Titans Together
by EmeraldsAndDaggers
Summary: For nearly a year, the Titans have been split across the globe, putting together what the Brotherhood had nearly ripped apart. With the fighting almost at an end, can the Titans go back to the way they were? M for language and plot. Complete.
1. Paralipophobia

I'm not dead! I was working on another TT story for a long time. And then I woke up one morning and starting writing this. I know people hate when a story is uploaded bits and pieces, but this is the only motivation I'll have to keep writing. I swear, I will finish this. It's just a matter of when... I hope you enjoy it. A completely different angle than my first one, but I'm enjoying writing it.

I do not own Teen Titans or anything half so amazing. Don't sue. All I've got is a half-full box of Bottlecaps.

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><p>Paralipophobia. Fear of neglecting duty or responsibility.<p>

In the months following the downfall of the Brotherhood, all of the Titans across the world had been thrown a little off routine. While a select few were sent to their homes, most had been scattered across the globe, trying to restore what the Brotherhood had almost destroyed. Even those cities untouched by the Brain and his compatriots had suffered from the lack of heroes with mundane criminals having made their marks on the unprotected. Gangs had claimed territories which made some sections of cities dangerous or a villainous plan had gone awry, leaving some parts of the country uninhabitable. Even after the battle the fighting wore on, taking its toll on the heroes.

Some of the villains had escaped in the last confrontation with the Brain, which meant tracking them across oceans to get them locked up once more. Sometimes the Titans were given a city to cover or a target to chase. In most cases, when heroes were assigned somewhere, they would end up crashing at whatever Tower was closest until they got a new assignment. Friends were split up and sent to other sides of the world, not out of spite, but out of necessity. Even those who had been frozen were on the loose. Someone, they had yet to discover who, had rigged the airplane carrying the villains. It had crashed over Mexico, killing the pilots. And there was no sign of any of them, except the Brain. Apparently without Mallah he wasn't much of a leader and had been left behind.

Raven, of the original Teen Titans, woke to a loud pounding on her door. It wasn't her door, of course, but the door of the room she had been staying in for the past four days. It had been the longest stay in one place since after the Brotherhood fell. Just last night, or early this morning, she had finally caught up with Kyd Wykkyd and managed to contain him. As of yet, she hadn't been assigned any new posts, so she had planned to try and recuperate for one day. Apparently it was too much to ask for. She rolled out of bed with a groan, heading towards the door.

She swung it open, only slightly surprised to see Aqualad on the other side. It was his

home, after all. Raven couldn't muster up the energy to feel embarrassed by her ragged jeans and sweatshirt. She had ruined quite a few uniforms chasing after Adonis – had that been a nightmare and a half – and she had lost her pack containing the rest of her uniforms on her 18th birthday. She had been flying over the Pacific when she got waylaid by Trident.

Aqualad wasn't a new face in this Tower. He had spent most of the past weeks here, trying to clean up the aftermath of a tanker spill, thanks to Johnny Rancid. She pushed her hair out of her eyes, "What is it?"

He smiled easily, sleeping in his own bed seemed to make him a little happier than most. "Good morning to you, too."

Raven just glared, waiting.

"I need you and Starfire to meet me in the main room. I've got a big announcement."

"This couldn't have waited?"

Aqualad shook his head, "Trust me, it really can't.

With that cryptic message, Aqualad left her to get ready. She really wasn't going to be doing much. She brushed her hair and put on her cleanest pair of jeans. She wasn't going to get excited about anything before she knew what was going on. She tugged on her boots and managed to hide her yawn beneath her hand as she left her temporary bed.

She acknowledged those who called her name as she walked by. Dozens of Titans were posted here in Steel City. It had been one of the worst hit. The Hive Five, minus Jinx, and what suspiciously looked like the work of both Plasmus and the Puppet King had run rampant in the City. Raven had been sent here initially to deal with the puppet master and had taken him down easily enough. Some, like her, had been sent to other corners of the world afterwards, but others had remained here to keep an eye on things. She hadn't been able to get too close to any of the newer Titans. By the time she had gotten a chance to talk to one of them, they'd be ordered somewhere else.

"Raven?"

The empath paused at the sound of Starfire's voice. The alien girl had changed in the past months. They had only just met up again three days ago. Raven, having expected Starfire to be her usual boisterous, talkative self, had been surprised to find the girl – almost woman, now – much more subdued. Her hair had gotten even longer, but for now it was bound back. Like Raven, Starfire's uniforms had been ruined and she had to resort to other clothing options. Despite the change in routine, the Tamaranian still preferred feminine cuts and colors. She seemed to enjoy sweaters and leggings at the moment, with low boots. Still, she was rarely seen without a smile, especially now. This was the closet either girl had been to their home since it all began.

"You were awakened by Aqualad this morning, as well?" Starfire asked.

Raven nodded, "Something about important news."

"I hope this important news is not anything sad. I'm not sure I could go through what happened with Argent, Pantha or Hotspot again." Starfire murmured, falling into step beside Raven.

Biting her lip, Raven nodded. She had been in Africa when she heard the news. Speedy had sent out a communication just as Raven had been getting up. They had been tracking the Master of Games through Siberia and there had been an accident – Pantha had fallen, Speedy had been too far away, it all happened so fast. There had been a small funeral for those who had been within range. Raven couldn't attend, but she had mourned for the woman. She had been kind, even if she was a little abrasive.

Hotspot and Argent had been other matters entirely. Brother Blood and Psimon had caught Hotspot unaware and hadn't shown him any mercy. Argent had fallen to Phobia and Mammoth. Raven had been at those funerals. Starfire had been close to Argent, and Hotspot, despite his temper, had made many good friends within the Titans. Raven couldn't bring herself to confide her feelings to Starfire, not when she had been…

Raven lengthened her strides to keep up with Starfire, "If it were bad news, why single us out? Besides, he didn't seem upset when he came to me this morning."

"You are right." Starfire smiled, "I grow concerned without cause."

The empath ignored that. All of them had cause to be concerned. She couldn't count how many nights she had dreamed that her communicator had gone off and she had to listen to the death of one of her friends. She wake up and have to go through her communicator log to make sure that it had just been a nightmare. Even when she had joined up with Starfire, the nightmares still hadn't stopped. There were still three names that woke her in a cold sweat. Until all her friends were home in Titans Tower, she wouldn't feel relieved.

She and Starfire walked into the main room of the Tower, so similar to her own home and yet so different. They walked over to where Aqualad waited. The room was crowded with other Titans fixing their breakfasts, so Aqualad led them to one of the side rooms to talk privately. Despite her encouraging words to Starfire, Raven still felt her heart pounding hard in her chest. _Please_, she thought, _no more bad news_.

Aqualad didn't keep them waiting. Perhaps the tensions on their faces reminded him that they had been the original Titans for a reason. "I thought you'd like to know. Robin called us early this morning to say he was on his way here."

Raven's spirits suddenly lifted. She hadn't seen Robin since they had been working together to take down Mumbo in southern China seven months ago. Wow, had it really been over half a year since she'd seen her friend? It had to be; it had been just after her birthday. Raven's thoughts were drowned out by Starfire's pleased gasp, "Really? How far away is he?"

Aqualad was pleased to see that the news had made both girls smile, "He should be near now. Probably tomorrow morning."

"Is he bringing anyone else with him?" Raven asked.

"There were others in the background, but I could only really hear Robin." Aqualad admitted.

"It is the best news I could have heard today!" Starfire laughed, her eyes dancing like they had when they had both been younger. "Thank you, friend!" She lifted Aqualad off the ground in a hug that probably bruised some bones.

Raven smiled as the alien flew away, depositing Aqualad on the ground. He winced and rubbed his ribs, "Been a while since she's done that."

"You mentioned Robin. She'll be flying high until he gets here." Raven said.

"When are those two going to get together?" Aqualad asked.

The empath's smile disappeared, "Maybe when this war is over. Until then, any news on what to do next? Give me a target, a city, an ocean." Raven said.

Aqualad stared at her, "Didn't you hear? Robin is coming here."

"I heard. Doesn't mean the bad guys will stop anytime soon." Raven said. Despite her desire for rest, the memory of those lost had sparked her again. She had to keep moving or she would just break down. Keep outrunning reality, right now that was her mantra.

"Nothing new yet. Just…get some rest, okay? You need it more than anyone." He told her.

Raven bristled, "What's that supposed to mean?"

"You've been going since the fall of the Brain. Everyone else has taken at least a few days for themselves. But you haven't stopped. Just breathe."

"No time for that. Red X slipped the Titans just the other day, Plasmus disappeared into the sewers beneath Gotham, Control Freak hasn't come out a television long enough for someone to snag him, no one even knows if Slade is still alive, but my guess is yes, and-"

"And there are other Titans out there. You're not doing this all alone. You have help and you can take a minute to catch up. Do you even know what day it is?"

She tried to count in her head, but she couldn't even figure the day of the week, let alone the date itself. "It's December now, right?"

Aqualad looked at her, something sad in his eyes, "It's Christmas."

The words barely gave her pause. They had been too busy to buy presents or decorate. Half the Titans were still spread out across the globe, far away from friends and homes. "Oh." She waited the respectful amount of time, "So, have a target for me?"

He sighed. "I don't. Maybe Robin will. Either way, you've got to wait for him. He said so."

"Fine. Let me know when he gets here."

He shook his head, "Sure, Raven. Whatever you want."

She walked away, annoyed that he seemed upset with her. They were fighting a war here and she couldn't just stand on the sidelines when things needed to be done. Starfire had talked to her just the other day about how they used to have lazy weekends in the Tower. She could barely remember what it felt like not to have something to do or somewhere to be. If Robin couldn't give her an order, she'd go looking for one. Kid Flash had contacted her from Brazil the other day, just to talk, but he had hinted that he could use a hand.

Early in the fighting, Cyborg had made adjustments to the communicators. When a Titan was done with a mission, they'd select the option to be 'Waiting for Assignment'. A list of all those Waiting would be sent to Robin and he'd work his way down, assigning places or targets to them. Raven couldn't remember the last time Robin had just said hello to her during a call. All of his conversations had been curt and to the point. Not that she was complaining.

While a Titan was waiting for a reassignment, they'd show up as Available on all other communicators. If someone needed help, they could go down the list and find a Titan with coordinates close to theirs and ask for a hand.

What had quickly become the most popular and used feature had been the chatting function Cyborg had made. When Titans were traveling or between assignments, they could use their communicators to find someone to talk to. It could be a random connection, just between two free Titans, or they could look for a friend specifically. When they had gone for days, sometimes weeks, without seeing a friendly face, being able to talk to someone fighting for the same thing made it all a little more bearable. That was how Kid Flash contacted her last night.

Raven made her way to the roof of the Tower. It was unoccupied as the weather was looking ominous. Grateful for her sweatshirt, Raven assumed the lotus position and began chanting. It was harder for her to find her calm center, but she continued to meditate. Eventually she'd find that place within her that was the eye of her own personal storm, she just wasn't used to it taking so long.

The wind started picking up and Raven shivered, feeling the cold even through her jacket. She tried to distance herself from the feeling, thinking instead on her surrogate family. Starfire seemed well-adjusted enough. A little quieter, a little more controlled, but essentially the same person. She still clearly loved Robin, as she had a year ago. Even if he was a bit harder now. Raven's last real conversation with Robin had been during China and Mumbo. He hadn't spoken much to her, beyond the necessary comments and orders. Though, he had asked how Starfire was.

After the Brain, Robin had spent his time contacting people from wherever he could find a computer. Once, he had been in an Apple store, another time he was in one of Slade's old haunts. Once, Raven suspected that he had been contacting her from the Batcave in Gotham, but he hadn't said anything about it. Cyborg was probably the least changed. But then again, he had been used to adversity before the Brain. He had called Raven just last week to talk. He had been his usual happy, caring, nosy self. Asking questions he shouldn't be, gossiping as badly as Starfire could about the alien and Robin. Raven had gone along with it as well as she could, until he started asking questions about their last teammate. Then she had closed down and Cyborg knew better than to keep prodding. Of course, that didn't mean he had stopped.

_"He's worried about you, you know."_

_ Raven had stared at the window, keeping an eye out for Kyd Wykkyd. She had spent two days in the apartment building across from the warehouse already, waiting for him to leave so she could grab him. She couldn't risk running in, now without knowing who else was in there with him. Besides, Wykkyd had been difficult enough before when she had gone up against him. She wasn't going to lose the element of surprise._

_ "He worries too easily." Raven murmured._

_ Cyborg's face looked a little disappointed. "You've been ignoring all of his calls. But you take mine. Why?"_

_ "He calls at inopportune times."_

_ "He called just before me and you ignored it."_

_ "Like I said, it wasn't a good time." Raven said, rubbing her eyes. She was going to have to sleep soon. Three days without rest seemed to be her limit. She'd have to find another room. The owners of this one were coming back soon, if their calendars could be believed._

_ "Did something happen with you two?" He asked._

_ "Nothing happened. His calls are a distraction. Much as yours are becoming." Raven said sharply._

_ Cyborg sighed, "Maybe you could ring him up next time you get a free moment. The kid's been having a rough time and he won't talk to me. At least, not about anything important."_

_ "Does he ever talk about anything important?"_

_ "Don't say that, Raven." Cyborg admonished her. "You know he's all business when he needs to be. I know something happened with you, I just don't know what. But you're running yourself ragged and he's been…"_

_ Don't ask, don't ask, don't ask, Raven told herself. "He's been what?" Damn her mouth._

_ "He's been even worse than you. I know he's been calling you, but he doesn't try to contact anyone else. I ran into him in Mexico last month. He never even changed out his falcon form to say hello. He just kept going." Cyborg got quiet and it took all of Raven's significant self-control not to ask him to keep going. "When I can get a hold of him, when he decides to answer, he barely talks. Obligatory 'how are you, where are you, do you need help' and then 'anyone heard from Raven'. Then he's gone."_

_ "This had been rough on everyone. I heard Speedy was off the grid for two weeks after Pantha's death. Everyone has been changing." Raven said quietly._

_ "Pantha…what happened to her, Argent and Hotspot is even more reason to make sure you keep in touch with your friends. Or did you forget what happened the first few times you ignored his calls?" Cyborg asked._

_ Raven remained quiet. No, she hadn't forgotten. He had thought that something had happened to her. That she had gone the same way as Pantha or Argent. He had already been halfway to South America before Robin called him back to his post, letting him know that Raven was perfectly fine. She had gotten eight calls immediately after that, before a week's silence from him. Then the calls had started again. Sometimes once a day for a week, sometimes twice a day, sometimes only a couple times a month. But they never stopped. He was nothing if not persistent._

_ "I keep in touch with you Robin and Star. Melvin, Timmy and Teether are always calling. Everyone knows where I am if they just look at their communicators. There's no need to worry." Raven told him._

_ "I always worry. And right now, you two not talking is worrying me most of all." Cyborg told her._

_ "I can take care of myself."_

_ "That's not what I'm questioning." Cyborg said. "We all know how to fight, now more than ever. I'm worried that some of us have forgotten what it's like to not be fighting. What our lives were like before the Brotherhood."_

_ "I guess we'll deal with that when there's no more fighting to be had." Raven said. She saw a flicker of movement by the warehouse. "Looks like I'm on. Call you later."_

_ "No, you won't." Cyborg sighed, "Good luck."_

Raven gave up on meditating. No way she would find her calm now. She went back into the Tower, ignoring Aqualad's voice. He would only want to talk and that was the last thing she felt like doing. Finding sanctuary in her temporary bedroom, Raven decided that sleep would be the only comfort she could find now. This might be the last chance she had for a nap for the next few weeks. She took what she could get.

Never even changing, she fell onto her bed and curled up. December, huh? That explained why she was so cold all the time. She tugged the blanket over her and closed her eyes, ready to get some much needed rest.

_Bzzt, bzzt._

With a groan, Raven grabbed her communicator off the floor and flipped it open. It was a request for a chat. She wasn't surprised to see the name on the screen.

Beast Boy.

She lay back down on the bed, curling around the communicator. She stared at it longer than necessary, letting the call go unaccepted. Soon it went dark and silent, as it always did.


	2. Nosocomephobia

I do not own Teen Titans. This is just for fun. I've got nothing worth suing me for, unless you'd enjoy a collection of stamped pennies and Doctor Who stickers. If you do, go get your own.

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><p>Nosocomephobia. Fear of hospitals.<p>

Beast Boy wasn't shocked that Raven didn't pick up. She gave him no reason to hope that she would. Eight months without an answer didn't leave with any illusions. Still, he hoped like he always did. And he was disappointed, like he always was.

He closed the communicator, tucking it into his pocket. With his head bowed and covered by a hood and his hands shoved into his jeans, no one knew that a green changling walked among them.

He liked Canada. It was quiet. Cold. He had to keep moving to stay warm. No time for thinking. No time for brooding. He had come up here to give Kole and Gnarrk a hand with Andre le Blanc. Unfortunately, he had gotten caught in a storm over Greenland and had gotten here a little late. Luckily, Gnarrk and Kole had held their own and managed to capture le Blanc, but Gnarrk was still in the hospital. Beast Boy had been watching over Kole until the caveman recovered, not that she needed the help.

He was waiting for his next assignment or for someone to call for help. Seems like all he did was wait. Wait for a target, wait for a call. Fighting was interspersed between the waiting and he liked that. Animal thoughts were so much clearer – this person is a threat, stop him. And that's exactly what Beast Boy did.

He swore as his foot caught another edge in the sidewalk. Having outgrown his other shoes and all of his normal clothes, he had been forced to make do with a pair that was a little too big. They made him feel clumsy. They made him feel like he was a kid again. He didn't like it. None of them were kids. Not even Timmy or Teether. Not anymore.

His shoulder pulled as the wind whipped around him. Beast Boy rubbed it absentmindedly. The wound was ten months old and it still hurt when it was cold. He had repaid Scissors for the injury a few times over before handing him to the authorities. Had Robin been around, he might have been lectured for excessive force, but the Boy Wonder was a hard man to get a hold of nowadays. Besides, Scissors had just shredded a couple bank security guards. He deserved everything the changling had given him.

Beast Boy stomped his feet outside the motel he and Kole had been staying in, trying to shake off the snow. The room was empty when he got inside, which wasn't anything new. Kole was always at Gnarrk's side. She only came back to the room when she was ordered to leave by the hospital staff. Beast Boy would meet her at the exit doors when visiting hours were over and walk her back to the motel. Then he'd walk her back to the hospital in the morning. He never went in, though. He hated hospitals. Kole kept him updated on Gnarrk's progress. The big guy was healing well. He should be out in the next few days.

Beast Boy plopped down on the bed, ignoring the snow that landed on the comforter. He had another couple hours before he had to pick up Kole. He could afford a nap. He damn well needed one.

His communicator beeped and Beast Boy felt his heart stop. He hated that noise. Ever since Pantha, that noise left him terrified. And that fear wasn't unfounded, not after Hotspot or Argent.

He flipped it open, preparing himself for the worst. He was greeted by his old teammate, the Boy Wonder himself.

"Rob. Nice to see you." Beast Boy told him.

Robin smiled, _smiled_! "Good to see you, too."

"What's up, all the baddies everywhere have decided to retire?" He asked.

"Almost. How's Gnarrk?"

"Recovering. Should be out in a day or two." Beast Boy said, running a hand through his hair. He needed a haircut.

"Good. I see you're still in Canada."

"Yup, great white north itself. You calling to chat or do you have someplace for me to be?" Beast Boy asked. He was itching for another assignment and Robin didn't usually chit-chat so much. Usually just a hello and then a name or a country. This was throwing him off his game.

"I do have somewhere for you to be." Robin said with a grin. "Steel City. We're heading there. You, me, Cy, Bumblebee, Speedy. Mas and Menos are probably already there."

"What's going on? Hive Five escape already?" Beast Boy asked, standing up and already feeling the adrenaline go. He needed a good fight.

"No, nothing like that." Robin's face grew concerned, but it vanished quickly enough, "We're going home."

"Then why Steel City?" Beast Boy asked, pausing. Go home? Really? Was it all over then?

"The girls are already there. Plus, Cyborg and I are giving Speedy a ride." Robin told him, watching carefully.

Beast Boy tried not to let anything show, but he feared that he failed. Robin was always observant. Too observant. "When are you guys getting there?"

"Probably early tomorrow. Think you can make it?" Robin asked.

He'd have to fly through the night. Had to talk to Kole before he left. Would be dead on his feet by the time he got there. Still... "Yeah. Yes. I'll be there."

"Good." Robin said, honestly. "About time we all went home, huh?"

"Yeah. About time." He felt like he was in a daze.

Robin seemed to notice and let him off easy. "Fly safe, okay?"

"I will. Don't let Speedy drive." Beast Boy managed to pull himself together.

Laughing, Robin told him goodbye. Beast Boy closed the communicator and sat back down on the bed. He opened it again to another screen, checking the coordinates of a particular Titan. Yup, Raven was in Steel City, all right. Listed as Waiting for a new assignment. Which means she probably wasn't too busy to take his call. Which meant that she was ignoring him, still. Beast Boy got up and walked out of the motel, slamming the door a little harder than necessary.

He wasn't certain what had happened to make Raven shut him out. At first, when Cy had created the chat feature on the communicators they had talked a lot. By accident, in the beginning.

_"Helloooo? It's Beast Boy. Who'd I get?" He loved the roulette chat search that Cy had installed. Two weeks away from home and he was already homesick and missing his friends. Taking a break from animal form – his wings were killing him – he was walking along a train track in…Russia? He wasn't certain._

_ "A hundred Titans all over the globe and I get you." A voice drawled back._

_ Beast Boy glanced down at the screen, seeing the empath sitting in a dark room. "Raven?"_

_ "Who else? How are you?" She asked in a hushed tone._

_ "Exhausted, how about you?"_

_ She coughed and Beast Boy frowned, "You getting sick, Rae?"_

_ "Raven. And I suppose I've been better." She admitted. She was curled up wherever she was, knees tucked under her chin._

_ "Where are you?" He tripped over a broken track and remembered to look at his feet rather than the tiny screen._

_ "Germany. A bank exploded the other day, so Robin sent me here to make sure it wasn't any of the Brotherhood. You?" She coughed again and it rattled in her chest dangerously._

_ "Russia, I think. You should really go see someone about that." His head caught up to the situation. "Wait, why aren't you healing yourself?"_

_ "I used a lot of energy yesterday to heal Red Star. He got caught in Doctor Light's ray. Almost blinded him." She cleared her throat, "Can't afford to use anymore just now."_

_ "Doctor Light, really? I hope you pummeled him good."_

_ "He got away, unfortunately. But next time I see him…" Raven trailed off._

_ Beast Boy heard something loud and angry coming his way. He turned to see a very long cargo train on the tracks. He hopped off them and loudly told Raven, "I gotta go! I'll call you later, though! Get better!"_

_ Her reply was lost among the sound of the train's whistle._

It had been another few days before he had been able to call her again. Gizmo was a pain to track and had slipped off to Steel City on a plane that Beast Boy just missed. He reported it to Robin, who set someone in Steel City on it. That left Beast Boy on his own for a day or two before Robin could find him another target. So he had called Raven later that night. He had talked to Cyborg earlier that day and the robot had admitted that Raven had been pretty off the grid. Only checking in when she absolutely had to, taking on more assignments than she should, flying all over the globe despite Robin's warnings. Beast Boy was worried.

_"Hello?" Her voice was raspy as she answered the call._

_ "Raven. It's me."_

_ "Me who?"_

_ He glared into the screen, seeing Raven sit down. The wall behind her was stone and it was completely different than where he had seen her last time. "Where are you?"_

_ "New York." She said._

_ "Geez, that was fast." He said. "You've got Cy worried, you know. Not checking in and running all over."_

_ "He worries too much. I'm fine." She assured him._

_ "Uh huh. How are you feeling?"_

_ "Fine." She tried to smother the cough, but it was obvious it had gotten worse._

_ "Come on, Rae. What's your excuse now? Why haven't you healed yourself?"_

_ She averted her eyes. "I ran into Kid Flash and Jinx. They had a run in with Madame Rouge in France."_

_ "So you healed them, instead of yourself. And then you went across an ocean to New York. Still sick." Beast Boy summed up._

_ "I…I couldn't leave them hurting." She said quietly._

_ Beast Boy felt himself softening at her tone. She was exhausted and sick and alone. All of them were. It wouldn't do to make her feel worse. "Of course not. But you gotta look after yourself, too."_

_ "I know. I'll do it tonight." She promised him._

_ "How about now?" He asked._

_ She shook her head, "I'll take care of it after you're gone."_

_ "Do it now, Rae. I'll call you again tomorrow." Beast Boy grinned when she glanced up in surprise. "Come on, this is the most we've talked since…well, almost ever. I'm enjoying it."_

_ She smiled, ducking her head, "Me too, oddly enough."_

_ That made him grin wider. "Good. So heal up, get some sleep. I'll call later."_

_ "Wait, how are you feeling? Where are you?" She asked quickly._

_ "I'm fine. Still in Russia. Just waiting for a reassignment."_

_ "Well, if you're sent to New York, let me know." Raven said._

_ "I will. Get some rest."_

_ He nodded, "You too."_

And so it had begun. A call almost every day, every other day when they were busy. Cyborg was just happy to hear that she was talking to someone. Robin and Starfire were having similar conversations, he found out. Beast Boy was happy that his team was still in touch. He had no illusions about how dangerous their lives were right now. Especially after Pantha's death. Raven had called him that night. Both of them had been quiet for a while.

_ "You forget, sometimes." Raven said suddenly._

_ Beast Boy was lying on his back, the communicator next to his head. "Forget what?"_

_ "How much we risk every day."_

_ He nodded. "Yeah. But someone has to."_

_ Raven's breathing was smooth, her cough long gone. "Could be someone else. Some of these Titans are just kids."_

_ "Hell, we're still kids." Beast Boy told her. "You don't see us wishing we could quit."_

_ "No, no we don't quit." Raven sighed, "Then again, how many of us have a choice?"_

_ "What do you mean?" Beast Boy asked, rolling on his side to face her._

_ "I mean…" She was quieter, "for some of us…for me, the Titans are the only home I know. There's nowhere else I could go." She quickly reassured him, "Not that I want to. But perhaps others. Maybe even you."_

_ "There's always a way to leave, Rae. You think Cy and Robin would just toss you out on your head? No, Cy'd set you up with all the holorings he could and Robin would get you a fake ID and money and whatever else he thought you'd need." Beast Boy said. "And you'd always be welcome. And I know you know that. So what's this really about?"_

_ She was quiet for so long that he thought she fell asleep. He couldn't see her face, so he quietly asked, "Rae?"_

_ "I'm scared."_

_ Beast Boy stared at the tiny screen. He could have said a million things, made a thousand jokes, cracked a hundred funny faces or said dozens of clichés about death and fear. Instead, he said the only thing that could have surprised Raven._

_ "Me too."_

They hadn't talked much more that evening, just small comments about the weather in Africa – Beast Boy told Raven some of his favorite things about growing up there. He was in Ireland at the time – Raven told him to take a look at the Book of Kells before he left so he could tell her what it was like. Even when they fell silent, they hadn't closed their communicators. Perhaps it was just the reassurance of having someone there. Just knowing that they weren't completely alone made the night more bearable. For the first time in a while, they had been on the same continent, though still thousands of miles between them. The next morning, Beast Boy woke up to find Raven's face on the screen in front of him, still asleep. He quietly closed the communicator, letting her rest.

They had gotten through Hotspot's death much in the same way. Talking about nothing and everything. Comparing circumstances as Raven walked and Beast Boy was holed up in a junkyard in Estonia.

_"In a cabinet, as a mouse." Beast Boy told her._

_ "Pitiful. I had to spend the night in a belfry. In Turkey. I was freezing." Raven said, walking somewhere or another. He kept losing track of where she was._

_ He chuckled. "Okay. How about this, I had to sleep with the sheep in New Zealand. As a sheep, of course."_

_ "Pretty good. But last night I slept in a train station. Not much better dressed than the actual hobos." Raven said._

_ "You had to have been the prettiest hobo, though." Beast Boy said._

_ Raven looked startled at that, but she recovered quickly, "Not so sure about that. Drunk Bob was quite a charmer."_

_ Glad that she left his comment alone, Beast Boy hastened to bring the conversation back to an easier topic. "Well, I got to sleep as a rat in the sewers last month."_

_ "Oh, bad." Raven agreed. "Unfortunately, I had to sleep as a human in the sewers two weeks back."_

_ Beast Boy waved his hands, "All right, all right. You win." He grinned. "So what have you been up to?"_

_ "Same old, same old."She murmured. "You? How's the shoulder?"_

_ Beast Boy shrugged and tried not to wince. "I swear, that Scissors kid was a butcher in a past life. Robin has me staying put until it finishes healing."_

_ "You should have stayed in the hospital." Raven told him._

_ "I hate hospitals." Beast Boy said. "We've been through this before. No, come on, I'm living vicariously through you. Who's your target?_

_She smiled, "I'm impressed you not only knew the word 'vicariously', but used it properly." Beast Boy rolled his eyes at that. "I'm looking for Mallah." She said._

"_What?" Beast Boy sat up straight. "By yourself?"_

_ She looked surprised that he was so upset. "Wildebeest was supposed to join me, but he got caught up with something else."_

_ "Don't go alone. Mallah's dangerous." He told her._

_ "Geez, really? The giant, talking gorilla might be a threat?" She said dryly. "I'll be fine. Besides, if I leave the trail now I risk losing him."_

_ "I'm serous, Raven. He's dangerous. Don't let him get the upper hand. Don't go against him with strength. Stay as far away from him as you can. Try to catch him by surprise"_

_ "The boy knows his enemies well. Too bad he's not here, instead of you."_

_ Beast Boy was on his feet as Mallah's voice reverberated through the communicator. "Get out of there, Raven!"_

_ He heard Raven's mantra before the communicator went dead._

That night had been one of the longest in his life. He had tried to get Robin to send someone else out there, but no one had been in range. No one had been free. He would have flown there himself had Robin not specifically ordered him to stay put. As it was, he didn't sleep a single moment.

Just before dawn, his communicator beeped. He scrambled for it, haste making him clumsy, _"Raven?"_

_ "Who else?" Her voice was thick. The screen was black, not letting Beast Boy see anything._

_ "Are you okay? What happened? I've been worried!"_

_ "Calm down, Beast Boy. Mallah is behind bars, of course. Didn't really care if they were zoo bars or prison bars. I'm sorry you were worried, though you should know I can take care of myself." She said._

_ "Of course you can, but Mallah is a monster." Beast Boy told her._

_ "Gorilla, actually." Raven answered._

_ It was still dark, but Beast Boy could hear things in the background. It sounded like people. Lots of people. And…monitors? "Why can't I see you?"_

_ "I'm…it's dark here."_

_ Even without seeing her face, Beast Boy could tell she was lying. "Raven, where are you?"_

_ "Hungary." Was her quiet answer. "Listen, everything is fine. Wildebeest showed up and Starfire is on her way here. I'm fine and well looked after, I promise."_

_ "Then why won't you tell me where you-"_

_ "Miss, I told you, no cell phones in the ICU."_

_ Beast Boy went cold as Raven murmured an apology, though didn't hang up. Raven was silent for a while until the other voices faded away. Then she sighed and moved her hand._

_ He stared at her. She looked pale enough as it was, but in the fluorescent lights and the unappealing hospital gown, she looked downright ghostly. Her face was badly bruised, her left eye swollen shut._

_ "What happened?" Beast Boy asked quietly._

_ "He got the drop on me." Raven told him._

_ Beast Boy's fists clenched. "And?"_

_ "And…" She groaned and waved at her face, "He did this, broke my leg, caused some internal bleeding. Nothing I can't fix in a day or two."_

_ "And what did you do to him?" His words could be called a growl at this point, but he didn't really care._

_ Raven's clear eye got a little colder and she smiled. "He broke my leg. I broke his face."_

_ "Good." His anger subsided as he took in her condition. "I'm so sorry. I tried to get there, but Robin said I had to stay put, that you could handle it."_

_ "I did handle it." Raven told him. "I'm fine, Beast Boy. Really. I just need to rest for a day and I'll be back on the road."_

_ "Still, I'm sorry."_

_ "Don't be. It wasn't your fault. It was Mallah's. And I took care of it." Raven reassured him. He was ready to press the matter and Raven knew it. "I promise, Beast Boy. I'll be fine. Don't worry about me."_

_ He shook his head, too tired and worried to be afraid of what he said. "I always worry 'bout you, Rae."_

_ She flushed, obvious against her ash-grey skin, "Thanks. I worry about you, too. How's the shoulder healing up?"_

_ "It's fine. Still gets sore sometimes when it's cold."_

_ "Try rubbing some-"_

_ "Miss! I won't tell you again! No phones in here!" A nurse admonished._

_ Raven flushed again, "All right, all right. Bye, Beast Boy. I'll call you when I get out of here."_

_ "Take care, Rae."_

He didn't hear from her for three days – the longest they had gone without talking in the past two months. Then she got out of the hospital and things were back to normal, for a while. They had chatted more frequently and longer, both keeping each other sane. Beast Boy realized that despite talking to Cyborg, Robin, Starfire and the other Titans when they were available, the best part of his days was when he was talking to Raven. She must be lonely, because she was starting to laugh at his jokes and he was starting to recognize her particular brand of wry humor. She was clever and funny, even if she had a tendency to run herself into the ground. She found him amusing and smarter than she expected, even if his mouth tended to run away with him.

And then everything changed. He could remember the night clearly. It was the night before Argent had died.

Their conversation had gone as it usually did; discussing things they hated about other countries (_"They have no concept of personal space." Raven had said about those in Brazil_) and the things they liked most (_"Seriously, Raven. You should hear the national parks here! They're amazing!" Beast Boy had exclaimed from Taiwan_).

Everything had seemed fine when Raven had told him goodnight and hung up. The next day, she hadn't answered. Beast Boy figured she was busy, so didn't think too much on it. Besides, it was the day he had found out Argent had died and his thoughts had been with those Titans mourning. But when Raven didn't answer the next day, or the day after that, Beast Boy got worried. On the fourth day of silence, the shit had hit the fan. Beast Boy had freaked out, already on his way out of Taiwan when Robin had called him.

_"Rob, something's wrong. I haven't been able to get a hold of Raven. I think she might be in trouble."_

_ "Beast Boy, she's fine. She called me today. Return to your post."_

_ "What?" Beast Boy froze, ignoring those who yelled at him for blocking their path. "She called you?"_

_ "Of course. She said she was perfectly fine. So why are you running off?" Robin asked, a little annoyed._

_ "I thought…she wasn't answering my calls." Beast Boy said, veering out of the way of traffic and leaning against a wall. She was fine. Nothing was wrong. But then why…?_

_ "She's busy, Beast Boy. You can't expect her to answer your calls all the time."_

_ "I know, but I just…so she's fine. Good." Beast Boy mumbled. What had happened in the span of one evening?_

_ "Yes. So return to your post. Cheshire is supposed to be somewhere in central Taiwan, so I really need you at your best."_

_ "Yeah. Okay. Sure."_

_ "Can you handle this, Beast Boy?" Robin asked._

_ He shook his head fiercely, "Yeah. I'm fine. Cheshire. Got it."_

He had returned to Taiwan, confused and more than a little hurt. She had time enough to call Robin, but she wouldn't answer him? He tried again and again, but Raven never picked up. And so it had gone for just about eight months. He had called and she had ignored him. Not once had she talked to him.

Beast Boy was suddenly at the hospital, his thoughts having made the half hour walk disappear. Steeling himself to enter a hospital, god how he hated them, Beast Boy took a deep breath. The faster he went in, the faster he could get out. Beast Boy swallowed and jogged up the stairs to Gnarrk's room, knowing he'd find Kole there.

"Hey, Kole." He said upon entering.

"Gnarrk!" Gnarrk said in greeting.

Beast Boy smiled, glad that Gnarrk had healed up so well. "Good to see you up and at 'em."

Kole was grinning widely, "He's being let out today!" Her tiny had was engulfed in Gnarrk's giant one.

"Great timing. I just got called to Steel City, so I'll be out of your hair."

"Gnarrk."

"Gnarrk's right." Kole said, "You were never in our hair. You helped us. Without you, I don't think I could have gotten Gnarrk to the hospital in time. We owe you our lives."

Beast Boy held his hands out, "You owe me nothing, guys. We're Titans. It's what we do."

"It was good to see you again, Beast Boy. Hopefully next time it won't be under such crummy circumstances." Kole hugged him and Gnarrk shook his hand.

"Take care of each other." Beast Boy told them. "Call me whenever you need a hand."

"Gnarrk!" Gnarrk yelled at his back, hugging the tiny Kole to him.

"Yeah." Beast Boy mumbled. "Gnarrk."

As soon as he was outside, Beast Boy shed his human form and vanished into the clouds. A green bar-tailed godwit sped into the air. The bird was quick, though not as fast as a frigate bird or a spine-tailed swift. Its greatest attribute was its ability to travel huge distances without a single break. If the godwits can fly from Alaska to New Zealand without a break, he could make it from Canada to Steel City without breaking a sweat. Besides, maybe he'd finally get some answers.

With that in mind, Beast Boy flew towards his home and his friends.


	3. Scoptophobia

I don't own Teen Titans. Don't sue. I've got a nice collection of Hawkgirl action figures. Taken me a while to get them all. So please let me keep them.

* * *

><p>Scoptophobia. Fear of being seen.<p>

Her communicator beeped in the early darkness of the morning. Raven flinched at the noise, but grabbed at it immediately. She flipped it open, to see Starfire's face, tear-stained and terrified.

"Starfire?" Raven asked. "What's wrong?"

"Ra-Raven. It was Phobia. She caught up to us. There was no time, we couldn't…we couldn't…"

"That's impossible. I took care of Phobia. She's in prison." Raven told her, her heart pounding.

"She broke out. She got them, Raven."

"Wh…" Her mouth was dry, she felt like she couldn't speak loudly enough to be heard, everything she said was in a whisper. "Who? She got who?"

"All of them. She got all of them. Cyborg and Ro…Robin." Starfire sobbed quietly at the name. "And…and…"

"And?" Raven managed to choke out.

"And Beast Boy."

Raven went cold. Phobia had gotten all of them. All of her friends. She was supposed to get Phobia. She was the one who had been tracking her. Phobia was in prison.

"Raven, you let us down." Starfire whispered.

"Raven!" The shout was accompanied by a pounding on her door.

She yelped, leaving the bed. She was drenched in sweat and her heart was pounding. She hated that nightmare. No matter how many times she had it, she couldn't shake the feeling that it was real. She grabbed her communicator and flipped it open. No calls from Starfire. No calls from anyone but Beast Boy in the past 24 hours.

"Raven?" Her door reverberated again.

Raven stomped over to the door and slammed it open. "What?" She was too shaken and too thrown off to be courteous.

Starfire wasn't thrown off by her harsh response. Her smile was huge and her hair wasn't far behind. She had left it down today, in all of its fiery glory. It nearly reached her thighs and all of it was a bushy, gorgeous orange.

"Wow, Star. That's a lot of hair." Raven said, rubbing her eyes. She couldn't be grumpy when the waves of happiness were rolling off of the alien like a tsunami.

"Do you think Robin will like it?" She asked, her voice tentative. "I could have Jinx cut it, if you think it is too much."

Raven shook her head, "You look fantastic, Star. Robin's an idiot if he doesn't see that."

"Robin…" Starfire sighed, "Robin sometimes cannot see what is in front of him. Have you noticed that?"

Raven smiled gently, "We've all known that, ever since you first kicked his butt. Sometimes boys need a clearer sign. Especially boys like Robin."

The alien's eyes grew thoughtful. "You think I need to make my feelings for Robin more obvious?"

"Maybe." Raven said. "Who knows? Maybe being apart for so long will make him realize what's important."

Starfire stared at Raven for a moment too long. "Perhaps Robin isn't the only one who will come to realize what's important. Have you heard from Beast Boy lately?"

Raven's smile disappeared. "No."

"From what I've heard, it's not because he hasn't tried." Starfire said. "I spoke with him a few days back. He was concerned, as usual."

"Why is everyone talking to me about Beast Boy?" Raven asked. She went into her room, knowing that Starfire would follow. She ignored that and began getting changed.

"Because you were the last one to have a real conversation with him. Kole also called me, just yesterday. She is also concerned about Beast Boy. She said that she had spent a few days with him and his longest conversation was when he was saying goodbye. Even that was only a few sentences. She said he barely slept. Barely even went to see Gnarrk in the hospital."

"He doesn't like hospitals." Raven told her, pulling her tank top over her head and making sure she was facing away from the alien.

"Why is that?"

Raven answered without thinking, "He said because he had spent so much time in them when he was younger. He hates the smell and with his animal forms, the antiseptic is much harsher for him."

"I didn't know that. When did you find this out?"

Raven thought for a moment, pausing in pulling her sweatshirt over her head. "I was in Iceland. He was in…Japan, I think."

"You two spoke often, how can you remember which conversation it was?"

"I don't know, I just do." Her voice was muffled through the dark blue cotton.

"Because the conversations were important to you?" Starfire asked.

"Yes. No." Raven glared at the alien as her head broke free. "You aren't as naïve as you used to be."

Starfire smiled, "Who among us can afford to be naïve anymore, friend Raven?"

Not having an answer, Raven didn't try. She finished getting ready quickly, leaving her hair down. It wasn't nearly as long as Starfire's, hers reached just below her shoulders. For the first time in a long time, longer than she would ever admit, her hair was clean and tangle free. One good thing about being in the Titans East Tower – showers every day.

The alien girl remained with her, thinking something over. Raven was also thinking over their conversation and something sparked her mind. She spoke up, regardless of the looks she was going to get, "You said he left Kole and Gnarrk?"

"Yes. He left last night."

"To go where?" Raven asked.

Starfire observed Raven's face carefully, "I'm not certain. Perhaps you should call him."

Raven ignored that suggestion and didn't speak again. Still, she touched the communicator in her pocket. She would check on him, when she was alone.

Unfortunately, she wasn't able to get that opportunity anytime soon. Starfire accompanied her everywhere – to the kitchen where Raven got her tea, to the roof where Raven had drank her tea and meditated, to the bathroom, to Aqualad's side when he called them.

"I just got a call from Robin. They should be here in the next five minutes or so." He told them, already shrinking away from Starfire's shriek of happiness.

"Wondrous!" She exclaimed, rising in the air. Everyone nearby stopped to watch her. It was difficult not to be drawn in by Starfire's unbridled joy. She positively glowed with it. For Raven, that was completely true. The alien girl's aura was…wondrous to behold.

Raven was smiling, along with everyone else. Nearly every Titan had gathered in the main room, awaiting Robin's arrival. She was just about to check the time again when she heard the screech of tires out front. Everyone's heads swung towards the main doors, silent and waiting. Even Raven was holding her breath. She didn't know why she was so anxious, but she couldn't shake the feeling.

"I don't hear anyone." Robin's voice was clear in the noiseless Tower.

"What, you think no one's home?"

Raven's heart lifted just a little more at the sound of Cyborg's voice.

"Please, you two are just worried that there won't be any food for you when we get inside."

"Bee?" Aqualad smiled.

"Hey, that's a serious concern. I need some real food." Speedy's voice brought even more smiles to the gathered Titans.

"Let's just go in and find out, shall we?" Robin said.

The doors creaked open, revealing their four friends. Like most Titans, they had to resort to civilian clothing, but there was no missing Cyborg's robotic face, shocked as he stared at the group waiting for him. Or the confident way Robin stood in dark slacks and a button up shirt, sunglasses not hiding his surprise. Bumblebee was ginning widely, her bright yellow sweater and black leggings hugging her and giving a nod to her original costume. Speedy also sported sunglasses, but dressed down with jeans and a bright red jacket. Unlike Robin, he pulled them off to stare at the Titans in front of him.

"Um." Robin smiled, "Hey."

The Tower exploded in cheers. The four were pulled into hugs and kisses, regardless of who it was. Robin was received as a hero for what he did, despite his numerous attempts to say it had been all of them. It had been, but Robin had been their figurehead and their inspiration. Cyborg had contacted almost every single Titan at some point or another, just to make sure they were doing okay. He had been at all three funerals and somehow he had always found the time to be available when someone was having a rough time.

Speedy and Bumblebee's reception was no less excited. Speedy had been the face of strength when Robin had been caught behind the computers. He was almost always there when another Titan needed him, his arrows saving more Titans and stopping more villains than they would ever know. After Pantha's death, he had thrown himself into it all even more. Sometimes being too reckless, but it had paid off in lives and arrests. Raven just hoped being home would calm his temper. Bumblebee had done much as Cyborg had, helping people through the rough days and keeping spirits and morale high. They had been four of the most popular Titans during these last months. And now they had finally come home.

"Rae!"

Raven found herself drawn up into a hard, cybernetic hug. She squeezed back, not caring that he probably couldn't even feel it, not caring that a few tears may have slipped out. She had missed her big brother, more than she could ever say.

"It's good to have you back." Raven mumbled, knowing that he would hear her. He always heard her when it mattered.

"Good to be back. How have you been? How's the leg?" Cyborg asked her, ducking his head down to shield her from the noise of the crowd around them.

"Sore, sometimes."

"But you recovered from Mallah? I would have been there if I could, but I was trying to find Speedy…I should have-"

She smiled, effectively shutting him up. "I'm fine, Cy. Star was there, Wildebeest was there. It all turned out okay."

"You scared us." He told her, his eyes gentle.

Raven smiled, "I'm sorry."

"Don't be!" He hugged her again, "We're back! And look at you! Look at your hair!"

She tugged at it when he put her down again, "Just wait until you see Star's."

"Raven!" Robin had managed to make his way over to them. He was getting slapped on the back and his hands shaken by everyone and anyone within reach. Cyborg pulled both of them up into a hug and Raven squeezed the Boy Wonder's hand.

"It's good to see you." Robin said, his smile wide and honest.

"And you." Raven leaned over to kiss him on the cheek, doing the same to a shocked Cyborg. "I missed you both."

"We missed you too." Robin said. His face swung around to the sides, "Um, have you seen-"

"Robin?"

The area around them fell quiet as Cyborg put Robin down in front of the alien princess. He and Raven took a few steps back, the robot's arm lying heavily on Raven's shoulders as they watched the tension unfold in front of them.

Starfire never held back her emotions before, so Raven was floored when she didn't immediately go to hug Robin. Her green eyes were huge as she stared at him and even through Robin's glasses, everyone knew he had eyes for no one but Starfire.

"It is…good to see you, friend Robin. I am happy that you are unharmed." Starfire said, her calm voice belying her hair that was…_vibrating_?

Robin swallowed audibly, "You too. You look…great. And your hair is…"

"Gorgeous." Speedy whispered loudly, causing titters from the previously silent crowd.

Robin glared at his friend, "Thanks." He glanced back to Star, "But yes. Gorgeous."

"Thank you." Starfire said. She seemed to be waiting for something. Raven wasn't certain what it was. And apparently, neither was Robin.

"Um. I…" He was aware of the crowd, but he controlled the urge to look at all of them. It was almost completely silent, every eye on the two Titans in the center of the room. "I missed you."

Raven felt like she was watching a tennis match as her eyes, along with everyone else's in the room, swung to face Starfire and waiting for her response.

She smiled brightly, "I have missed you as well. It is good that you are here."

Back to Robin. "Thanks. Um…"

Even Raven knew that that wasn't what Starfire was looking for.

Robin tried to recover as Starfire's face fell, ever so slightly. "Listen, do you want to go somewhere else to talk?"

Starfire glanced at Raven, green eyes determined and the empath remembered just what Starfire had said this morning. _"You think I need to make my feelings for Robin more obvious?"_

Oh Azar.

Raven had just enough to cover her mouth with both hands, to keep the hysterical giggle from escaping. Cyborg glanced down at her as she shook, "Rae?" He whispered. "You all right?"

Starfire distracted him, "I do not wish to talk at this moment, Robin."

She flew towards the surprised Boy Wonder and took his face in her hands. "I wish to do this, instead." Starfire said quietly.

It was silent as Starfire kissed Robin in front of everyone in the room, not a single speck of shame or embarrassment on either one of them. Robin was shocked at first, but he recovered within a reasonable amount of time, wrapping his arms around the alien and dipping her backwards. That classic dip-and-kiss, reminiscent of the WWII photograph, brought the onlookers back to their senses and created even more cheers than the Titans' arrival.

Cyborg's jaw dropped and Raven's laughter slipped out. About time.

"Did you know?" Cyborg asked her.

Raven shook her head, "I realized about two seconds before it was about to happen." She laughed again.

Robin and Starfire still hadn't come up for air and they were still being cheered on, especially by Speedy.

"Way to go, Star!"

"Go get him, girl!" Bumblebee cheered.

"No!" Mas and Menos wailed together.

Somehow, impossibly, Raven heard the door open again. The outside light fell across the couple, who still didn't realize. Or didn't care.

She glanced over her shoulder, wondering who else could possibly be joining the party. She froze as he stepped over the threshold.

His voice drew attention even if his entrance didn't.

"Dude." Beast Boy said, staring at Robin and Starfire. "What did I miss?"

"Beast Boy!" Cyborg yelled in amazement.

That broke the couple apart, Robin and Starfire's heads snapping up. They flushed in unison as they realized how many eyes had been upon them. But neither one of them backed down; Robin took Starfire's hand in his and didn't let go, even as they walked towards Beast Boy. Raven subtly moved away from them, trying to lose herself in the crowd.

"Look at you!" Cyborg yelled, having run over and pulled him into a hug. "When the heck did you grow up?"

Beast Boy shrugged, "Somewhere between Taiwan and Australia, I think." He grinned at the robot, "Good to see you, Cy." His voice was deeper now, Raven noted. More confident.

"Geez, Beast Boy." Robin said, shaking his hand heartily and looking up to the changling for the first time in his life. "I never thought you'd be taller than me."

"If it helps, neither did I." He ran a hand through his hair, shaggy and unkempt, but looking good all the same. He had filled out in muscle, losing what little fat he had before. Months of hard living and hard to come by food had toned his body in a way training couldn't. He'd never be as big as Cyborg, in neither muscle nor height, but he probably could beat Robin in a feat of strength. And the way he moved now…he was like a jungle cat. Every movement was smooth and calculated, belying the power that seemed to be ready to break free at any moment. Even in jeans and a simple t-shirt, he looked ready for a fight. He truly was a lean, green fighting machine.

"Star!" Beast Boy's eyes were wide, calling to mind his childlike attitude before the Brotherhood. "Your hair is fantastic!"

"Thank you, friend." She swooped him up in a hug, but quickly returned to Robin's side. "You look well. Your shoulder has healed nicely, I see."

"Eh." He smiled, the familiar fang poking out of the face that Raven didn't find so familiar anymore. "Still sore and I've got one hell of a scar. But, could have been worse."

"It's good to have you back." Robin told him, never sounding more heartfelt.

"Good to be back, Rob."

Cyborg looked around, clearly searching for someone. Raven slipped behind Thunder, knowing who he was looking for. Still, her chest clenched in what she wouldn't admit was fear when Cyborg loudly asked, "Hey, anyone seen Ra-"

"Beast Boy!" Aqualad said loudly, drowning out Cyborg's voice, "It's good to see you."

With Aqualad's greeting, the rest of the Titans broke free and welcomed Beast Boy much as they had Robin. No one had forgotten who had led the first charge after Robin had been taken. Beast Boy had stepped up and his list of imprisonments was as long, if not longer than Speedy's. He was a legend and he deserved it.

Raven used the distraction to slip through the crowd, trying to make it to the door before anyone saw her. A cool hand landed on her shoulder and she flinched, expecting the worst when she looked up.

Aqualad looked back at her, "Going somewhere?"

"Is that your business?" She asked him quietly.

"I know you didn't want to speak to him here. Which is why I stepped in when I did." Aqualad said gently, talking over her when she was ready to interrupt, "But please, tell me you'll talk to him at some point. Whatever happened, you two need to fix it."

"Is my private life known to everyone? Since when did…he and I become the stuff of gossip?" She hissed.

"Since two of the most famous Titans stopped speaking. Now that Robin and Starfire are together, we won't have anything to talk about but you two." Aqualad told her, his mouth smiling even if his eyes were concerned.

"I can't…I'm not ready to talk to him." Raven said quietly, desperation making her honest.

"Fine. Run off. But this Tower is only so big. You can't hide from him forever." Aqualad told her, letting go of her shoulder.

"Thank you." Raven said. Aqualad shook his head, looking away as she continued on her way out.

Finally, she reached the door. Safety. She couldn't help but glance back at the entrance, where she could hear his voice through the greetings and laughter. She went cold as Lightning shifted and she could see his face clearly. He was genuine in his thanks and hellos, but he was looking around the room between people. Raven was just about to leave when Beast Boy looked right at her.

Jade eyes seemed to stare through her. He asked a silent question and she could feel his confusion and hurt, even through the joy and happiness of the crowd between them. Raven swallowed hard and shook her head, not entirely sure what she was saying no to. His hurt stuck like a knife in her chest and Raven looked away, slipping out through the door and away from…from everything.


	4. Glossophobia

I do not own Teen Titans. This is written for fun. They belong to Warner Brothers and DC Comics. Don't sue.

Glossophobia. Fear of speaking in public.

Robin broke away after dinner, finally getting a chance to breathe. It wasn't that he didn't love his friends, but all the attention left him uncomfortable. He wasn't what they thought he was. He wasn't some big hero. He had only been doing his job, just like all the rest of them. But they wouldn't listen and he couldn't force them to change their mind. So far he had tried to deal with it gracefully, but that didn't mean he wasn't taking his first chance to slip away.

Starfire had leaned over to him during dinner, whispering quietly enough that even he had trouble hearing her. "Did you notice who is still missing?"

He had. Raven had disappeared just after their big welcome home and hadn't been seen since. And it wasn't just he and Star who had noticed. Cyborg looked worried, though anyone not familiar with him would find it difficult to guess – he looked completely at ease.

Easier to see through was Beast Boy, to Cy's right. The changling was all smiles and confidence when he was being spoken to, making those around him laugh at his stories. But when conversation turned away and left him alone, his eyes fell and his mouth turned down. He never began a conversation, only joined in when he was prompted.

Robin put his arm around Star, pulling her closer as he spoke in her ear. To anyone else, it would just look like the couple was getting cozy (not that it wasn't a perk), "Has she talked to you about anything? I've been stonewalled by Beast Boy every time I try."

"All I know is that it happened after Argent's death. That is when they stopped speaking." Starfire answered. Her eyes were filled with concern for her friends and Robin couldn't help but kiss her gently, trying to reassure her.

"We'll get this figured out, Star. I promise."

"How can I doubt that, when it is you who say it?" She responded, smiling.

It had been difficult for him to leave her after that, but he had a team to look after, both during fights and rest. Robin walked through the Tower, finding his way easily through the familiar layout. Aqualad had told him where Raven had been staying and Robin knew that she would still be there.

He had his theories about the falling out. Some more far-fetched than others. But still, he was Robin. Weaned on impossible men and improbable feats. He figured that, as difficult as it may seem, he could handle two silent teammates. He had to.

Robin knocked on Raven's temporary door, hearing someone within. When no one answered, he spoke up.

"It's Robin. Can we talk?" He asked, staring at the thick door. He hoped he wouldn't have to resort to force to open the door, but he would if he had to. This needed to get resolved.

The door slid open, revealing his friend and teammate. Looking at her, Robin wondered what had happened to the girl he had known. When had his team grown up? Raven had gotten taller – still shorter than him, thank god. He couldn't stand to be the shortest member. Still, he hoped she was finished growing, because her eyes were just about level with his nose.

Any hint of childhood had been stripped from her – she had curves, albeit not as dramatic as Starfire's, but then her frame was much lighter than the alien's. Her bulky sweatshirt and tattered jeans didn't hide her figure completely and only served to make her look tinier than she was. She barely seemed to stand on the ground, ready to dart away at any second – lithe, that was the word for her. Like a dancer. Her hair had gotten longer, too. Again, nowhere near comparing with Starfire's, but the purple-blue locks streamed over her shoulders in a careless tousle. Even her eyes were different. Not in color, of course, but in age. She seemed to have gotten even older than the time apart permitted.

She smiled, but it looked tense, "Hi."

"You missed dinner. I wanted to make sure you were okay." Robin said, noting that she hadn't stepped aside to allow him in.

She kept her hand on the door frame, "I wasn't hungry. Changing time zones and sleeping during the day…I think I'm still behind."

Reasonable excuse, even if it was a lie. He decided just to go for it, "Can I come in?"

Raven hesitated. Cyborg wouldn't have noticed, but Robin did. It was a split second where he thought she was going to tell him no. "Of course." Raven dropped her hand and moved out of his way.

Robin walked into her room, noting the still packed backpack, the sweatshirts poking out of it. She was ready to run if he gave her even the slightest excuse. So he wouldn't.

"How are you?" Robin asked.

She closed the door behind her, walking past him to sit on the bed. "Fine, I suppose. My leg still gets sore from time to time."

"Glad to hear that it's healing well. And your shoulder and chest? Your wrists? Collarbone and ribs?" Robin didn't hold back. She had to realize that he knew everything.

Raven's eyes widened and then she smiled slowly. Her voice was calm, if cool. "Of course. You would keep tabs on us, Boy Wonder."

"Only on those who seemed to be a threat to themselves. Only on those who wouldn't check in regularly and were running around without letting me know where." Robin told her, sitting on the empty desk. He didn't comment that usually only Beast Boy called him 'Boy Wonder' now.

"I was busy. And my injuries weren't important enough to bother-"

"You took four bullets and thought it wasn't important?" Robin's voice rose to interrupt her before he could reign in his temper. "Mammoth, who was never a target of yours, sends you through a glass window and you didn't call me? The second time you ran into him, Doctor Light threw you from a three story building and you never even let us know? I thought we were teammates, Raven."

"We are." She said quietly. "I recovered just fine. There were more important things to worry about at the time."

"No, Raven. There weren't." Robin took a breath, trying to remain calm. "The safety of the Titans is the most important thing."

"Exactly." Raven agreed. "When I called you to inform you I had been hospitalized, you sent Wildebeest and Starfire to me. While I was grateful, I knew that there were two fully capable Titans just standing around, to make sure I recovered. That's a waste of resources. So I kept silent and no one was hindered."

"Making sure a friend is okay isn't a hindrance." Robin told her. "Or do you mean to tell me that if Star or Cyborg or I were in a hospital, you wouldn't want to know?"

"Of course I would want to know. But you weren't. I kept tabs on all of you." She answered.

"So you knew about Beast Boy's skull fracture? Three broken ribs? Broken wrists? Fractured arm?" Robin watched her. She was a good liar now, but not good enough to throw him off.

Raven paled infinitesimally. Had he not been Robin, he might not have seen it. Anyone would have seen the way her hands shook the tiniest bit, "I…I didn't know."

"That's because he was thinking along the same lines as you. He didn't talk to anyone unless it was absolutely necessary. Now, do you still think that it was a good idea?" Robin asked.

Her chin hardened, "I'm not a child, Robin." Had she not been arguing with him, he would have found her confidence and self-assurance impressive and way overdue. "You think I did wrong, fine. I won't do it again."

Time for far-fetched theory number one: "Did Beast Boy threaten you?"

"What?" Raven jumped to her feet.

"You seemed like you were trying to get away from him this morning. Did he do something to make you afraid of-"

"No! No, of course not." Raven frowned. "How could you ask that?"

"Because you literally ran away from him this morning." Robin said. "What else am I supposed to think?"

She glared at him, "I'm not afraid of him. He's not threatened me or anyone else."

"So why did you run away from him?" He asked her.

Raven sat back down on the bed, her mouth a hard line. Robin decided to go with his more likely theory.

"I know what happened with Argent." Robin told her quietly.

Raven glanced up at him, the blood disappearing from her face as she stared at him with wide eyes.

"I created all the assignments; did you think I didn't realize what you must have thought?" Robin said.

"I…"

"It wasn't your fault." Robin said firmly.

Raven shook her head, "But it was. The night before I had been talking to…I overslept. And I was ten minutes too late."

"So you blame Bea-"

"No!" She was on her feet once more. Interesting how she only did that when she was defending the changling, Robin noted. "No, I don't blame anyone but myself. But I realized that I had been…distracted from the mission and I needed to make sure it never happened again. And it didn't."

"So you cut yourself off from your friends?" Robin asked her.

"I still spoke to Starfire and-"

He held up his hand, "Let me rephrase that. You cut yourself off from one friend. The only one you actually talked to."

Raven's gaze dropped. "Yes. It needed to be done."

"Raven, you aren't infallible." Robin told her gently. "Had you been there, they might have killed both you and Argent. Together, they were more than a match for you." He shook his head, "Had I known they were working together, I never would have sent Argent on her own. If anyone is to blame, it would be me. I sent her there."

Raven was silent for a moment. "It isn't your fault. And I know that no one blames me for Argent's death. However, I still feel responsible. And," She said a little louder as Robin moved to interrupt, "nothing you say will change my mind. It's something I must learn to live with."

Robin stared at his friend. "Will you talk to him now?"

"We'll be returning home. I doubt I can avoid it." Raven let her voice become a monotone, revealing nothing.

"He doesn't hate you or anything. He's just confused." He hesitated, "You two seemed to be getting a lot closer. Was anything-"

"Please." She said, "That is not something I wish to discuss. Not with you, and not with anyone else, so you can tell the others not to bother."

"We're worried about you. Both of you." Robin told her. "Whatever your issues, we want them resolved."

"Our 'issues'," she frowned, "won't cause any problems within the team."

"So you aren't going to talk to him?" Robin asked.

Raven looked away, "There isn't anything to talk about."

The admission of her injuries was more than Robin had been expecting. He was content to let sleeping dogs lie. For the moment. "Fine. I'm…I'm just glad we're all together again."

That brought a smile back to her face, "Me too."

"Been a long year, hasn't it?" Robin asked her.

Raven laughed quietly. "That's one way of putting it."

He didn't comment on how much more emotion she seemed to be showing. He had tried to get her to open up after Trigon's defeat, but he hadn't come even close to how open she was now. He suspected he knew who had broken her out of her shell, but he didn't bring up the name.

"I've got a big announcement to make, will you come out and hear it?" Robin asked.

Raven arched a brow, "You and Starfire are engaged already?"

He choked a little, "Wha-? No, no. No-no-no-no."

She smirked at his discomfort.

"Just…come on out, okay?" Robin asked. When she looked ready to refuse, he continued, "You can hide in the back, if you'd like. I won't call you out."

Raven sighed, "I don't have much of an option, do I?"

"Not really."

"Then I'd be delighted to join you." Raven deadpanned.

They walked in silence back to the main hall. Raven broke away from him as soon as they entered the doors, staying by the exit as Robin went back to the long table. Starfire smiled at him, a heart-stopping, beautiful, smile. He'd never been much of a romantic, but he could make an exception. She'd always been the exception.

She squeezed his hand as he stood next to her and Robin did his best not to wince. She was still so much damn stronger than him. Good thing he liked that in a girl.

"Ever since the Brotherhood fell, we've been split up across the globe." The Titans fell quiet as Robin began speaking. "Not seeing home or each other in almost a year. I know it's been difficult. I know that we've all had a hard time, especially when we lost friends who were close to us. Pantha, Hotspot and Argent were great examples of what it was to be a Titan. They were courageous, unfaltering and truly good people. We won't forget what they sacrificed to keep this world safe."

"There will always be villains in the world." Robin said, not letting himself waver. He hated speaking publically like this, but he was getting used to it. "Evil won't ever rest. There will always be someplace for us to keep fighting. Always someone breaking out. Always someone who needs to be stopped. As long as there's evil, there will be Titans ready to stand against it. However, every fight has its end. And I think, as most of you do, that it's time to go home."

That was met by deafening cheers. Robin continued speaking as the cheers died down a bit, though not entirely. Over the excited voices, he told them, "All Titans are being called home to their Towers. Which means we can return to ours. There are a few loose ends to clean up, but they will be on a volunteer basis only. I know that most of you are more than ready to go home. So am I." Robin glanced at Star quickly and smiled before looking back to the crowd.

"A few villains are on the loose near here. I need a few volunteers to go after Doctor Light, just north of Steel City in-"

"I'll go." The two unison voices caused a stir of whispers in the crowd of Titans.

Robin didn't let his surprise spread across his face as he looked at Beast Boy and Raven in turn. Both of them had been quite outspoken to volunteer, but when they realized who else had, they fell silent. The changling looked annoyed, the empath flushed and looking at her feet.

"Great, Beast Boy and Raven will go after Light. I'll speak with you after this. I also need a volunteer for someone to go after Control Freak. He was spotted popping out of New York City's jumbo-tron and Cyborg has coded the circuits in that area to keep him from making another jump back in."

Robin found a few more volunteers for the last villains they needed to round up. His eyes kept going back to his teammates, both of them looking like they wanted to run, yet staying put. Maybe this was the catalyst those two needed to get back on speaking terms.

Announcements finished, Robin let the crowd start filtering out before asking Beast Boy and Raven over.

They obeyed, both of them studiously ignoring the other.

Robin didn't let anything show through on his face. He had to give them their assignment. "Thanks for volunteering, guys."

"On second thought," Beast Boy said, "I could go after Control Freak. I've taken him down once. And Light doesn't really need more than one person."

Raven didn't look at him, but kept staring at some point over Robin's shoulder.

"I need you both on this. Doctor Light has evaded capture seven times since the fall of the Brotherhood. Raven went up against him twice, Star once, Cyborg three times and Speedy once. He's still free. There's something different about him. He's…"

"Unbalanced."Raven said quietly. "He's confidant. Doesn't care what he has to do to get away. Doesn't show mercy." Her fingers drifted up to her collarbone and Robin got concerned.

Doctor Light had been a pushover before. Not much of a threat. But he had seen that Light had done to Raven. Cameras outside the hospital revealed what she looked like going inside. And it wasn't pretty. He had only succeeded in breaking her collarbone and ribs. But her face had been a massive bruise and he had nearly dislocated her arm. He had been really worried about her. Never before had Light gone up against a Titan and come away so victorious. And he had done it seven times now.

"I need both of you on this." Robin said, looking at them each. "Can you handle this?"

"Of course." Raven answered, still not meeting his eye.

Beast Boy scoffed, "It's Doctor Light. We'll be in and out in a day."

"I hope so." He handed Raven an envelope. "Here's some money and the name of a hotel. I've already reserved a room for you. They're booked up for the holidays, so you'll have to make do with what I've got. Please," Robin caught their eyes, "stay in touch. There's something different about Light now. I don't want you to be caught unaware because you refuse to pick up your communicators. If something happens to either of you, let me know." Raven had the grace to flush a little. "You should head out in the morning. Faster you leave, faster you can back. Faster we've got our family together again."

Beast Boy's smile was only a little tight. "No worries, bird-boy. We'll be back home before you know it."

Raven nodded.

Robin wanted to say something more. To try and impress upon them the bad feeling he got from Doctor Light. He wasn't Batman's protégée just because of his athleticism. He worked off his instincts and right now, they were telling him that something was very, very wrong with Light. But the duo in front of him wasn't stupid. They wouldn't do anything rash.

He said goodnight and watched them leave, neither one speaking to the other. Never even looking at one another. The two people he never would've expected such obstinacy from. The two that had caused him more worry and heartache than any of the other active Titans. The two who couldn't reconcile their differences because of a skewed sense of responsibility.

_God_, he thought, _please don't let them do anything rash…_


	5. Athazagoraphobia

I don't own Teen Titans. I wish I did. I would trade most everything I owned to own them. But for now, I'll just have to make do. Birthday present, anyone? Pretty please?

Athazagoraphobia. Fear of being forgotton or ignored.

_Don't do it_. Beast Boy chanted to himself. He was walking out of the main room, just behind Raven. She was doing her best not to take off running, though only a fool would see that she was somewhere between speed-walking and jogging. _Come on, hold on to your dignity. Don't do it, don't do it, don't do-_

"Raven!" He called out.

_Damn me._

She froze in place, not turning to face him but moving her head to the side, acknowledging his presence without saying anything.

Beast Boy stared at her profile as he caught up to her. What the hell was he going to say? _What's up? How have you been? What the hell did I do to make you start ignoring me like the goddamn plague?_

"Hey."

_Ohh, well done. Very impressive. _Shut up, stupid inner voice.

She quietly said, "Hello." And then started walking again.

"How are you?" He asked.

She slowed down. No longer jogging. Barely even speed walking. With his longer legs, Beast Boy fell into stride beside her, not actually looking at her. She was acting like she was afraid of him, afraid of talking to him or looking at him. Hell, she had taken off this morning like he was going to attack her. And that bothered Beast Boy. A lot.

"Fine. And you?" She responded, politely. As if they were acquaintances and nothing more.

"Fine." He gave in and looked at her. She seemed so different. Like someone he didn't even know. It had been eight months since he'd last spoken with her. Maybe he didn't. It was worth a shot to find out, "Listen, Rae-"

"What time did you want to leave tomorrow?" She interrupted, her voice calm.

Beast Boy held back a sigh. So that's the way she wanted it? Back to teammates and comrades, but at an arm's length? Fine. He could give her that. "Does six work for you?"

"Perfect." She veered off into another hallway, not even looking at him as she said over her shoulder. "See you at six."

"Yeah." Beast Boy watched her disappear into a room at the end of the hallway. "Well done, Beast Boy."

"Yeah, way to go."

He jumped, not having expected Cyborg's voice from behind him. He shouldn't have been surprised. The Tower was large, sure. But there were too many Titans in it to get more than a moment alone.

He turned to face his robotic friend. "You heard all that?"

Cyborg smiled, "All what?"

"Whatever." Beast Boy was ready to leave in much the same fashion as Raven, but Cyborg put a heavy hand on his shoulder. "Come on, grass stain. Let's go talk."

"Fantastic." The changling muttered. He just wanted some answers. And sleep. Not necessarily in that order. He didn't need or want the big heart to heart. "Listen, Cy, I'm exhausted. Can we do this another time?"

"No time like the present, B. Besides, you'll be gone tomorrow."

They walked up to the roof, the only place that wasn't crammed full of Titans. The sun had set, making it difficult to see much. Still, they had to go to the far edge – Aqualad and Herald had taken over the volleyball court, which was lit up by lights along the periphery. Cyborg sat down, letting his legs hang over the edge with a groan. Beast Boy copied him, his muscles sore from his flight.

"How've you been, B?" Cyborg asked. "Long time no…anything."

He felt the tiniest niggle of guilt start at the back of his mind. "Been busy. You know, kicking butt, taking names. That sort of thing."

"So has everyone else. But they would still check in with me or Rob." Cyborg glanced down at him. "You had us all worried."

"Dude, I'm fine." He grinned and held his hands out, "Clearly, I'm better than fine."

"Yeah, guess the rest of you finally grew up to match that big mouth of yours." Cyborg smiled.

Beast Boy smirked, stretching out his arms. They ached, but not painfully. He'd be up to flying tomorrow.

"So," Cyborg said, the smile fading, "what the hell happened with you two?"

Beast Boy's grin disappeared and he looked up at the cyborg with a scowl. "Don't know what you're talking about."

"Yeah, so I didn't see Raven tearing away from you just now? Didn't hear how awkward you two sounded? I mean, you were never cozy before, but you could at least look each other in the eye."

"What the hell is up with everyone?" Beast Boy exclaimed. "First Star, now you, even Aqualad tried to talk to me about her earlier today. Raven and I were never close. Never have been, never will be. So why does everyone keep making such a big deal out of it?"

Cyborg stared at him, his human eye boring right into the changling. "I might not have seen you in a year, but don't think I still can't tell when you're lying."

He stood up with a growl, "Dude. This isn't a problem. Raven's always been a cold fish to everybody."

"Another lie."

"Just fucking drop it, okay?"

Beast Boy stalked away, feeling Cyborg's eyes on his back. He cast Aqualad and Herald a glare as they stared at him in shock, too. He wouldn't feel bad for his language or his temper. People needed to stop pushing him and badgering him about things that weren't his fault. He had just reached the stairwell when he saw Robin and Starfire coming up it.

"Beast Boy!" Starfire smiled, "We were just searching for you. We wanted to talk to you about-"

With a strangled yell, Beast Boy threw up his hands, turned back around and headed towards the edge of the Tower. He stripped off his shirt just before the edge; it had been hard to break his habits, as normal clothes didn't shift like his old uniform did. Ignoring Starfire's shriek and Robin's yell, Beast Boy stepped off the roof.

A green barn owl swept up into the sky, jeans and shoes falling discarded into the ocean below. He'd regret that later – they were the last items of clothing he had. Right now, he just wanted to be far, far away from anyone who wanted to talk to him. Silently, Beast Boy glided over Steel City, not perching on a roof until he was a good six miles away from the Tower.

He shifted along the roof, his eyes looking into the darkness with the keen precision that only a nocturnal animal like him possessed. He lifted off the roof, gliding noiselessly through the streets. He had escaped everyone else's words, but he couldn't run away from his own head.

Why did he care so much that Raven had so completely shut him out? It's not like it mattered, in the long run. Ignoring his calls was just like every time she had shut the door in his face at their Tower or had walked away from any sort of conversation. This was typical Raven. Why had he even been surprised?

_Because_, the traitorous part of his head that never let him take the easy way out spoke up, _it _wasn't_ typical Raven. Not anymore_. She had confided in him that she was afraid. Afraid! _Raven_! She had laughed at his jokes, she had even told him some back. She listened to all of his stupid ramblings and remembered them weeks later. She had listened to him like what he said mattered, even if it really didn't.

And when she had disappeared, he felt like he had lost his best friend. Which, Beast Boy would only silently admit, he had. Sure, he could talk to Cy and Starfire and they'd listen. But he'd never told them about the hospitals, or his parents' deaths, or his adoption, or the years in between the Doom Patrol and the Titans. He had told all that to Raven. Who in turn had shared things he hadn't know about her.

_"I had met my father once before. Before what happened in Jump City." Raven said._

_ Beast Boy was hanging out in one of the redwood trees in the Redwood National and State Park. Red X had come through this area, but there was no way he was taking on the vigilante in the dark. Especially since his shoulder was still weak. "How'd that go?"_

_ "Poorly. It was right after Azar's death." Raven told him. "I'd been having…dreams of my father. So, against my teacher's wishes, I sought him out."_

_ "Geez." Beast Boy was concerned, even though the event happened years ago. "Weren't you scared? He's like…Satan."_

_ "I was terrified." She admitted. "Because of him, I was nearly cast out of Azarath as an infant. But the dreams wouldn't stop. So I went to see him."_

_ "And?" He knew that nothing had happened, but he was disturbed all the same._

_ Raven shrugged. "He let me return to Azarath unharmed. He told me he knew that his ascension through me on my 16__th__ birthday was unstoppable. That there was nothing I could do to change that fact. That I would destroy the world. He had more to gain by leaving me alive."_

_ "We proved that wrong." Beast Boy said. "Well…I mean…" He scratched his head, "You did. We just held him off until you could get around to it."_

_ "You all did the important parts." Raven argued. "I just came in at the end."_

_ "And was awesome." He added._

_ She looked away from the communicator for a minute, a tiny smile on her face. Beast Boy noticed that when she got embarrassed or flustered, she'd just avert her eyes and continue on like nothing had happened._

_ "All thanks to you. All of you." Raven told him._

_ Beast Boy smirked, "Rob was the one who climbed into Hell. We just played around for a bit topside with the demons and nega-us."_

_ She frowned, "The what?"_

_ "Nega-us. In video games, where you fight yourself, it's called the nega-you. Or whatever your character's name is. So I fought Nega-Beast Boy, Cyborg and Nega-Cyborg. Star and-"_

_ "Nega-Starfire. Yes, I've got it." Raven interrupted. "It was still very brave."_

_ "Why'd you leave Azarath?" Beast Boy asked after a minute._

_ "I was fourteen and I felt my father's powers returning. I knew that if I stayed, I could be trapped and contained until my sixteenth birthday. The idea of spending two years with my father and his minions and then destroying the universe didn't appeal to me. So I ran."_

_ "At fourteen. That must have been rough."_

_ She shrugged, "After Azar died, there wasn't much left for me."_

_ "What about your mother?" He asked._

_ "Arella and I…didn't have the usual mother-daughter relationship." Raven said quietly. "I had to control my emotions. That made displays of affection inappropriate. And I think…" She broke off for a moment. "I think she hated me, a little."_

_ He sat up on the branch, "I don't think your mother-"_

_ "I was the product of a rape, Beast Boy." Raven's voice was calm. "She tried to kill herself, rather than have me. Do you think there was ever a time that she looked at me and didn't remember what had been done to her?"_

_ Beast Boy didn't know what to say to that and Raven didn't allow him a chance to think of anything._

_ "She knew I was going to destroy the world, one day." Raven said, no longer looking at the communicator. "It might be unwillingly, but she knew it would happen. How could she care for a daughter who would grow up to do that?"_

_ "Because you didn't." Beast Boy argued. "Yeah, it came close, but when the time came for you to fight, you did. You saved the world, you didn't destroy it. You saved all the worlds."_

_ "Nonetheless," Raven said, "my mother did not want to get to know me. And now she never will."_

_ "Is she…?"_

_ "Dead?" Raven nodded. "I think so. Azarath was destroyed when I returned there a few years ago. Arella was nowhere to be found."_

_ "I'm sorry." Beast Boy said._

_ Raven forced a small smile, "Don't be. It was a long time ago."_

_ "Time doesn't really make it better. Just makes it a little easier to deal with."_

_ She nodded, clearly remembering their talks about Beast Boy's parents. "Thank you, for listening. I don't think I've spoken about that before."_

_ Glad to have an excuse to lighten the mood, Beast Boy smiled and tugged his ears, "For you, Rae, I'm all ears."_

_ She smiled, more naturally, "I appreciate it."_

_ "Any time."_

_ Raven looked through the communicator at him, "You know, you've changed. You aren't the same Beast Boy from the Tower."_

_ "I think they call it maturing. Supposedly I'll become a fully fledged human with responsibilities and morals and emotions and stuff." He shrugged. "I'll believe it when I see it."_

_ She smiled, but disagreed, "No, it's more than that. You're-"_

"Give me the purse, lady!"

Beast Boy snapped out of his musings and swiveled his head around to find the voice. He swooped around a corner, clinging to a fire escape above four thugs, three armed with knives and one with a gun. They had surrounded a young couple, coming home from whatever young couples do.

"Give me the purse!" One of the thugs grabbed at it and the woman quickly let it go. Another thug grabbed her wrist and pulled her, screaming, towards the other men.

"Gerald, Timmy, search her for anything else of value. Owen and I'll handle the boyfriend." The guy with the gun, clearly the leader, stepped forward.

"Listen," the boyfriend began, "take whatever you want, I've got money, credit cards, car keys, just please leave her alone."

The leader bared his teeth, "You'll get your lady back, when we've taken what we want."

The girlfriend whimpered, but didn't scream again. Beast Boy was impressed by the boyfriend's courage in speaking up. Good thing he wasn't alone.

A green tiger dropped among the thugs, sending Gerald and Owen scattering. The leader aimed at Beast Boy and fired his gun, but the tiger had already leapt out of the way.

_Missed,_ Beast Boy thought as he growled and snapped his impressive jaws around Timmy's leg. He screamed and stabbed widely at Beast Boy. Because of the awkward angle, none of the cuts did any real damage, just tiny scarlet lines.

Beast Boy shook Timmy, hearing something crack, and then dumped him on the ground. He jumped as the leader fired two more shots, missing both times. Spring-boarding off the alley wall, he caught the gunman's wrist in his jaws, not biting hard enough to draw a single drop of blood, but keeping the guy from aiming at anything but the floor.

"Let me go, you freak!" He screamed in Beast Boy's ear.

_Well, that was impolite_. Beast Boy shook the leader until he screamed in pain. And then he dropped him, making sure to place on massive paw on the gun. He glanced at the couple, who were already calling 911. Smart couple.

Beast Boy waited until the authorities showed up. Some of the younger guys aimed their weapons at him, but he knew better than to take it personally.

"Relax, boys. This is one of the Titans. Beast Boy." The officer in charge nodded at the tiger. "Good to have you back in business. Been pretty busy without you."

Beast Boy nodded his massive head and transformed into an unassuming kitten. That made the officers relaxed enough to aim their guns at the thugs rather than him.

"Take these idiots in." The older officer said.

Beast Boy slipped away while they were cuffing the thugs and taking the couple's statements. His job wasn't done yet. A green bloodhound started down the streets, following the smell of fear and alcohol. Big surprise – they were drunk. Just made it all easier.

When a gorilla busted into the apartment, Owen and Gerald were too panicked to do much more than wet themselves. The same officer from the street greeted Beast Boy as he dragged the other two in. The couple was still there, and identified the last two immediately. His job done, Beast Boy disappeared before the officers could talk to him more.

Upon his return to the Tower, he wasn't so lucky. Someone had been kind enough to leave a clean pair of pants and a shirt on the roof, so Beast Boy pulled those on. He snuck down into the common room, hoping that he was late enough that everyone was already in be-

"Beast Boy."

_Dammit_. He stopped and looked around, finding Robin sitting in front of the monitors. He crossed his arms and gave him a smile, "What's up?"

"What's up?" Robin asked him, getting to his feet. "That's all you have to say? After swearing at Cyborg and disappearing when Starfire was trying to talk to you? After taking on 4 jerks in the alley, one who had a _gun_?"

"I took care of it." Beast Boy told him. "No harm, no foul."

"You never even called for backup!" Robin shouted. "You had a dozens of Titans within range and you never even tried to give us a call!"

"There wasn't any time. Besides, I'm fine."

Robin stalked over to him, jabbing his finger beneath a blossoming red stain. "So this blood isn't coming from you?"

Beast Boy didn't wince or pull away. "It's a scratch."

"It's a knife wound."

"Potato, tomato." He knocked Robin's hand away. "I'm fine, Rob. So's the couple. The thugs were all mostly unharmed and now they're in jail. I'd say it was a good night's work." Beast Boy said.

"You're turning into a vigilante." Robin said. "You're acting like…"

"Like who? The big guy in Gotham?" Beast Boy chuckled, "Come on, I'm nowhere near as bad as him."

"He goes off alone. Doesn't call for backup. Doesn't check in when he says he will. Doesn't tell someone when he's hurt. Doesn't talk unless he absolutely has to." Robin said coolly. "I left Gotham because I didn't want to become that. Because it's not enough. I'm not going to sit around and watch you and- watch you turn into that."

Beast Boy stared at the Boy Wonder. "I'm not a vigilante. I'm not gonna turn into him. So you've got nothing to worry about."

"I'll believe it when I see it." He turned around and headed towards the door, muttering, "I swear, between you and Raven I'm going to-"

"Raven." Beast Boy scoffed. "She seemed pretty obedient this morning." Easy to hide his silent question behind mocking words.

Robin glanced at him, "Maybe. But keep an eye on her when you're going after Light." He headed out the door, his last words easy for the changling to catch, "You're not the only one stupid enough or stubborn enough to take on gunmen alone."


	6. Thantophobia

I don't own Teen Titans. Or much else, for that matter. An impressive collection of Teen Titans comics, yes. Not the Titans themselves. Pity, that.

Thantophobia. Fear of death or dying.

Raven checked the clock. 6:42. She sighed and reorganized her single bag of clothes, checking that the envelope with their money and reservations were in it. She made sure she had an elastic around her wrist and that her boots were correctly laced up. Their lunches sat on top of her backpack, where they wouldn't be squished. Then she looked at the communicator again.

6:43.

"Dammit," she swore, putting the backpack over her shoulder. "This is ridiculous."

Raven left her room, where she had been staying since her incredibly short conversation with Beast Boy. She hadn't wanted to blow him off, but the fact was she just couldn't deal with him right now.

She didn't know what had made her so open with Beast Boy when they had been traveling. Maybe because she had been lonely. Or because he wasn't actually there. Maybe-

-because he actually listened to her, for one. He hadn't made jokes, he hadn't teased her, he had listened and commented when it was appropriate. He had shown a surprising amount of insight. His opinion of her hadn't changed, despite what she had told him.

Why in the name of Azar had she told him so much?

_"Someone ran into me today and called you an owl."_

_ "What?" Raven glanced into the communicator, seeing Beast Boy smiling on the other end. His shirt was tattered, but he seemed to be in a really good mood._

_ "I said, someone came up to me today and called you an owl."_

_ Raven frowned, "What the hell?"_

_ "I don't know." Beast Boy said, "But they did."_

_ "Why would someone say that?" Raven said. She couldn't figure out if she was supposed to be offended or not. She liked owls, they were symbols of intelligence. There were worse things to be called, she supposed. But why-_

_ Oh. She glanced into the communicator, seeing a frustrated Beast Boy on the other end._

_ "You're too difficult for the simple jokes, aren't you?" Beast Boy crossed his arms._

_ "I was supposed to say, 'who', wasn't I?" Raven said dryly._

_ Beast Boy sighed and frowned, "Yeah."_

_ She chuckled at his annoyance._

_ "How come you do that, now?" Beast Boy asked suddenly._

_ Raven stared at him, still smiling. "Do what?"_

_ "Laugh. Smile. Be happy." He didn't sound annoyed, but her smile still faded in self-consciousness. "It's wonderful and I'm glad of it. Hell, I've spent the last 4 years trying to get you to do that."_

_ She shrugged, not looking at the screen. "I don't know. Just started happening."_

_ "No. It didn't 'just start'," Beast Boy said. "It didn't really start happening until after Trigon was gone."_

_ She glanced at him, questioning._

_ "Come on, it'd been my mission for years to make you smile. You think, when it started happening on its own, I wouldn't notice?" He grinned._

_ "I guess." Raven tugged at the collar of her sweatshirt. She was running dangerously low on uniforms and was trying to make them last. Besides, she got cold easily at night. She used the motion to hide that she didn't like this conversation. It made her uncomfortable._

_ "Why is that? Were your emotions like…released, or something?" he asked._

_ She shook her head, "Not entirely." She sighed, "It's complicated, Beast Boy."_

_ "Try me," He challenged._

_ She raised her chin. "I had to reign in my emotions when I was younger. If I got too out of control, my powers would become a force of their own. "_

_ "Like the night of Wicked Scary," he added in._

_ "That was just fear," Raven reminded him. "I denied my fear and it slipped out. Now, if I were to become angry…angrier than I'd ever been, I could have finished what Trigon started."_

_ "Wow." He didn't sound concerned or worried._

_ "I could have destroyed the universe," Raven reiterated._

_ "Yeah, I got it. And I assume if you got too happy, you'd still go all haywire. Right?"_

_ She nodded. "Basically. Too much of any emotion would have become a disaster."_

_ "So what changed?"_

_ "When Trigon was defeated, his connection to me was almost completely destroyed. Because of that-"_

_ "Wait," he interrupted, looking upset, "what do you mean 'almost' completely?"_

_ She looked at him steadily, "He's my father, Beast Boy. I'll never been completely free of him. He just can't reach me any longer."_

_ "He'd better not," Beast Boy growled, "otherwise we'll put him right back where he belongs."_

_ She was surprised that she found it honestly reassuring. "Anyway, because he was contained, he isn't able to influence my powers like he once was. When I lose control over my emotions, and it takes much more now for me to lose that control, the effects are much less disastrous."_

_ Beast Boy nodded slowly, "So…are you less powerful now?"_

_ She considered the question thoughtfully. "I don't think so. I am able to express myself more honestly and I don't have to be concerned about keeping so stoic. But it never affected the levels of my power."_

_ "Good," he said. "I'm just glad you can smile now. It's…"_

_ Raven smirked, "Out of character?"_

_ "No," Beast Boy smiled. "Refreshing. Encouraging. Pretty."_

_ She flushed, not knowing how to respond._

_ "So…if you had been able to smile and laugh before Trigon," Beast Boy asked, "was there ever a time that you would have laughed at one of my jokes?"_

_ Raven glanced at him; he looked hopeful. "Once or twice, I suppose."_

_ He fist pumped the air, "I knew it! Victory!"_

_ Raven shook her head, "You're crazy."_

_ "For youuu!" Beast Boy sung._

_ She couldn't help but laugh at him. "I think you need to see someone. You might have a head injury."_

_ He waved his hand, "Nah, they checked me out a few weeks and I was in tip-top-"_

_ Raven nearly dropped the communicator as something behind Beast Boy exploded. "What was that?"_

_ He got pale. "Police Station. Rae, I gotta go."_

_ "Be careful," she told him, worry making her quiet._

_ Beast Boy's smile was quick, but honest, "Always." The screen went dark._

_ She wouldn't admit that she was scared for him. She knew that Titans all over the world were in similar situations, but they all seemed so far away from her. Beast Boy, with his phone calls and his stupid jokes and his smiles, always seemed much closer, even if they were on opposite sides of the world._

_ Despite her exhaustion, Raven didn't go to sleep that night. She just kept watching the communicator, hoping it would go off. But as the hours ticked by, she realized that it would be almost six in the morning in Chicago. He would be sleeping, if he was smart. He looked just as worn down as her. She would just have to wait until tonight to hear if he-_

_ Bzzt. Bzzt._

_ She grabbed it, flipping it open, "Hello?"_

_ "Hey," Beast Boy smiled tiredly at her. He was coated in soot and bleeding from his shoulder. Even his hair looked singed._

_ "Are you okay?" Raven asked him._

_ He nodded, "Yeah. All taken care of. Only three casualties and they had been right next to the bomb when it went off. Fire department and I got everyone else out."_

_ "Good." Raven watched him give a jaw-cracking yawn. "You should get to sleep."_

_ "I'm gonna," he said, rubbing his eyes. "Just wanted to let you know that I was okay."_

_ She smiled, "I knew you would be able to handle it."_

_ "Still," he mumbled, almost falling asleep on his feet, "I know I'd be worried sick until I heard from you. Figured, you know, you might be concerned. A little."_

_ She wasn't even sure he'd remember the conversation when he woke up. "I was worried. Very much so."_

_ He smiled, "About me? Aw gee, Rae, I didn't know you cared."_

_ Raven shook her head, "Of course I care, you idiot."_

_ He yawned again, "Good. 'Cause I care about you, too."_

Raven shook her head clear of the memories, looking at her communicator. 6:48. Ridiculous. She stopped by the common room and glanced in. No sign of him. She sighed and went back into the hallway, tracking down Beast Boy's room.

She pounded on the door when she got there. "Beast Boy!"

There was no sound from within and Raven got annoyed, muttering, "What an irresponsible, lazy…Beast Boy!"

Feet stomped inside and the door was wrenched open, "What?" he demanded. A startled look crossed his face as he realized who it was. He didn't back down, but he neither did he say anything else.

Raven met him glare for glare, ignoring her discomfort that he was only half dressed. "You're late. It's almost 7."

He looked at his communicator and groaned. "Geez. Um, okay. Give me five minutes."

"Take all the time you need," she told him, already walking away. "We're already running late."

"Raven!" Beast Boy yelled from behind her.

She ignored him and continued to the roof. They wouldn't be taking any of the cars. Both of them were perfectly capable of flying. She would just carry whatever Beast Boy owned when he shape-shifted.

Raven stepped onto the roof, thrilled to see that the sky was a wonderful overcast grey. She loved these kinds of days. She had hoped that they would be leaving early enough to avoid everyone else. Unfortunately, Starfire wasn't 'everyone'.

"Glorious good morning to you, my friend," Starfire said, staring out over the ocean.

Raven didn't sigh or give any indication she was upset that Starfire was awake. "Same to you."

"Though the view from here is quite wonderful, I must admit that I miss our Tower and our view even more," Starfire said.

Raven put her backpack on the ground, "Me too."

Starfire finally turned to face her, her hair contained once more in elastics. "I wish that you and Beast Boy were not leaving us. Not when we've just found one another again."

"It won't be for long. Doctor Light might have been able to take on single Titans, but he won't stand up to two," Raven reassured the alien. She didn't know if Robin had informed Starfire of how badly Doctor Light had beaten her before, and she wasn't about to enlighten her. She worried too easily and the last thing Raven wanted was more concerned calls.

Starfire smiled. "I am glad to hear that."

She fell silent and Raven prayed that she wouldn't bring up Beast Boy. She didn't want to deal with more guilt than she already was.

The alien finally sighed and smiled, "I suppose there is no point in delaying." She crossed over to Raven and pulled the empath into a hug, "Good luck. And please return quickly and safely to our home."

Raven patted her on the back and told her, "We will."

A voice cleared behind them and the girls broke apart. Raven glanced at the changling, who wasn't carrying anything. He was barefoot and only wearing a shirt and sweatpants.

"Beast Boy, where are your clothes?" Starfire asked, smiling.

He waved his hand, "You know, some in Russia, some in Africa, some in Canada. Pretty sure some are about to wash up on shore."

Starfire frowned, "I'm sure if you were to ask Robin, he would supply you with-"

"I'm good," Beast Boy interrupted. "I'll scrounge around when we get there, find some more clothes."

"But, you must have some-" Starfire began.

Beast Boy rolled his eyes, clearly ready to argue. Not wanting an altercation between her teammates, Raven interrupted.

"Robin gave me a stipend," Raven said, drawing both of their eyes. "We'll take care of it when we get there. No need to wake anyone else."

Beast Boy stared at her, but Raven focused her attention on the alien. She smiled and Starfire visibly softened. "We'll be fine, Star. I promise."

Starfire nodded and moved to the changling. She hugged Beast Boy, but it was much shorter than the one she had given him yesterday. "Please take care, my friends. Come home quickly."

"Sure," Beast Boy said, backing away as soon as it was convenient. "It's Doctor Light, Star. It'll be fine."

"I am glad to hear it," Starfire said. "Good luck."

Raven and Beast Boy walked to the side of the Tower as Starfire headed towards the stairwell.

Beast Boy glanced at her at the corner of his eye, "Sorry I overslept."

"It's understandable. You flew from Canada just yesterday."

"And, um…thanks for, you know. With Star." He tugged his shirt over his head and tossed it on the ground.

Raven sighed and picked it up, shoving it in her pack. Beast Boy frowned and looked at her.

"I know you're going to try and find clothes once we're there, but I'd rather not take the risk." Raven said, not meeting his eyes.

He sounded like he was smiling as he said, "Sure, whatever." He shifted into a thrush – she wasn't quite certain which kind – and Raven grabbed his sweatpants, putting them in her backpack as well. She slipped the straps back over her shoulders and waved quickly to Starfire before lifting off the roof. Beast Boy took the lead and Raven didn't fight it. She was content with following him.

He was different, she noted. Harder around the edges. Even more so than he was after running into Psimon.

_Raven was startled when Beast Boy called her in the middle of the day. He usually timed it so he was called just after dark wherever she was. Concerned, she immediately went back into the warehouse she had been holing out in._

_ "Beast Boy, are you okay?" she immediately asked._

_ "No! No, I'm not okay!" he yelled._

_ Raven raised her brows at his tone and demeanor. She had never seen him so angry – he was pacing back and forth, eyes flashing and his teeth bared in a manner that was completely animalistic._

_ "What happened?" Raven asked him calmly, leaning against one of the walls._

_ "I ran into Psimon!" Beast Boy snapped._

_ She stared at him, "Alone?" He didn't look too injured – though the knuckles on his hands were bloody. Had he fought Psimon in human form?_

_ "Luckily, yes!" he yelled. "I cornered the bastard and wanted to know what the hell he was thinking when he killed Hotspot!"_

_ Raven waited quietly, knowing that Beast Boy wasn't looking for conversation._

_ "You want to know what he said?" he growled. "That he didn't even know the kid's name! He killed Hotspot and he never even knew his name!"_

_ Beast Boy slammed his fist into the nearest wall, "What the hell are we doing this for?"_

_ "Doing what? Being Titans?" Raven asked._

_ "Yes! The bad guys won't ever stop! They don't have any morals or limits because we're kids! They'll kill us off one by one just to get us out of the way until this whole world goes to hell!" he sighed, slumping against the wall._

_ "So, what?" Raven said, "You're questioning why we do what we do?"_

_ "Yes," he said quietly. "What the hell is the point if we're all just gonna be killed off by some faceless, pointless, lame-ass villain?"_

_ Raven sighed and stared at him. "Because we're the only ones who can take what they dish out and keep going."_

_ "You really believe that?"_

_ "Yes," Raven said. "I mean, Plasmus keeps waking up and Cinderblock keeps breaking out, but…if we didn't do what we do, innocent people would die. We give them a chance for a normal life."_

_ "And what about us?" Beast Boy asked. "We're just gonna keep dying off and more kids are gonna take our places until they get killed?"_

_ "Beast Boy…"_

_ "No, don't 'Beast Boy' me," he said without malice. "Any day, especially now, any one of us could die. You're telling me you're okay with that?"_

_ "No," Raven told him. "We risk death. I know it and I'm afraid for my friends. But are you telling me that you could sit at home, safe and sound in your normal house with your normal life, and watch people suffer on the news? Knowing you could do something to help and then just sit on the side and let them die?"_

_ Beast Boy stared at her, jade eyes surprised._

_ "We're the Titans, Beast Boy. We keep going when others give up. Because we can," Raven said._

_ "Geez, Rae," he finally said. "I didn't know that's how you really felt."_

_ She shrugged, "Well, I had to make peace with my death a long time ago. I still kept fighting."_

_ "How?"_

_ The simple question threw her. "I…" She gave it some more thought. "I don't know. I just…realized that I couldn't spend what little life I had waiting and dreading to die, not doing anything worthwhile. Otherwise, what's the point of living at all?"_

_ "That's…a simple way of looking at it," Beast Boy said, sounding surprised._

_ She shrugged, not sure how to answer._

_ "It doesn't make anything okay," Beast Boy said, "Though I guess it doesn't change what we do."_

_ "It won't ever be okay, Beast Boy. We've just got to make the best of what we've got."_

_ He smiled, still hurt and angry, but recovering. "You know, when we get back home, you and I are going to take a vacation."_

_ "A what?"_

_ "Va-ca-tion," he said slowly. "A break, from this crap. You're right and I'm happy to be a Titan, but I don't think just being a Titan is enough. We have to live and enjoy ourselves too, right?" She nodded, not entirely convinced and he continued, "We'll spend a whole weekend just doing whatever the hell we want."_

_ "Like what?" she asked, smiling in spite of herself._

_ "You said you wanted to go to the botanical gardens, right?" he asked her, "So we'll do that. And then we'll go to an amusement park and you'll ride your first real rollercoaster. And I'll teach you how to play GameStation," Beast Boy said._

_ "Sounds like a plan," she answered._

_ "Really?" He grinned when she nodded, "Good, 'cause I'll hold you to that. When we get back home, we're going to have the best weekend ever! You won't regret-"_

A chirp drew her attention and Raven blinked, seeing Beast Boy changing their heading just a bit. She followed suit, wondering if he was still the same boy, underneath all the anger he carried now.

They stopped for lunch in an orange grove. Raven put Beast Boy's sweatpants and shirt behind a group of trees and retreated back to give him privacy. He emerged a few seconds later, clothed.

They didn't have much in the way of food. A couple sandwiches, peanut butter and jelly, bottled water and a couple apples.

Beast Boy devoured his half before Raven had even finished her apple. She tossed him her sandwich silently.

He grabbed it and looked at her, "Not hungry?"

Raven shook her head, "It's all yours."

"God, what I wouldn't give for a steak right about now," he muttered as he finished off the second sandwich.

Raven glanced up in surprise.

He shrugged when he saw her gaze, "Food was scare. Especially food that would give me energy to fight. I had to make do."

"Didn't it bother you?"

"A little," he admitted. "At first, I would only eat meat in animal form. You know, as a wolf or something. Didn't feel so wrong that way."

"And now?"

Beast Boy shook his head. "I don't know. I don't go out of my way to eat meat, but if I've got the option…" He trailed off.

When Raven didn't answer, he asked, "Didn't you go hungry? Eat stuff you normally wouldn't?"

"Sometimes," she answered. "But I guess having a demon metabolism helps. I never ate much before."

"Demon metabolism?" Beast Boy stared. "Really?"

Raven rolled her eyes, "I don't know. I've just never been overly hungry."

He chuckled, "You're weird, Rae."

"Yeah, coming from the green changling."

Beast Boy grinned and Raven swore inwardly, _Azar damn me_. This wasn't the time for chatting. She was a Titan.

"Listen," Raven looked away, and returned her voice to a monotone, "Doctor Light isn't the same person he was before."

"No match for us, right?" he was still smiling.

Raven didn't return it. "He might be."

"Rob told me that you took him on a couple times and it didn't turn out so well," Beast Boy said, his smile fading.

Raven's hand flew up to her collarbone, "He told you?"

"Just that he got away." Beast Boy's eyes narrowed, "What do you think he told me?"

"Nothing."

"You know, you can tell me," Beast Boy said. "Whatever happened."

She stared at him in silence for a minute.

"We should get going. We want to get there before dark," Raven said, standing up.

Beast Boy gaped at her, clearly thrown off. Raven couldn't blame him; she was switching moods like a pregnant lady. Instead, she kept her face blank. She just had to make it through this mission with Beast Boy. Then, she would request another one and another one until her…whatever this was with Beast Boy had passed.

When he realized that the conversation was over, Beast Boy stood and brushed off his pants. "Whatever you say," he said blandly.

Silently, the two packed up and Raven took the clothes of the green thresh that flew off. She knew he didn't understand. But it was in everybody's greatest interest. Raven grabbed the backpack and threw it over her shoulder._ Doesn't matter_, she thought. _This is for the best_.


	7. Nomatophobia

I'm sorry for the delay in posting. School has started back up and my time is spent working for classes. Master's degrees are tricksy, tricksy things. I'm going to try and post once or twice a week. Don't be angry, I promise there's a huge confrontation coming up in the next chapter.

I don't own Teen Titans. Don't sue. I'm a college student, I'm friggin' lucky I can afford to pay for food.

Nomatophobia. Fear of names.

* * *

><p>24 hour Wal-Marts. God, he was thankful for them. Shirts and pants that fit, not to mention a pair of shoes that weren't so big that they fell off his feet. It felt pretty awesome to be dressed like a person again. He tugged the hoodie over his head, relishing in the chance to be warm.<p>

After lunch, the day had dragged by. He had stayed in the lead the whole time and Raven didn't say another word. He had replayed the conversation at lunch over and over in his head. For the life of him, he couldn't think of anything that he said that might have upset Raven. For a minute, he thought he had gotten his friend back.

They hadn't gotten in until after dark. Both of them, in a very short and curt conversation, had agreed to start looking for Doctor Light in the morning. Raven had handed him the money after they had checked into the hotel, along with his keycard to get into the room. She had stayed in the hotel while he went shopping. Luckily for him, the staff at Wal-Mart hadn't enforced the "Nor Shirt, No Shoes, No Service" rule. By the time anyone looked at him funny, he had found and paid for a pair.

He walked to the hotel slowly, not looking forward to sitting silently and awkwardly with Raven. Part of him hoped that a thug or a villain would jump out in front of him. He craved the distraction – even if it involved him being tossed around a little.

Beast Boy rolled his shoulders, trying to keep the muscles loose. He had flown a lot in the past couple days and he needed to keep his arms from tightening up. As it was, he was gonna be sore in the morning. Hmm, hot shower tonight and another in the morning would probably keep the muscles loose enough until he had a chance to stretch.

Too soon, he arrived at the hotel. He thought about camping out on the roof for the night, just to avoid the silence, but the lure of a warm bed and shower were too pleasing to miss. Besides, it was late, maybe Raven was already asleep.

He padded up the stairs, not feeling like taking the elevator despite the six flights; a far sight from his younger days where any sort of physical activity caused him to break down in hives. The room he shared with Raven was on the top floor and had windows that actually opened all the way. He appreciated that for when he craved a midnight flight or two. And any Titan worth his salt always had to have an escape route.

He tried to be as silent as possible, and he was doing pretty damn well if he said so himself. Still, as soon as the door opened up he heard the tell-tale sign of Raven's magic.

"I do so hope you're Beast Boy," Raven said from the direction of one of the beds, "otherwise, I'll take my frustration at being woken up out on you." Her voice was completely calm, if icy cold.

"It's me, Rae," Beast Boy said, not stupid enough to keep moving. He stayed in the doorway, plastic bags held at his waist.

"Oh." The sound vanished as Raven's magic did. "Sorry."

"It's okay," Beast Boy said, knowing that she wouldn't blow him away now. "I think I'd be more concerned if you didn't react like that. Mind if I flick on the light for a minute?"

"That's fine," Raven answered, "I think I could sleep through the Blitz right now."

"We both know that's a lie," Beast Boy smiled.

He couldn't tell whether or not she smiled back, but she didn't answer. Figuring he shouldn't pursue the joke, Beast Boy put his bags down next to the bed, "I'm gonna hop into the shower. Head to bed afterwards. Hopefully that won't bother you." He walked over to the bathroom and turned on the light, closing the door a bit so it wouldn't disturb her as much.

Raven blinked as the light went on. Her hair looked damp; she must have taken a shower before he got back. "It won't," she answered, "take your time." With that, she rolled over onto her side, facing the window and didn't say anything else.

Beast Boy pushed one of the chairs in front of the main door. Wouldn't keep a determined lawbreaker out for more than a couple of seconds, but it gave Beast Boy an extra couple of seconds to react.

He grabbed something out of the plastic bags and went into the bathroom, locking the door on that as well. Old habits and all that. When he had the opportunity, he took two showers a day. And it had been a while since he'd had the opportunity.

The bathroom was small, but Beast Boy was grateful for any bathroom. He'd spent too many days washing up as a fish in an ocean or a bird in a birdbath. It felt nice to get his actual form clean. He washed up quickly – again, too many weeks of barely having enough time to sleep, let alone shower.

Finishing up, he wrapped a towel around his waist and stood in front of the mirror. With the exception of when he was with Kole and Gnarrk, he hadn't been around a mirror in a while. He ignored the many scars and cuts on his torso, focusing instead on the unruly mop on top of his head. He hated when his hair got this long, but he hadn't had a chance to cut it. Beast Boy grabbed the scissors that he had bought and began trimming his hair back down to a manageable length.

_Raven laughed, "I think you need a shave."_

_ "What?" Beast Boy rubbed his chin. "Huh, I guess I do."_

_ "When did you start growing facial hair?" Raven asked aloud, though apparently not expecting an answer._

_ He shrugged, "I don't know. Couple months ago, I guess. Probably around the same time your hair started getting longer."_

_ She touched the ends that brushed her shoulders. "Yeah, I'm going to have to cut it soon."_

_ "You could leave it," Beast Boy said. "It looks nice long."_

_ She blushed, "Oh. Well, thanks. I'll think about it."_

Apparently she'd thought about it. Beast Boy couldn't help but think it had been partly his influence that she hadn't cut her hair. Probably a stupid and unfounded idea, but it was in his head already and was there to stay. That she cared enough about him and what he said to do something as simple as let her hair grow.

Why the hell was she acting this way? Beast Boy grabbed handfuls of hair on the back of his head, not caring if it came out choppy or shoddy. He just wanted it all up off his neck and away from his face.

As the green strands started gathering in the trashcan, Beast Boy tried not to meet his own eyes in the mirror. There was too much anger there now. He didn't like it.

Soon his hair was closely cut against his head. It was better now, even if it was a little uneven.

He threw on the new pair of sweatpants and walked back out into the bedroom. Raven was breathing quietly in her own bed. He couldn't tell if she was asleep or not, but he erred on the side of caution and didn't say anything as he got back into his bed.

It was cool between the sheets. The pillows were soft and the mattress was softer. He didn't like it. Too many weeks of sleeping on floors or in trees. There was no support for him on the bed. It didn't feel solid.

He rolled over onto his side, hoping that would help. It didn't. He returned to lying on his back and sighed. It was too quiet. The air conditioner wasn't running – no need during this time of year – and Raven's breathing was near-silent. Hr wasn't used to this sort of silence when he was sleeping. Stubbornly, he closed his eyes, telling himself he wouldn't open them until morning.

He only managed about an hour. But it wasn't entirely his fault. Mumbling from the other bed made him curious. He propped up on his elbow to look at Raven.

She was curled on her side, facing him. Both of her pillows were on the floor – he should have thought have that. Her hair hung over her face, but he could see that her brows were furrowed. Her mouth was moving and pausing, as if she was having a conversation with someone.

"S'impossible. Took care of her," Raven was saying. She was barely whispering; if he didn't have enhanced hearing, he probably wouldn't even have noticed.

Took care of who? Beast Boy wondered. What was impossible?

"Got who?" Raven asked quietly.

Beast Boy briefly considered waking her up, but he was honestly worried. He knew what he would do if he was roughly woken up – attack on instinct. And he figured Raven was probably just as on edge as him. He liked having his head attached to his body.

"A-and?" she whispered.

He was on edge, even though he had no idea what she was talking about. He'd rarely ever heard Raven with that amount of fear in her words. Trigon and Slade were pretty much the only things that could have incited that tone from her. Maybe she was dreaming about one of them.

Despite being tense and claiming to be a well trained, prepared hero, he jumped a foot when Raven sat straight up in her bed and yelled out, "Be-!" She slammed her hands down over her mouth and stared into the dark.

Beast Boy was at her side in a second, "Rae, are you okay?"

She glanced at him, her eyes not seeing him at all for a moment. That scared him. Despite whatever problems she had with him, he didn't think she could look at him and not know who he was. Her eyes flickered from his hair to his face and back again.

"Beast Boy," she said quietly.

"Yeah, it's me." He wanted to touch her shoulder, make sure she was okay, but he didn't know if that was the best option right now.

"You cut your hair."

He froze and stared at her. Her eyes were back to normal and she was looking _at_ him this time. Not through him.

"Yeah. That must have been one hell of a nightmare," he tried to bring the issue back.

She shook her head, standing up. "It's okay. It's over."

"Do you need me to get anything?"

"No, I'm just going to get some water." She walked over to the bathroom.

Beast Boy sat back down on the edge of his bed. "Do you wanna talk about it?"

She paused with her hand on the knob of the bathroom. For a hopeful moment, he thought she was going to say yes. "No. Thank you." She opened the door, casting some light over the bare bedroom before disappearing into it.

He watched her go, annoyed even in his concern. She could just talk to him. But no, she ran and lied and blew him off. Well, fine. He wasn't going to lose any more sleep over her.

He got back into bed, turning on his side away from her bed and closing his eyes. When the bathroom door opened a few minutes later, he didn't move. Breathing slowly, he kept still. However, it was difficult.

Especially when he heard a very quiet, "Beast Boy?"

How many times had he called her? How many times had he needed her, only to be left with a soundless communicator? How many times had he asked for her, only to be answered by silence? Yeah, he was being vindictive. Yeah, he wanted to answer. He was aware he was being hypocritical. He knew that his silence would hurt her just as much as hers had hurt him, over and over again.

But he couldn't bring himself to respond. He remained silent.

She didn't speak again as she turned off the light and returned to her bed. Both of them lay, not speaking, knowing that the other wasn't sleeping either. He didn't know if it was pride or fear that kept them from talking. He just knew that it was a long, long time before he fell asleep.

_"Psimon says…"_

_ Beast Boy panted, his hands on his knees. He was really starting to hate that line. Never gonna play that game again at this rate. He had been fighting Psimon for the past twenty minutes and had yet to touch the jerk. He kept fighting and dodging illusions and anytime he got close to Psimon, he used his telekinesis to move the floor, or slam the ceiling down on the ground, or throw Beast Boy a hundred feet up in the air. He couldn't lay fangs or claw on the guy._

_ "Do you really think you could come after me on your own?"_

_ Beast Boy flinched – he hated being beaten up, but he hated Psimon's voice in his head even more._

_ "Your companion…the fiery one-"_

_ "Hotspot," Beast Boy spat out._

_ Psimon's voice sounded smug, "Yes. Him. He was much more of a fight. I barely break a sweat with you, little changling."_

_ Beast Boy snarled, shifting mid-jump into a wolf. He could smell Psimon, even if the man had used his powers to hide himself._

_ "Smell. Ah, of course," Psimon whispered through his mind._

_ Suddenly the room was filled with all sorts of smells – Psimon had used his powers to bring in all sorts of pungent things from the outside: trash, splitting the sewer drains, gasoline, oil. Beast Boy couldn't get a clear scent of Psimon any longer!_

_ With a yelp, Beast Boy was tossed through the air. He twisted, smashing into a pillar and feeling something give in his chest. He hit the ground hard, winded and pummeled into his normal form once more._

_ "Do you think, even if you were capable of getting to me, that you would be able to fight me?" Psimon asked. "I can make you see whatever I want."_

_ Robin and Starfire swam before Beast Boy's eyes. Robin was standing in front of the alien girl, in a defensive stance between them. Starfire stared past Robin's shoulder at Beast Boy, looking afraid of him, "Beast Boy," Starfire whispered, "why do you attack us?"_

_ "Come on, Beast Boy," Robin said, holding up his hands, "cut this out!"_

_ Geez, they looked exactly like his friends. He could even catch a whiff of Starfire's fruity shampoo and Robin's hair gel!_

_ They disappeared to be replaced by Cyborg, whose circuits were frayed and sparking, "What the hell is wrong with you, B? Go after Psimon, not me!"_

_ This was wrong. It wasn't Cy. It was impossible. Beast Boy shifted again, giant gorilla arms picking up a chunk of the concrete Psimon had thrown earlier. He spun and hefted it in the direction of Psimon's scent and the faint sounds of movement. The telepath didn't seem to be able to teleport away from him, so Beast Boy counted on it._

_ Beast Boy grinned fiercely when he heard a scream. Without bothering to shift, he jogged over to the sound, ready to see Psimon on the ground. He stumbled when he finally found his target._

_ "B-Beast Boy?" Raven said. She was clutching her arm, which was bent at a grotesque angle. "Robin sent me here to give you a hand. I saw Psimon go out the back and was chasing him when…" She glanced at the missile Beast Boy had thrown._

_ "Rae, I had no idea, I'm so sorry!" Beast Boy said, kneeling at her side, "Are you…"_

_ He looked at her. Really looked at her. Yeah, it looked like Raven. Just like the last time he had seen her in person. But Beast Boy knew that weeks had passed. Her hair should be longer, like his was. Her clothes should be frayed, just like his. Her eyes should be older, like he could see that his were. Hell, he knew Raven better than he knew himself and he knew that whatever this was in front of him was not his friend._

_ Beast Boy stood up and backed away from the illusion of Raven. She stared up at him, "Don't leave me, what if he comes back?"_

_ He snorted, "Yeah, if I didn't figure it out a second ago, that would have clued it in for me. Raven never asks for help and would never put her own safety above stopping the bad guy. So," he glanced up as Raven's image wavered and disappeared, "where are you, Psimon?"_

_ He shifted once more. Not relying on sight, smell or his ears. Not entirely, at least._

_ A small bat chirped through the air, sonar echoing back a delightful, Psimon shaped figure running out the back door. Bingo._

_ Beast Boy dropped onto Psimon's shoulders as a bear. He heard something snap within Psimon's body and really didn't care._

_ "No!" Psimon's voice screamed through Beast Boy's head, "Stop!"_

_ There was a tone of command – he was trying to control his mind. Beast Boy pushed that aside; he hadn't grown up with Mento without learning a few things about resisting mental commands._

_ He didn't know when he shifted back into his human form. He just suddenly saw that it was fists hitting Psimon, rather than bear claws. It was only then that he stopped. He ignored his bloody knuckles and sore ribs, tying up Psimon tightly and making sure the authorities understood the risks of transporting the telepath. Before he shut the doors of the police van, Beast Boy leaned in and told him quietly, "You have difficulty remembering names. Let me remind you of mine."_

_ Beast Boy let his eyes shift to those of the Beast as he stared at Psimon. He saw the telepath flinch and shrink away from him, shaking visibly._

_ Yeah, Psimon wouldn't forget him for some time._

Beast Boy bolted awake, a sense of vindictive satisfaction filling him. That was one fight that went well for him. So why did he feel guilty?

He glanced around the room, seeing Raven curled up and facing away from him and recalled his cold shoulder to her the night before. Oh, so that's where the guilt was coming from.

Beast Boy didn't do grudges very well. He couldn't hold one for the life of him. Being stand-offish to Raven made him feel bad, big surprise. Dammit.

He tried lying in bed a little longer, but he wasn't tired. His body had gotten used to only three or four hours a night. It was still dark out, but he could smell that dawn was very near. Not wanting to just lie there and do nothing, he rolled out of bed as quietly as he could. Making sure Raven was still asleep, he padded quietly into the bathroom, jumping into the shower.

The water was hot, washing away his dream and annoyance. He had nightmares, but they were always things that had never even remotely happened. Any dreams of real things followed the script exactly. He didn't know why, it's just the way his brain had always worked. The anger he still harbored against Psimon had faded some over the months, but the dream had brought it back.

The annoyance didn't leave as completely as the residue from the dream. He was still annoyed with Raven for being so cold and distant, and annoyed at himself for doing exactly the same thing last night. He was better than that. And who knew, maybe Raven had an amazing reason for not talking to him.

He scowled, recalling how many times he had made excuses for her silences. Thought that maybe next time she'd pick up, maybe this time she'd call back.

Then again, maybe not.


	8. Demonophobia

I don't own Teen Titans. I wish I did. It'd be awesome. But this is only written for fun. No profit. Smiles and satisfaction are not recognized forms of currency in any country as of right now. When they are, maybe I'll owe the creators something. But they aren't right now and I haven't got much else. A very dirty pair of black Chucks. Size 7. I have small feet. Doubt they would fit most of you.

Demonophobia. Fear of demons.

* * *

><p><em>Raven blinked away the heat from the lava around them. Robin was gone. He had fallen some time ago. Starfire was unconscious on a piece of rock that was slowly melting away. Cyborg was little more than shards of metal. And Beast Boy…<em>

_ "Give it up before you get hurt," the voice around them boomed._

_ Beast Boy glared into the demonic red eyes, on his hands and knees, "Not a chance. Only one of us is walking away from here today."_

_ "Trust me, you aren't walking anywhere," the demon laughed._

Stop_, Raven thought_, stop it_._

_ "You don't have to do this," Beast Boy said._

_ The demon smiled, "Oh, but I really do. Destiny, fate. Meant to be." The demon's claws swung out, tossing Beast Boy off of the ledge. He yelled and twisted around in the air, his shape shifting into a gull as he pulled himself up and away from the fiery lava with barely inches to spare._

This is wrong_! Raven screamed silently, _Stop_!_

_ He used his wings to rise up to another ledge, changing back into his human shape. "Dammit, you can stop this, Raven!"_

_ She laughed in that horrible, demon voice, "Maybe I don't want to. Maybe I'm tired of denying what I am. This is what I was born for."_

_ Her arms spread wide, encompassing the broken, fiery landscape that used to be their home and their city. Smoke and screams filled the air, those who were still able to were fleeing, trampling over those who couldn't move fast enough. Blood fell from the sky like rain, coating everything in the sticky, coppery stain._

_ She couldn't stop her mouth or her magic. Sentences she'd never even thought fell from her lips like they had been practiced. A tiny portion of her screamed inside her own head, begging to stop, begging to leave her friends alone. But she couldn't stop it. And she couldn't deny that the demon part of her…she couldn't lie to herself…_

_ She _liked_ it._

_ "Oh, little Beast Boy," she taunted, floating over the lava to where her friend stood, shaking, "you can't stop this. You never could. Just like you couldn't save Terra."_

_ "This isn't you, Rae," he argued, "I know this isn't you."_

_ "You know nothing!" she screamed at him, lava rising like bubbles into the air around her. "I've been fighting this all my life and the only help I got from you was stupid jokes and ridiculous pranks!"_

_ "I tried!" he yelled back, "I tried to get you involved in things and make you laugh and-"_

_ "And I couldn't!" she screamed, making him stop talking. "Every time you asked why I was so unhappy or why I couldn't just laugh or why I had to be so creepy, it ate away at me. I was trying. But I couldn't let go of my control! When I did, it made me into this!" She gestured at herself and the destruction around them._

_ "Raven…" he whispered._

_ "No! You wanted me to let loose and smile?" She gave him a feral grin, making him back away, "Fine. This is the cost of your damned smile!"_

_ She raised her hands and the globes of lava followed. She threw her hands forward and the lava sprang ahead to cover Beast Boy from head to toe. He could only give a single, short scream before the lava got into his lungs._

_ She didn't watch as he died. Instead, she lifted her face up to the sky and opened her mouth. The blood-rain fell into it and Raven smiled. Oh, how delicious it tasted._

She lurched to her feet, her stomach rolling. Out of all of Phobia's visions, this had been the one to stick with her. This made her wake screaming more often than the dream of the communicator. Her hands shook as she wiped them over her face, oh Azar how she hated this one. Hours later she could still see the fires, feel the heat from the lava, hear the screams of those she burned alive, smell their charred bodies, taste their blood-

Her stomach churned as she remembered the taste. Her mouth felt sticky and coated, as if she really had -

Raven forgot all courtesy as she slammed the bathroom door open. The bile in her throat kept her from an explanation.

A green head poked out from the shower curtain as the door bounced against the wall, "What the hell, Raven? Occupado! Did you forgot how to-"

Whatever he thought she had forgotten was drowned out as she emptied to content of her stomach. She couldn't gather her senses enough to be embarrassed or ashamed. Tears were streaming down her face and she couldn't stop them. She just wanted the taste of blood out of her mouth.

Crimson spattered the walls of the toilet and Raven began to panic – she hadn't done what she dreamed! She couldn't have! Another heave kept her from crying out anything in particular. She just clutched the porcelain and tried not to pass out.

Her cheek stung as more bile passed over it and she would have laughed in relief if she could. She had just bit her cheek. Everything was fine. Minus the unstoppable vomiting.

A warm hand touched her back, "You okay?" She hadn't even heard him leave the shower.

_Clearly_, she wanted to say, _I'm in perfect condition_. Her mouth was otherwise occupied, though. Beast Boy apparently didn't take offense that she didn't answer. He held her hair back, without her having to ask. They didn't talk, or at least, Beast Boy didn't talk. Raven couldn't.

It took forever, but Raven finally felt like she had nothing else less to expunge. She rested her head on her arm, breathing heavily.

"Eat some bad fish or something?" Beast Boy asked when she had calmed down.

"No," she mumbled.

Beast Boy sat back, thankfully he had put on some pants at some point between now and the shower. "Pregnant?"

She glared at him, "I think I've missed out on the necessary activities to become pregnant."

"So, probably not pregnant, then."

"No. Not sick, not pregnant," Raven told him, slowly getting to her feet. She glanced in the mirror. Thankfully, she had missed her hair and her clothes. She just looked pale and had a thin sheen of sweat on her forehead. She wiped it away with a shaky hand. "Just nightmares. Thanks, for…you know."

"Sure," Beast Boy said, starting to look a little uncomfortable.

Raven turned to face him, "Sorry I interrupted your-"

"What the hell are those?" Beast Boy's voice was dangerously quiet. He was staring at Raven's shoulders.

She glanced down, already knowing what he was asking about. Two little scars on her left shoulder, one on her right and one just above her heart. She looked up at Beast Boy, "Scars."

"From what?" he asked, still not meeting her eyes.

"Guns. Well, the bullets, I suppose," she said, turning to walk out of the bathroom.

He grabbed her wrist, effectively stopping her, "Are you joking?"

"No."

"You got shot? 4 times? And you never told me?"

She could've dealt with anger. That would have been easy. It was the hurt that got her. Raven dropped her eyes, "It wasn't important. I was-"

"It wasn't _important_?" he hissed. "Raven, you were shot."

"I know," she said, "I was there."

"And you didn't call me?" Beast Boy asked, staring at her.

"I was fine."

He dropped her arm, but Raven didn't move. "At least tell me you told Robin," he said.

Raven bit the inside of her cheek, "No. Though he found out about it."

"What the hell, Raven?" Beast Boy asked, "Are you trying to get yourself killed?"

"Coming from the boy who had a skull fracture and never said," she retorted, refusing to feel guilty for things he had done as well.

He smiled, but it wasn't a very nice one. "I could have been trying to tell you. You're the one who never answered."

Shit. He had her there.

Beast Boy took in her silence and nodded, "Yeah. I wasn't the one who dropped off the face of the world. You were. You hung up one night and never tried to talk to me since. This is probably the longest conversation we've had in eight months."

Raven walked out of the bathroom, but he followed. Apparently, he was ready for this to be out in the open.

"Can you just tell me what I did to make you hate me?" he asked. "'Cause I've been wracking my brain for a long time and I honestly can't come up with anything. Except…"

She turned, wondering what he could possibly find as his fault.

Jade eyes looked everywhere but her. "Except, maybe…you regretted telling me anything about your life? And that you thought I would think differently of you. Even though I didn't. And I would never use anything you said against you. All that changed is that I thought a little more of you, to be honest. Until you started blowing me off."

"It had nothing to do with anything you did." Raven told him.

"Then why?"

Raven opened her mouth, completely prepared to lie, "I just-"

"Don't lie," he interrupted, staring at her. "I think I've earned enough respect from you for you to tell me the truth."

She sighed and sat down on her bed. This wasn't going to get any easier if she kept avoiding it. Maybe if she just told him, he'd understand and back off. She doubted it, but there was no other alternative. He would know if she lied. He'd always known. "Fine. You want the truth? I'm responsible for Argent's death." It spilled out in a rush.

That startled him. He frowned, "No, you're not. Phobia and Mammoth killed her."

"And I was supposed to arrest Phobia. I was about ten minutes too late."

Beast Boy stared at her without speaking for a minute. Then he went and took a seat on the other bed, "You overslept because we were talking the night before." It was a statement, not a question.

Raven took a moment to appreciate his insight. Sometimes he was thicker than a brick and other times he realized things quicker than anyone else.

"Yes," Raven admitted, "I arrived just as Phobia and Mammoth took off. And Argent…" She shook her head. She didn't want to remember that.

"And you think, that if you had gotten there earlier, you could have saved her." Beast Boy summed up.

"I could have," she told him. "I could have teleported us both out or handled one while Argent got the other. She was strong. And capable. If she only had a little help she might not have…I should have been there."

"Phobia and Mammoth are difficult on their own." Beast Boy said.

"I know. I tracked them both."

He looked annoyed by that; it looked oddly similar Robin's annoyed face. Raven decided she shouldn't mention that. Beast Boy said, "Are you certain that if you had been there, both of you would have walked away?"

"Of course not," she snapped, "but if I had been there, if I had done my job, at least she wouldn't have died alone."

Beast Boy went over to the shopping bags, pulling out a shirt. His voice muffled by cotton, he asked, "So when did Robin give you a daily schedule?"

"What?" Raven asked, surprised.

"A schedule. Told you when you had to wake up and when to get moving and when to arrest baddies." His head broke free and he stared at her.

She glared at him, "Don't patronize me."

"I'm not, Rae," he said, crossing over to her, "I swear I'm not."

He crouched on the ground in front of her, "Seriously, though. Did you know Argent was there? Did you know she was in trouble?"

"I…no."

"You overslept by ten minutes. You'd been running around the world working off of no sleep for months at that point. We didn't have alarms or beds or anything." Beast Boy moved to meet her eyes, "What happened to Argent was a horrible accident. If you had been there, maybe you might have saved her. Or maybe both of you would have died. Fact is you weren't there and you can't change that."

Raven pushed him away and stood up, "I should have been there."

He stood as well, "And Robin should have been there when Starfire broke her arm. Speedy should have moved faster when Pantha fell. Jinx should have gotten there to help Kid Flash. Cyborg should have gotten to Bee when her wings got shredded. I should have gone to you when you got shot." He didn't follow as she walked further away from him, "We all could have changed something if we had been somewhere that we weren't. But fact is, we weren't. We can't take someone else's hits. We just do what we can."

She turned and tried to walk past him to the bathroom but he blocked her way, "You can't keep carrying this guilt, Rae. You can't go back and change time. You did everything you could and probably more. That's all anyone can ask of you."

"I ask more of me," she said. She tried to move again, but he stepped in her way. "Will you move?"

"Raven-"

"Look," she snapped, "if you want to continue talking about this, even though I really don't, can we do it on the move? In case you've forgotten, we have a job to do."

Instead of moving he asked, "So that's why you stopped talking to me? Because you overslept one day and didn't want it to happen again?"

"No. I didn't want my social life to start interfering with my work, which it did. With the worst possible results," she told him. She tried to walk past him and he blocked her way again, "Will you move so I can get changed?"

"No, we're hashing this out now," Beast Boy said.

She stomped over to her backpack and pulled out a pair of jeans and a t-shirt, turning her back to the changling, "No, we're going to track down Doctor Light before he hurts someone. That's what we're going to do."

"Listen, I understand why you did what you did," Beast Boy started saying, "but you can't keep living in the past because-" he stopped speaking with a yelp, "Raven, what the hell?"

She ignored him and finished pulling on her clean pair of jeans. "You weren't moving, I needed to change." Raven pulled off her shirt, without a thought to modesty. No time for it.

When she was dressed, she turned to face him again. She sighed when she saw him with his back to her, a blush spreading over the back of his neck. "I'm decent, Beast Boy. Stop acting like you're twelve."

He swung around, "Next time you start taking off your clothes, give me a warning or you know," he chuckled weakly, "buy me dinner first at least."

"I'll keep that in mind," she told him, "are you ready?"

Beast Boy looked at her carefully, like he wasn't quite certain who she was. "I'm always ready."

"Fine. Then let's go," Raven said, heading out of the hotel with Beast Boy hot on her heels. Last time she faced off against Doctor Light, he had walked away. Not this time.


	9. Photophobia

Short one this time. I'm sorry. But the next chapter has some action, so hopefully it'll be longer. And this back information needed to be known, especially for those who don't read the comics. I am taking some liberties with the storyline. Don't be mad.

I don't own the Teen Titans. Wish I did. In the words of Stifler (yeah, I like the American Pie movies) – "Sue me. I'm not worth anything." Except, don't actually sue me. It would be such a hassle.

Photophobia. Fear of light.

* * *

><p>"Robin?"<p>

"Rob?"

"Yo, Robin!"

Robin jerked up, "Hmm?"

"No sleeping, man." Cyborg yawned widely. "I can't be the only one in this car awake."

The Boy Wonder straightened up in his seat, glancing in the backseat. Starfire was curled up, her hair fluttering in and out with her breathing. They'd only been on the road for a few hours and Robin had only meant to close his eyes for a moment. The sun was beating down on the roof of the car, and despite the AC going on full blast, it was getting a little warm.

"Sorry." He rubbed his eyes and glanced out the window. He kept his voice quiet as he asked, "How much longer?"

Cyborg shook his head, "Hours to go, yet."

Robin looked at the countryside that wasn't yet familiar, "How long since you've been back home?"

Cyborg chuckled, "Just as long as you, Rob. Just as long as Star, Beast Boy and Raven."

"I gave you all chances to go home for a break."

"You had the same chance. You denied it, same as the rest of us."

Robin glanced at his long time friend and surrogate brother, "I noticed that only our Titans denied the break."

"Mhmm," Cyborg's answer was noncommittal.

Robin had never been one for confiding too deeply, but that had been before the Brotherhood. "Do you happen to know why?"

Cyborg glanced at his friend, "I might have a few ideas. Since when are you concerned when your team is working harder than necessary?"

"Since the team hasn't been together in almost a year and the last time we were together…I feel like we were completely different people back then."

"We were."

"I mean, some things are great. You and Bee are like the official Titans counselors. Star's…"

"Your girlfriend?" Cyborg teased.

Robin smiled, not denying it. It faded quickly as he kept thinking, "But Raven's all…introverted-"

"Like she always was."

He continued like he didn't hear Cyborg's comment, "And Beast Boy's…"

"Rambo?"

Robin glanced over, "Kind of, yeah."

"What happened to us changed us," Cyborg murmured, "Sometimes irrevocably. But I don't think that Rae and B are too far gone just yet."

"I hope not."

"You gotta have faith in them," Cyborg said. "They're still your friends. But Rae and B had it rough. But they'll recover."

"I hope so."

"They will."

Robin glanced at the robot, "You're so sure."

"Yup."

"How?"

"Because you trained us."

Robin didn't know how to answer, so he didn't. He didn't know whether or not to take that as a compliment.

"Have you talked to Raven lately?"

Cyborg smiled slightly and glanced over at him, "I've talked to her, yeah. Have I managed to get her to actually open up to me? Big zero."

"I know that she feels responsible for Argent's death. Her withdrawal is at least understandable." Robin glanced back out the window, "But Beast Boy is another matter entirely. He was never like this before."

"How do you know? We met the Doom Patrol. They seemed like real sweet fellas. Maybe the lighthearted B we all know and love wasn't always so lighthearted. Maybe this just brought out what he had been suppressing."

Robin eyed him, "Did you buy a Psychology book or something?"

Cyborg laughed, "No. I'm just listening more. Letting people vent. Speaking of venting…" He glanced at Robin.

"Me?"

"Yeah, you, Rob." Cyborg turned onto the freeway, "Haven't talked to you much. How are you holding up?"

"I'm fine. I…" Cyborg stared at him and Robin fell silent. He pulled off his jacket, not looking at the robot, "I'm tired, Cy. I'm tired and I'm worried about our friends."

"We all are." He glanced in the rearview mirror, "Looks like Star is getting a head start on that."

Robin looked back at her as well, smiling slightly.

"Don't you screw this up, man. It's been too long in coming."

"I won't. She's…"

"One in a million, yeah." Cyborg smiled indulgently. "And that's how I know everything's gonna be all right."

Robin didn't ask, but Cyborg didn't need the prompting.

"I mean, if an uptight, control-freak, hair gelled nutbag like you can come out this relatively normal, there should be some hope for our resident half-demon sorceress and our hypo-allergenic, vegan changling, right?"

Chuckling, Robin muttered, "And for some reason, I'm still glad you're here."

"You and me both."

They stopped for a bathroom break and let Starfire discover the various horrors and amazements of gas station cuisine. With shrink wrapped and sealed delights in hand, they jumped back into the T-Car. Hopefully the next time they jumped out would be at their home. They passed the time with rumors and things they had discovered during their travels.

"I was told that you and Red X took down Cardiac together," Starfire said, leaning in between Robin and Cyborg's seats.

Robin looked out the window, "That might be true."

"And I heard he kicked your butt afterwards and got away," Cyborg added.

"…that also might be true."

They chuckled. A lifetime ago, maybe that would have sent him into an angry rant about responsibility. But after last year, he had learned that things weren't so black and white. Yeah, Red X had gotten away from him that time. But he had also stolen his Xenothium power core. So, he could live with Red X getting away.

He glanced at his friend, "I heard you and Bee took down Brother Blood. And then were off the grid for another two days. So…what was going on with you?"

Cyborg's human side flushed red. "I…I don't know what you're talking about."

Starfire giggled, which made Robin glance back. Who exactly had explained that sort of thing to her?

She met his eyes and smiled at him, which made Robin's face get a little darker. He turned back to the front, pretending not to notice Cyborg's smirk.

Cyborg looked into the rearview mirror, "And you, little missy. I heard you were responsible for the destruction of a pyramid in Egypt."

She blushed, "Maybe."

Robin chuckled, "That's all right. Raven knocked down almost an entire financial district in Canada somewhere."

"And did you hear what B did to Psimon?" Cyborg asked, the lighthearted tone gone.

"He deserved it." Starfire muttered from the backseat.

Robin didn't disagree, but Cyborg spoke again, "Prison officials said he woke screaming every night for weeks."

"What did he do?" Star asked.

"He never said. And Psimon won't speak to anyone, not even the prison psychologists."

Robin wasn't sure if he was impressed or concerned. Probably a little of both. "When Beast Boy loses his temper, he can really do some-"

The communicator in the car went off, cutting off what Robin was saying. He pressed the button to answer, revealing the caller.

Cyborg and Starfire gasped and Robin stared in astonishment. He never would have expected him.

"Br-Batman?" Robin sat up and stared at the screen inside the T-car. "Why are you calling?"

"I had to speak with you." Batman's voice sounded the same as it did five years ago, when Robin had struck out on his own.

"Good to see you, too."

"This is no time for chatting, Robin," Batman scolded.

He didn't let that ruffle him as it once did. Maybe before the Brotherhood that would have offended him, but after everything…such a silly little rebuke didn't matter. "What can we do for you?"

"Do you know of a villain called Doctor Light?" Batman asked.

"Yeah, we're come up against him before."

"When? Where?" he asked, looking concerned.

Now that bothered Robin. Batman didn't show concern if there was another option, "A few years ago. Then Cyborg and Starfire went up against him a couple months ago."

"Did he seem…different?"

"Yes," Cyborg and Star said in unison.

The alien nodded at Cyborg to continue, "The dude was angry. Dangerous. Managed to get away from both of us and we're not new to this."

"That's what I thought," Batman said. "Don't let your people go up against Doctor Light alone. Always in groups from now on, understand?"

"What do you know?" Starfire asked him.

"Nothing is certain, so I don't think-"

"Batman," Robin interrupted, "if you have any suspicions, thoughts or concerns that could affect me or my team, I think you should share it with us."

Batman looked at his former sidekick. "You've changed."

"Yes. Now what do you know?"

Batman rubbed his eyes, "A few years back Doctor Arthur Light was found on the JLA Satellite. Sue Dibny was aboard, alone."

"Dibny? Isn't that Elongated Man's wife?" Cyborg asked.

"Yes."

Starfire hesitated, "She was alone? But couldn't Doctor Light have…?"

"He did," Batman said, flat tone belying the faint hint of sadness that Robin could see behind his old mentor's mask.

"What happened to him? He always seemed a little unbalanced, but never completely dangerous." Cyborg had pulled off the road and into a parking lot, all of his attention on Batman's face.

"No," Batman corrected, "Doctor Light started off unbalanced. Something happened to him to make him the weak man you've gone up against before."

"And now he's back to the way he was before?" Robin asked.

"I believe so. He attacked a few other heroes. Green Arrow, Flash and Green Lantern in particular."

"And you think that he might come after the Titans?" Cyborg asked.

Batman looked at him, "You've gone up against him and come out victorious. He used to see the Titans as children who weren't fit to lick his boots. He won't want to let you remember him as someone you've defeated. If he's returned to his old ways, he'll come after you, I'm almost certain of it."

"What would you recommend?" Starfire asked him.

"Keep your teams close. Make sure no one fights Light on their own. Don't let any female heroes go up against him alone, or even in groups if you can help it."

"Do you think he'll still go after the girls?" Cyborg asked.

Batman's face was grim, even behind his mask, "He was a serial rapist before…before whatever happened that changed him."

"What do you think happened?" Robin asked.

"I…have my suspicions. And if I'm right, it's a lot more complicated than we thought," Batman said calmly.

"What are you suspicions?"

"I don't want to speak without having some further evi-"

"Robin!" Starfire grabbed his arm, "You must warn Beast Boy and Raven! They are looking for Doctor Light right now!"

"Star's right," Robin didn't hesitate and grabbed his communicator, "Robin, calling Beast Boy!" No one in the car or on the screen spoke. "Beast Boy, this is an emergency."

Robin stared at the silent communicator and finally lost his composure, "Beast Boy!"


	10. Soteriophobia

Hey all. I still don't own Teen Titans. Bummer. Don't sue. This is for fun only. Might be a bit longer delay between this and the next chapter. All my essays have to be written by the 24th, and I can't afford to be late on them. But after that, I'm all yours.

Soteriophobia. Fear of dependence on others.

* * *

><p>Beast Boy covered the speaker on his communicator, slipping out of the alley and across the street. Goddamn Boy Wonder nearly blew the whole thing.<p>

"Beast Boy!"

Beast Boy snapped it open with a growl, "Geez, Rob, give me a minute, won't you?"

"Don't have a minute. Where's Raven?" he sounded flustered.

"She's fine. Still in position." Beast Boy looked at the condemned apartment building again, "Where I should be, if it weren't for your obnoxious-"

"You've got a lock on Light?" Robin asked.

"Yeah, we saw him heading in this building earlier and then leaving. We're staking out for when he comes back." He was annoyed by the implication, "We know how to do our job. You don't need to check in on-"

"Fall back. Get Raven and fall back. Do not go up against Doctor Light."

Beast Boy stared at the screen in shock, "What? But we've got him right where we want him. He won't expect Rae in there waiting for-"

"She's in there already?" Starfire's voice was panicked over the communicator.

He was starting to get concerned. Something must be really wrong to get Star and Robin spooked.

"Listen to him, changling. You've got to get to that girl and get the two of you out safely. Do not engage him." Beast Boy had never met the owner of that voice, but he would be stupid not to recognize it.

"Why is Bat- never mind." Robin was freaked, Star was scared out of her mind and Batman was involved. Questions later, get to Raven now. He glanced up and down the street, pressing himself against the wall as he saw a familiar figure approaching. He wasn't wearing his usual suit, but the trench-coat could have easily hidden it.

Whatever Robin yelled at him was missed as Beast Boy silenced the communicator and dropped it, followed by his sweatshirt. It was cold, but he dealt with it.

He couldn't get across the street before Light saw him. There weren't a ton of people around, but the few bystanders could get hurt if Light was wearing his suit. Beast Boy suspected he was. As much as he hated it, he had to let Light get inside before he went in after him.

He didn't know what Light did to make Robin and Star so scared. He wasn't sure he wanted to know. He just knew that it was bad.

The second the edge of Light's coat whipped through the door, Beast Boy was moving. Not the front door, but the back. Raven was supposed to be hanging out by the back. Maybe he could get to her before Light even got there.

He skidded around the corner, changing form as his feet cleared the threshold. A tiny jungle owlet with clear vision and silent wings swooped through the halls. Raven should be around here somewhere. And it wasn't as if she couldn't guess who the little green owl was-

A scuff from up ahead made Beast Boy bank and cling to one of the walls. Luckily, the building had been ransacked by a lot of people during the time it had been condemned. There were hundreds of holes and wrecked walls for him to hide in.

He shifted slightly along the boards, not able to see who had made the noise. Dammit, he needed a better look.

Gliding down to the ground, he hopped a few more feet forward. Another noise up ahead. He stopped. He felt his wings spread and his beak open up with a hiss as a figure turned the corner up ahead.

"Beast Boy?" Raven whispered. "What are you doing?" She glanced behind her, "You're supposed to be out front."

He started his shift back to human when the world around them exploded.

There were two voices screaming – one cut off fairly quickly, while the other shifted between a screech and a yell.

Oh. That was him.

He hated being caught between shapes. The shift between one shape and another was natural. Easy. Smooth. But getting caught, when his attention was forced away from the shift entirely? God, it burned. His joints cried out, shifting between one bending one way or another. His coordination was off, half his bones still hollow. He couldn't see anything – one eye halfway to owl and the other almost completely human. His mouth was skin pulled over a beak, his feet bled as claws fought against toes for the space. He was some creature of nightmares, half feathers, half green skin. As soon as he hit the ground, the air pummeled out of him, he finished the shift back to his human form, blinking away the spots in his eyes.

The entire hallway was gone. Decimated. He had missed the main part of the explosion, which was damn lucky because anyone who had been standing directly in the way would have been-

"Raven?" he called out in a panic, looking for anything that looked like it could be her. He coughed and said again, louder, "Rae?"

He got to his feet, a little shaky. His limbs were still burning with the shades of the shift, but it was fading. Adrenaline and dread could do that to you.

"Raven? Come on, answer me." He coughed again, wiping his mouth. Debris and dust were still falling from what was left of the ceiling. "Look, I know you gave me the silent treatment for months, but how about breaking that rule, just for a second?"

A groan caught his attention and he scrambled over to it, shifting drywall and boards off of the general vicinity. "Rae?"

He smelled the burn before he finished moving the debris off of her. He moved the last bit aside and revealed her. It looked worse than he had anticipated.

Her eyes were closed, but she was breathing. Short, shuddery breaths, but breathing nonetheless. The entire back of her sweatshirt was gone. It was only still clinging to her skin because it was…welded to it. Looked like a pretty severe second degree burn. One that was caused by-

"Light can be very dangerous. And yet people always seem to underestimate its potential."

Beast Boy didn't move from Raven side as Light approached form behind where she had been standing. He looked different. Much more confidant. And that probably wasn't good for him right now.

Light looked down at Raven, disinterested. "Lucky for you, my new suit should give me the ability to finish you off quickly."

"That's the…bright side?" Beast Boy asked. He shook Raven's arm, knowing it was probably hurting her burn, but having no other option.

"Funny," Light drawled. "But I'm not into the puns so much anymore."

"Yeah? What are you into? Scrap-booking? Basket-weaving? Glass-blowing?" He squeezed Raven's arm.

"All admirable pursuits. But I'm interested in a more…focused project."

"Squatting in destroyed apartment buildings?"

Light crossed his arms, "God, you're quite an irritating little mutant, aren't you?"

Hmm. He'd been called freak, monster, animal and creature. Mutant was a new one. "And you're a washed up geriatric who's still afraid of the dark. Don't see me pointing it out."

"Geriatric?" Light hissed. "I was the most feared villain in the country for some time. Until your precious Justice League stole my mind."

"Ignoring for a moment that stealing minds seems improbable, you're hardly a threat to the JLA. Barely even to the Titans." Beast Boy thought he saw Raven's eyes flicker, but didn't look. Couldn't call attention to her.

"Trust me, by the time I'm done with you and the Titans, the JLA will remember why they feared me so. And seeing as how you to so willingly walked to the slaughter, I'll start with you and the little half-demon." Light glanced down at Raven.

Beast Boy didn't know what it was. A scent, an instinct, a glimpse of something behind Light's eyes. All he knew is that he didn't like the implication of that little look. In fact, he damn well hated it.

There was a tiny press of pressure on his wrist. Raven was awake. Sort of.

"How about you, first?" Light asked Beast Boy.

"You know, that really doesn't fit into my schedule. How about another time?" Beast Boy asked, moving between Light and Raven.

"Oh, do shut up," Light told him, raising his fist to point it at Beast Boy's chest.

Hearing the system begin to power up, Beast Boy took a shot. Raven might be awake enough to teleport herself out of here. That would be best. The second before Light's systems got to full power, Beast Boy leapt and shifted.

Light screamed as the wolf bit deeply into his arm. Beast Boy held on as tightly as he could, snarling and grinding his teeth tighter. He felt something cold press against his ribs.

Oh. Light had another wrist blaster thingy. _Awesome._

He let his snarl fade, though he didn't let go. At least Rae had enough time to get away. Light panted out, "Enjoy death, changling."

A lot of things happened in that moment.

"Azarath, Metrion, Zinthos!" Raven breathed.

Light shot the wrist blaster right against Beast Boy's chest.

A barrier of Raven's soul self came between him and Light.

And then Raven and Beast Boy were torn away from Light and landed back in their hotel room.

Beast Boy yelled as he hit the ground, shocked back into his human form. He could feel his skin smoking from where the blaster had hit him. He shuddered in pain, god it felt like he was on fire! He tried to look at it, but a dark curtain was suddenly between his eyes and his chest.

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry," Raven whispered, holding her hands above the burn. She was shaking and moving stiffly, the burn on her back had to be worse than his. But she ignored it, kneeling next to him and concentrating on healing his wounds.

"No, do yours first," Beast Boy told her, his words muffled through his clenched teeth.

"No. Yours is…it's…" She trailed off.

Beast Boy felt his skin getting cold and he tried to look at it. Raven pushed him back down, one hand glowing blue as she concentrated, "Don't look. Please. It's bad."

"You need it, too. You're hurt," he tried to tell her, but he threw his head back as the pain racked through him again. How much damage had that blaster done to him?

"I'm fine," she denied it, but the sweat on her face and her still shaking hands told him otherwise.

"What about Light?" Beast Boy asked.

Raven shook her head, "We didn't get him."

Raven's hand brushed Beast Boy's side and he gasped.

"I'm sorry," she told him again.

"He got us pretty good, huh?" he mumbled.

"Yeah. I've never seen Light like that before. He was…"

"Bad-ass?" he suggested. The pain was fading enough so that he could breathe almost normally. "Stop."

"What's wrong?" Raven asked, looking worried.

He forced himself up and noticed the obvious, "Okay, first, I need some pants."

Raven flushed and moved to get them, but winced and fell back on her knees.

"And you need to take care of yourself. Right now." Beast Boy found pants and pulled them on. "I'm okay now. Heal up yourself a little."

She wanted to argue, it was obvious. But she was in a lot of pain. Raven closed her eyes and Beast Boy saw her back begin to glow blue.

He examined his own wounds, wincing at the sight. From his chest to his hip had been burned, the skin shiny and blistered. It must have looked even worse before Raven healed it up, so he imagined he hadn't gotten off easy. But, it wasn't bleeding and he could breathe, mostly. He could deal.

His communicator was still in that alley. So he walked to Raven, bending over and tugging hers off of her waistband. Her eyes opened sluggishly as she looked at him; the pain dulled the amethyst color. On a whim, Beast Boy smiled tiredly and touched her face. She didn't jump back or frown. The corner of her mouth quirked up and then her eyes slid shut. The blue glow on her back intensified.

Sitting down on the edge of the bed, taking care not to jostle his injuries too much, Beast Boy flipped open the communicator and dialed his leader's number.

"Raven?" Robin's voice was panicked. "Are you and Beast Boy all right? What happened?"

"It's me." Wow, did his voice really sound that dull?

"B?" Cyborg and Starfire crowded around the little screen. It looked like they had pulled over to the side of the road in the middle of nowhere. "You okay, man?"

"You need to tell me everything you know about Light. Right now," Beast Boy said, staring at them. He wasn't angry, not really. But he knew he sounded that way.

"All I know is what Batman told us, just a few minutes ago. And what happened with the other Titans," Robin said.

"Start with the Titans."

Robin closed his eyes, clearly thinking. "Red Star was first. Almost blinded by him. Raven came by him around that time, but she was too concerned with Red Star to pursue. Next was Star. He blasted her out of the sky and she was injured, but he didn't continue the attack. Then…"

"Me," Cyborg put in. "Twice. Lost my arm the first time, Light walked away. Half blinded the second time, he walked away again."

"Then Speedy. Light…seared his bow to his skin. Had to have it surgically cut off. Suffered some second degree burns," Robin said. "Then Cy again, but Light blasted him, welding his metal arms to his torso."

Beast Boy stared at the screen. "And you never warned us?" He glanced up as Raven stood stiffly, looking up at him. She walked over, sitting next to him on the bed as Robin noticed her arrival.

"After Cyborg," Robin hesitated, "I tried to warn the other Titans away, but…"

"I pursued him anyway," Raven finished quietly. "It's all right. Go ahead, Robin."

He nodded, "Raven followed him to the third floor of a corporate building. The fight was…"

"Not a fight. A beating. I could barely touch him," Raven said quietly. "When I was down, he threw me out the window. Had it not been for my powers, I would have died."

Beast Boy was livid now. "All right. Now what did Batman tell you?"

Raven glanced at him, he saw it out of the corner of his eye. He couldn't look at her just yet. He was too angry at Light and what he had done to his friends. He couldn't look at Rae and see more evidence of Light's work.

Robin's summary was short on details. Light had been this dangerous at one point, up to the day he had raped Sue Dibny. Immediately after that, Light had become the man the Titans had known. Weak, a pushover, wielding little more than cheesy puns. But something had happened since then, changing Light back into the monster he had been. And according to Batman's report on the fight between Green Arrow and Light, Light was threatening the Titans and the loved ones of the JLA. Wives, girlfriends, daughters, mothers. Females only. Any of them who were civilians and were able had left town, disappearing into protection. Robin never said it, but Beast Boy read the implications of the words.

"So any girl that Light gets a hold of, provided they're connected to the JLA or to the Titans, is in danger," Beast Boy summed up. Rage had built up in him steadily during Robin's words. It was burning beneath his skin.

Robin hesitated, "While we're all at risk, yes, it seems that the girls would have more to lose."

"And Light is still walking around," he added.

Raven was watching him, not the screen as Robin answered.

"Yes, but when you and Raven return," Robin said slowly, "we'll regroup, form a plan and go after him as a team."

"And between now and our 'regrouping'," Beast Boy was standing, "how many are going to pay Light's price?"

Robin tried to calm him, "I know how you feel, but you two can't go on alone. You need a team. We're not giving up on catching Light. But it's going to be a bigger fight than we're used to."

He was right. Beast Boy knew that it was logical. But all he could think about was the way Doctor Light had looked at Raven when she was unconscious. How many other people were on the receiving end of that look right at this second? How many people were at risk, just because of who they loved? This wasn't right.

"Fine. Regroup and plan," Beast Boy said, putting the communicator in Raven's hands, "I'll be out." He grabbed a shirt and headed towards the door.

"Beast Boy, stop, you can't-"

Robin's voice was cut off as Raven shut the communicator. She ran after him, putting her hand on the door and the other on his shoulder. "You're hurt."

"So's he," Beast Boy didn't move. He couldn't push her out of the way. She was injured and he'd pain her more if he did.

"You're still in worse condition than him. You go after him now, you'll die," Raven's voice was flat as she stared into his eyes.

"And if I don't, someone else could end up as Light's revenge."

"Yeah. You!" Raven snapped at him.

Beast Boy gave up talking with her, and spun on his heel towards the window. He had nearly made it when a shield of black magic covered the window. He had to physically restrain himself from growling when he turned back towards Raven.

"Let me out."

She stood in front of the door, "No."

"I'm trying to save people!"

"No! You're trying to get Light!" Raven shouted back.

He threw up his hands, ignoring the shot of pain through his side, "Same difference!"

"No, Beast Boy, it isn't," she told him, no longer yelling. "Protecting people focuses on the possible victims. Going after Light means only focusing on him, no matter who gets hurt in the process."

"I'll only risk myself."

She stared at him, "And if you don't come back? How am I supposed to get out of this city safely, wounded and alone? Especially when Light is focusing on female heroes."

Oh, that was a low blow and she knew it. "You don't need my help."

"Trust me, it hurts to admit it," Raven said scathingly. "I haven't needed help in months. I hate the fact that I can't go after Light myself. But we can't, not in our condition and not alone."

Beast Boy turned away from her to stare at the blacked out window. As he watched, the shadow leeched away, returning to its owner.

"I want to be out there," he said quietly.

"I know."

He flinched when her hand touched the back of his neck. Suddenly his eyes seemed too tired to stay open. He could barely keep his feet.

"Rae…what're you…?" he mumbled.

Her voice sounded far away, "You need to sleep. And I'm too tired and sore to keep arguing with you."

"…damn you…" he faded away, not really meaning it.

A quiet laugh chased him into unconsciousness, "Little late."


	11. Philematophobia

Putting off papers so I can get this out to you. I don't own the Titans. But a girl can dream…

Philematophobia. Fear of kissing. (Not what you think, sorry).

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><p>Raven was still smiling as she used her magic to lift Beast Boy up. She held him in the air as she went into the bathroom, dampening a towel with some cool water and filling up one of the glasses. Her back was stiff, but she was managing. She just needed to do several small healings, rather than one big one. She could keep a hefty level of power if she did that, and even manage to heal up Beast Boy a bit more.<p>

Despite her power, however, she wasn't about to stomp on tried and true remedies. Raven lowered Beast Boy to one of the beds gently, making sure he wasn't resting on his side at all. His face tightened in pain despite her best efforts.

"Shh," Raven murmured, putting the towel on the burn. His face eased a little, but not entirely. At this rate, he was going to wake up in just a few minutes. She put the glass of water on the nightstand and sat next to him. Taking a breath, she made sure her healing energy was focused and then ran her fingers along Beast Boy's forehead. He frowned and then his face smoothed out, calmer and pain free, if only for the moment.

She closed her eyes for a second, making sure she hadn't drained herself too much. In the time that her eyes were closed, Beast Boy's hand reached out, grabbing the hem of her sweatshirt.

She glanced at him; he was still sleeping. She starting to unclench his fingers from her shirt, "Let go, you stupid…"

Beast Boy mumbled in his sleep, whole sentences that she couldn't understand. Except one word – her name.

Raven stared at the shape-shifter for a few seconds longer. Something in his voice was making her reconsider her idea. Finally she sighed, and pulled his fingers off her shirt.

She stood, picking up another sweatshirt. The one she was wearing was beyond repair, so it went right into the trash. She winced as it tugged on the edges of her burn, but she bit her lip to keep from making any noise. Once she had finished putting the new sweatshirt back on, she glanced over at Beast Boy to make sure he was still sleeping. He didn't look too restful, but he was still sleeping, so that was a good sign.

Picking up her communicator, she opened it up and searched for Beast Boy's dot on the map. Though the changling was sleeping not three feet away from her, the dot was showing him outside the apartment building they had just left. Would Light still be there?

She chewed on the edge of her thumb, staring at the dot. It was across the street from the building, in an alleyway. The likelihood of Light being in that particular alley when she materialized was low. Even if he was still inside the building, he wouldn't be able to see her. He'd have to be standing out in the open, right in front. He was injured and angry, he'd probably be retreating to some hidey-hole somewhere to plan, not enjoying the scenery.

Besides, she rationalized, if Light managed to get the communicator, he would know everyone's positions and hear any plans they might be forming. Cyborg was working on a bio-recognition software to implant in all the devices to keep exactly that from happening, but it was still in the prototype stages and not at all ready. If Light was as dangerous as everyone thought, they couldn't take the risk of him getting that communicator.

Mind made up, Raven glanced at Beast Boy. Still sleeping. She'd be gone a total of five minutes, maximum. The spell she worked should make him sleep for another hour, at least. If she was going to go, it would have to be now.

Fixing the map in her mind, Raven vanished from the hotel room and reappeared a few dozen feet above the ground. She had never teleported into a light-pole or a trashcan and she wasn't going to take the risk in doing so today. There was a small family a black up on the other side of the street, so Raven lowered herself to the ground quickly, not wanting to be seen.

She found Beast Boy's things quickly; the alley was almost empty except for them. She walked over, keeping one eye on the family as they walked past the apartment building. They had just passed the front door and Raven bent to pick up the jacket and communicator.

"Beautiful day, isn't it?"

Raven froze, staring across the street. Doctor Light's cold eyes met hers and he smiled, before looking back at the mother of the family who had been walking. She smiled, murmuring an agreement. Then they continued on their way.

Raven raised her hands, already glowing. She might get taken down, but she'd do her best to take him with her. He was watching the mother walk away and even from here Raven could feel that his emotions were more than monstrous. This was one of the rare times she hated her empathy. All she could feel rolling off of him was anger, lust and an urge to make everything around him hurt.

Light turned his dark eyes towards Raven, smirking as he saw her stance. Slowly he raised his hand, waggling one finger at her in a clear "Don't do that" sort of way. Blood was dripping down his forearm and off his elbow. That must have been Beast Boy's work. Light nodded towards the family that was on the sidewalk a few meters away from them. The mother had knelt in front of her daughter's stroller, retying her shoe as the little girl laughed. The other child, too bundled up to be clear if it was a boy or a girl, was pulling on the mother's arm, trying to tell a story. Light's threat was clear.

Raven lowered her hands, but didn't move. Light kept his hands at his sides, nothing aimed at her as far as she could tell. Raven wished the family would hurry up. She couldn't leave while they were still out in the open. Not after what she had felt from him.

She wasn't sure if he had done his research on her, or if he was truly this loud in broadcasting his emotions. Everything that she had felt when he had been staring at the woman was increased tenfold as he stared at her. Adding to that hatred and a thirst for vengeance, Raven was surprised the man wasn't glowing with the strength of his emotions. Still, she could deal with that. It wasn't the first time she had to deal with a pervert. Adonis had been almost as bad and she had put him behind bars. Light was no different, she told herself.

Despite those thoughts, she couldn't help but shudder as his gaze traveled lower and his emotions got much more specific. He had no qualms that his reputation was known. In fact, he seemed to be trying to make it more obvious. She flinched as she caught a glimpse of one of Light's memories –_ "P-please," a brunette woman cried beneath him_ – Raven stepped back, realizing she had witnessed a second of Sue Dibny's horror, the same thing Light had planned for any female superhero he could get his hands on.

Bile rose up in her throat as she knelt down. She kept her head raised, never losing eye contact with Light as she grabbed Beast Boy's sweatshirt and communicator. She wouldn't be intimidated by the memories of a monster. Keeping them bundled in one arm, Raven glanced at the family as the mother finally stood and continued on her walk, oblivious to how close she had walked to death.

Light was still smiling at her when she looked back. Raven took a step backwards into the alley, ready to teleport away from him as soon as the family turned the corner.

Following her with a step in her direction, Light raised his hand to his mouth. Raven nearly dropped the sweatshirt and communicator as she tensed, her free hand glowing as she crouched, ready to move.

He laughed, just loudly enough that she could hear it. Raven glared at him, but he wasn't finished. Disconcertingly, Light kissed the tips of his fingers and blew it towards her. A promise. Raven glanced at the family just as the mother's feet disappeared around the corner, vanishing into her shadow as Light started striding across the street.

She arrived back in the hotel room, feeling unnerved and shaken by what had happened, though it had been nothing. She dropped Beast Boy's things on the ground, intent on getting a glass of water.

"Where the hell have you been?"

She looked up, seeing Beast Boy exiting the bathroom. He was holding onto the doorframe, exhausted, but keeping his eyes open by sheer will.

"Geez," she tried to smile, "you must have a metabolism almost as fast as Kid Flash's to wear off my sleep spell so quickly."

He stalked towards her, fury radiating off of him, "Don't joke. Where have you been?"

"I was-"

Beast Boy finally noticed the sweatshirt and communicator and his eyes snapped up towards her, fury replaced by obvious terror. "You went back there?"

"I didn't go inside, I was just getting your-"

"Are you nuts? Was he still there?" Beast Boy asked.

Raven had to either take a step back or have Beast Boy directly in her face. Well, she hadn't backed down from him ever before, it wouldn't happen now. "Yes, but he didn't get near me. Didn't touch me. Didn't attack me."

"Did he see you? What did he do?"

"He just," Raven shrugged, "watched me? I don't know."

He stared at her, "That's it?"

"Yes," she said firmly. The emotions she had felt weren't done to her by Light, she had just felt them. And the kiss…nothing. A futile action from an impotent man.

"Fine." He took a breath and Raven made to move past him, "What were you thinking, going back there without me?"

Apparently this wasn't over. "You were sleeping."

"Because you made me."

"You were being unreasonable."

"And you're just the picture of reason, huh?" he asked, a short back of laughter making it out before he got serious again, "You could have gotten hurt."

"I'm fine," she brushed past him. "Don't worry about me."

Beast Boy grabbed her arm as she walked past, stopping her without looking at her. "I always worry about you. Please…just, don't do anything like that ever again, okay? If you have to, promise that you'll take me with you."

She didn't want to. She didn't want to rely on someone as heavily as he was asking her to. She didn't want to be responsible if something happened to him because of her actions.

"Raven, I've been going out of my mind since I woke up, not knowing where you were or if you were okay. Your communicator was here and you were gone. No one at the front saw you leave and had no idea where you'd gone. Don't do that to me again," he was downright pleading with her.

She looked around, finally noticing signs of what he had been saying. His clothes had been strewn about, her communicator sitting on top of the bed. He was dressed, though it was clear that his burn made it uncomfortable. She could see the faint lines of worry all over his face, along with a fair amount of fear. He had been about to run out and look for her, though he had no idea where to start, just to make sure she was okay. She wasn't sure how to feel.

"Okay," she finally said quietly. "I won't do that again. I'm sorry."

He stared at her, still holding on to her arm.

"Really, Beast Boy. I'm sorry."

He let go of her arm nodding, "Okay."

As he sat down on the bed with a wince, she watched him. "Why don't you get some sleep?" she asked him.

He looked up at her, disbelief in his face.

"I promise I won't go anywhere. But sleeping is what you need to feel better. Plus, you're fighting the spell, which is just a waste of energy on both our parts," she walked over towards him. "I can help you feel better, but you shouldn't be risking an infection or fever by running around."

She touched his forehead, he was starting to get warm. "You're already getting sick."

The glass on the nightstand was still untouched. She picked it up and handed it over to him, "Drink this. I'll get you another one."

"No," he said, taking the glass in one hand and her wrist in the other. "Just…"

He never finished his sentence, but she got the gist. She sat down next to him, feeling her own burn tug uncomfortably. Sleep probably wasn't a bad idea for her, either. But with Light on the loose, maybe they should take it in turns.

"What was Light doing?" he asked quietly, not looking at her.

She answered, "Just standing outside the complex."

"And why didn't you leave the second you saw him?" There was still a touch of annoyance in his voice.

"There was a family walking past. He...looked at them funny, so I wanted to make sure they got far enough away before I left."

Beast Boy yawned, "And he didn't make any move to attack you?"

"At the very end he started walking towards me, but the family was gone so I just teleported back here," she said.

"I still wish you hadn't gone," he said quietly. Raven could see him finally looking at her, but she didn't turn her head, "What if he had gotten a hold of you?"

Raven swallowed hard as Light's memories of Sue resurfaced. That poor woman. And Beast Boy was right, what if Light had been fast enough to catch her? She shuddered at the thought.

"What's wrong?" Beast Boy asked, "He didn't, did he?"

"No. Of course not," Raven said shakily.

Beast Boy shifted on the bed, looking at her closely, "What happened?"

"Noth-"

"Liar," he interrupted. Her mouth closed with a snap and he cajoled, "You can tell me, Rae. It won't leave this room."

She rubbed her forehead, closing her eyes. "I could hear what he was feeling. What he thought when he looked at the woman on the street and when he looked at me. It was…depraved. All he wanted to hurt others and get revenge. But not all for just revenge's sake. He liked hurting women. He remembered what happened to Sue with…pride. He enjoyed it." She opened her eyes, staring at her hands in her lap. "I caught a glimpse of what happened to Sue. Just a second of it. More than I wanted."

Beast Boy covered her hands, squeezing them beneath his.

"It's like he knew what I could do," Raven admitted. "Like he knew who I was and of my empathy. That he purposefully sent those thoughts and emotions to me to make me uncomfortable."

"Maybe he did," Beast Boy said, less than reassuringly. "We don't know exactly when he got his memories back. Maybe he did research on all the Titans before coming after us. Or just the ones who had come up against him before. You've gone against him a couple times, Rae. And you certainly got him good when he was muzzled."

She remembered that night with a mix of vindictive pleasure and embarrassment. That had been one of the first times she had lost control in front of her friends. But she had trampled Light pretty well, and that had almost been worth it.

Raven said, "Do you think-"

She was interrupted as both of their communicators went off at the same time. Beast Boy grabbed his from the floor with a wince, holding it up so both of them could see it. It was Robin, sending out a world-wide message.

Raven's heart stopped, _Dear Azar, please not another death_.

Beast Boy muttered under his breath, "Come on, not another Argent…" He flipped it open, seeing Robin on the other end, his face completely serious.

He was quiet for a minute, clearly waiting for the rest of the Titans to pick up. He nodded, "Good, I'm glad to have caught almost all of you. I hope everyone has gotten back to their Towers, or are on their way as we speak. Unfortunately, I do have some troubling news.

"I've been contacted by the Justice League with regards to Doctor Arthur Light. It seems that due to past fights with the JLA, the Doctor Light we've known has been but a weaker, lobotomized version. And somehow, Light has regained his faculties and memories, along with a hatred for the Justice League, the Titans, and anyone associated with either.

"You all now have strict orders to not engage Light by yourselves. If you must go after him, please do it in groups of no fewer than four. He is completely different than any of us remember. He's smart, he's cunning, and he's completely merciless.

"Additionally, no female heroes are to go anywhere alone, especially when within Light's vicinity. Always take someone else with you, preferably one of the male Titans. Females should not approach or engage Light, no matter what."

Raven could almost hear the outrage from the girls on the line. She got a vague sense of annoyance, but only because Robin's precautions were necessary.

Robin addressed those who were upset, "I am in no way underestimating your strength or your abilities. There's not one among you who isn't capable of defending herself. But Light has a reputation for taking advantage of every woman he can. You girls run a much greater risk than just being unmasked. Let's not take that risk by having you out there alone."

Beast Boy hands tightened reflexively on Raven's. She had forgotten that he was still holding her hands.

"My team will be regrouping and going after Light within the next few days. However, all of you should be on your guard. We may need those who are close enough to lend a hand, or he might move faster than we anticipated. Please, don't take risks and do not engage him. Good luck."

The message shut off. Robin was probably being pelted by calls from other Titans, wanting more information. Raven knew that he had shared everything with them already. There was no need for them to call him just yet. They could wait until he caught his breath and gave them a call to let them know what the next move was.

"Guess it's all official now," Beast Boy said, shutting the communicator and putting it on the nightstand.

"Guess so," Raven said. "Sounds like we're going to be here for a while, if Robin and the others are going to join us."

"Fantastic," Beast Boy muttered.

"Don't you want to bring down Light?" Raven asked.

"Of course," he said, "I just don't want to sit around until they get here."

Raven sat quietly for a minute. Then, "Well, he never said anything about tracking Light. We'll need to know where he is in order to go after him once they get here."

"True," Beast Boy smiled. "But we go together."

"I already promised you that we would," she reminded him.

"Just make sure you keep that promise," he said, standing up and letting go of her to move over to the other bed. Raven stared at her hands, confused as to why they suddenly felt so cold. "But I think I'll follow your advice and get some sleep. Like you should."

"One of us should keep an eye out for Light," she argued, rubbing her hands together.

He shrugged, leaning back carefully, "I figure, if he does manage to find us here, he'll make an entrance that we'll hear long before he can make it up to the room. No use wasting energy on him just yet."

He wasn't wrong. Light wasn't known for being subtle. Besides, who knew that they were there, other than Robin? The apartment had been miles away from their hotel, so there was really nothing for Light to go off of. And she was tired.

"I'll stay up for just a bit, then I'll go to sleep." When Beast Boy gave her a look, she couldn't help but smile and add, "I _promise_."

"Good," he said, settling more comfortably on the bed. "I pretty much just got you back, I'm not losing you to a jerk like Light."

She stared at him from her seat, indignant, "Beast Boy, you have not _got_ me."

"Don't worry about it, you've got me, too," he grinned at her from his position.

"You're delirious. Go to sleep." Raven smiled, standing up.

He chuckled, "If I'm delirious, you're in denial."

"Whatever," she told him, walking over to the bathroom. When she came out a few minutes later, he was still awake, but barely. She shook her head, "Go to sleep."

"Just making sure you weren't abseiling out the window," he mumbled, his eyes slipping closed.

"Wouldn't dream of it." she covered her mouth as she yawned. It was only three or so in the afternoon, but she felt like it was past midnight.

"Sleep," Beast Boy told her.

She crawled into her own bed, sliding beneath the covers and lying on her stomach. Her burn was managing fine, but she wouldn't bother it anymore than necessary. She closed her eyes, Beast Boy a few steps ahead of her if his gentle snores were any indication. Despite everything that happened today, she felt…comfortable now. She wouldn't examine too closely just what made her so comfortable. Not yet. Raven yawned again, sleep taking pity on her and coming quickly.


	12. Pyrophobia

All right. This has to be the last update until my finals are all done, which should be mid-next week. I'm sorry, but I have to get some actual scholarly writing done in order to, you know, graduate or whatever. I hope this can tide you over until my next update.

Still don't own the Titans. But if I get the chance, you can be assured I'll do my best to. Don't sue. I'm too stressed for that right now.

Pyrophobia. Fear of fire

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><p><em>Hands grabbed his skin, pulling and searing. He tried to fight, but he couldn't tell where the creatures were, not that it had made any difference earlier in the day. There was no air in the fire to scream, even if he wanted to. He could hear his friends yelling, but one voice yelled louder.<em>

_ "Raven!" Robin screamed._

_ She must have done something, because the next thing Beast Boy knew the army was gone completely from the room. Beast Boy dragged himself to his feet, staring at the girl they had risked their lives to save._

_ Raven turned to face them, "It has already begun." She pulled her hood back and Beast Boy was astonished by the defeated look on her face. "And there is no stopping what is meant to be."_

_ Robin was arguing with her, "You're willing to give up on everything all because of some prophecy you heard as a child? What if it's wrong?"_

_ Beast Boy couldn't stop staring at her. She was giving up? Just like that? That wasn't like her._

_She answered quietly, "Robin, I know what I know."_

"_I don't accept that," Robin snapped, "You can take control, you can make it not happen."_

"_I've known my whole life that this day was going to come. I tried to control the dark side of me. I tried to do good things. To fight evil and hope that would somehow make up for the horrible thing that I'm destined to do," Raven said, her voice still soft. She wasn't meeting anyone's eyes. Beast Boy realized with shock that she was terrified._

"_But no one knows their destiny. There are things you can't possibly know," Robin said._

"_There are some things I didn't know," she smiled shakily. "Like how I would make such wonderful friends. All I wanted was to make your last day perfect. Instead, you spent it worrying about me." She said it like it was her fault. Didn't she know that they would always be worrying about her?_

_Robin walked over and took her hand in his, "That's what friends do."_

_Beast Boy nodded behind Robin, wishing there was something he could say to convince her to just walk away from this._

_Stepping away, Raven let her hands fall out of Robin's, "And as my friends, you have to let me go."_

_He realized what she was going to do the moment before she did. He opened his mouth to shout out, but the wall of Raven's magic appeared before he could. Robin slammed his hands against it, but it didn't do any good. Raven was stronger. Stronger than any of them would ever admit. She could do what the prophecy said._

_She pulled her hood back up and began ascending the stone pillars. It was chaos inside the dark bubble. Cyborg and Starfire were bombarding the shield. Robin was throwing everything he had at it. Beast Boy transformed into a T-Rex, hoping it could do some damage to the wall as he ran into it. He could hear Raven beginning to chant._

"_The gem was born of evil's fire. The gem shall be his portal. He comes to claim, he comes to sire, the end of all things mortal." Beast Boy couldn't look away from her._

_Robin screamed out, "No!"_

_Beast Boy transformed back, losing his control as he heard Raven scream. He stared up at the statue, barely seeing Raven between the symbols that exploded from her body and spun around her._

_Starfire sobbed, "Raven!" She turned and hid her face against Robin's shoulder, but Beast Boy couldn't look away._

_Something fell out of Raven's hand as her body exploded into a bright light. He blinked, but didn't turn his head. He couldn't just let her fade away without someone bearing witness to it. She couldn't…she couldn't just vanish. He couldn't handle someone he else cared about just disappearing. And this was Raven. The girl who had always been there for him, when he was brave enough to knock. The girl who had always looked upon him with surprise when he invited her to join them or asked for her opinion. The girl who had always done everything she could and more to help the ones she cared about. And now she was just…gone._

_He knew he should be terrified as Trigon appeared. He knew he should be appalled as Trigon screamed about owning the world. But he couldn't stop staring at the spot Raven had disappeared. She was gone. They hadn't been able to save her._

_Raven was gone. _

He shot up, hissing as his burn protested the sharp movement. Raven was still in the room, curled up on her bed. Beast Boy stared at her, pushing away the images of his dream. That was the only bad side about only dreaming of real events- some of his real memories were worse than nightmares. He wiped his eyes, noting that there were still a few hours until dawn. He could go back to sleep, but only after he got some water.

Raven was mumbling in her sleep, probably having her own share of bad dreams. He wanted to wake her up, but considering she could react by throwing him out the window on accident, he decided not to.

Beast Boy grabbed the glass on the side of the counter, but it was lukewarm. He hated warm water and the tap wouldn't be much better. Looking at the map on the back of the door, he saw an ice machine a few rooms up. He grabbed his room key and the ice bucket, not bothering with a shirt at this hour. He opened the door, slipping out and making sure it closed as quietly as possible. Walking down the silent hall, he tried to wipe away his memories of the dream. He hated that one. It all ended up okay, sure. But that had been one of the worst days of his life. A young maid passed him, mumbling a good morning. Beast Boy smiled and returned it, noting that she looked exhausted with flyaway brown hair and dark eyes.

He filled up the ice bucket, wincing at how loud it sounded in the silence. One it was full, he padded back to the room. The carpet was rough beneath his feet, but to be sleeping in a place that actually had a bed and a bathroom was still a giant step up from most of his recent bedrooms. Beast Boy slipped the key in the door, balancing the bucket in one hand and opened the door with the other.

He stopped just inside the door and found Raven kneeling on the ground, looking at her communicator.

"What's wrong?" he asked, worried. "Did someone call?"

Raven looked up at him, wild-eyed. "Yes." She looked back to the screen and then up at him, "Or no." She put the communicator down, crawling back up to sit on the bed and rubbing her eyes, "I must have just dreamt it."

"What?" He asked, putting the ice on the counter and sitting across from her on his own bed.

Raven shook her head, so he just waited. He'd figured out enough from the girl in the past to know that if he waited long enough, and it was something that really bothered her, she would eventually tell him. Besides, they'd gone leaps and bounds during the day. He felt like he actually had his best friend back.

"Ever since Argent," she said quietly, "I've been having dreams of someone calling me to say that Phobia has broken out. She goes after our team and all of you are…" Raven cleared her throat as it wavered, "I'm told it's my fault. It always feels so real, that when I wake up, I have to check to make sure no one's called me."

He didn't envy her. That had to be painful. "Well, everyone is fine, so just try to get some sleep." He stood up and got some water, refreshed by the ice.

She smiled weakly, "That won't happen. It kind of sticks with me."

Downing his cup, Beast Boy got back into bed, "I'm still exhausted, so I'm gonna try to get a little bit more."

"Of course," she said. "I'll be here." She sat cross-legged on her bed, staring at the communicator.

Beast Boy closed his eyes, wanting to leave her be. She didn't want to sleep, that was fine. He couldn't blame her. He hated his nightmares, too. But he needed to rest. Really, she did too, but he wasn't her mother to tell her what to do.

He only lasted about three minutes before he opened up his eyes and saw her still sitting there, head bowed. She'd wrapped her arms around herself; at some point she must have taken off the sweatshirt because she was wearing a tank top now. She looked so small.

Sighing, Beast Boy sat up.

Raven glanced over, "Sorry, am I being loud?"

"You're barely breathing, I can't hear you at all."

"Then what's wrong?"

He gestured at her, "I can't sleep knowing you're all…"

"It's fine," she smiled, "I get this dream a lot."

That didn't make him feel any better. He stood up and crossed over to her bed, lying down next to her, to her obvious surprise.

"What do you think you're doing?" she asked him, edging away.

"Going to sleep. Now lie down," he told her.

Her eyes flashed in the way they did when she was annoyed, he hid a grin. "I'm not tired. Now get out."

"Nope," he yawned, putting his hands behind his head. "You could just lie down, get some sleep and make it easy on both of us."

"Or I could dump you out the window," she threatened, her hands crackling with magic.

He shrugged, ignoring his burn. "You could. But then I'd be even more badly injured." He was treading on thin ice and he knew it. But a little part of him recognized that he was having fun doing it. Shifting so he was on top of the sheet and underneath the comforter, he pushed both down for her. "Look, I'm not gonna besmirch your virtue." He ignored the face that she made at his use of the word 'besmirch'. "But we both need some sleep. This way, if you have another nightmare, you can wake up and see that I'm here and not have to go and check your communicator. And I can sleep without feeling guilty."

"You could just go to sleep and leave me alone."

"I could," he yawned again. "But it won't happen. Either we both sleep or we both don't. And you are the one who told me that we should try to sleep to ward off infection."

Her eyes sparked again, annoyed at her own words being used against her.

Beast Boy smiled and closed his eyes, relaxing. He heard Raven mutter something, but as he figured it was rude, he didn't try too hard to make it out. With a huff, she began getting under the covers.

"You better hope you wake up before I do," Raven told him.

The threat wasn't completely idle, but Beast Boy didn't worry too much about it. She wouldn't do any physical harm to him; at least, he was fairly certain she wouldn't. He waited until she stopped moving, lying on her stomach and facing away from him.

"'Night, Rae."

"Shut up."

He smirked, finding that sleep came much more quickly this time around.

A few dreamless hours later, Beast Boy felt himself waking up. He didn't know how long he had slept for, but he was feeling pretty good. He hadn't slept that deeply in a long time. Slowly, he opened his eyes, not entirely sure he wanted to get up. He was comfortable, but he could see the sun beginning to rise and knew they needed to get moving to find Light. He started to move Raven's hand off his chest and get-

Wait, what?

Beast Boy froze, knowing that if woke up Raven now, he'd be in a heap of trouble. Though, it didn't look to be entirely his fault.

Sometime during the night, the gap between them had vanished. Though Raven was still under both the comforter and the sheet, and Beast Boy only under the comforter, they were much closer. Or you know, right on top of one another. Raven's head was resting on his shoulder; she was curled up on her side, her hand resting on top of his chest. Her skin felt hot against his, like a little flame on him. He wasn't much better. His hand covered the tinier one on his chest, while his free arm had apparently developed a mind of its own and had wrapped around her shoulders, holding her tightly. He had no idea how to get out of this without waking her up. And if she woke up and realized he was awake and hadn't moved, he'd still be in trouble. Dammit…

Raven's communicator went off at the foot of the bed, making him jump and startling her awake. She blinked a few times, raising her head and looking Beast Boy in the eye. It only took her about a second to figure out what had happened, a bright blush spreading across her face. He opened his mouth to say something, _anything_, but nothing came out.

The communicator went off again, making them jump apart. Beast Boy got out of the bed completely, handing the communicator to Raven without a word. Still red, she opened it while Beast Boy retreated to one of the chairs.

"Raven." Robin's voice came through. "How are you?"

She cleared her throat, "Fine. Heard your message last night."

"Sorry I didn't call you before now, but I was a little busy. Is Beast Boy there?"

Raven didn't look up, but she nodded, "Y-yeah, he's right here."

"Are you okay? You look a little flustered."

Beast Boy chuckled, unable to smother it. It was a little funny.

She finally looked him in the eye, glaring. Her mouth twitched as if she thought about smiling. Beast Boy just grinned as Raven answered.

"I'm fine."

"Well, Cy, Star and I left a few hours ago. We should be there sometime tomorrow night, depending on how quickly Cyborg drives," Robin said.

"Beast Boy and I will be out tracking Light," Raven told him, much to Beast Boy's surprise.

There was silence on the other end for a moment. "I'm not sure that's such a good idea."

"We're not going to fight him. We're not even going to let him see us. But it's a waste of time for us to be sitting here, only to have to go looking for him when you arrive. The faster we take care of him, the faster we can all go home."

"Still, Light is a huge threat-"

"Which is why it's even more important that we find him and imprison him as fast as possible." Her tone didn't leave any room for argument.

When Robin changed the subject, Beast Boy knew that Raven had won. "Since I didn't get a call back yesterday, I assume you managed to talk Beast Boy out of going after Light?"

Raven's blush increased slightly, "Yes. He didn't go anywhere."

Beast Boy crossed his arms from his seat, staring at her. She studiously ignored him.

"Good. Glad to know I can count on you to be his voice of reason."

Beast Boy laughed out loud at that, making Raven blush harder.

"Everything all right over there?" Robin asked, making Beast Boy laugh even more.

"It's fine. Beast Boy's just being himself," Raven said. She hesitated, "Hang on a second."

She put the communicator down and looked at Beast Boy. "Would you mind going down and ordering us some breakfast?"

Instantly suspicious, Beast Boy narrowed his eyes, "What are you going to do?"

"I want…I need to ask him about what I saw. I need to know what happened to Sue Dibny," Raven said quietly.

He knew why. She had seen a second of it and now it was haunting her. Although knowing wouldn't change anything, it might make it a little easier on her mind. Plus, she had shown good insight in asking him to leave. He knew the gist of what Light had done. He didn't need to hear the details. He grabbed a clean shirt and pulled it on, slipping on his shoes. "Anything in particular you want?"

"Something warm."

He smiled at her as he left and she returned it, their embarrassment about the morning already put behind them. Beast Boy closed the door and headed towards the stairwell. He jogged down the stairs a few at a time, attributing his good mood to a good night's sleep. Grinning, he hopped down four stairs. A really good night's sleep.

Beast Boy wasn't blind. He'd always been aware that his female teammates were some of the prettiest girls he'd ever known. Starfire was just more obvious about it. She was always smiling and happy and kind to everyone. Her entire demeanor just heightened her physical appearance. But it'd also been obvious from the beginning that Star had eyes for Robin, and she was too much like a sister for Beast Boy to ever think of her in any other way.

Terra had been a different story. Puppy love made her the only thing in Beast Boy's eyes when he was younger. He'd been fourteen and she made it clear she liked him. It seemed pretty cut and dry to him. Of course, then she betrayed them, died, came back and feigned amnesia, so he had written her off a long time ago.

And then there was Raven. For a long time, he saw her face only rarely and only when she was being sarcastic. He deserved it, sometimes. She was isolated and not used to people, and Beast Boy wasn't the calmest person to get to know, especially when he had been thirteen. But as the years went on, he got to know her better. He appreciated her quiet beauty. It was understated and hidden, but it was still there. Beast Boy liked that she wasn't super-aware of it and using it to her advantage, like some other girls he had known. And he wasn't the only one who had noticed it. Aqualad and Adonis had made comments to her, which had always annoyed him.

He hadn't really thought about Raven in any way other than a teammate until this whole Brotherhood thing. Between the months leading up to the fight and then their dispersal around the world, he hadn't seen much of the team. When they actually started talking, he felt like he was getting to know her for the first time. And he liked who he was meeting.

She was still sarcastic and cynical, but it was fun – provided it wasn't aimed at him. She smiled and laughed more, still completely unaware of much it made her face light up. Now that he knew more about her, he understood why she had acted so distant and cold when they were younger. She recognized that his actions weren't always just immature and foolish. When they had both apologized, it soothed a lot of old hurts. After that, everything got a lot clearer.

Raven was his best friend now, surprising as it may be to his thirteen year old self. She knew things about him that no one else on the team did, just as he knew things about her. He trusted her. Worried about her. Cared about her. And it was in a way that was very different from the way he cared about Star or Terra.

He glanced up as he reached the lobby, walking over to the small restaurant and taking a menu. So yeah, waking up with a pretty girl in his arms had been awesome. Having that girl be Raven made it significantly awesome. Maybe once this thing with Light was over, if he didn't chicken out beforehand, he'd do something about it. But right now, they had to focus on Light. Complicating it with things he didn't know how to explain would just make it worse on both of them. Besides, Raven could be on a completely different wave-length than him, a thought which made him frown at the menu. Dammit.

"Hey," he said to the girl behind the counter, determined to think of something else, "do you have any tofu bacon?"


	13. Nyctophobia

Guys. You're awesome. Thank you so much for all the well-wishes on my finals. I'm pretty sure I passed everything, so that's cool. I hope this longer chapter makes up for my short absence.

I don't own the Teen Titans. Wish I did. It would make my night complete.

Nyctophobia. Fear of the dark

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><p>"When they got there and saw what was happening, they jumped on Light. Green Arrow said that Light fought like an elephant. They moved quickly, but it was too late for Sue," Robin said.<p>

"So how did Light come to be the way we used to know him?" Raven was sitting cross-legged on the bed, holding the communicator.

Robin looked uncomfortable in the screen, "Batman said that he wasn't absolutely certain-"

"You said he was there."

"Yeah," he said. After looking to his side, where Raven assumed Starfire and Cyborg were sitting, he continued, "Look, this doesn't go beyond our team, because Batman doesn't have the proof just yet. He…he believes that Zatanna made Light forget that night, but in doing so, accidently changed his very character."

Raven stared at him, "Why would the JLA condone that?"

"Because Light had just raped Elongated Man's wife. Because he knew where other superheroes' wives and daughters were," Robin said flatly. "Had they just sent him to jail, he would have broken out and gone after everyone they cared about. He bragged about it. It was his grand plan. The JLA couldn't kill him, so they took a vote."

"And Batman voted for this?" Raven asked, incredulous.

Robin took a breath, "Batman believes, and I agree, that he voted against it. And Zatanna wiped his memory of it, too."

She fell silent. The JLA was wiping memories of friends and enemies? Where would they stop? _Who_ could stop them if they decided that this was going to be their method now?

"I do know that the deciding vote was the Flash's. His wife had just been murdered around that time. He didn't want a similar thing to happen to anyone else." Robin's voice broke through her shock.

Raven could understand their motives, but still. "How many people have they done this to?"

"We don't know."

She sighed, rubbing her eyes. She could have sworn that things used to be more simple than this. "Thank you, for telling me."

"Wish I didn't have to," Robin said.

"Still. It's better that I know." She glanced up as the door opened and Beast Boy came in, balancing plates and followed by a hotel employee, "So you'll be here tomorrow night?"

"Yeah. Keep us updated on whatever you find out," Robin said, sensing the end of the conversation.

"I will. Drive safe."

"Tell that to Cyborg," he smiled.

"Bye."

Robin echoed her and Raven closed the communicator. She stood up to help Beast Boy, thanking the brunette girl who had accompanied him. Beast Boy turned to her, handing her a few bills, "Thanks for the hand. Aren't you the girl I saw earlier?"

"Yes," she said quietly, pocketing the bills.

"Well, hopefully you get off soon and can get some sleep. You look beat." He held the door open as she walked out.

"Just a few hours left. Thank you, have a nice morning," she smiled tiredly, but it made her seem a lot younger than she was. Raven smiled back and the girl left, Beast Boy shutting and locking the door behind her.

Drawn by the scent of breakfast, Raven went over to the multiple dishes. Beast Boy pulled the lounge chair over to the desk and began separating the dishes. Raven raised her eyes as he put plate after plate in front of himself. He nodded to the mug and the bowl, "Those are yours. And…" he peeked under a few lids, "and this."

She took the plate, "This is a lot of food."

"Yup," he grinned.

She examined what he had gotten for her; a mug of tea with a packet of honey, oatmeal with cinnamon and raisins on the side and a plate of waffles with what looked like…

She dipped her finger in the syrup, "Boysenberry?"

Beast Boy looked up from his swiftly disappearing meal, "Mhmm."

All of her favorites, with all her preferred toppings and sides. It was impressive. She tried to recall why it seemed so familiar, looking up at Beast Boy.

He never even glanced up from his plate, "You were in Dubai. I was in…"

"Guatemala. Yeah, I remember now," she cut up her waffles, pouring the syrup over them.

"We'd both been without food for a couple days and we were talking about our ideal meal," he said.

"Yours was…" she strained her memory, "tofu hotdog with mustard and relish, salad with extra cucumbers and ranch dressing, cut up kiwi, and a…vanilla Coke?"

He smiled, "Yup. And yours was you see in front of you."

"Hmm, if I recall, I also said that I'd want a fresh-"

She stopped as Beast Boy pulled a ripe, green pear out from beneath one of the lids. She knew she looked surprised when he chuckled.

"Yeah, it's okay to be shocked. I'm just so awesome."

She took it from him, rolling her eyes and sarcastically replying, "So modest, too. How are you still single?"

He shrugged, "Probably 'cause the only girl who could put up with me takes her job way too seriously to think about dating right now."

Raven looked up at him, startled. Sure, she would admit that there had been something beyond just friendship this morning when she had woken up this morning. But to have him suggest it so blatantly caught her by surprise. She felt the second blush of the morning spread over her face. How was she supposed to respond to that…? Tell him he was right? That he was wrong? Did she even know which answer was the right one?

"So did the Boy Wonder have anything to say that would interest me?" Beast Boy asked, thankfully changing the subject.

"U-umm," she turned her attention back to her meal , avoiding looking at him, "apparently the Justice League has been performing magical lobotomies on villains. And possibly Batman."

She could feel him staring at her, but she didn't look up. "What?"

"Robin said that the JLA voted to have Light's memory altered, so he wouldn't go after other wives or daughters. But it changed his very nature. Batman was against that vote, and he believes that his memory was wiped as well," Raven said, running a piece of her waffle through the lines of syrup.

"How did he find…never mind. World's greatest detective and all that," Beast Boy trailed off, finishing his own meal in thoughtful silence.

"They'll be here tomorrow night," she added, beginning to work on her oatmeal.

"Yeah, heard that bit." He stood up, piling his empty plates together. "I'm gonna jump in the shower. The girl…totally forgot her name, she said to just leave the plates outside the door when we're finished."

"All right." She didn't look up as Beast Boy grabbed a pair of pants and walked into the bathroom. As soon as the door shut, she put down her empty bowl, sat back in her chair and gave in to the shock.

What the hell had that been about? Just his usual banter? He'd made similar kinds of jokes when they had been traveling, but they had been obviously jokes. This one, not so obvious. And she hadn't gotten the same humorous twinge to his aura that she did before. So had he been serious? Did he really see her like that?

She would admit, silently and when she was completely alone, that she hadn't entirely hated his rather forward actions last night. She had slept better than she had in months and she knew that a large portion of that was thanks to Beast Boy sleeping next to her. And clearly, both of their subconscious selves had been receptive to one another. Not that she had a bunch of practice with sleeping with someone, but she knew from the way she felt usually that too much physical contact left her feeling caged in and trapped. But the only thing she had felt upon waking had been…comfort.

Beast Boy was her best friend. She knew that. Even when they hadn't been talking, he had been her best friend. He knew her better than anyone else, and that fact didn't scare her as much as it used to. She could trust him.

The door behind her opened and she jumped. Beast Boy walked past her, picking out a clean shirt from the plastic bags and glancing up at her, "Shower's all yours."

He started to pull the shirt over his head and Raven stood up, "Wait."

With his head halfway through, he froze, "Why?"

She couldn't help but smile at his ridiculous position, "Let me fix up your burn a little." She walked over to him, taken by surprise as he stepped away.

"Nah, it's okay. I'm good," he told her.

"Don't be ridiculous. It won't take that much energy and it'll hurt less."

"Doesn't hurt at all."

"Beast Boy."

"Seriously," he was tangled a bit in his shirt, struggling to finish putting it on, "I'm fine. Take care of yourself."

"I will. After you." She glared as he continued to try and scurry away from him. "This is stupid. I could make you stand still, you know."

"I know."

"So just stand still!"

He sighed, finally stopping. "Fine. God, you're stubborn."

"Have to be, to put up with you," she muttered.

Beast Boy chuckled and she lightly put her fingers on his burn. She was more concerned with the inner damage than the outer, so she focused her energy on that. It lasted only a few seconds, but she could feel Beast Boy breathing easier. It was a far cry from the first time she had seen the wound – Light had burned through all the layers of skin and most of the muscle. If she hadn't had her powers, he probably would have had permanent damage, if he hadn't died from blood loss.

The thought made her shake a little as she stepped back.

"Are you okay?" he immediately asked.

Did he miss nothing? "I'm fine. How do you feel?"

"Fine, but are you sure you're okay?" he pressed.

"I'm fine. Really," she smiled.

"Good," he said. "Now, could you give me a hand? I think I'm…"

"Stuck?"

"Momentarily inconvenienced, I would call it," he said, the words muffled as he continued his battle with his shirt.

She found the collar and tugged it over his head. Beast Boy grinned at her as he broke free, "Thanks."

Raven felt another blush begin building up. She took the opportunity to turn away from him by grabbing her clothes and heading into the bathroom. "Be out in a bit."

She closed the door, annoyed at herself for reacting so obviously. In her defense, he had grown up in the year they had been apart. He wasn't so little and gangly anymore. She had to look up to see him, though she had to look up at everyone now, including Robin. And he was a lot stronger than he used to be, not that she needed the protection. She remembered Light and grumpily amended that she didn't _usually_ need the protection.

She stepped into the shower, trying to wash away her confusion in the stream of water. It didn't totally work, of course. But it left her feeling a bit more able to handle him.

"So," he said, lying back on the bed, "where are we gonna start?"

She assumed he was talking about finding Light. "I can track his mind. But I'll need to get to the center of the city. That'll be my best chance of finding him."

"Sounds boring." Beast Boy stood up, walking over towards the window.

"Mmm, because our jobs should provide you with eternal excitement." She followed him.

Beast Boy handed over his shirt and transformed into a hawk. Raven picked up his jeans and floated outside after the green bird.

He led the way unerringly to the tallest building in the city. Luckily for them, the top of it had a small radio tower and creating a large cup-style platform, much like a crow's nest on a ship. Beast Boy landed as his hawk form on the edge, watching her as she landed.

"You want to change back? This might take a while," Raven said.

The hawk nodded – weird – and Raven put his pants and shirt on the ground, turning her back to give him what little privacy she could. She heard the rustle of denim.

"Kind of cold up here, huh?" Beast Boy said.

"Little bit."

"I'm set, now."

She turned around and sat on the ground, the walls of the platform hiding them from the worst of the wind. She folded her legs into the lotus position and closed her eyes, breathing in deeply so-

"So what do I do?" Beast Boy asked.

She sighed, opening her eyes. "You're to remain quiet, so I can find Light in the mess of a city. When I have a general idea of where he is, you can go and see if you can track him. I'll remain here until you get a visual on him. Then I'll come and join you and hopefully be able to figure out where he's been staying."

"How will you know when I've found him? I'll be in an animal form and won't be able to talk."

She tilted her head. "You could land and shift, but you might lose him…"

He waited, not exactly patiently, but silently.

Raven didn't exactly love the idea, but she suggested it anyway, "I could make a link. You could talk to me, even in animal form."

"A link. Like…I could send you thoughts? Or you can read my mind?" he asked.

She tilted her head, "A mixture. I could get strong thoughts or images from you without you intending them to be sent, if I looked. If you focus a thought and send it to me, I'll receive it clearly."

"After you make this…link, will it be there forever?"

"Yes," she said calmly. "However, you know that I would never invade your privacy. I have a similar link with Robin and used it only once in my entire life, to save him."

Beast Boy stared at her. "All right. Sure."

"Sure?" She was a little nonplussed.

He shrugged and sat down next to her, "I trust you."

Raven turned slightly to face him, "Okay. All you need to do is relax." She reached out her hand towards his forehead.

"Wait!" He grabbed her wrist, stopping her.

Startled, she stared at him, "What?"

"If you get any…inappropriate thoughts from me, _ever_, you can't get angry at me because of them," he told her. "Okay?"

She smirked, "I won't get angry. I may use them as blackmail."

His mouth twisted up in almost a smile, "Deal."

Raven touched his temples with her middle and ring fingers on both sides, closing her eyes.

"What do I-"

"Shh," Raven mumbled. "Quiet."

It wasn't any large magic to create a link in someone's mind. She was an empath, thoughts and emotions were already part of her powers. However, she would never create this sort of link without permission. Except in Robin's case, where it had been a life or death decision. It took just a subtle push to connect a tendril of her own power to Beast Boy's brain. Not too deeply, just on the edge. She didn't want to receive any wayward thoughts. Just those he was sending to her.

_Beast Boy?_

He jumped, "Woah. That's a little trippy."

Raven laughed, out loud, not in his head. That might have bothered him a little too much. _Try to send a thought to me._

"What should I-"

_Silently, please._

"Umm…" _Testing, testing, one, two, three?_

She withdrew her fingers and opened her eyes. "Good. You catch on quick."

"You ever talk to Robin like this?" Beast Boy asked.

"Just the once, when he thought he saw Slade," Raven told him. "Never since then. Robin's mind is…not someplace I would choose to spend time."

"All right. So now, you're gonna look for Light?"

"Mhmm."

"How?"

Raven settled against the cold wall, "His mind had a unique signature. I can search for it without too much difficulty."

"You sure you want to do this?" Beast Boy asked. "I mean, that guy's mind can't be a day at the fair."

"No, it isn't. But it needs to be done." She closed her eyes and Beast Boy didn't interrupt her again.

She let herself fall into her own mind, ghosting over the minds of the city. Someone's mind was like a little snapshot of themselves. If a person was vain, there was rarely a thought that wasn't. If a person was selfish, their thoughts reflected that as well. It was a gift and a curse for Raven to know just what someone was like upon first meeting them. She thought back to those who had confused her – Terra, Slade and…Beast Boy. Raven enlarged her circles of the city, still searching.

Until they had made that connection between their minds, Raven had never been able to get the clearest read on Beast Boy. She suspected that he had some training with meditation and clearing one's thoughts. Especially with someone like Mento as a teacher. While her training had been in controlling her own power, Beast Boy's training seemed to have been focused on keeping people out. For him to allow her in, after so many years of keeping everyone away from his head, that had to say something.

Raven caught the slightest twinge from the downtown sections of the city. She followed her instincts, letting the winds carry her closer and closer. She tried not to flinch away from it, but the smell from Light's mind…the aura of it…it was rotten. Literally. There would be no reasoning with this man, when the time came.

"Downtown," she whispered, not letting go of her trail on Light's mind. "South-east. Street name…Joshua Road."

"On it."

She vaguely heard the sound of his undressing and changing. There was no sound of him leaving, but Raven felt his presence disappear. She kept an eye on Light, her job was to keep Beast Boy on the right track.

Light's mind suddenly stopped and shifted gears. He must have seen a pretty girl, because Raven found herself shuddering at his thoughts.

_You okay?_

She was surprised that Beast Boy picked up on that. Usually, she was the one picking up stray thoughts, not the other way around. She had better control.

_I'm fine. Light's changing direction._

_Give me a heading, cap'n._

She waited, making sure. _South. Along Fifth_.

Light continued unerringly, the girl was soon gone from his thoughts. Unfortunately, it was just replaced with other sick fantasies. Raven drew away as far as she could without losing a link with Light.

_Left up ahead. On Terry Lane._

_Aye, aye. So, no wayward thoughts from me yet, right?_

_No, Beast Boy. Do you have a visual on him?_

_No, not ye- wait._

She held her breath as Beast Boy fell silent.

_Yeah._ The tone of his mind changed drastically. _Yes, I see him._

_What's he doing?_

_Nothing. Just walking. Looking at people. Hey. Dammit, man, that girl is probably not even sixteen, you sick, goddamn, fuc-_

_Beast Boy._

…_I'm fine._

She waited, knowing that something had to happen eventually. Beast Boy continued trailing Light for the next ten minutes, with nothing to show for it. She felt Light's mind pause.

_I think he's about to-_

_He's stopped_. Beast Boy interrupted.

_Where?_

_Outside a hotel. Umm, one sec. Yeah, a Motel 6._

_Why?_ Raven couldn't think of a reason why Light would just be stopping outside a hotel.

Beast Boy had a rush of understanding so strong that Raven felt it. _What is it?_ She asked him.

_He's looking for us, Rae. He's searching for us_. Beast Boy's mind was concerned, but not overly so.

_Well, he hasn't found us yet. Just keep watching._ Raven told him.

_Duh._

They kept at it for hours. Light walked from one hotel to another, standing outside of them for a few minutes each. He just stared up at the hotel names, glancing occasionally at the people who walked out the front doors, but nothing else. When it began to get dark, Light glanced up at the sky and Raven got a small thrill of fear from him.

She smiled vindictively and hummed in satisfaction.

_What?_

Raven watched Light move faster than he did earlier in the day. _He's afraid of the dark. Even after all these years, he's still afraid of the dark._

_Good._ Beast Boy's voice sounded just as happy about that fact. _We'll need whatever we can when we go up against him._

_I'm sure Robin's got some tricks for knocking out lights. Making it pitch black_. Raven thought. We should go after him in the night. _Any time we can exploit his fear, we should._

Light returned towards the downtown section of the city. Beast Boy followed him closely, seeing Light head into an office building.

_Looks abandoned._

_Aren't they always? _Raven thought.

_All right. Looks like he's settling in for the night_. Beast Boy told her._ I'm going to hang out over here for an hour or so. Make sure he doesn't leave._

_I'll be here. Don't think you're sending me home early._

Even through his mind, the sigh of exasperation was obvious, _Fine. Just tell me if he takes a back way out._

_Of course._

The first fifteen minutes of their hour passed uneventfully. Light wasn't moving, his mind was slowing down into a pattern that Raven recognized as tiredness. Unfortunately, she also recognized the pattern that followed that tiredness.

_Oh…really?_ She muttered.

_What?_ Beast Boy sounded concerned, _What is it? Is he running?_

_No. He's…he's…getting busy._

_Alone, right? There's no one in there with him, right?_ He was ready to run inside right then and there.

_No. He's alone._

_Oh. Really, Rae? 'Getting busy'? That's your euphemism for…umm…_

_Uhuh, who's the prude now?_ Raven thought right back at him. She turned her mind's eye back to Light and immediately regretted it.

_Ugh!_ She withdrew from his mind and almost completely out of the building.

_What?_

_Nothing. Listen, he's not going anywhere for a while. I think we can leave. Start again early in the morning._

Beast Boy sounded concerned. _You okay?_

_Yes. He's just… _Raven felt gross and violated, without ever actually being touched, _he's thinking…thinking about me._

_Oh. Gross._

_Extremely._

_Well…try to block it out, okay? We've gotta stay. We have to make sure he doesn't leave. We have to._

_I know. I'll just…hang back a little._

_Don't blame you._

She stayed back, like she said. Though she unfortunately did catch some of the louder emotions rolling off of Light. And the impression that she got…well, she didn't think that Light's fantasy had ended with sex. Not from the brief flash of scarlet and a scream that she overheard from his head. She flinched, unable to help it.

_Geez, you okay? If you were a dog, your hackles would be all the way up._

_Just uncomfortable. Where are we in our hour?_

_Almost there._

Raven just grit her teeth and sat through the next fifteen minutes, trying to pretend she hadn't seen what she had. Slowly, Light's mind wore down, falling asleep and swiftly after into REM sleep. She withdrew from that quickly, not wanting to know what Light's subconscious could dredge up.

_He's asleep. _Raven finally told him.

_About time. On my way back to you._

_ All right._ She severed her ties completely, opening her eyes. She tried to stand and quickly fell over. Her muscles were almost completely stiff and frozen from her day on the roof. She rubbed at her legs roughly, trying to work some warmth back into them. By the time a green hawk landed, she was standing tall, if a little stiffly. He didn't shift back.

"Back to the hotel, then," Raven said tiredly. She had a headache from their work today, but it wasn't anything she couldn't handle. The two of them flew there silently, not talking despite their new ability to do so.

They didn't use the main doors of the hotel, but instead entered through their hotel room window. Kept the questions down. She put Beast Boy's clothes on his bed, glancing at the bird that hopped into the room.

"I'm going to jump in the shower for a minute," she said.

The bird nodded – still weird – and Raven grabbed clean clothes, shedding her sweatshirt as she entered the bathroom.

The hot shower worked wonders on her shoulders, back and legs. Raven could feel her disgust from the day being washed away. She wouldn't forget it, no. But she could put it in the past.

Beast Boy jumped into the shower after her and she ordered some food for them while he was in there. They ate quietly. Both worn out, even though it hadn't been too physically taxing. Such mental effort took a good toll on her. And she knew that shifting wore on Beast Boy after a while. Their plates were cleaned in record time, set outside their door before Beast Boy locked it and put the chair up against it again. Raven appreciated that. She had done a similar thing when she had the means during her travels.

Raven could feel the tension building as she and Beast Boy got ready for bed. Neither one of them spoke much, though Beast Boy made her laugh by bringing up the time Mumbo tried turning him into animals.

"I would have liked to see the look on his face," Raven said as he related the tale.

"It was pretty awesome. Until he turned me into a lamp."

She chuckled, "That was still pretty awesome."

Rolling his eyes good-naturedly, Beast Boy said, "Yeah, yeah. Everyone was glad I had shut up for a while."

She considered the pros and cons and decided it was worth it, "You remember the comment you made about Robin and the bananas?"

"'Yes, you have no bananas'?"

She nodded, "I have to admit, I laughed. I don't know why, as it was pretty juvenile. But for some reason it just caught me at the right moment."

"So the one time you laugh, you wait years to tell me?" Beast Boy asked, mock-offended. "I could have stopped trying so hard!"

"Well, I'm glad you didn't," Raven said quietly.

He glanced up at her and smiled, "Yeah. Me too." He looked at the beds, "All right, I'm just gonna come out and say it instead of this awkwardness. I slept better last night than I have in months."

"Me too," she smiled at his bluntness. Sometimes it was abrasive, but other times, like now, it just ended unnecessary tension. A knot loosened in her stomach as he grinned.

"Fine. So we won't say anything else about it, but…" he motioned for her to get into bed first.

"Sounds like a plan." Raven got beneath both covers on her side of the bed as Beast Boy turned off the lights. It got almost pitch dark in the room, but she felt Beast Boy climb into the bed next to her. She felt herself relax significantly as he settled himself. Again, another thing that would have to be examined after Light was apprehended.

"Goodnight," she told him, closing her eyes and sighing.

She could hear his smile, "Goodnight."


	14. Phonophobia

Action begins picking up soon, promise. And my chapters seem to be getting longer. So that's good. :)

I don't own Teen Titans. They belong to Warner Brothers and DC Comics and other awesome people. I do own the Beast Boy bobble-head, thought. And no, you can't sue me for it. So there.

Phonophobia. Fear of noises or voices

* * *

><p>A pounding on the door had Beast Boy awake and tensed instantaneously. Instinctually, he pulled Raven closer before realizing that they had once again gotten nearer during the night. She was as awake as him, but there was no time to be embarrassed. They had more important things to worry about.<p>

Raven extricated herself from his embrace, standing up and staring at the door.

Beast Boy eyed it and said, "I doubt Light would be knocking."

She nodded, but there were still sparking lines of magic along her fingers. He didn't blame her, he felt as if hackles were up all down his neck and back. Still, he walked over to the door and glanced through the small peephole.

Shocked, he pulled the door open to reveal a member of the city's police.

"My name is Officer Campbell," the man said, the shadows under his eyes obvious in his pale, paunchy face.

"Hi. I'm Beast Boy, and this is Raven," he gestured to her as she stepped to his side. "What can we do for you?"

"Sorry to have woken you so early," Campbell said, not sounding that sorry, "but there's a situation at the hospital and the victim asked for you."

"What sort of situation?" Raven asked, grabbing jeans and a jacket. She went into the bathroom, but left the door ajar so she could hear Campbell's answer.

Campbell's voice got monotonous, as if he was reciting something, "A girl was dropped off very late last night, beaten pretty badly. Examinations revealed that she had been raped."

Beast Boy's stomach dropped to his feet as he heard the last word, "Who was she?"

"Her name is Martha Staffers."

Raven exited the bathroom, her pale countenance proving that she had also heard Campbell's report. She glanced at Beast Boy as he walked past her on his way to change quickly.

"And she asked for us?" Raven asked, pulling on a pair of shoes.

Beast Boy yanked on his clean clothes and grabbed his communicator and room key. Raven did the same as Campbell answered, "Yeah. Soon as she woke up. You know her?"

"No," Raven admitted.

Beast Boy's mind turned a mile a minute as they rode the elevator down into the lobby. Rape victim who asked for him and Raven. Had to be Light's work. But why this Martha girl? Why not attack one of them directly?

It was overcast and drizzling when they got outside. A police cruiser was a few yards away from the front door, so they jogged towards the car. Still, all of them were a bit damp by the time they got into the car.

Campbell's partner was a tiny Hispanic woman named Luna. She started the police car as soon as she saw them coming. Beast Boy and Raven slid into the back seat, behind the protective mesh.

"No one saw who dropped her off?" Beast Boy asked, his fingers drumming on the seat. He could have flown there faster, but from the way it sounded, it was too late to do anything for this girl now.

"No. There are cameras on the exits, but the screen stops at the end of the emergency driveway. Staffers was dropped off just beyond that. Easily seen form the door, but not caught on camera," Luna said as she turned onto the highway.

"How badly beaten was she?" Raven asked, her voice composed, if quiet.

"Some broken bones. Lots of fractures. Clothes were a mess. Barely more than rags. Doctors said they might be able to save her eyes." Campbell stared out the window as he responded.

Raven hesitated, "How old?"

Campbell was silent, so Luna eventually answered, "Just seventeen."

Beast Boy's claws dug into the seat. _Seventeen_?

Raven put her hand over his, squeezing his fingers. He relaxed his grip on the seat, turning his hand palm up so he could entwine his fingers with hers. She looked at him, understanding all over her face.

"And someone just left her outside the hospital?" Raven asked.

"Yes. She was unconscious, somebody just dumped her off and left."

Beast Boy wasn't surprised. Raven looked out the window, silent as they continued the trip there.

Once at the hospital, Beast Boy got nervous. He hated them. Hated the smell, the feeling, the people. The smell of sickness and death was bad, but at least that was all natural. The antiseptic made his nose hurt and burn, his eyes water. He hated it.

But…things had to be done. Beast Boy wiped excess water from his hair, avoiding the hospital for just a second longer. Then, he clenched his teeth and fists and started in, Raven following behind the cops who were leading the way. He had a job to do.

They were led up to the third floor. ICU. Campbell and Luna stopped outside a private room. "Here she is."

Raven looked in through the window and Beast Boy stepped up next to her. Martha's face had gauze wrapped around her eyes, and she was turned away from them.

"Can we speak with her?" Beast Boy asked quietly.

"Yes," the officer said. "But try not to agitate her."

Raven glanced at Luna and Campbell, "You've gotten her entire report? Everything that happened to her?"

"Yes. Why?" Luna asked.

Raven looked back inside. "I might be able to help her. But it might make details a bit vaguer."

"You can help that girl?" Officer Campbell asked. "Really? Make it go away?"

Raven looked at the officers, "Nothing can ever make that go away. But I can help her. Make it less…fresh in her mind."

"Do what you can," Campbell said.

Raven led the way into the room, Beast Boy right on her heels. Martha stirred and turned her head to face them and Beast Boy felt his breath catch.

He stared at Martha Staffers, a brunette girl with flyaway hair. The girl he had seen late the other night, the one who had helped him carry his breakfast upstairs. He had forgotten her name. He couldn't believe he hadn't remembered her name.

"Martha?" Raven said quietly.

The girl stirred, though both her eyes were covered by gauze, "Who is it?" Her voice was raspy, as if she had been screaming.

Beast Boy clenched his fists, feeling sick.

"My name is Raven. I'm in the room with the green man, Beast Boy." Clearly Raven had figured out where they knew Martha from.

Martha turned her head towards Raven's voice. "So you came."

"Can you tell me who did this to you?"

"He said you'd know," Martha whispered, her voice wavering.

Raven touched Martha's hand, "What else did he say?"

"He…he said that I wasn't really who he was looking for, but that I'd do. That she was to realize that he meant for her to see herself in me. And that the boy should recognize that he'll be helpless to stop it," Martha recited it all without feeling, as if she'd been forced to repeat it.

Beast Boy knew exactly who Light meant by 'her' and 'the boy'. And there was no way in hell he'd let himself be helpless to help Raven.

"He said that maybe he would have let you live, like…like me." Martha was looking at Raven without eyes. "But you two walked away first."

"We walked away?" Raven asked out loud.

He caught up with Light's train of thought. "In all of his other recent fights with the Titans, Light left the fight first. He chose when to leave. When you and I fought him, we left first, before he let us."

"He says he wanted you to know what awaited you. This for her, while the boy watches, and then he'll kill both of you."

Beast Boy looked away from Martha as tears began to seep out from beneath the gauze. Light was a goddamn monster.

"Can you tell me where and when this happened?" Raven asked.

Martha shook her head, so Raven said quietly, "I know it hurts, but please, if you remember anything else, please tell me."

"I was getting off work at the hotel yesterday morning. I went to my other job at the drug store. When I got off there, about midnight, he was waiting outside," Martha finally told her.

"Anything else?"

"No," Martha whispered. "Wait. Yes. He called me…his blue star."

Beast Boy looked at her, "Blue Star? As in Blue Star Hotels?"

Raven looked back at him. _He went to a dozen hotels yesterday. Not ours. He went to sleep. Deep sleep. He shouldn't have been able to get up, find out where that girl worked and attack her._ She thought to Beast Boy.

_So…_ Beast Boy thought back, _He either knew where we were staying before yesterday and he was just playing with us, assuming that we'd be following him. Or…picking her up was a coincidence and when he found out where she worked, he used her as a message to us._

Raven asked Martha an odd question, "The man who approached you outside you work, was that the same man that did this to you?"

Martha frowned, "Yes. Unless he had a twin brother."

"He wore the same clothes, acted exactly the same?" Raven pressed.

"Yes…? At first he wasn't trying too much to touch me. He just grabbed me and put something in me," she gestured to the side of her neck. Beast Boy could see a small red dot. Injection? Light injected something? "It got all hazy and I was dizzy and he pulled me along. When we got there, he put me in a room and locked the door. When he came back…"

Beast Boy walked a little closer to Martha, subtly breathing deeply. Beneath the antiseptic and plastic that dominated all hospitals, he could scent Light all over the girl. But Raven wasn't entirely wrong. There was someone else's scent on her as well. He couldn't tell who. Could be someone working with Light, could just be her boss or a friend.

_There may have been someone else._ He said silently to the empath. _But I have no idea who. What're you thinking?_

_Don't know. Just odd that Light awakes from a deep sleep to run to a drugstore with an injection ready and attack a girl who knew where we were staying. That took planning._ Raven kept her face composed, though Beast Boy could tell she was worried.

_You think he's working with someone?_

_I don't know._ Raven thought. _But we should move hotels to be safe._

"Listen, Martha. I can help you." Raven sat on the edge of the bed, holding Martha's hand. "I can fix your eyes and a few of your hurts, though you'll have to stay here for a while longer."

Martha didn't respond.

"Also, I can help your mind. I can take away some of it," Raven told her.

"You can?" Martha whispered.

"I can't make you forget entirely, but I can make it seem far away. I can make it hurt less to remember." Raven touched Martha's temple. "Would you like me to do that?"

"Please," Martha asked, her voice shaking.

Raven closed her eyes and Beast Boy saw her fingers begin to glow white-hot. He walked outside of the hospital room and flipped open his communicator. Robin answered almost immediately.

"Beast Boy?"

"Yeah. Listen, we need to make reservations somewhere else. Discreet, with as few people knowing we're moving as possible," Beast Boy said, not feeling like chit chat. "Light may have found out where Rae and I were staying. Attacked a maid. We're here at the hospital with her now."

"Did he…?"

"Yeah," Beast Boy said shortly. "Rae's in there with her now, doing magic to heal her up and take away some of the memories. Light may or may not be working with someone. We don't have much to go off of other than a feeling."

"I'll make the changes and let you know where we're moving to," Robin said. "If you two go back there," he knew there was no 'if' at all- he and Raven would go back there, "be careful. Let me know if you discover anything about an accomplice."

"How far away are you guys?"

"About three more hours."

"Okay," Beast Boy saw Raven started to stand in Martha's room and quickly ended the call with, "Call me as soon as you know something."

He barely heard Robin's farewell as he saw Raven take a shaky step and grab the edge of the bed frame. He ran inside helping her to a chair, "What's wrong?"

"Just tired," she told him, her voice small.

Beast Boy glanced at Martha. "How is she?"

"Sleeping. She should for a few hours. When she wakes up, her eyes will be fine," Raven said.

"Wow. Maybe you should've been a doctor, huh?" Beast Boy said quietly.

Raven shook her head, "Can't. Takes a lot to heal people. I'd be useless after just one patient." She rubbed her eyes and Beast Boy got a weird sensation from her. "Can we leave now, please?"

"Yeah," he said immediately, not liking the tone in her voice. "Of course. We'll leave right now."

He walked over to the door, "Officers?"

Officers Campbell and Luna turned towards them, "Yeah?"

"We've done all we can," Beast Boy said, holding the door open as Raven walked out. She was visibly shaking.

"What can you tell us?" Campbell said.

"You got the file that the Titans sent your department on Doctor Arthur Light?" he asked.

"Yes."

"That's who did this. There may have been someone else involved, but we have no idea who. If you find out anything from the security feeds outside the pharmacy, would you let us know?"

"Of course. This guy's got it out for you two, huh?" Luna said, glancing at Raven.

"Apparently," he said, following her gaze, "we've got the rest of our team coming up today. Hopefully we can stop him before anyone else gets hurt."

"Do you need a lift back to the hotel?" Campbell offered.

He took a glance at Raven's face. She didn't want to hear the inevitable questions the officers would ask. "We'll just catch a cab. Thanks for your help."

"Be careful. Call us if you need anything," Luna said.

Beast Boy nodded, thanking her. Slowly, he and Raven made their way back downstairs and out the front. The rain was coming down harder, so they hid beneath the canopy of the hospital before he could hail the cab. Once they finally found one, the duo jogged over and slid in the back, Beast Boy giving the address of their hotel and sitting back.

Raven was silent, both in voice and mind. He couldn't hear anything from her. Not that he was trying too hard. She seemed honestly surprised when he picked up on her emotions; apparently that wasn't supposed to happen. So he didn't want to push it, not when she seemed so…raw. She wasn't moving, barely breathing, she just constantly kept tapping her index finger on her leg. Her shoulders were hunched in on themselves and she was screaming 'leave me alone' with her body language. He could respect that, for the moment. But he knew Raven. Her natural response was always to withdraw in herself, whether or not it was the best thing for her at the time.

His communicator beeped and he flipped it open. It wasn't a call, but a message.

'New hotel. 5617 Mossman Avenue. Two rooms. Under my name. Be there in two and a half hours. See you there. –Rob'

He showed it to Raven, who blinked at it and then nodded her head before turning back to the window.

They were dropped off right outside the front doors. No big deal if they were seen going inside, as they'd be leaving again soon. Still, they moved quickly inside, avoiding any of the staff and taking the stairs. They got back into their room without encountering anyone.

"Stay here for the next hour or so, then we'll head out and try to meet up with the others," Beast Boy said, watching Raven carefully.

She just nodded and started gathering up her clothes, packing them into her backpack.

"Raven, what's wrong? What happened in there?" he asked.

"I'm going to take a shower," she said, almost resigned.

"Rae…"

She turned and attempted a smile. "I'm going to take a shower. I promise we'll talk when I'm done, okay?"

No, not okay. But he nodded. She walked by him and touched his shoulder. The bathroom door shut and the sound of running water sounded soon after.

Beast Boy packed up their things into Raven's backpack. It looked fuller than it did when they had left. He cleaned up the room as best he could, making the beds, cleaning up the desk.

It was only after he had scribbled all over the free paper with the complimentary pen that he realized Raven had been in the bathroom for a while. He stood up, walking over to the door and listening. The water cascaded down into the porcelain, constant, unbroken. Not the sound of someone taking a shower, where the water got interrupted by a body in the way. A mumble broke his concentration and Beast Boy frowned at the door.

"Rae?"

There wasn't an answer. He tried the knob and it turned easily beneath his fingers. She hadn't locked the door. He hesitated, leaving the door closed but not relinquishing the knob. "Raven? Everything okay in there?"

She didn't answer him, but he did hear her mumble something. And it sounded something like, "See you later."

Yeah, screw privacy.

He shoved the door opening, not knowing what he might see. What he didn't expect to see was Raven sitting in the lotus position on the bath mat, fully dressed and not even flinching when the door bounced off the wall with a slam. He froze, wondering who had spoken until he saw Raven's mouth moving quietly.

"Raven?" he asked, not sure what was happening.

She didn't respond to him, but that didn't mean she wasn't talking.

"Hello? Who's there?"

Beast Boy turned off the shower and leaned on the edge of the sink. Clearly, Raven had done something intentionally. He wasn't going to interrupt her. But he wasn't going to leave her there alone, without watching out for her. He wanted to know what was going on.

Raven's eyes were closed, but her eyes were clearly moving rapidly behind her lids. Her hands were resting palm up on her knees, occasionally twitching, but not moving too often. She seemed calm…ish. She was in control of whatever she was doing.

"Max?" Raven whispered. "Stop it, this isn't funny."

As far as Beast Boy knew, she didn't know a Max. None of them did. So…she was listening to someone else's thoughts? But who-

"Oh no. No…" Beast Boy groaned, "Tell me you're not, Rae."

"Hello? Hel- oh! I'm sorry, I thought – what are you doing? Don't! Let me go! Help! HEL-mmph!"

Raven's voice got cut off as she relived Martha's memories of being abducted. Beast Boy looked away from the fear on her face and stared at the floor. He understood why she was doing this. Really, he did. That didn't mean he wanted to watch it.

His fists were tight on the sink and he tried to block out the tiny sounds Raven was making. Bad enough that they had to see the evidence of Light's work. She shouldn't have to relive it. Things quieted down from Raven for a while. She mumbled worse than usual. She was probably experiencing the drugs that Martha was injected with. Maybe even already in the room that Martha claimed she was locked up in. He could hear Raven's heart pound erratically. Stress, drugs, fear – all combined to make a nice arrhythmia.

He glanced up when Raven's hands turned palm down and clenched the fabric of her jeans. Her heart rate sped up even more. She was terrified.

"Don't hurt me, please. I won't tell anyone. Please, just let me go," Raven whispered.

She flinched away from something he couldn't see. "Who are you?"

A breath, in which someone could have answered.

"Please, Mr. Light, I won't tell."

Beast Boy swallowed. This was enough now. She didn't need to see anything else. He straightened up and shook Raven's shoulder.

"Enough, Raven. Come out of it," he shook her more when she didn't answer.

"N-no. Please, don't. Don't touch me!"

"It's me, Rae. Come on, wake up," Beast Boy was worried now. He didn't want it to go any farther. She had to wake up before she relived anything else.

A wall of magic spread around her, pushing his hands away. He growled, "Raven! Wake up!"

Her voice touched his mind, _Can't…someone here…have to see._ It sounded weak and far away. She had pushed aside her own memories to relive Martha's.

He stared at her, hands still tingling from her power. _Raven, please._

_ Have to know. Sorry._

Furious and scared for her, Beast Boy couldn't help snapping, _Do what you want. Don't expect me to fucking watch._

She didn't visibly turn, but Beast Boy felt her shy away from him and his language. He wasn't sure he'd ever spoken to her like that. He couldn't bring himself to feel sorry for it. Grabbing the handle of the bathroom door, he slammed it shut behind him. He didn't want to hear it. Didn't want to see anything. He didn't want to sit there helpless as Raven relived an experience that no one should ever have to. Wasn't fair.

He paced the bedroom area, making his steps louder than need be, breathing harder than he had to, just to drown out the noises from inside the bathroom. They weren't bad to begin with, but soon he heard crying. Beast Boy turned on the television that hadn't been touched since their arrival. Not the news – didn't want to see any stories on Martha – but just some cartoon, loud enough so that he could pretend he didn't know what was happening.

It didn't take long. Maybe an hour at most. All he knew is that he was pacing back and forth. He walked by the bathroom once and when he turned, she was standing in the open door. He froze, she was silent.

She looked…not quite frightened, but uneasy. Sad, but not haunted. She watched him, as if gauging as to whether he was still about to snap at her again or not.

"There was someone else there. Someone who could look like Light when he or she attacked Martha outside her work. But it wasn't Light. Light was the one who…abused her once she was delivered to the office building. I could see the other person outside the door after Light was done, but only a silhouette," Raven finally said tiredly.

"Shape-changer," Beast Boy said.

"Or someone that could confuse your mind that you were looking at Light."

Beast Boy opened his communicator, "Rob."

"Robin here, what is it?"

Beast Boy looked away from Raven, "We've confirmed that someone else was with Light last night. He or she can look like someone else, or make us think we're seeing them. Who does that leave us with?"

"Madame Rogue," Robin said immediately.

"Psimon can create illusions," Cyborg said.

"Kyd Wykkyd also has telepathic abilities, though I'm not certain he has this talent," Starfire pitched in.

"Mumbo has powers. He changed our shapes, might be able to change his own," Raven suggested, moving closer to Beast Boy.

"Mad Mod has that whole hypnosis and holographic thing," Beast Boy said. "But I'm not sure it'd work without the witnesses being contained somewhere he could control."

"I'd say Mother Mae-Eye, but I don't think we've been eating any pie lately," Cyborg said.

"Right. Cy'll do a search of the records. Make sure those that're put away are still in prison. Figure out where the rest are, as best as we know," Robin said. "We're almost to the hotel, you guys ready to leave?"

"Just about," Beast Boy said.

"See you in a bit," Cyborg said, as Robin closed the communicator.

Silence reigned in the hotel room. Beast Boy closed his communicator and tucked it into a pocket before facing the empath. She stared right back at him.

"You shouldn't have done that. There had to be another way of getting that information," he said quietly.

"There were a bunch of other ways. But this way was the only one that would give me everything I needed to know."

"Like what?"

"The other person is not as physically strong as Light. She tried to fight him or her off and she almost got away. I could feel the amount of strength Martha exerted. Less than you or I, so the other person is someone who doesn't usually fight physically. They had to drug Martha to move her because they couldn't control her on their own. When they grabbed her, their left hand was weaker than their right, I could feel that. Maybe a past injury. This person needs Light, because he or she isn't strong or powerful enough to be out on their own. They need the muscle, so they brought a good faith gift to Light in the form of Martha and information on us," Raven said quietly.

"And you had to stay the whole time?" Beast Boy asked.

"I only got a good look at the shadow of this person, but I know they're shorter than Light. Slighter build. But, that may have been an illusion or a fake form. I needed to take the chance to learn everything we could about this person."

"You didn't need to sit through it."

"Who else could have?" she asked him, walking closer, "I'm sorry I worried you, but if I have these powers, the ability to look into someone's memories and learn something new about the monster that hurt them, then I have a responsibility to do so!"

"So you can hurt yourself?"

She sighed, "Beast Boy, you were willing to run out our second night here to go after Light so he couldn't hurt anyone, even thought you were badly injured. I sat in a safe bathroom and watched memories of something horrible, yes. But it didn't happen to me. I could distance myself to know that much. But we owe it to Martha to do everything we can."

"Everything _you_ can."

She scowled, "Stop that. Look, I had to do this. It was horrible, yeah. Do I wish there had been another way? Of course! But there wasn't, so I did what I had to do. You'd do exactly the same in my place."

He didn't disagree. Mostly because she was right.

"I'm sorry for worrying you. But I won't apologize for doing what needed to be done."

Beast Boy could have kept being angry. In fact, it would have been easy. He could have yelled and taken out his frustration on her. Instead, he sighed and walked away to pick up their backpack. He put both of their room keys on the dresser, tapping on the plastic.

"You okay?" he asked her, not looking her in the eye.

"I'm okay. A little shaken, but okay," she told him. "I'll be better when we catch these two."

"Good. We should head over to the new place. Want to phase us over?" Beast Boy finally turned.

She smiled a little bit in thanks for letting the argument go, "Sure."

He walked over next to her, unable to stay quiet, "Hey, Raven?"

"Mhmm?"

"Next time you do that, I'll dump you in the shower and leave you there."

"Noted." A wall of shadows came up and enveloped them both in cool, silent darkness.


	15. Autophobia

A/N: Hello all. Sorry about the delay. Hit a bit of a wall with this chapter. Still not completely thrilled with it, but it needed to be written. I'd just like to say that I think Starfire is a total bad-ass. She's smart, gorgeous, and can kick anything that comes her way. Anyone read the Teen Titan comics? Guys, she takes on Wonder Woman. And very nearly wins. She's awesome. That is all my fan-girling over her for tonight.

I don't own Teen Titans. They belong to DC and their respective artists and creators. This is a work of fun and fiction. I just play with them and put them back.

Autophobia. Fear of being alone

* * *

><p>Starfire flinched as the raindrops pelted her like tiny rocks. The rain hadn't let up at all today, soaking them to the skin in the time it took to grab their small bags and run for the entrance of the hotel. She knew that Robin appreciated it – the rain would hide their entrance, but…her hair was difficult enough to control without adding frizzy and humid to it.<p>

Once inside, Robin took her bag with a smile. He'd been doing that more and more lately, smiling. She liked it.

"Do you think they're here?" she asked Robin quietly.

"If they haven't killed each other yet," Cyborg muttered from behind.

Starfire didn't respond. From the way Beast Boy had spoken in his communications to Robin, that didn't seem to be an issue any longer. She was sometimes naïve when it came to pop culture references, even now, but she wasn't stupid. And she knew how it sounded when one spoke of someone they cared about.

Robin wandered over to the front desk and spoke with the person on duty. Starfire and Cyborg had long since realized that their presence next to Robin could be more of a distraction than a help. In fact, Robin was the only one who could pass for normal. Perhaps Raven on a very, very dark day with many concealing clothes, but maybe not even then.

Robin turned and headed towards the stairwell, beckoning them over. "They're already here and up in the room."

"Hope they haven't torn it apart," Robin muttered as they tromped upstairs.

Five flights later, they had reached the adjoined rooms that Robin had booked. He knocked on the first room, but there was no answer. They walked to the next one and Robin knocked again. Starfire heard something from the inside and the light from the peephole darkened. Then the door swung open and revealed Beast Boy standing in the way.

She didn't miss the way his eyes moved up and down the hallway. Or how he blocked the opening with his body even though he had looked to see who was at the door when they knocked. As soon as he was certain it was just them, he smiled tightly and opened it wide enough to invite them all in.

"Welcome to the party," he told them.

Starfire followed Robin inside, the rear brought up by Cyborg. He shut the door behind them, locking it.

"The other room?" Robin asked.

Beast Boy's eyes locked down a little, "We checked it. Locked it up. What, you think-"

Raven, who had been sitting on the bed closest to the window, stood up and interrupted what Beast Boy was about to say, "It's good to see you all."

Starfire crossed the room and hugged Raven, "And you!" She knew Raven didn't enjoy too much physical contact, but she couldn't help it. It was good to have their family reunited; they might squabble and bicker and downright hate each other sometimes, but Star would lay down her life for everyone in this room, just as they would do for her.

To her pleasant surprise, Raven hugged her back. She let go quickly, but she did return the hug for a moment. Starfire smiled as she let go of her friend, Raven smiled back fleetingly, but there were new things behind her eyes.

Beast Boy looked much the same. He too smiled when Starfire hugged him, but it faded quicker than Raven's. He shook hands with Robin and Cyborg, not smiling. Raven hugged the two boys, quickly.

"All right," Robin said, sitting on one of the beds, "what have you two learned? Everything, from the beginning."

Starfire sat next to him, Raven and Beast Boy on the bed across from them, and Cyborg leaned against the adjoining door.

"We've told you before," Beast Boy said, annoyance clear in his voice. "Got here, got our asses handed to us. Found out what he really was. Tracked him all day yesterday. He didn't do anything. Then all of a sudden, Martha was the victim of a second person in the area, who seems to be working with Light and knew where we were staying."

Raven glanced at Beast Boy and started speaking. "The other person we're looking for is a shape-changer like Madame Rouge, or someone who can manipulate minds, like Psimon. He or she was the one who picked up Martha and brought her to Light."

Robin nodded, getting back into his mode as a leader or a team, not an army. "We've looked at everyone we mentioned. All of them are still in jail, with the exception of Mad Mod, who was in Chicago last we heard and I sent Jinx and Wildebeest after him. They saw him just today, so it can't be him."

"So we don't know who it is," Raven said quietly. She frowned at the bed, thinking hard about something, "When I saw this person, they looked shorter than Light. Smaller build. Wouldn't fight physically, but used his or her powers to overpower others. Weak in their left wrist."

"How'd you figure that?" Cyborg asked.

She looked up and she stared at him, almost surprised, "Oh. I looked through Martha's memories."

There was no sound, but Raven's head snapped towards Beast Boy's and she glared at him. Starfire stared as the two seemed to be having a silent discussion. Luckily, Robin and Cyborg were looking at one another. "Not too many that are skinnier than Light. He's a twig," Cyborg muttered.

"We could search for villains we're accustomed to, try to line up height and weight against Light's," Robin was thinking out loud.

Star watched as Raven finally looked away from the changling, almost chagrined. Beast Boy didn't look any happier for it; he stood and started pacing around the room.

"So, what now?" Beast Boy asked.

"I doubt he'd still be at the office building. If his new accomplice found him there, and he took Martha there, he probably wanted to move," Raven suggested.

"First things first, when did you two last eat?" Robin asked.

Raven and Beast Boy looked startled. Starfire smiled gently. Robin had matured, they just didn't realize how much just yet. He now knew when to push forward and when to hold back, when to drive his team and when to force them to take a break.

"Umm, last night, I think," Raven looked at Beast Boy.

He nodded. "Cops came early this morning and then we were…busy," he finished lamely.

"Right. Lunch. Then we'll get moving," Robin said. "Cy, why don't you move your, mine and Beast Boy's things into the other bedroom. The girls can have this one. I'll call down for some room service."

Again, there was a silent communication between Beast Boy and Raven, but this time neither one of them looked at each other. It almost looked like they were avoiding each others' eyes completely. Starfire watched silently, not bringing attention to it.

Robin called the front desk while Cyborg picked up their bags and moved them into the next room. Raven took a seat next to Starfire while Beast Boy moved restlessly around the room.

"How are you?" She asked the empath quietly.

Raven shrugged, "Tired. Angry. I want this guy caught. Now."

"Did you know the girl? Martha?" When Raven remained silent, she added, "You don't call her the victim. You call her by her name. Like you knew her personally."

Raven looked at the floor, "We didn't. Not really. She was a maid in the other hotel. She talked to us. Beast Boy ran into her a couple times. When the police showed up and told us her name…we didn't even remember it. We didn't remember her."

Starfire touched her shoulder and looked up. Beast Boy was watching from across the room, something vulnerable on his face. When he noticed Starfire watching, he looked away.

"And…her memories?" Starfire asked. There was more to that than what Raven had said.

The empath pulled away, "Like I said, I sifted through and found what we-"

"Raven…" Starfire said quietly. "You don't have to lie to me."

The empath glanced at Robin, still talking on the phone and not paying attention to them. At least, not obviously paying attention.

"Please, Star. I don't want to talk about it," she whispered.

All right. She could live with that. Especially since Beast Boy was watching again. Raven glanced up at him for a second and the changling gave a half smile at her. Raven returned it, standing up and walking over to look out the window. Starfire saw how the two of them seemed to be very aware of one another. Where they were, what they were doing, where they were looking. Even, apparently, what they were thinking.

They were quiet for a while. Lunch arrived in the form or bread, cold cuts, condiments and fruit. Raven got glasses of water for everyone and they spread out on the beds and the floor, while Robin took the desk chair. Starfire put a bunch of mustard on her sandwich – not an obscene amount, but maybe a bit more than the average person. She continued to watch Beast Boy and Raven out of the corner of her eye, curious. They didn't do anything out of the ordinary at the beginning, but as lunch progressed something odd happened.

Beast Boy suddenly grinned widely and ducked his eyes down. Raven glanced up at Robin and smothered a giggle – a _giggle_ – before looking at Beast Boy. The two shared a private joke and Beast Boy chuckled.

Robin glanced up at them from peeling the banana he had picked up, "What?"

The two dissolved into laughter, Beast Boy waving it aside, "Nothing, nothing."

Raven wiped her eyes, taking a deep breath. She didn't stop smiling and the mood in the room relaxed significantly as she looked at Robin and said, "So, what's the plan?"

"Cyborg's going to search databases of criminals we've dealt with before, along with talking with the JLA. We might have missed a telepath or shape-changer that they've met," Robin glanced at Cyborg who nodded. "Starfire and Raven will patrol the area where Light was last seen, seeing if we can relocate Light and his new friend. Beast Boy and I will go down to the city's police station. In the rare case that they've dealt with Light's accomplice before, maybe you can pick up a scent or DNA trail." He shrugged with Beast Boy raised a brow. "I know it's a long shot, but I don't want to miss out on any opportunities."

"What about…" Starfire felt embarrassed asking, but she had to, "You said no female Titan was to go out in Light's area without a male Titan around."

Robin looked at her, eyes soft, "I know, Star. But you two are more than capable of staying out of his reach."

"Except when Light shot her down," Cyborg said quietly. His voice was worried, so at least she wasn't the only one.

Robin looked at Starfire and Raven. "Look, I know what I said. And I will completely understand if you want to trade assignments with either Beast Boy or myself. Is that what you want to do?"

Of course not. But Starfire really couldn't tell if it was because she truly wasn't scared, or because she didn't want to be scared. "No."

Raven was already shaking her head. "I'll be on a rooftop like I was last time. Unlikely that Light will get anywhere near me without me noticing."

"You sure?" Robin asked again.

Starfire glanced at Raven, who was nodding, "We're sure."

He stared at them for a moment, as if making certain they were telling the truth, "All right."

With that, they finished lunch quickly and went on their separate ways. Though Raven wasn't looking, Starfire saw how Beast Boy watched her. He didn't look thrilled at the assignments, but they all knew that this was the best option.

The girls left through the window, without any more of a send-off than 'see you later'. It wasn't a callous move, but a hopeful one. No need to say goodbye because they'd be back soon.

Raven didn't speak much as they flew towards the center of the city. Starfire didn't force any conversation. Leading the way towards the exact center of the city, Raven landed on top of a tall spire that held a small platform, blocked from the wind by low walls.

"I'll stay here and search for Light's mind while you search grids. Once I find him, I'll call you on your communicator and you can track him. If we can find him, we might be able to find who he's working with," Raven sat on the ground, wincing as the cold bit through her clothes. "I'll keep in touch with you as you should with me. Every two minutes, buzz me and I'll do the same."

Starfire nodded, making sure her hair was bound up tightly. It was rare that folks looked straight up, but she would draw their attention if she allowed her hair to hang free like a banner. "I will see you soon."

Raven nodded, closing her eyes. Starfire lifted off the roof again, staying high enough to avoid the skyscrapers and thanking her family line for keen eyesight. She flew in a grid pattern, making sure to cover every block and street corner in her search. If Light were out, she would see him. She made sure to buzz Raven, keeping in silent contact as she flew. She had kept track of the answering buzzes – 36. A little more than an hour of searching.

"Star?" Raven's voice sounded quiet.

"Yes?"

"I think…he's on the northeast side of town. Umm…crossroads Reed and Downing. Can't sense anyone near him, but his aura is rather bold. Could be drowning out a submissive one."

Starfire flew in the direction Raven had indicated, keeping her eyes open. Instead of buzzing, Raven kept calling her with short alterations to her directions.

"Heading north along Graydon."

Starfire doubled back and went up Graydon, making sure to keep the sun at her back. She peered down and saw a figure in a trench coat. He was the same height as Light. Same walk she remembered Light having.

"I see him." She looked up and down the street, "But he is alone. No one is around."

"Keep following him. I doubt they've split up already. If you lose him, call, but I'll go back to buzzing you."

Starfire agreed and made sure to keep Light in sight. For the next hour and a half, she followed the criminal up and down streets, seemingly without a plan of any sort. He meandered in and out of shop buildings. Star lost him once, when he entered through the front door and snuck out the back. Clearly, he was trying to make sure no one could find him. But Raven was on top of it and gave Star the right heading. She caught up with Light just a few blocks away.

"I have found him again," Starfire said. "Thank you."

A few minutes passed before Starfire realized Raven hadn't buzzed her. She counted, double checking. No, she was right. More than two minutes had passed. Probably more like six. Three check-ins, missed.

"Raven?" Starfire called into her communicator. "Raven, please check in."

Nothing.

She immediately turn and flew back towards the building, calling the others, "Raven has missed three check-ins and isn't answering her communicator. I just left Light so I do not believe it is him, but there is someone else out there."

"What?" Robin asked. There was a commotion and Starfire heard him shout, "Beast Boy! Wait, you can't just-"

The communicator cut off and Cyborg jumped in, "Where is she, Star?"

"The top of the tower at Central and 15th," Starfire answered. "I am on my way there."

"From the sound of Rob's call, I think B is, too."

Starfire agreed and pushed herself harder. She could nearly see the building now, just another mile or two.

A green blur shot past her, not startling her as much as making her try to move even faster. Beast Boy would get there. He had to get there before anything happened. Up ahead, Starfire saw a wall of black magic rise up and crash down again on the top of the tower. She was still alive and conscious, which meant things weren't as bad as she thought. Still, she was thrilled to see the green bird landing on the roof next to Raven.

She arrived just in time to help Beast Boy up off the ground. Raven was struggling to her own feet, a cut on her forehead bleeding into her eye. She wiped it away, smearing the stain. She ran towards the access panel, "He ran down here!"

Starfire pulled Beast Boy up and followed Raven down the stairs, "Who?"

"Light," Beast Boy said, running on his own.

"That is impossible. I left Light miles away when Raven didn't answer."

Raven jogged down the stairs, three at a time, "Well, he looks like Light."

"Doesn't smell like him," the changling muttered.

"What does he smell like?" Raven asked, looking behind her.

"Fear. Drugs. Sweat."

"Gross," Starfire said.

"You're telling me."

"Come on, he had to go this way." Raven said, opening the only door the stairs led to.

The trio halted in the doorway, staring as dozens and dozens of people stared back at them. They were in an office building of some kind and it seemed that every worker was here, in a suit and not looking like Light.

"Did anyone see a man come through this door?" Beast Boy asked loudly.

"Who the hell are you?" A man in a suit yelled back.

Beast Boy looked at him coldly, "I'm a Titan and working with the police to catch a serial rapist. Now, did anyone see a man come through these doors?"

The same loud-mouth spoke up again, "I don't see you holding any credentials."

Starfire didn't speak up as Beast Boy stormed towards the man, with Raven hot on his heels. Beast Boy's growls were staring from the very bottom of his chest as Raven spoke to the man, her eyes like fire and her voice piercing through the silence.

"This man has attacked me and my friends. A married woman was scarred for life because of him. An innocent girl is lying in the hospital raped and beaten because of this man. Now, for the third and final time, did you see anyone come out of this door before us?"

The man's face hardened and Raven put a hand on Beast Boy's shoulder. The growling changling stepped aside. Raven leaned in closer to him, not giving him a chance to look away from her eyes.

"If you lie to me," Raven said quietly, "I will reach into your head, find the truth and I swear that I will make you remember that experience for the rest of your life. Do you understand me?"

The man paled and nodded. "I-I understand." He shook his head, "I didn't see anyone." The man looked around, "Did anyone else?"

Everyone was shaking their heads. Raven stared at a few in particular, but eventually turned back to Starfire and shook her head. The alien approached her friends and smiled, "Thank you all for you cooperation. If you have any further questions, please contact your local police force."

Despite the show that her friends had put on, people began smiling as Star smiled at them. She knew that she could put people at ease with her demeanor and personality and after that…well, these people needed it.

Raven, Beast Boy and Starfire got outside eventually. Starfire called the boys before they finished the trip there and told them they'd all meet at the hotel. Robin was already pressing for information, but Raven just shook her head and told them she'd tell them all once.

"You're bleeding," Beast Boy said, staring at Raven.

She wiped her head again, wincing as the blood that had dried pulled at her skin, "Yeah. You okay?"

He nodded, "Just bumps, no actual cuts."

Raven lifted into the air, followed by Starfire and Beast Boy, who had shifted into a bird once more.

"By the way, Beast Boy," Raven said over the sound of the wind as they flew towards the hotel, "can I mention how glad I am that Cyborg brought you a new, shape-changing costume?"

The bird cheeped and Raven burst out laughing.

"Yeah, probably not the most threatening sight, hmm?"

Starfire listened to the exchange with interest. It was like she was only hearing half a conversation. It was quiet as they traveled back, though sometimes Raven looked at Beast Boy as if he had said something.

When they arrived at the hotel, it was not quiet. Not at all.

"Starfire, are you okay? Raven, what happened? What were you thinking letting Light get the drop on you?" Robin was saying.

"Why weren't you keeping an eye out for him? Star said you were advising her, how'd you miss that?"

Beast Boy was silent, watching her closely as he took a seat on the bed.

Raven tried to answer their questions, but kept getting interrupted by more and more. Finally she snapped, "It wasn't Light!"

The boys reeled, surprised. Robin frowned, "But you said-"

"I know what I said. But it wasn't Light. It was his accomplice. I did have a lock on Light and he was where I said he was. But someone who looked like Light attacked me on the roof. I didn't know he was there because his mind's signature was completely different," Raven said, her hands in fists.

"What happened?" Robin said, sitting on the edge of the desk.

Raven sighed, "I'm not entirely sure. I was following Light and I guess I had fallen a little too far into myself. I didn't hear the door open, but I heard it slam shut again. I opened my eyes in time to get hit." She touched her forehead, "I think it was a piece of metal or something…I'm not certain."

She looked up, "I swear, it looked like Light. But he didn't attack with his wrist blasters or any other usual attacks. He hit me a few more times before I could fight back. By the time I pushed my power into him, Beast Boy was there. He jumped on Light and he threw him. But not far. Just enough to make him hit his head. He ran down the stairwell and then…vanished. No one saw him leave the stairs. He wasn't hiding on the stairwell."

"It wasn't Light," Beast Boy said. "Didn't smell like Light. Smelled different."

"So. Light's accomplice," Cyborg said. "Obviously a shape-changer, but JLA hasn't reported anyone missing from their turf and all of ours are in jail or being chased as we speak. Must be someone new."

"Maybe," Robin frowned, chewing on his thumb. "I'll have to look into something later. But until then, how about some dinner?"

Starfire smiled as Robin led them down to the restaurant. Beast Boy and Raven looked on edge, but they relaxed once the food hit the table. Starfire noticed that Beast Boy stole a bite of Raven's pasta and meat sauce before turning back to his own vegetarian manicotti. They sat around the table for a while, not really talking, but relaxing in companionable silence. It was only when Cyborg yawned that Robin suggested that they turn in. The Titans trudged upstairs, splitting off into their separate rooms.

She noticed as Raven and Beast Boy hesitated outside their respective doors before stepping inside without looking at one another. The girls got ready silently, slipping into their own beds. Raven murmured a goodnight that Starfire returned.

The hours passed, Starfire found herself dozing in and out of sleep. But she kept hearing Raven turn over and over in her own bed, clearly not resting. Any sleep she did get was short and interrupted by apparent nightmares. A little after midnight, the third time Raven woke up with a gasp, Starfire sat up, "Raven, is everything all right?"

"Just…nightmares. I'm sorry. I don't want to wake you," Raven said quietly, her voice shaky.

"Don't be sorry. I'm just concerned," Starfire said.

"I'll be okay. I promise." Raven lowered herself to the bed again, rolling away from Starfire. "I'm sorry."

Another half hour passed, almost silently other than the sound of breathing. Then, Raven flinched and woke up, not with a cry, but a sob. Starfire immediately sat up and crossed over to Raven, but as she touched her shoulder, the empath moved away, "Don't."

"Raven…" Starfire's hand hovered by her, unwilling to move away but not wanted to cause more stress for her.

Waves of purple hair hid her face from view, but Starfire knew the sounds of smothered crying better than she wanted to. She stood there, not knowing what to do.

She was so engrossed in her dilemma that she didn't hear the adjoining door to the boy's room open up. She jumped with a hand touched her shoulder.

"Star," Beast Boy said quietly, "I got this. Why don't you go take my bed, or hop in with Rob?"

"Are you certain? She seems very upset," she didn't want to make it sound like she didn't think Beast Boy could take care of her.

"Yeah, I'm sure." He smiled at the alien briefly before turning his attention to Raven, "Night, Star."

"Goodnight," Starfire said, though Beast Boy clearly wasn't listening. She walked over to the door and into the boy's room, but hesitated upon closing the door. She watched in shock as Beast Boy sat next to Raven and pulled the unresisting girl into his arms. The empath turned and leaned against his shoulder, her cries smothered. Beast Boy smoothed her hair down her shoulders and lay back down on the bed, pulling Raven with him. She curled into him, never protesting.

"It's okay, Rae. I've got you. Everything is gonna be okay," Beast Boy told her.

Starfire shut the door, not wanting to intrude any more. She looked at the boy's room. Cyborg was dominating one bed, and Robin the other, while Beast Boy's pull out couch bed lay empty. She considered it for a moment and then made her decision.

Robin woke up as she slid into bed next to him, "Star? Everything okay?"

She nodded, not wanting to speak of Raven's nightmares or Beast Boy's successful comforting. She just rested her head on her boyfriend's shoulder. Robin immediately shifted to put his arm around her, hugging her against him, "What's wrong?"

Starfire closed her eyes and just concentrated on Robin's embrace. She knew that things were bad. Light was constantly eluding them and this new accomplice was an invisible, nameless threat who could disappear into crowds. She knew that all of them were in danger. She knew that the days of villains showing mercy because they were female or children were long gone. They could die tomorrow if a villain got lucky.

And yet, lying here, in the arms of the boy she'd loved since arriving on this planet, Starfire couldn't help but relax. As long as she was with Robin, she felt as if nothing bad could happen to her. As she drifted off to sleep, Robin's lips against her hair and her arms wrapped around her, she had a fleeting thought that perhaps that is why Raven could fall asleep in Beast Boy's arms.


	16. Oneirophobia

I know I've been gone. I'm so sorry. But I think I've made it up to you by posting a nice, extra long chapter with a little present for you all at the end. Let me know what you think. More, less, just right?

By the way, thanks for all the well-wishes for my finals. They did something, since I got all A's. Thanks for being so lovely and understanding.

I don't own Teen Titans. Wish I do. But I don't. I have an extensive pen collection, though. Want that?

Oneirophobia. Fear of dreams.

* * *

><p><em>Raven winced as she slammed against the ground, her knees and hands bloodied. She glanced up, seeing the Titans advancing on her.<em>

_ "G-guys…it's me," she gasped out, holding up her hands as she stumbled to her feet. "Just wait a second and I can expl-"_

_ Starbolts cuts off her sentence, sending her backwards. Broken glass that littered the alley dug into her skin as she rolled. She was forced to embed more into her arms, rolling to avoid the feet of a green rhinoceros._

_ "Beast Boy, stop!" she gasped, stumbling against the wall._

_ Cyborg spoke from where he guarded the exit of the alley, "Just give in, Rae. You're only making it harder on yourself with all this running."_

_ She knew tears were escaping her eyes, but she didn't allow herself time to sob, "Why? What did I do?"_

_ "It is inevitable," Starfire said, her hands prepped for another burst of starbolts. "You will give in to your demon nature and take most of this city with you before we could stop you."_

_ "It…it isn't inevitable," Raven said, trying and failing to find a single sympathetic face among her friends. "Robin, you told me that I could fight it."_

_ He smiled at her, "You could have, maybe. But you're so weak, Raven. Too weak to fight yourself. So why not just stand still?"_

_ She threw herself to the side, the wall of the alley exploding out as one of Robin's small explosives landed. Raven cried out as bricks hit her skin, the one that hit her head making her vision go white._

_ When she looked up, she was face to face with a snarling wolf._

_ "Beast Boy. Please," she whispered, "you know I won't ever give in. Just like you won't lose control of your Beast. You know me. Please."_

_ He just advanced on her, saliva dripped from his muzzle. Raven closed her eyes and waited for the teeth to wrap around her throat. Instead, she felt a fist land on her face._

_ She blinked away the spots, her vision doing weird things. For a moment, the Titans wavered as she fought for consciousness. They _wavered_…_

_ With a scream that was more rage than pain, Raven threw her power out from her. She bared her teeth as the images of her friends vanished and Phobia remained in the middle of the alley, shaken and trying to get to her feet._

_ Raven glared at the older, silent woman, "You used my fears against me and almost won. Unfortunately, 'almost' doesn't quite cut it."_

_ Phobia's fight back was weak and uncoordinated. She wasn't used to fighting people who were aware of her presence. She wasn't used to not being able to hide behind her images and pictures. She picked up a steel bar that may have done some damage to Raven, but Raven caught the bar in her hand and kicked out hard at Phobia's wrist._

_ When the bone snapped, Phobia screamed and fell to the ground. Raven encased her in power, making the villain sleep. She waited for the authorities and picked the glass out of her skin. It was quiet, except for Raven's gasps and the small plink of glass as it hit the ground. She glanced over at Phobia to find her eyes were open and she was staring directly at Raven. The woman snarled and leapt at Raven's face-_

Raven jerked awake, but wasn't able to leap out of bed as her instincts were screaming at her to do. Something was wrapped too tightly around her. For a minute, she panicked. Pure, full-on panicking that included heart-racing, breath-shortening, cold-sweating fear.

When she looked down and saw the green arms holding her against a green chest, she felt the relief like a douse of warm water. Everything was fine. Raven put her head back down on Beast Boy, closing her eyes and trying to figure out what the hell happened.

Shame crept on her as she remembered the ridiculous amount of nightmares she had suffered through last night. She kept trying to tell herself that reliving Martha's memories had been necessary, but that didn't make the nightmares go away. But without them, she wouldn't have figured out the accomplice's vague height and weight, that they were weak in their wrist, that they were too small to fight like…

Raven's eyes opened up again. Weak in their left wrist. The same wrist she had snapped on Phobia. Phobia, who was too small to fight hand to hand and relied on images and fears to weaken her opponent. Phobia, who could create images and make herself look like whoever she wanted to.

She got out of bed, pulling on a sweatshirt to preserve some modesty and pounded on the door between the rooms. She heard a shout and the thud of someone falling out of bed, before a very annoyed and sleepy Cyborg opened the door.

"Rae, what's wrong?" He frowned and looked back at the other bed, his eyebrows rising as Starfire exited Robin's bed and Robin was picking himself off the floor. "Why is Star in our room?"

There was a rustle from behind Raven and she knew that she had woken up Beast Boy.

Cyborg looked past her, "And why is B in your- What the hell was going on while I was sleeping?"

"The accomplice is Phobia," Raven told Robin once he was standing.

"What?" Beast Boy asked.

Robin was giving Raven that look, so she continued explaining, "She can create images so people see whatever she wants them to. She relies on those images and rarely fights physically herself._ I_ broke her left wrist, which is where Martha's attacker was weak! Phobia is here and working with Light!"

"Actually, she's not," Robin said.

Raven felt herself freeze in place. "What do you mean?"

"I had that thought last night," Robin said, picking up a shirt and pulling it on over his head, "I called LA and had them check on her. She's still sitting in the cell where you left her. Doesn't speak, rarely eats, barely moves. But she's still locked up."

She stared at him, clearly disbelieving, "But…it all makes sense."

"It's not her," Robin said quietly.

Raven looked at the ground, frowning. Something was very, very wrong.

"Look," Robin was saying, "let's all get a few more minutes of sleep. We'll meet downstairs for breakfast in say…an hour?"

Raven didn't answer, but followed Beast Boy back into their room. He didn't say anything, but he watched her as she paced. She glanced at him as he yawned. Odd how easily he could put on the threatening vibe when needed, like with the man in the business building yesterday, and then look like this. He was sleepy, tousled. It was kind of cute, in an adult, shirtless, muscley sort of way. She looked away from him, ignored the heat on her cheeks and trying to get her brain back on track. Finally, she had to say something to break the silence.

"Sorry I woke you," she said.

He smiled, but it was clear he was thinking about something else, "It's okay."

"It has to be Phobia. Nothing else makes sense," she said suddenly.

Beast Boy sat down on the bed, their bed, "Okay. How can she be here and in prison last night?"

"I don't know." She was just relieved that he had accepted what she said without judgment.

"Then how will we know? I could fly to LA. It isn't that far. Check it out myself," he offered.

Not only did he believe her, he was willing to go and check for her? She went over and hugged him tightly, "Thank you."

Beast Boy was smiling, she could hear it as he answered, "No problem. But for what?"

"Not thinking I'm crazy."

"You're right," he said as she pulled away, "Phobia is the only one who fits the description, unless it's someone just like her that we've never met, which seems unlikely. So we'll figure it out and then go back to Rob with more information. I can leave now, be back later tonight."

"Robin won't just let you leave to check on something he thinks is already cleared up," Raven said, biting the edge of her finger. Raven paused, half a thought forming in her head. She started to smile as it solidified. Oh, neither he nor Robin was going to like this…

She looked up at Beast Boy, "Are they asleep in there?"

He looked curious but didn't question her. He walked over to the door and listened in before nodding to her, "They're all quiet." He joined her on the floor at the foot of their bed, "What are you doing?"

"Something Robin would probably frown upon." She flipped open her communicator and pried off the tiny cover beneath the screen. It popped open, revealing a very tiny, very insignificant chip. Beast Boy raised his brow at the symbol on the chip.

"What the heck were you up to when you weren't talking to me?" he asked quietly.

She just shook her head and pushed the chip into the small port of the communicator. The screen fizzled for a minute before reconnecting and calling an encrypted number.

An irritatingly familiar, digitized voice answered after just a minute, though the screen remained black. "Oh, I hope you have a very good reason to be calling this number."

"It's me, X," Raven said.

"Hmm. The little demon girl. Now why would a good girl like you be calling the likes of me?" Red X asked, a clear flirtation in his voice.

Beast Boy frowned at the screen.

"Cut the crap, X. You owe me big time and I'm cashing in," Raven said. She had dealt with three days of his nonsense, both verbal and not. To be honest, she had kind of enjoyed the company. But then again, being trapped in a crashed airplane in the middle of a Russian wasteland tends to make one grateful for the little things.

"And here I just thought you wanted to chat. You wound me."

"Where are you?" she tried.

"Ask no questions and I'll tell you no lies. You know better than that, Raven." X was clearly enjoying the game.

"Fine. I have a job for you. Need it done by tonight, if possible. It's important."

"How important?"

"I'm calling you, aren't I?" she snapped.

Silence from the phone made her fear that he'd hung up.

"That important, huh?" he said eventually.

"Yes. There's a prison in LA. The Metropolitan Detention Center," Raven said. "You heard of it?"

"I may have been threatened with it, sure."

"There's an inmate in there, goes by the name of Phobia. Real name, Angela Hawkins III."

"Okay."

"I want you to break into the prison and physically make sure she's there," Raven said, waiting for the shoe to drop.

"…I'm sorry. Sounded like you just asked me to break _into_ a prison," Red X finally said.

"Yes."

"You're crazy and I'm hanging up,"

She glared at the communicator, "I saved your life, you coward. And I let you go."

"With barely enough Xenothium to make it to the city!"

"No, with _exactly_ enough Xenothium. I could have left you on that place to freeze and die or I could have transported you to a prison. But I didn't," she paused and waited, but Red X stayed on the line. "Now, I'm asking you to break into a prison because we both know you've found another power source since Robin took your belt and you can teleport in and out of that place in two minutes, tops. If you want to act like a sniveling child, I'll save my request for something a little easier and less scary," she knew she was being obvious, but she knew X and how he acted. He would respond to it easily. Mostly because he knew she was right. "I thought you might want to be out from under my debt as soon as possible. But, if you like being in my debt, sure, I'll find someone better suited to-"

"Oh, shut up already, you brat," Red X finally sighed, "I got it. I do this, let you know and I'm home free, right?"

"Until the next time I run into you and am forced to arrest you," Raven said.

"Don't count on it, beautiful. You might be too head over heels for me to do that."

This time Beast Boy glared at the screen.

"Unlikely. Just find out and get back to me. As fast as you can."

"Of course, my demon queen. I'm at your command."

The screen fizzled again. Raven popped the ship out, finding that it had corrupted and was now useless. Wasn't too surprising really, considering him.

Beast Boy was staring at her and she prepared herself for the interrogation. Raven put the communicator down and turned to face him.

"Interesting friends you've made," he said blandly.

Raven smiled, "Not the way you think." She waited, not offering any more information. She had to keep her smile from growing wider as Beast Boy squirmed.

"Fine. I admit it, I'm curious. Now spill," Beast Boy finally sighed.

"I was tracking Red X. I got an idea that he would go after a plane carrying Xenothium. I got on board and hid there until he struck. Unfortunately, the pilot wasn't ready for it, though I had told him, and he suffered a fatal heart attack and the plane crashed," Raven took a breath. "When I woke up, I had a fractured leg and a concussion. I was too weak and frozen to use my powers. I managed to crawl back to the plane, but the door had been jammed shut. All of my belongings, communicator, and extra supplies were in that plane. The crate of Xenothium was outside. I would have died if I stayed out there."

"But you didn't," he said.

Did he know he had taken her hand? "No. The door opened from the inside and Red X pulled me in. I didn't tell him about the Xenothium being outside. He must have thought that it had been lost in the crash. He was cut up and losing a lot of blood. I tied off his tourniquet and he kept me from falling asleep again. We were in the middle of nowhere and a giant blizzard had built up. We wouldn't have been found. Once my powers were recovered, I healed up both of us. After three nights, I took the Xenothium, leaving him with a map and enough Xenothium to get him there. Then I left during the blizzard."

"That's it?"

"Well, a couple weeks later, I woke up to a note and the chip."

"What did the note say?"

She smiled, "Something like…'Thanks for the goodbye, demon-girl, but I hate to owe anyone anything. You call, I'll answer, and do what I can. But you better mean it'."

"Was he nice to you?"

Raven shrugged, "He was irritating. But he isn't entirely evil. He'd make a great hero, if he had the drive. But I think he's just…I don't know. Something happened that makes him hate authority. He may steal things, but I don't think he's that big of a threat."

"Me neither. You didn't fall for the whole anti-hero, sympathetic villain thing, did you?"

She laughed, "No."

"Good. He may not be a threat, but he'd put up one hell of a fight if I had to drive him away from you," Beast Boy said, standing up. "I'm gonna jump in the shower, you mind?"

She was still reeling. "U-uh. No. No, I'll go after."

Beast Boy grinned and disappeared into the bathroom. Raven was left on the floor. Had he realized what he said? Or was he just teasing her? He had seemed honest enough when he got annoyed at the things Red X was saying, but that was just because he was a villain, right? Not because Beast Boy actually loved…

Not that she cared who he loved. She sure as hell didn't love him back. Well, not like that. Certainly she trusted him and cared about him. But as a brother. Though not as brotherly as Cyborg or Robin. There was something different about Beast Boy. She shook her head roughly, he had been her family for four years! How in the world was she supposed to reconcile these new feelings with the old-

She stood up quickly. No, no new feelings. No loving Beast Boy. There was no time for things like that. Not for her.

Beast Boy's shower didn't take very long. Raven was passing him to the bathroom when he stopped her. "Did you sleep okay? After, I mean."

"Yeah. Thanks. Sorry about the…" She gestured to her face.

"Don't apologize," he told her. "Not for that."

"Well, thanks all the same."

Beast Boy stared at her, "But you still had nightmares."

"Little ones," she reassured him. "Not like before you came in."

"So I helped?" He smiled.

Raven said, "Of course."

"Good," he grinned. Without hesitation, he bent down and kissed her on the cheek, "Have a good shower."

She shut the door behind her, praying she wasn't as red as she knew she was.

The day passed without incident or interest. Much of it was spent like it had been before, though with some slight modifications. Cyborg, Starfire and Robin went back to the police department, to finish what they had begun yesterday. Beast Boy accompanied Raven to the tower, not leaving to tail Light once she found his mind's signature, but staying at her side to guard her from anyone who might try to attack while she was searching.

There had been no successes that day. No one at the police department had seen anyone even vaguely resembling the description of Light's accomplice. Raven couldn't find Light within the confines of the city.

_Do you think he rabbited?_ Beast Boy asked on their way back.

"Not really. He's comfortable here. He's attacked and gotten away with it. Why would he leave? He knows we're no closer to figuring anything out. Not yet," Raven said while they flew.

_And Phobia?_

"Hopefully X will let us know."

_You trust him?_ The finch next to her looked as incredulous as a finch could.

"No. I don't trust him. But I know that if he said he'd do something, he'll do it."

_You've got a lot of faith in a villain, but I'll trust you on this._

"And you've got a lot of faith in a demon. We've all got our flaws."

When they touched down in the room that had been silently acknowledged as theirs, Raven sighed. She hated days like this. Days when the Titans knew there was evil out there and they were just two steps behind and unable to catch up. It always left her feeling like a failure, even though she knew there was nothing any of them could do about it.

Beast Boy knocked on the adjoining door and opened it right after, Raven followed him in.

"Anything?" Robin said, looking up from the maps he was pouring over.

Beast Boy shook his head, "He's off the grid. Like his brain is dead or something. Raven couldn't get any sort of lock on him."

"He didn't just vanish," Robin said, turning back to the maps with a glare.

"Of course he didn't. He's still in the city somewhere," Cyborg said, looking out the window as if he expected Light to just walk by.

"Why are you so certain?" Starfire asked him. Beast Boy went and sat on the bed

"It's not the way he does things. If he leaves now, it's like he's been run off by us. He won't want that. He wants to leave on his own terms. Not ours," Cyborg said. "He's still out here somewhere. Him and his buddy."

Raven was relieved to hear Cyborg say it. She didn't like the idea of Light close and unseen, but she liked the idea of him vanishing into another city even less.

"How about dinner?" Beast Boy suggested. "I don't know about you, but chips aren't enough for lunch."

"That sounds good," Starfire said before Robin could object. "We're all hungry and frustrated. A break would do us good before we-"

Raven's communicator fizzled on her hip. For a moment, Raven thought she might be able to answer it in her own room. But the voice spoke up despite the fact that she didn't open it up.

"Hey, demoness." Raven hung her head as Red X's very recognizable voice shot through the room. "Pick up if you want your intel."

Robin got to his feet, glaring at Raven's communicator, "Is that who I think it is?"

"Oh, I would recognize those dulcet, paranoid tones anywhere. How's it going, kid?"

Raven gave in and opened up the communicator, the screen was blank but she glared anyway, "You don't need to antagonize him."

"Don't take away all my fun, o Queen of the Damned," Red X teased her.

"Like you've ever read Anne Rice," Beast Boy said from his new position at Raven's side.

Raven pushed aside her surprise that Beast Boy had read Anne Rice as Red X laughed.

"Wow, is the whole gang here? And you didn't tell them you were dancing on the wrong side of the law with me? Oh, Raven you're so very naughty."

She was happy that she answered him calmly, "Shut up for a minute, X." She looked up into the room, "Look, I have a feeling about Phobia and I knew that if I said anything to you guys again, you'd just call me paranoid. So I enlisted a little…outside help."

"In exchange for what?" Robin demanded.

"Wouldn't you like to know?"

"You are really not helping things," she hissed at the communicator. "Look. Red X owed me. I cashed in. That's all."

"I told you," Robin said, looking frustrated, "that Phobia was still in prison. There is nothing to fear from her. I know you had a rough time with her, but it's over. Done. She's behind bars."

"Was. She _was_ behind bars."

Raven forgot about her angry team leader and stared into the black communicator. "What did you find out?"

"Phobia was there. For a couple months. Apparently she had some bone damage that she waited to get healed up. Your work, beautiful?" He didn't wait for a response. "Anyway, she's been out since October."

"But the guards there," Robin said quietly, "they said-"

Red X interrupted, "Yeah, they said she was sitting there. Not speaking or moving. Barely eating. All an image. She mojo'd them pretty heavy. All of them see it. All the time."

"But not you?" Starfire asked.

"You still single, alien girl? 'Cause if Raven is just gonna use and abuse me, I might need a friendlier touch."

"X," Raven muttered.

"No need to get jealous. Apparently anyone entering in afterwards won't see her images. She was in a secure ward, so makes sense that she wouldn't need to worry about it much. By the time they would have trained up a new guard who worked his way up to the dangerous criminals, she'd be long gone in the wind. And before you ask," Red X said proudly, "I set off all kinds of alarms in there, so they better figure it out, otherwise they're all too thick to be law enforcement."

Raven stared at the communicator. Phobia was out. She had to be here. She was the only one that made sense. She was here.

"Hey, demon chick," X was yelling, "we square now, or what?"

"Y-yes. You're debt free. Thank you."

He didn't hang up like she thought, but stayed on the line a moment longer. "Why's she so important? What are you dealing with that's too tough for you to handle?" Red X sounded amused.

She thought about lying or ignoring him, but he had risked a lot going into the prison. His report had been invaluable to them. And besides, he sounded honestly curious. "A man who attacks, beats, and rapes women. Phobia is working with him and now that we know, we have a better chance of getting them both."

Maybe, before the Brotherhood and everything that had happened to her, she would have found his response odd from the likes of a criminal. But not today, "You better take that bastard down."

"Like that means anything, coming from you," Robin's voice lacked its usual fervor. Maybe it was just a knee-jerk reaction to Red X.

"Look, kid. I'm a thief. I steal to get buy. But I know the kinds of guys who like to do that sort of thing and we don't get along. But they're a rough bunch. So…" Red X sounded almost worried, "you better keep an eye on your girls."

"We will." That promise came from Beast Boy.

"Well," Red X returned to his usual mocking voice, "if you're all hanging out in Cali, I'm gonna high-tail it to the east coast or maybe another continent. Things were easy pickings when you five were separated and I doubt I'll get any kind treatment for my oh so good behavior from you lot. So this is goodbye. Good luck, kids."

Raven's screen went black and the conversation was over. Cyborg, Starfire and Robin were all staring at Raven, seemingly at a loss for what to say.

"So," Beast Boy said suddenly, "how about that dinner?"

They managed to make it through most of the meal in quiet once Raven explained how Red X owed her anything. She didn't get the lecture she had been expecting from Robin. Instead, he had shrugged and said that she had done what needed to be done. She wasn't sure what that mean, but she filed it away for later. They had almost finished their meals before Cyborg finally said, "Phobia, huh? What's she like, Rae?"

Raven stared at the table. "Like I said. Shorter, smaller. Doesn't do much hand to ha-"

"I meant, the mind thing. How did she go after you?"

She put down her fork and looked at him. "By going through my head and finding the things I feared most. Then she threw them in front of me and made me live them. I was beaten, cut, thrown and hit before I ever saw her face." She twisted the napkin in her lap, trying to keep her voice calm.

"What were your fears?" Robin asked.

She stared intently at her plate. "Finishing what my father started. Having the four of you go after me because of what I was. Sometimes just little flashes of smaller fears. Fire. Guns."

A hand gripped hers beneath the table and she looked up to find Beast Boy staring at her. She managed a small smile and looked back at Robin, "What would she show you, if you run into her?"

"I try not to think about it," Robin said.

"Trust me, being surprised is worse," she told him.

He sighed and sat back in his chair. "I suppose…becoming Batman."

"Really? But he's like one of the most bad-ass detective super-heroes out there," Cyborg leaned back, watching Robin.

"Yeah. And he's alone. He's cold," Robin said quietly. "The only thing that ever makes him smile is a fight. I spend my days fighting crime because it's what needs to be done. But that isn't what my life should be about. I know B-Batman cared about me to some extent, but there's no room for family when all he thinks about is revenge. Everyone who cares about him either leaves, gets driven away by him, or gets killed. I don't want to be like that."

"That's a pretty cold assessment of the guy," Cyborg noted.

Robin shrugged, "I lived with him for three years. Maybe he's changed. Maybe not. All I know is that I'd rather be me, less bad-ass than him, and still have my friends."

"My fear is being returned to the Citadel," Starfire said in a soft tone.

"What's that?" Beast Boy asked.

Starfire looked at him and for the first time, Raven found the alien's green eyes to be completely unfamiliar to her. "It was a place where I was enslaved. By my sister. Believe me when I say that it makes what Light is doing look tame in comparison." She looked at her plate, "I never wish to relive any portion of that experience. And I know that if I come across Phobia, that is what she will do." She leaned on Robin's shoulder, staring at something that none of them could see.

"Mine would have to be the first moment I woke up with these cybernetics on," Cyborg raised his mechanical arm to stare at it. "I thought I was a monster. I got treated like a monster. And I have never wished more powerfully for death than I did then."

"But as Cyborg, you save hundreds of lives," Starfire said.

"And my life…my human life ended."

"What about you, Beast Boy? What's your fear?" Robin asked after a quiet minute.

The changling shrugged, pulling his hand back from Raven's as he answered, "Don't know. Any handful of things."

"The Beast?" Starfire suggested.

"Nah," he waved that away, "that guy's not so bad."

Robin raised a brow, "Not so bad? He destroyed several parts of the Tower. He kicked my butt and Cy's. And he's 'not so bad'?"

"He's pure animal. That's all. I've been training with it. He knows that you four are my pack and he'd never hurt you," Beast Boy said.

"You sound pretty confident," Cyborg said slowly.

Beast Boy stared at him, "I am. I wouldn't risk you guys being near him if I wasn't completely positive."

"I'm impressed," Robin said with a smile. "To get that part of you so under control had to be a struggle."

Beast Boy smirked, "Well, Mr. Hero of the World, I had to do something significant if I was gonna live up to your reputation."

Robin fidgeted, uncomfortable, "I'm not…I didn't want…"

"Relax," Beast Boy said, standing up, "you deserve a little recognition. Besides, maybe you'll show up the big guy in Gotham. You've saved the world."

The rest of them followed Beast Boy's lead, heading back up into their rooms. There was a minor hesitation when Cyborg stopped in the middle of the two doors, unsure of which one to go into. Raven went into her room and Beast Boy followed, shutting the door behind him and ending Cyborg's dilemma.

Raven got ready for bed, talking to Beast Boy through the closed bathroom door as she washed up. "You really have the Beast under control?"

"Not so much control as understanding him. I know why he does what he does, so I can handle it rather than fight it," he answered from the bedroom.

"And why does he do what he does?" Raven said, brushing her teeth.

"It's all instinct. Protect my turf, protect my food, drive off other males, hurt anyone who hurts my pack. All alpha male stuff."

"Alpha male, huh? I think Robin and Cyborg might have something to say about that." She shut off the light as she climbed into bed next to him. She kept a careful distance away, knowing that it was always futile by morning.

"Hey, when the Beast gets going, not even they could stop him," Beast Boy chuckled from his side of the bed.

"Must be nice, not to be afraid of him any longer."

He paused, "Yeah. It is. A weight I didn't know I had, now that I know he won't hurt you guys."

"He didn't hurt me before."

"No. He didn't."

She noticed his quieter voice, "Why?"

"He knew you were my pack. And when you got hurt…he just reacted. Cy and Rob kept trying to stop him and Star looked like she was going to try and take you away. But he knows now."

Raven was quiet and stared up at the ceiling, thinking over what he had said.

"It's stable, you know," Beast Boy said suddenly.

"Hmm?"

"The ceiling. You're staring at it like it's threatening to fall on you."

She looked over at the slightly darker form in the much darker room that was Beast Boy, "You can see me?"

"Part animal, remember? I've got good night vision. What's on your mind?"

She rolled on her side to face him, "If you aren't afraid of the Beast, what are you afraid of?"

"This again?" He didn't sound angry, just evasive. "I don't know what it's gonna be."

She waited, knowing he could see her watching.

He gave in with a sigh, "I'm not sure. Fears seem to work pretty closely with what someone thinks is most important, right?"

"How so?"

"Well, Robin's afraid of his balance between being a hero and being a vigilante and doesn't want to cross it. Star's always valued her freedom and right to chose, which she wouldn't have if she's a slave. Cyborg is always struggling with the idea of what makes a man and he thought that cybernetics made him less of one." He took a breath, "You…you think what's inside is important, which is why you're scared of your genetics. Plus, you value your family above all, which is why you'd fear us coming after you."

"Okay," she said quietly, "that makes sense. So what's most important to you? How could it be corrupted into a fear?"

She saw him move, even though she was nearly blind in the dark. Even if she couldn't, she would have heard him rolling towards her. Though, even if the lights had been on and he'd been flashing a neon sign, she wouldn't have expected anything like what happened.

He unerringly found her mouth with his and kissed her gently. This wasn't the kind of kiss on the cheek that she would give to or receive from Robin or Cyborg. This wasn't the kind of kiss that middle school girls got from their first boyfriend. This was a kiss that made Raven very aware that she was lying in a bed with this handsome, half-naked man and wasn't that wonderfully convenient.

She somehow found herself on her back with Beast Boy leaning over her. She couldn't see much, but she was hyperaware of his hand on her face, the opposite elbow brushing her shoulder as he propped himself up, the pressure of his leg against hers. Even more surprisingly was the fact that she was kissing him back, her hand on the back of his neck and pulling him closer. This wasn't just a convenient thing. This wasn't even just a physical thing, though that definitely held some sway. This was a serious feelings thing.

Beast Boy pulled away slowly, and rested his forehead on her shoulder. His lips brushed her skin as he quietly answered her question, his voice rather rough. "_You_ are what's most important to me, Raven. And I don't want to consider how Phobia'll turn that against me."

Raven drew in her own shaky breath, "Beast Boy-"

"Don't tell me we can't and don't tell me you don't, because both of those are a lie. I know you care about me. More than you want to say. Because there's a reason that we talked so much and how you could share so much with me that you've never told anyone else. There's a reason for how much it hurt when you stopped. And that same reason makes your nightmares less when I'm with you, makes you blush when I say things that are tame compared to others." He lifted his head and she could feel his eyes on hers, even if she couldn't see them. "You don't have to admit to anything or label me as anything. Just tell me I'm not wrong."

How could he so eloquently say the things that snarled up in her own head? "You aren't wrong. You're very, very right."

Raven leaned up and, thank Azar, found his mouth on the first try. He followed her back down to the bed, a little more intense this time. He pressed her down into the mattress, his tongue sweeping across her lip. She let her lips part and found that he tasted like cinnamon and something like the forest. It was addicting.

While one hand kept Beast Boy willingly trapped against her mouth, the other wandered down his shoulder and side, memorizing the cords of muscle and the raised lines that were the scars he had accumulated. How many did he have? How many were since the Brotherhood?

His hand trailed down her neck to her shoulder, brushing the scars from her gunshots. He paused and pulled away from her mouth. She would have complained had he not kissed each of the three scars and then turned his attention to her neck.

He nipped and kissed her, learning which spots made her jump or gasp. She should have felt embarrassed at how responsive she was, but all she could concentrate on was how good it felt. Beast Boy turned back to the scar on her shoulder and Raven took advantage to return the favor.

Leaning up, she gently kissed his neck, taunt from turning to the side, and then dragged her teeth across it. A tiny growl escaped Beast Boy's chest and he froze in place against her shoulder.

For a terrible second, she thought she did something wrong. It's not like she was overly experienced in this area, after all. Then Beast Boy turned to meet her eyes and even in the dark she could see how dilated his pupils were. Much more than a bedroom romp could make happen.

He took a breath and his eyes returned to normal, though still slightly darker than usual. "Much as that wants to make me do the opposite, maybe we should hang on a second. Light and Phobia are loose and apparently after us. You and I only just sort of admitted this out loud…"

"Our family is in the next room over," Raven added.

Beast Boy chuckled, "That, too." He brushed his nose along her cheek, "Don't think this was a fleeting thing or that I just needed a distraction. This is very much real and I'm not going to let you forget it. But…maybe we should take a breath and go about this a little slower."

"I'm not the one who started it," she told him. "And we were going slow. Sort of."

"Trust me," Beast Boy kissed her cheek and rolled off of her to lie on his back. "You do that thing with your teeth again and we will be going the exact opposite of slow."

She couldn't help a little bit of a smirk, "That good, huh?"

Beast Boy hummed in his chest, "You have no idea."

After that, Raven figured she could throw her reserves out the window. She curled up against Beast Boy and put her head on his chest, listening to his heart go almost as fast as hers. Wrapping his arms around her as if she was made to fit him, Beast Boy held her close.

"Goodnight," she said against him, unable to stop smiling.

Beast Boy took her hand in the dark and held it tightly, "Goodnight, Rae."

For the first night in a very long time, Raven slept without a single nightmare.


	17. Mnemophobia

A/N: Wow! The first time one of my stories has broken 100 reviews! I'm flabbergasted. Thank you. So very, very much. I wish I had time to respond to every review individually. Please know that I read and reread every one and take them all to heart. The action is picking up, so I hope you enjoy it.

I don't own Teen Titans. They belong to DC, Cartoon Network, and the fabulous writers who created these characters. I worship them and only humbly play with their creations.

Mnemophobia. Fear of memories.

* * *

><p><em>Really?<em> Cyborg thought.

He picked at his breakfast, human eye on his food while the cybernetic one examined his friends. Star and Robin were obvious. Their chairs were tilted towards one another and Starfire leaned towards him. They were blatantly out in the open. He had resigned himself to that the second Star flew towards Robin at the Titans East Tower. Not that he resented it. It was about time – and that was an opinion every Titan shared.

But _this_? This was new.

He reached up for his cup of coffee, glancing at his other two teammates. Raven had gotten food, odd enough in itself. That was gone now and she had tugged her knees up towards her chest, her fingers wrapped around a mug of hot tea. She looked as tired as the rest of them, but more relaxed than she had been in days. Her hair hung around her face and shoulders, different since she had been pulling it back every day before they met for meals. She smiled at Starfire's comments about the city and was clearly comfortable.

And then there was Beast Boy. The kid had grown, even just since he had seen him in the Tower. He wasn't as angry, though whenever Light's name was mentioned his eyes tightened. He was just as relaxed as Raven, more obvious as he lounged in his chair, long legs stretched out completely in front of him. He had put away a significant amount of food during the meal and now he kept his hands linked behind his head. For one moment earlier, it was as if he was going to let his arm fall along the back of Raven's chair. But he saw Cyborg's gaze and stilled his movements. Oddly, Beast Boy didn't panic or even flush, like Robin still did from time to time when Cyborg saw him and Star getting cozy. Beast Boy stopped and slowly returned his hand behind his head. And then he smiled. A slow, satisfied one that made Cyborg arch a brow.

If there was something going on, the changling was doing absolutely nothing to hide it. He just wasn't advertizing it.

Starfire and Robin's relationship had been a ridiculous show that dragged on and everyone knew that they were well suited for one another. If something was going on between half-demon Raven and the suddenly confident and lethal Beast Boy? Well, it was, most eloquently, something more akin to a giant cluster-fuck than a show. Those two were like oil and water when it came to dealing with one another. How in the world did this happen?

Well, Cyborg sat back and drained his coffee, he knew how it happened. Split two people up who had known one another for years, introduce a little change in character or behavior, and then push them back together again. Maybe something had been there before, but with all the people in the city and all the crime and all the togetherness of their team, it had just been something that got pushed back and out of the way. Or maybe the two just spontaneously combusted. Whichever.

"What's the plan, Rob?" Cyborg asked. His head was too tangled up with the thoughts of couples and nonsense.

"Search the city in grids," Robin said immediately. He may be in love but the kid still knew when to take command. "The police were notified by email last night about Phobia with her name and description." He looked up at Raven as if he was going to apologize, but she shook her head and he moved on. "We couldn't find Light yesterday, but that doesn't mean he isn't around."

"If he was asleep and not dreaming, I may have missed him," Raven said. "Minds work differently when people are conscious."

"Why would dreaming have anything to do with it?" Star asked.

Raven stared into her mug, "His dreams would be much like his waking thoughts. Sex and blood. I would recognize them."

"I'm sure lots of people dream about that kind of thing," Robin said, as uncomfortable as the rest of them.

Beast Boy stared at him, "Maybe. But Titan's don't usually guest star in the every-day guy's dream."

Cyborg stared up at the empath, wondering not for the first time just how far she had delved into this guy's mind. How much had she witnessed?

Robin cleared his throat, "All right. I want Star and Beast Boy in the air, sweeping along the blocks. Raven, you and Cyborg are on the streets in the T-car. Maybe he went below ground and out of range. I'll be looking through the site where he was last holing out, maybe there was something left that we could use. Stay with your partner and I'll be checking in with you periodically throughout the day."

"Sure you're safe on your own?" Beast Boy asked.

"I'll be fine." Robin looked at all of them in turn. "Everyone just be certain to take special care. We don't need any accidents."

Cyborg agreed with that.

They returned to their rooms to grab whatever they needed before setting out for the day. Cyborg chose not to notice that Raven's cheeks were slightly pink when she and Beast Boy came out of their room.

"You ready?" Cyborg asked as they got to the lobby of the hotel.

Raven pulled back her hair and nodded. "As I'll ever be." She eyed the T-car with something like relief. "At least I'm not a sitting duck on a cold roof this time."

"That bad?"

"No, just uncomfortable." She slipped into the passenger side of the car as Cyborg started it up. Raven smiled as she looked around, buckling her seatbet. "I have to say, I missed your baby," she told him.

Cyborg chuckled and pulled out of the hotel's parking lot. Starfire and Beast Boy flew off over them. He noticed how Raven's eyes followed the little green bird. Cyborg bit his tongue on the questions he'd like to ask. Now wasn't the time.

"So you're gonna track Light while I drive aimlessly?" Cyborg asked her.

Raven reclined the chair a bit and closed her eyes, "Only aimless until I find him." She took a deep breath and then sighed out slowly. Soon only the sound of her quiet breathing filled the car.

Cyborg glanced at her out of the corner of his eye. He wondered what had happened to the little girl he used to know. It had seemed like just yesterday she was hiding behind her books and doors and shutting the rest of them out. Now she was smiling and chatting. Maybe it was because he had been a bit older than all of them when they started the Titans that seeing her now, as an adult, was still a bit of a shock. Rae had just turned what, 18? BB the same. Starfire was 19, to the best of their knowledge. Robin, 20. That left him in the lead at 22.

He hadn't noticed that much of an age difference between him, Robin or Raven. Robin because he was too uptight and serious when they were younger. Raven because she had always seemed more adult than all of them put together. Of course, with the Brotherhood, they all seemed much older than they were.

"Take the next left, please," Raven whispered.

Cyborg followed her directions, keeping an eye out. A few more silent minutes passed.

"Right," she prompted. She tilted her head, "This is weird…yesterday he was nowhere to be found, and now he's within minutes of the hotel?"

He turned and Raven sat up a little straighter, her eyes still closed.

"He's close. Very close. Left here."

Cyborg opened his communicator, "Raven might have Light. We're about six miles east of the hotel."

"That's close. Any sign of Phobia?" Robin asked.

Cyborg looked at Raven, wondering if he would have to repeat the question. Raven slowly shook her head.

"No," Cyborg answered.

Robin said, "Keep an eye out. And be careful that he doesn't-"

"Cyborg!" Raven yelled.

He slammed on the brakes, the car screeching as he wrenched the wheel to the side. They barely avoided the figure in the center of the street. Cyborg couldn't spend any more time on that as the car flipped, rolling over three times before stopping on the roof.

Though his human side was shocked and dazed, his cybernetic side never stopped functioning. He quickly replayed it while trying to get his human side up to moving. There was a person in the middle of the street, right? A man. He looked closer. Oh, shit.

"Raven?" he mumbled. "Raven? We have to move. We have to move right now. The man in the street, it was-"

"Light," she whispered, coughing.

"Can you move?" he asked, feeling a bit stronger, if more in pain.

"Teleport. Can take you with me. Not entirely sure where we'll end up. Somewhere in the city." She moved and gasped quietly.

"You okay?"

"Less talking. More moving," Raven said. "Can you reach me?"

He stretched out his arm and touched her wrist. "Gotcha."

"Just give me a second to catch my bearings, my head's spinning…"

Cyborg turned his head to the side and caught the sight of boots striding towards them, "We don't have a second. He's coming."

"Just…wait…"

Cyborg, despite his ringing ears, heard the sound of something charging. And he thought he knew what.

"Raven!"

"Azarath."

The steps were getting much closer.

"Metrion."

Cyborg heard a chuckle from outside, "You don't know much I've been looking forward to this, Raven." Even though the words weren't directed at him, Cyborg shuddered.

"Zinthos," Raven breathed.

In the moment between Raven's word and her teleport, Cyborg felt a blinding white hot light against his skin. The metal on the car shrieked as Light attacked them. Cyborg opened his mouth to scream and then-

It was quiet.

"Raven?" Cyborg asked.

He heard a communicator yell from somewhere near him, "Raven?"

Cyborg blinked away the spots and sat up, hearing Beast Boy's voice in the communicator keep asking for the empath. They were in a park somewhere, trees around them. Raven was lying a few feet away, eyes closed. Her lip was bleeding and there were shallow cuts on her arms, but she didn't appear to be in too bad of shape.

"Raven?" he asked again.

She moaned, reaching a hand up to her head. "That hurt."

"You were cutting it a little close," Cyborg said, double checking that his human arm hadn't suffered any burns.

"My head was spinning, if I hadn't taken that extra second, only half of us would have ended up here. And I mean half of each of us," she told him. "Are you okay? What-"

"Dammit, Raven, if you're alive and not answering I'm going to kill you!" Beast Boy yelled into the communicator.

She picked it up and opened it, "I'm fine. We're both fine."

"What happened?" That was Robin. "I was talking to Cy and the next thing we know there's an explosion."

Cyborg looked around. Yup, there it was to the south. A plume of smoke rising up.

"Wow," Raven whispered. "That was really close."

"You're telling me," Cyborg muttered.

"Was it Light?" Starfire asked.

Raven said, "Yes. Stepped into the road and then blew up the car."

"But you're okay?" Beast Boy asked.

"We are," Cyborg said. "But my car isn't."

Raven glanced at him, "Sorry."

He shrugged. "Better that than us."

"You two head back to the hotel. Go straight there," Robin said. "We'll regroup there soon."

Raven said, "There's something weird going on with them today. They're bold."

"Any sign of them on your end, Beast Boy?" Robin asked.

He must have shifted back into animal form, because Starfire answered, "We thought we caught a glimpse of Light a few streets up, but if he was near Raven and Cyborg then it must be Phobia."

Raven looked up, as if she could see Beast Boy and Starfire flying above them, "Where are you two?"

"South of 64th," Starfire said.

Raven glanced at Cyborg, "We could go and meet them."

"Raven," Robin said firmly. "You were both just in a car accident. You need some time to recover."

"We're fine!" Raven insisted.

"Go back to the hotel. That's an order."

For a moment, Cyborg was absolute certain that Raven was going to disobey Robin. She glared at the communicator and her jaw clenched. Finally she sighed, "Fine."

"Thank you."

Raven shut the communicator and stood up slowly. She handled her right arm carefully.

"How's your arm?" Cyborg asked, following her. One of his joints was giving off sparks on occasion, but it wasn't anything fifteen minutes with a screwdriver couldn't fix. They had been incredibly lucky to have survived both the crash and Light's attack with little more than bumps and bruises to show for it.

"Just sore. I must have wrenched it in the accident." She rubbed at the muscle.

Cyborg was silent for a while as they walked. They figured they were about four blocks from the hotel. Finally he decided to say what he was thinking. "I didn't think you were going to listen to Robin."

She shrugged and winced, "Ow. Well, I suppose he's right. I guess it's just weird for me."

"What's weird?"

"Being part of a team again. I'm so used to it being much more imperative that I kept going. If I couldn't keep on a trail, I might lose them and take days to get them back," Raven said. "It's just…hard to adjust to having people to watch my back again."

"I know what you mean," Cyborg said.

She looked up at him, shading her eyes, "You never really talked about your time with the Brotherhood. Just as awful as the rest of us?"

"Probably," he smiled.

"Well," Raven said, "minus the weekend you spent with Bee."

Cyborg sputtered, "H-how do you know about that?"

"I'm a very powerful empath, Cyborg," she said, walking ahead. "Also, Starfire told me."

"Starfire? How'd she find out?"

"Bumblebee told her."

"I told her to keep it quiet so that-"

"Keep what quiet?" Raven asked, smirking.

Cyborg flushed, "Nothing."

She laughed quietly and Cyborg noticed something odd.

"You know, you're acting a lot like BB does. Teasing people, pulling jokes on them," he said calmly.

She didn't even blink, "Really? Odd."

"You two seemed to have gotten pretty cozy since I last saw you," Cyborg continued. "I mean, at the Tower you two were barely even talking. Now it's like we can't get you two to separate."

"We hashed some things out. It's much easier to understand someone once they explain their motives," Raven replied, still cool and composed. Cyborg was actually kind of envious as to how she could hold herself together. Most others would have blushed or stuttered or denied it all far too much.

"So you and BB. Have to say, I hadn't seen that one coming," Cyborg just laid it all out in the open. She would probably deny that calmly, changing the subject so she wouldn't-

"Neither did Beast Boy or I," Raven told him, her mouth curling up in a small smile.

"Wait, so you two really are together?" Cyborg stopped on the sidewalk, staring at her. "Holy crap, Rob is never going to-"

Raven gasped and grabbed her head, cutting off his excitement.

"Raven?" He grabbed her elbow as she wavered a little on her feet.

She squeezed her eyes shut, tears leaking out of the corners, "Something's happened. Star just attacked Beast Boy. He fell out of the sky and Starfire's destroying the streets." Raven's eyes shot open and she turned around, taking off running down the street.

Cyborg caught up with her, "What happened?"

"Beast Boy said it was Phobia. She attacked them and now Star is going nuts." She grabbed her communicator, flipping it open.

"Wait," Cyborg asked, "Beast Boy 'said'? How did he say anything to you?"

"Robin," Raven said into the communicator, ignoring Cyborg completely. "Something's happened to Star and Beast Boy. They're on 51st and Gibson."

"On my way," Robin said. He couldn't exactly hide his concern for the alien.

Cyborg and Raven just kept running, ignoring the exclamations of the civilians they passed. They were only a few blocks away from the others. They must have been heading back to the hotel. Cyborg pushed himself faster, bumping into a woman. "Sorry," he called as he ran by her.

They turned the corner and stared at the sight in front of them. The asphalt was completely torn up. Cars lay on their sides, steaming. Starfire stood in the middle of it all. She turned as Cyborg and Raven were busy trying to comprehend what had happened. She glared and raised her fists, glowing with green power.

"Guys, move!" Beast Boy yelled from wherever he was.

Raven threw herself to one side and Cyborg the other not a moment too soon. The ground exploded where they had been standing, sending them flying even further than they had been anticipating.

Cyborg, his metal pieces ringing, clambered up and hid in one of the alleys lining the street. He glanced out at the street, Starfire too busy attacking cars to notice him.

"Jesus, Star…" Cyborg stared at the alien girl.

She was panicking. Her eyes were wild and looked at things between the Titans that they couldn't see. Her hands and eyes glowed and were ready to fire on whoever might try to get close.

"Stay back!" she yelled. "I will not be returned there!"

Cyborg saw Beast Boy on his side of the street and edged a little closer, trying to stay on the edge of Star's vision.

"What happened, man?"

Blood ran from Beast Boy's nose, "Phobia happened. She hit Star bad. She hit me right out of the sky and we landed here. I think the delusion is getting stronger or she's getting more terrified the longer it goes on."

His head cocked to the side and he stepped to the side, peering over Starfire.

"What is it?" Cybord asked.

"Raven said Starfire's heart is gonna burst if we can't do something," Beast Boy told him.

"Dammit, Rob better get here fast if we're gonna-"

He was cut off by the sound of running feet. Robin skidded to a stop at Cyborg's side, his eyes locked on the girl in the street. "Phobia?"

"Yeah," Cyborg said. Robin started forward and Cyborg stopped him, "Wait a second. She won't recognize you. She'll attack."

"I know. But we've got to get her to level out or she's not going to survive this. Where's Raven?" Robin asked.

"Behind Star." Beast Boy moved next to Robin. "She said she might be able to stop the delusion, but we've got to distract Star long enough for her to get close."

Cyborg nearly saw the gears in Robin's head turning. "Okay. Okay, Beast Boy head to her left. Cy, her right. I'll try to talk her down enough for Raven to move in, but be prepared." He paused and then said quietly, "I don't have to tell you we're not going to fire on her."

"Wouldn't dream of it," Cyborg said.

Beast Boy glanced up and down the street, "We'd better make this fast. I doubt that this show is purely for our entertainment."

Cyborg nodded. This screamed of a distraction, but what could they do? Starfire could take down the entire city block and more if left to suffer her fears, if her heart didn't give out first. He edged towards Starfire's right, keeping one eye on Robin and one on the alien.

"Star?" Robin called, his hands held up. "Starfire?"

She turned towards him, her teeth bared, "Stay back."

"It's me. It's Robin."

"Do not try to come any closer or I will burn you off this rock," Starfire said, aiming her fists at Robin.

Cyborg saw a small form dart out from behind a car and start moving towards the alien.

Robin stopped moving, "I know you think we're trying to take you back to the Citadel, but that isn't true. We're your friends, Star. Me, Beast Boy, Cyborg. We're just here to help."

"Lies."

"No, no. Come on, don't you remember us?" he asked.

Starfire took a step back from him and Raven froze in her place. She was scant yards away from Starfire now.

"Star!" Cyborg yelled, making sure she wouldn't look behind her. "It's true. You have to try and remember us. Remember how Silkie ate up half the Tower?"

"Remember when I shot you in the face with motor oil?" Beast Boy added. "You called me a klorbag varblernelk until I apologized to you."

Her hands lowered slightly and she tilted her head.

"Remember the first time you landed on Earth? You destroyed half the city and thought being nice was weak," Robin said. "But you've been here for years now and I know that you can remember me. Come on, Star." He stepped a little closer and she didn't raise her hands. "You and I just finally got a chance and I'm not going to lose you to Phobia."

Cyborg didn't dare to breathe as Starfire let her hands fall to her sides, "R-Robin? I can't…" She shook her head like she was trying to clear her vision, "I can't see…"

"It's all right, Star," Robin said. "Just close your eyes and trust me. I'll make sure you're okay." He walked slowly towards her and got within arm's reach. Raven was just feet away from her and moving closer every second.

Robin reached out and brushed her hand with his fingers, "Okay? Just relax and I'm going to-"

"No!" she screamed. "It's a trick!" She pushed Robin with all of her strength and he flew back. Cyborg froze as Raven jumped towards the alien.

Starfire turned and caught Raven midair, holding her up by the throat, "No one from the Citadel will ever touch me again," she said quietly.

"Raven!" Beast Boy yelled, running towards her.

Raven grabbed Star's wrist, her face turning colors as she struggled for air. She wouldn't fire on the alien. She just couldn't.

Turning on his cannon, Cyborg figured that maybe a blast to her side might knock Raven loose enough to get away. They'd just have to deal with Starfire another way.

Raven's mouth moved, like she was trying to say something. Starfire leaned in to listen as her grip tightened.

Cyborg aimed his cannon-

Beast Boy shifted and the green tiger crouched to pounce-

Struggling to get his feet beneath him, Robin yelled from behind them, "Starfire, don't-"

Raven lifted her free hand and touched it to Starfire's temple-

Starfire crumpled to the ground, releasing Raven. The empath winced as she landed, but quickly moved over to Star and touched her temple again. Cyborg and Beast Boy reached them at the same time, the changling shifting back into his human form.

"Rae," he immediately asked, "are you okay?"

She nodded, not really paying attention to him. She closed her eyes and bent over Starfire. She flinched and leaned back, opening her eyes in a hurry.

"Everything okay?" Cyborg asked.

She nodded, "Yeah." Her voice was hoarse.

Robin finally got there, "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine," she said, trying to clear her throat. "She's sleeping and I've blocked out those fears so when she wakes up, she'll be okay. But Robin," she looked up at him, "there's no way she can go against Phobia again. Please don't make her."

"I won't," he said. "Was it really that bad?"

Raven looked back down at Starfire, "If it had gone on much longer, she might have tried to take her own life. She fears returning to the Citadel more than anything. She can't go near Phobia," her voice started to shake. "I had no idea…please, Robin, don't make her."

Cyborg was sure his own face was as shocked as Robin was. He had never heard Raven's voice sound so terrified. The Boy Wonder nodded belatedly, "I-I promise. She won't have to go near her again."

Raven rubbed her face, her fingers shaking. Beast Boy knelt down next to her and put an arm around her shoulders, whispering something in her ear. Raven nodded and got to her feet, her expression hardening.

"Starfire has to go to a hospital," she said.

"For being scared?" Cyborg asked.

Raven bent down to her friend, "She basically had an incredibly intense panic attack. Remember Robin's condition after he thought Slade had returned? That's what's happening here, though it isn't because of some drug. Her heart rate is still elevated, she wasn't getting a sufficient amount of oxygen to her brain. Any other number of symptoms." She looked back at the robot, "She could have died from fear."

"Besides, getting her to a hospital makes it less likely that Phobia or Light can get to her," Beast Boy chipped in. "But someone should still stay with her."

"That means we're losing two members before we even run into Light," Robin said, rubbing the back of his neck. "Fine. Raven, you'll take Star-"

"No," she said firmly.

Robin looked startled. "It'll be safer if you-"

"I've fought Phobia before and won," she told him. "You're going to need me out there. And Beast Boy can track her by scent while I can find Light through his mind. We need to go. The longer we wait, the more damage he could be doing."

Robin looked at Cyborg, "Cy…"

The robot tugged Robin away from the two others, "I want you to think long and hard about this, Rob. When she wakes up, who is she going to need to see there for her?"

"But Light-"

"Light or Starfire. Pick one."

Robin closed his eyes for a moment. Then he opened them and looked a little stronger, "Starfire. Always."

"Good. We can handle Light and Phobia. We've got this. Get her there safely." Cyborg glanced around, "How are you going to get her there?"

"Easy." He walked over to one of the cars that had been abandoned when Starfire first appeared. The windows were down, but the keys were nowhere to be found.

"I think you're out of luck," Cyborg said as Robin got into the driver's seat. "No keys. I'll call 911 and see if we can get-"

The car started and Cyborg peered inside to see that Robin had hotwired the car. An illegal move. By Robin.

Beast Boy said from behind Cyborg, "Dude. Since when do you know how to hotwire cars?" He was carrying Starfire and with Raven's help got her in the backseat.

Robin smiled thinly, "Raven wasn't the only one to call a truce with Red X for a time."

Cyborg shut the driver's side door, keeping his hand on the window, "I don't think you have to be worried about becoming Batman."

Robin frowned, "Why not?"

"Because he never would have been able to make the same choice you did. And you made the right one, man."

Robin smiled quickly, "Thanks. I want you guys to track these two. Do not attempt to take them down unless you have no other choice. And stay together. Keep me updated on absolutely everything that happens."

"Of course."

"And Cy?" Robin asked, leaning out the window.

"Yeah, man?"

Robin glanced at Raven and Cyborg, "Keep each other safe."

Cyborg touched Robin's shoulder, "We will."

Robin rolled up the window and took off towards the hospital, driving quickly but carefully.

"So what's the plan?" Cyborg asked the others.

Beast Boy calmly said, "Track them, find them, take them down." He shifted into a wolf and started walking down the street, his nose in the air.

Raven followed the wolf, speaking firmly, "Simple."

"Robin said to wait unless we had no choice," Cyborg said, falling in step next to her and keeping an eye on the wolf ahead.

Raven kept walking, but glanced over her shoulder at him, "Do you think these two are going to give us a choice?"


	18. Optophobia

A/N: Ahem. I have no excuses for how long it took me to post this. :( Diablo 3 did come out, but that isn't good enough. I hope you accept this chapter as my apology.

I don't own Teen Titans. They might mutiny under my reign and I know I couldn't handle them. They belong to much more creative and talented people than I.

Optophobia. Fear of opening one's eyes.

* * *

><p>They had only been moving for about ten minutes before Raven's communicator rang. Beast Boy paused, but never shifted out of his wolf form. It would have been a waste of energy.<p>

"Robin?" Raven said, stepping to the side so Cyborg could see. "Is Starfire all rig-"

Robin interrupted, "She's fine. I just got a call from Officer Campbell, he said he spoke with you before."

Beast Boy cocked his head, Campbell?

"The security guards at the high school just called him. Two people just broke in there. A witness described them and they sound like Light and Phobia."

"A school?" Raven said quietly.

"It's Saturday," Cyborg reassured her. "There won't be anyone on campus."

"Actually," Robin told them, "a girls' soccer team had an away game last night and just got in this morning. They're trapped in there."

"How can they be trapped inside a school?" Cyborg asked.

Beast Boy started moving, vaguely remembering the direction of the high school closest to the area. He heard Raven and Cyborg following him.

"It's in a bad area of town. Fences, gates, locks. Besides, Light caught them in the bus. They're all trapped inside," Robin told them.

"We're on our way," Cyborg reassured him.

"I'll teleport us there, it'll be fas-"

"Guys," Robin stopped them. "Light's already attacked the bus driver. We can't tell if he's still alive or not."

Beast Boy looked over his shoulder. Murder? Beatings and rapes were one thing, but it was a far cry away from killing someone.

Cyborg looked at Raven, "Can you get us right by the bus?"

_No,_ Beast Boy told her. _Get us just outside the school. I'll sneak in and see where they are. Then you two can follow me in._

Raven nodded and relayed the information to Cyborg. The robot nodded, "Good plan. Let's do it."

In a breath, they were swallowed up in darkness and deposited on the sidewalk four miles away. Raven and Cyborg immediately ducked down and moved behind one of the main pillars. Beast Boy shifted into a tiny sparrow and flew over the iron fences that blocked in the high school.

He knew it was only a minute at most, the school wasn't that large. But god, it felt like an hour before he made it to the bus. He stayed on the roof nearest to the bus, eyeing the situation. There were thirteen people on there. Eleven players, an older woman that looked like the coach, and a man on the floor of the bus, unmoving. Beast Boy hoped he wasn't dead. There was no way he could go down and check without risking being seen. Phobia stood by the door to the nearest building, like she was waiting for something and without knowing where Light was, he couldn't risk going down to the bus. The girls were huddled in the back and almost constantly checking the door of the building closest to them. Safe to say that's where the bastard might be hiding.

The building looked like it was a gymnasium. Two floors, maybe a basement. Roof access. Lots of places to hide. Raven could figure out where Light was within seconds, but that would leave Phobia to go after the bus. He didn't know how to drive a bus or knock down fences. He still didn't have his license; no need for one. He felt the beginnings of a plan and flew back towards his friends.

He shifted a few feet above the ground, dropping the last few feet. "Kids are all still in the bus with a coach. Driver is dead or unconscious on the floor and Phobia is keeping guard. She's far away from the bus, but close enough to cause problems. I'm not certain where Light is, but the only building around is the two story gym. Could you find Light in there?"

Raven nodded, "Of course."

Beast Boy looked at Cyborg, "Can you drive a bus?"

"Well, yeah, sure. Why do you…" Cyborg trailed off and glared. "Not happening, man."

"Unfortunately, it has to happen," Beast Boy said firmly. "You can drive the bus, blow out the fences with your cannon, and protect the team if one of them gets away from us."

"Raven can drive and take down the fence and-"

"And she's the only one who can pinpoint Light with any certainty. I don't know about you, but if Light's evolved into killing people, I don't want him to sneak up behind me," Beast Boy argued.

"What will you two be doing?" Cyborg asked.

"Holding them off until you or the cops can join us." Beast Boy didn't have any illusions. He and Raven might be able to take down one of them with some prep, but not both of them.

Cyborg shook his head, "This is insane. And could go wrong at any moment."

"Yup," Beast Boy said. "So, I'll morph onto the gym, Raven will teleport you into the bus and then herself out of it and towards the gym. We'll go in together and distract them long enough to get that team away."

"Are you okay with this?" Cyborg asked Raven.

Raven shrugged, "We don't have an option. Beast Boy's plan is our best choice."

"Fine. Fine," he waved his hands. "I'm outvoted. You two better take damn special care with them."

"We will, Cy," Beast Boy said quietly. "Let me morph, give me thirty seconds, then get Cyborg into the bus."

"Easy," Raven said. "Be careful." _Please_.

"I will. See you in a minute."

"Good luck, B," Cyborg said.

The changling nodded and morphed into a bird again. He flew quickly back towards the gym and perched on top of it. He made good time, less than fifteen seconds. Waiting wasn't his strong suit, but he did it the best he could. Another unbearable ten seconds passed and then Beast Boy heard a noise. He hopped towards the edge and peered down. Dammit.

_Raven, he's coming out. Light's heading towards the bus. You've got five seconds, tops._

_ More than I need._

He saw a black flash in the bus. A figure moved towards the wheel. Light was immediately reacting and started running towards the bus. "No!" He shot a beam of light directly at the yellow vehicle.

A wall of black appeared and blocked the beam, sending it straight back. Light was hit with his own weapon and flew backwards. He rolled onto his knees and glared at the bus. Phobia didn't say anything, but headed straight inside the building. Beast Boy remembered what Raven said. She was good at surprise attacks and mental tricks. Not a fist-fight. She was running. Coward.

_Get him away from the bus, Rae,_ Beast Boy said.

_ Okay. Umm…right, stupid ideas first._

_What?_

Raven appeared on the roof next to him. "Hey, Light!"

_What are you doing?_

"Getting him away from the bus," she said quietly. "Light!"

Doctor Light looked up and up until he saw her. Even from here, Beast Boy saw his eyes narrow.

"You want those girls?" she yelled at him. "Or me?"

Beast Boy shifted into his human form as Light spat out something obscene that was gone in the wind. He ran straight into the building and Beast Boy could almost hear the sound of his boots on the staircase. "That was probably not the best offer to make," he murmured.

"Got him moving, didn't it?" she asked. She flexed her fingers and faced the roof access door. "He's coming up here."

"And Phobia?"

"She's difficult to track. But from what I can tell, she's coming up here, too."

Beast Boy heard the bus start up and screech away. He hoped that Cyborg would get them to a police station or something. Now he was certain he could hear footsteps on the stairs. "They're close."

"Yup," she said calmly. She stared at the doorway, almost completely calm but for the tension in her fingers. In the distance, Beast Boy heard Cyborg's cannon go off and the sounds of the bus disappeared. Cyborg was gone and the team was safe. Now they just had to wait until they got back.

"You okay?" he asked. He knew better than everyone except her about her nightmares.

"This is good. Fair fight, all out in the open." She nodded slowly. "We can do this. This is what we trained for. An entire army of villains tried to stop us and they failed. Two thugs with a complex?" Raven shrugged. "We take our beatings and we keep going. This is no different. Just might be a few more beatings than usual."

He couldn't help but be a little amazed at her. She knew what he was capable of and here she was, barely breaking a sweat. The words came out of his mouth before he could put filter on them. Not because he didn't mean them, but because maybe this wasn't the best time. But out came the words, anyway.

"I think I love you, Rae."

She looked at him, her purple eyes wide. And then, slowly, impossibly, she smiled. Reaching the few inches over, she took his hand in hers and squeezed it gently. She didn't say anything, but he could feel it. In her look, in her smile, in her touch.

The door to the roof opened and out exploded a swarm of monsters. He knew better than to fall for Phobia's obvious ruse. Beast Boy looked through the creatures and at the man striding towards the girl he loved.

Not happening.

A bear charged towards Light, knocking the man to the ground. He shot blasters at Beast Boy, but a dark shield forced them off target. Light managed to squirm away from him, so Beast Boy shifted again, catching his leg in the grip of an alligator's jaws. Light screamed and Beast Boy smirked inwardly. Holding this guy off until Cyborg got back? Easy.

Light put both of his wrist blasters next to Beast Boy's eyes and he was forced to morph into a bird and get back. The blast sent him back a few more feet and hit his head, dazing him.

He heard a scuffle; apparently Raven was in on it now. A gasp and then, "No!" Beast Boy stood on his two human feet and looked towards them just in time to hear, "Don't look!"

A white light spread across the roof. Beast Boy flinched, throwing his arm over his face. It was too late, though. All he could see were spots.

"Raven?" he called out, blinking rapidly and trying to clear his vision.

He heard a cry and started moving towards it. Spots still covered his eyes, but he was starting to see shapes.

"No!" Raven yelled. He could hear the sounds of a struggle, "No! Beast Boy!"

"Raven!" His heart pounded as he strained to see anything definitive. It wasn't what he thought, it wasn't what he thought.

He could see a vague shape a few meters in front of him, he nearly laughed in relief when he saw the familiar purple and black. "Rae, geez, I thought you were-"

Beast Boy blinked and his vision cleared up. He was right in seeing Raven, but what he hadn't been able to see was the dark shape on top of her.

Light was covering her mouth, keeping her from calling out or reciting her mantra. Anytime her eyes began to glow or her tell-tale shadow started to form, Light hit her, breaking her concentration. In between the hits, Light's hands were grabbing everything he could reach, fumbling at her waist.

Beast Boy heard something rip and he lost it. With a yell, he leapt at Light, catching the villain's arm in his claws as he passed. He leapt back up to his feet, only to find that the man moved impossibly fast, dragging Raven with him. He hauled her to her feet, one hand still covering her mouth. Beast Boy stared at Light's arm, knowing that he saw his claws pass through his skin. Why wasn't he bleeding?

"What's the matter, changling? Jealous?" Light laughed breathlessly. His free hand held Raven around her stomach, keeping her pressed against him. Her eyes were wide as she stared at Beast Boy.

"Let her go and I promise I'll only send you to jail," Beast Boy said, his fists clenched.

"But I was just getting to know her." Light grinned, moving his hand beneath Raven's sweatshirt. "And she seems real friendly. Don't you think?" He stood calmly, as if Beast Boy hadn't just savaged his leg.

A snarl ripped from Beast Boy's mouth and he stepped closer. Light dragged Raven backwards, "Uh, uh. I wouldn't do that if I were you. One more step and I kill her. One quick wrench of the neck. Do you think demons die as easily as humans?" he asked, looking at Raven. "Never been with a demon before. No surprises I should know about, is there?"

"If you touch her again, I swear to god I'll kill you," Beast Boy said.

"Maybe, but not before I kill her." He kissed Raven's cheek, "Do you really want that on your conscience. Isn't it better that she lives, spoiled as she may be, than if you kill her by making a stupid move?"

Beast Boy clenched his fists so hard that he felt blood began to dribble through his fingers. "Let her go and you can kill me. I won't even put up a fight."

"Where's the fun in that?" Light asked, pouting. "I much prefer them like this," he smiled at Raven, "fighting, pleading. Crying. Makes it all the sweeter."

"Please, Light. Stop," Beast Boy wasn't even looking at the villain. He just kept his eyes locked with Raven's terrified ones. "Don't do this."

"But I want to." Light bent his head, biting Raven's neck so hard he left marks. Even from his distance, Beast Boy could hear the tiny whimper that escaped Raven. Tears welled up in her eyes as she stared at him, pleading silently that he do something. But what could he do? If he made a move, Light would kill her. If he didn't make a move, Light would…

He flinched as Light ripped something else, making Raven jump. He couldn't watch this. But he couldn't just turn away and leave her. Dammit, he'd never felt so helpless!

Light pushed Raven to the ground, tugging at her jeans. Beast Boy took another step and Light shook his head, grabbing Raven's throat, "No changling. Sit. Stay."

She tried to push him off of her, but only got another blow to the jaw. She was crying now, sobs muffled by Light's hand.

_Beast Boy._

He jumped, the voice in his head the one of the girl in front of him. "Raven?" he whispered. "God, I'm so sorry, I'm trying to think of something but-"

_That's not me_, Raven's voice told him. _Phobia is here, making you see whatever you're seeing. I'm okay, but I need you to come here. I can't take Phobia and Light by myself._

All Beast Boy could think is that Light was right in front of him.

_He's not there. I saw them both run off the roof right after he tried blinding us. I'm inside, but they're on the bottom floor and I don't want to go in without you. Please, you have to come here._

_But what about…?_ He stared at the Raven in front of him. So exact a replica that he wasn't one hundred percent sure.

_Beast Boy, I swear that's not me. It's Phobia, messing with you mind. Please, I need you._

He was torn, twisting his head away from the scene playing out in front of him. He couldn't drown out the sounds of her sobs though, or Light's grunts as he did unspeakable things to her.

He turned away, jogging towards the door on the roof. He had to trust her; that she was okay and needed his help. But that didn't stop him from stumbling, his heart stopping, when he heard Raven scream from behind him.

"Beast Boy, don't leave me!"

Light was laughing and then Beast Boy realized where Phobia had gone wrong. He turned, glaring at the scene she had almost convinced him was real. "That's not Raven. Because she wouldn't yell to me for help when she could do it herself."

He panicked for about half a second, where he thought maybe, just maybe he was wrong. But then both Raven and Light gave him such a look of pure hatred that he knew he had been right. The images wavered and disappeared, leaving Beast Boy alone on the roof.

He sagged in relief, nearly falling as he finished running to the stairwell, taking the steps four at a time as he tried to find her.

_Take your next left. I'm right there_, Raven told him.

He did as she said, taking the turn at a full run. Raven, the real Raven, was standing there. She smiled as he appeared and opened her mouth to say something.

Beast Boy didn't stop, though. He ran right up to her, catching her in a hug and kissing her soundly.

She was shocked for a moment, but recovered well, wrapping her arms around him and kissing him back, their mouths moving together. When Beast Boy finally broke away, breathing hard, Raven stared at him and touched his face.

"You're crying," she noted, looking sympathetic.

He shuddered, burying his face on her shoulder, breathing in the scent he was starting to dream about. "Dammit, Rae. I thought…I saw…"

She didn't ask what he saw. She might have known, but she didn't make him say it and he was forever grateful to her. She just hugged him closely and ran her fingers through his hair. "Whatever it was, it wasn't real. I promise. I'm fine, everything is fine."

"No, everything is not fine," he said, raising his head. He held her hand tightly as they continued to walk through the building. "Light and Phobia are still out there and now I can't decide who I want to hurt more."

"That bad, huh?" Raven said.

He just nodded once, gripping her hand tighter.

"Now that Phobia knows you're onto her, she's going try to shock you with images. Hold onto me until we find her, so you know whatever it is, it isn't real," she told him.

"What'd she show you?" he asked quietly.

"Destroying the world. Killing all of you. I expect my fears will be different now, though."

"Why?"

She just squeezed his hand and didn't say anything else.

For a few minutes, their walk was uneventful. Nothing jumped out at them, nothing attacked them. Beast Boy found that instead of being a relief, it only made him more tense. He knew Raven felt the same, the way her hand kept tightened on his. When she gasped, he couldn't deny that he was a little relieved that at least something was happening.

Raven stared at something that only she could see, her mouth tight. Beast Boy squeezed her hand, "I'm right here, Rae. There's nothing there."

She nodded, tearing her eyes away and staring straight in front of her. She twitched, as if someone had called out to her, but she didn't look back.

So concerned about her, Beast Boy wasn't watching their path. He jumped back when he finally looked up, seeing a couple in front of him.

They mirrored his and Raven's position, the blonde man holding tightly to the hand of the woman next to him. She had brown hair and soft eyes. The man looked strong, laugh lines obvious around his mouth, even though he wasn't smiling now. Both of them were drenched in water, their clothes dripping onto the floor. When he looked closer, he saw that their skin was discolored in a way that only meant one thing.

"Beast Boy?" Raven asked, "What is it?"

He stared at his parents, frozen.

"Garfield," his mother said, water spilling from her mouth.

He couldn't help his response, "Mom?"

Raven was trying to pull on his arm, but he couldn't move. His parents, standing right in front of him. He knew it wasn't real, but she sounded just like his mom. His memories became flooded with the sound of her laughter, her scolding him, the lullabies she used to sing.

"You let us down, son." His dad's voice was flat, unemotional. So unlike the way his father used to sound – exuberant, excited about everything.

Beast Boy shook his head, trying to look away. Raven was next to him, saying something, but he couldn't focus enough to figure out what it was.

"It's your fault we died," Marie said, leaning into her husband. "If you had been stronger. Smarter. We would have lived."

"But you couldn't. You're weak. Immature. I'm ashamed to call you my-"

"Beast Boy!"

He flinched, Raven in between him and the vision of his parents. She tugged his face down, forcing him to look at her and not beyond. "Look at me. Your parents are not here. It isn't real."

He closed his eyes, "It's my faul-"

"No," Raven told him. She pulled him forward and he kept his eyes closed. "You told me what happened. Remember? We stayed up all night, talking about our parents. You told me about the accident. How you were just a child. You didn't have control over your shape-shifting. Even if you had, you couldn't have carried both of them, remember? It took you years to learn how to shift into something bigger than you. You could barely save yourself. It was all an accident. You told me how your mother nearly pushed you out of the boat, ordering you to change and get somewhere safe. They loved you so much."

He opened his eyes, seeing only Raven in front of him and nothing else. She smiled at him, stepping back to his side. He felt ashamed for having been caught so easily by Phobia, even after knowing her methods, "I'm sorr-"

"Stop," she said, "Don't apologize. Her gift is bringing up the most horrible things you fear. If you could walk through all of them just fine, you wouldn't be the Beast Boy I know."

A few more minutes passed. They had gone down two more flights of stairs without either one of them seeing anything. Beast Boy had just begun to hope that Phobia had given up when Raven stumbled and went pale. He did the first thing that came to his mind and covered her eyes completely with his free hand, guiding her forward. She didn't fight him, though she was shaking.

He could hear her mumbling under her breath, "It isn't real, it isn't real, it isn't real…"

She held onto his shirt as they walked, her knuckles white in fear. Phobia was really starting to piss him off.

Raven pulled his hand away from her eyes. "I hate this."

"You're telling me. Let's just find this bitch and finish this."

She nodded and took his hand again, walking straight forward.

He clenched his jaw and walked past the bodies of Starfire and Cyborg. Ignored the sight of Slade strangling Robin. His stomach still dropped as the scene on the roof began to play again in front of him, but he simply walked through it, reminding himself that Raven was at his side.

The images became more frequent. Beast Boy hardened his heart against them and they developed a new system.

Raven looked at something to her left. _Real or fake?_

"Fake, Rae," he said.

Terra grabbed his ankle, her stone fingers crumbling as he pulled away from her.

_Fake,_ Raven told him as she noticed his distraction.

He nodded and clenched his jaw. "Do you know where they are?"

"Straight ahead," she said quietly. "In the gym."

Beast Boy eyed the two double doors. Probably not that many places to hide in a gym, though there might be other exits. There was no choice but to go in and confront them. "Strategy?"

Raven shrugged, "I'd say an obvious frontal assault. Light's already thrown off by you. Phobia's lost most of the element of surprise. Let's just go for it."

Beast Boy grinned. "I like that plan."

Raven gestured for him to go behind her. She slammed open both doors with a wave of power, dispelling the burst of beams that Light had been saving for their entrance. Before he could charge up again, she ducked and Beast Boy went over her head, a tiger that went straight for Light. The two grappled, a radiant blow grazing Beast Boy's side before he twisted away. Beast Boy heard an unfamiliar woman scream and knew that Raven was doing her best to keep Phobia occupied.

Despite her efforts, Beast Boy found himself faced with seven Doctor Lights. He immediately let his eyes drift closed, relying on scent to pick out the right one. Hearing the sound of a tiny metal thing hitting the ground and begin beeping, Beast Boy jumped after Light's smell.

The bomb of light exploded behind him, sending him up and over his quarry. He shifted into a bird, but there was too much momentum behind him to keep from hitting the wall. Beast Boy heard a thick thud as he reverted back into his human shape and fell towards the ground.

A black tendril wrapped around his waist and lowered him partway. Four feet above the ground it vanished and he landed on the wood floor, winded. Blinking the spots out of his eyes, he looked up and tried to make sense of the scene in front of him.

There were two Ravens. One was fighting Phobia and clearly getting the upper hand. The other wasn't doing so well as she turned towards Beast Boy.

Light grabbed that Raven by her hair, making her yell out in pain. She threw her elbow back, catching him in the chest. Winded, Light backhanded her and she fell to the ground. He stood over her, covering her mouth and tugging at her sweatshirt.

_Real or fake?_ he thought to her, shoving images of the Raven that was fighting Light at her. He touched his head, still dazed.

_R-real._

Beast Boy felt his chest get cold as he struggled to his feet. This wasn't a vision. This wasn't Phobia messing with his mind. This was really happening.

Which meant Light could bleed this time.

Beast Boy snarled and stomped over to Light. The man glanced up when Beast Boy was only feet from him. He put his hand around Raven's throat and grinned, "Uh, uh. I wouldn't do that if I were you. One more step and I-"

Beast Boy slammed his claws into Light's chest, throwing the man up in the air painfully. Light screamed and landed on the floor a few meters away. Beast Boy had heard that threat before on the roof.

Not this time.

Raven got to her feet behind him, Beast Boy glanced at her, knowing that his eyes were dilated. She didn't back away as he shifted into a hyena. Speed. Jaw strength. Merciless. She touched his shoulder and gave him a cold smile.

"Make him hurt."

Beast Boy bared his teeth in response and looked at Light, who was still trying to get to his feet.

Yeah, he could do that.


	19. Psychophobia

So…I have no excuse for the break between chapters. Don't hate me. :(

I've had this one ready for a while, but you all would form an angry mob if I had posted this by itself. So you get two chapters today.

I don't own Teen Titans. If I did, I could pay for all the water damage that happened to my room while I was away. But, alas…I don't.

Psychophobia. Fear of one's mind.

* * *

><p>Raven turned away from Beast Boy's fight with Light, shaking off the memory of Light's touch. Her stomach was still reeling, her face tingling from where he had hit her, Raven did her best to push it aside. There were more important things to be worried about right now. She let her eyes drift to only half open, waiting and listening. Phobia's mind was around her, but she couldn't pinpoint exactly where.<p>

The sound of air shifting was the only warning she had to dive to the side. Whatever weapon Phobia had missed her by inches and Raven kicked out her legs, feeling one of them hit something solid.

Phobia grunted and popped back into Raven's vision as the pain let her façade drop.

Raven thrust her hand towards the telepath, but Phobia dodged the black vines and vanished once more. Raven wove them into a circle around her and they swayed back and forth, searching for her enemy.

She couldn't help but glance over at Light and Beast Boy's battle, seeing that the hyena still held the advantage. She smirked, sending her pit out a little further.

"Raven!" Cyborg yelled.

She glanced up, relieved as the metal man approached her. "You got them out okay?"

"Of course," he assured her. "Now what do we have?"

"Beast Boy is going after Light. Phobia is somewhere around here." She swung her head around, leaving a small path for Cyborg between her magic.

She heard him coming to join her at her side, his cannon appearing and charging up. Raven paused.

Was is just her, or did that cannon sound…flat?

"Dammit!" she yelled, swinging her hand up and blocking Cyborg's downward swing. She couldn't believe she had been so stupid! So trusting! The sound of a hyena's yelp made her flinch, but she couldn't turn to see if he was okay.

He – Phobia – grabbed her arm and wrenched her to the side. Raven stumbled but didn't fall, sweeping her feet at his ankles and sending him to the ground. Her shoulder screamed as she pulled out of his grip, but she ignored it and clenched her fist, trying to catch Phobia before –

Cyborg vanished as her magic closed around him. Raven swore again and raised her eyes to the empty air around her. And then suddenly it wasn't that empty.

Raven glared as Robin and Cyborg advanced on her, fists upraised. Her shoulder burned, but she ignored it.

"Monsters like you have to be put down," Robin said calmly. His eyes gave her no trace of compassion.

Cyborg raised his cannon and aimed it at her chest. Raven heard the charge and saw the light brighten. The weapon discharged and Raven didn't move as the light raced towards her –

- only to pass through her.

"Nice try," Raven told her empty surroundings. She knew Phobia was there, like a shadow on her mind, a breath against her skin. She turned slowly, looking for anything out of place. "Come out and fight me, coward."

Starfire swooped down at her, firing starbolts. Raven kept turning as false explosions lit up the ground around her. Nothing touched her. Nothing was real.

_Rae?_

Despite the battle, she couldn't help that her heart lightened just a little. _Yeah?_

_ Light's unfortunately doing well right now._

She glanced over and saw that although Light was limping and bleeding, Beast Boy was moving slower than before. The green hyena was favoring his back left paw and his breathing was labored. She took a step towards him.

_Beast Boy…_

_ I'm okay. But I was thinking, he's afraid of the dark, right?_

_ Right._

_ How about a blackout over here? Can you do that?_

She sent a wave of her power like a blanket, covering that entire side of the gym. Beast Boy and Light were encased in darkness and only one of them could counteract it.

Beast Boy's silent chuckle danced in her mind._ Beautiful. Absolutely perfect._

_ Don't let him hurt you again._

_ Yes, ma'am._

She heard a scream that was definitely human and not animal. Beast Boy would be fine now.

Something hit her back and she stumbled forward and fell with a tiny cry. Dammit, she let her attention wander too long. She rolled onto her back and saw a flicker of Phobia's face before the woman vanished again.

"You pretend to be so very brave," Phobia's voice whispered around her, coming from everywhere all at once. Her voice wasn't what Raven had been expecting. It was low. Melodious, almost. Not what it should be. "When you're the most terrified person I've ever met. Afraid of yourself. Afraid of your father. Afraid of and for your friends. Afraid of the future and the past. Afraid of the changling."

"I'm not afraid of Beast Boy," Raven said, her head swinging from one side to the other, waiting for her.

"You are. Afraid of what he could do to you now that you've let him in. Afraid of what _you'll_ do now."

Raven chose a direction to glare at, "I am _not_ afraid-"

"Look, Rae," Beast Boy interrupted her. He was grinning like he'd been caught doing something bad. Usually that grin just made her want to smile and roll her eyes, but the words coming out of his mouth just made her feel sick.

"It's been fun, don't get me wrong. But it's just…I feel like it's all played out now, you know? You're great, don't get me wrong," he assured her, rubbing the back of his neck. "But I'm…I'm kind of ready to move onto something better. But we're still friends and everything. We'll just go back to the way things were. It'll be easy, you'll see."

She stared at him, her chest constricting even as she bit her cheek so he wouldn't see her breaking down. Blinking away the moisture in her eyes, she saw Beast Boy's image falter. Damn Phobia. Raven glared past Beast Boy's image until he faded away completely.

"That doesn't scare me," Raven said, as calmly as she could manage.

"Why? Because it's inevitable?" Phobia was near, but the room was fading around Raven. Another trick of Phobia's, though she couldn't do much to stop it.

"No. It isn't. He-" Raven cut herself off, unwilling to give Phobia more to work off of.

"He what? _Loves_ you?" Phobia whispered. "That isn't any better."

Raven saw the beginnings of a scene start to appear in the haziness around her. She turned away, trying not to let Phobia get the best of her again.

"He'll leave you eventually. Just maybe not in the way you're expecting. You two have very dangerous jobs. What if the unthinkable were to happen? Where would you be then? Alone, with your strongest tie to your human side gone. You wouldn't know how to handle that much pain. You may try to endure, but you'll give in. To make it easier. To make it bearable."

A flash at the side of her eye made her flinch and look over reflexively. Her demon self was rampaging over Jump City like a monster. Killing, destroying. But she wasn't laughing. She wasn't enjoying it. She just wanted people to understand how she felt. How empty and alone she felt now that he was gone. How was she supposed to go on fighting herself without him? Would there be anything worthwhile?

"And when you've ruined everything you've ever worked for, when you've killed everyone who ever tried to give a damn about you, you'll just end it all." Phobia's voice was like a poison in her ear, but she couldn't get away from it. Her voice was all around her. Raven couldn't tell which ones were her own thoughts and which were Phobia's. "Because why go on without him? Why should anything go one without him?"

Raven saw her demon self close her eyes and a white light started in her chest. Raven watched until her eyes began to burn before she looked away. When she finally looked up an eternity later, her world was dark again. The whispers surrounding her seemed to come from everywhere and everyone and she had nowhere to escape to. She had nowhere to run.

"You should be afraid of loving him. Because you'll lose yourself when you lose him. And you _will_ lose him. One way or another."

"Stop it," Raven whispered.

"He'll leave you."

He'll die.

"Stop it."

He won't stay.

"He could never love you."

He doesn't love you.

"Stop it," Raven said louder. The hand on her good arm was clenched into a fist.

"You won't be able to stop yourself from ruining everything when he leaves."

He'll break you if he leaves.

"Are you even capable of loving him?"

He shouldn't love her.

_Rae?_

Shouldn't. But he does anyway.

"Enough!" Raven screamed, her power rolling out of her like an oncoming storm. Rage froze her heart and she barely blinked when someone yelled and the darkness vanished. Raven shot out her powers in the direction of the yell and heard Phobia scream again. She reappeared as she hit the ground.

Raven got to her feet, her hands glowing darkly, "Why are you helping him? Don't you know what he's done to women?"

"Not to me," Phobia said quietly.

"No, he'll just toss you to the side when he's gotten what he needs from you," Raven told her. "Or maybe he'll use you like he did that girl you brought him. Did you know she was only seventeen? Did you care?"

"She was a means to an end." Phobia disappeared, but Raven could follow the slight breath of her mind.

A means to an end? That was all Martha was to her? Raven felt her rage boiling beneath her skin. Distantly she could hear the sounds of Beast Boy and Light's battle, but it sounded muffled. "That girl was not a means to an end," Raven hissed.

"She meant nothing," Phobia whispered from the shadows.

"Nothing, huh?" Raven asked. "Nothing. What she went through was nothing?"

Raven sent her powers out like questing hands. She couldn't see Phobia, but she was still there. She felt it when one of the tendrils brushed against her. Immediately, she snagged up the woman and dragged her across the floor. Phobia reappeared when it was clear she wasn't going to escape. A baseball bat, probably lifted from the supply closet, was clutched in her frozen hand. Images of her dead and bloodied friends assaulted her mind, but Raven pushed them all aside.

Raven clenched one fist, tightening the bonds around Phobia and binding her mouth. She lifted the other hand and allowed a faint pink aura to fill her palm. She knelt down next to Phobia and made sure she could hear what she had to say.

"You make people see their nightmares. Most of those things aren't real. But _you_ made Martha live out a real nightmare. And now you're going to share it," Raven whispered.

Phobia's eyes widened as Raven lowering the hand that was glowing pink and pressed it against Phobia's temple. The woman gave a muffled cry and Raven stepped away.

She stared down at the woman who was crying and struggling to get free from the black bands that wound around her. Maybe Raven should have felt some remorse for making Phobia live through Martha's nightmare. It was a horrific experience and she knew that. Should be considered torture of some kind. After all, how was she that different from Phobia at this moment? Raven considered all of those thoughts.

And then she turned away.

The shadow in the corner was filled with the sounds of Light's bursts of power and his cries of frustration. Every few moments, there would be a scream of pain from him.

_Beast Boy?_

_ Hmm?_ He sounded pleased.

_Having fun?_

_ He's getting tired. Shouldn't be much longer. Phobia?_

_ Taken care of._

_ That's my girl._

She smirked, pacing along the outside of the blackness. Despite her affinity with shadows, she still couldn't see in the dark like Beast Boy could. Taking away the black would only allow Light an equal footing with Beast Boy. As much as she didn't like it, her only option right now was to wait outside.

Raven heard cries from behind her, but they were muffled and faint. She drowned them out and listened with her mind into the cloud of darkness.

She had only brushed Light when his intentions became obvious. Her eyes snapped open, "Beast Boy!" she yelled, completely forgetting about their mind link. She took three steps into the black, her hands reaching out, searching for him blindly.

_What's wrong? _She could feel him turning away from Light to try and find her.

_ Light's got some kind of bomb, get out of there! He's going-_

The light burst through even her magically induced darkness. She had only a moment to get a tiny shield up between her and the force of the explosion. It didn't do much.

The explosion sent her flying backwards, burning her skin even through her shield. Pain laced through her face and hands and she could smell the acrid burning of her hair. She hit the floor and her head connected with the ground hard enough to make her see spots. When she finally blinked them away, she saw Phobia getting to her feet and glaring at her, and Light heading towards an unmoving Beast Boy. His green skin was mottled with pink and red burns and it looked like his leg was broken.

Oh no. Ohnonono. The blow had rattled her hard enough to make her powers fail for a moment. Light was going after Beast Boy and Phobia was coming after her. The woman vanished, but not before Raven saw her pick up the discarded crowbar from their fight earlier. Light or Phobia. Light or Phobia.

Easy question, really.

Raven focused her gaze, ignoring how much she shook and took aim at Light. She closed her eyes with a sigh and sent her soul self out into the fight, leaving her physical body on the ground. She grazed Beast Boy as she passed him, hoping he would wake up. She couldn't linger though, as she had her eye on a bigger target. Raven's soul pierced Light's chest, stopping the man in his tracks.

She didn't know what it looked like to an observer, but she knew that it was a battle within. Whether or not Light figured out what was going on, he fought back against her instinctually. His soul, black and coagulated, struggled to consume her, stop her from moving through. It tugged at her like a tar pit, dragging her further and further down into the depths of his depravity. Raven's demon side wasn't making any effort to fight Light's influence and she found herself being hauled into the center of Light's being, a pit of anger, lust, and cruelty. If she couldn't break free, if she couldn't escape the trap she had thrown herself into, Light could destroy her soul as her shell of a body wasted away, without her ever regaining consciousness.

Faintly, she felt something land over her real shoulders. Phobia had taken advantage of her prone state to attack when she couldn't possibly fight back. Raven gritted incorporeal teeth and kept struggling against Light's pull. This was the fight that mattered at the moment. He couldn't be allowed to walk out of here as a free man.

The physical blows didn't do as much to her soul self as they did to her actual body, but they still slowed her down. She felt the shadows of her actual pain on her soul- tingling, niggling little reminders that she couldn't just let those blows rain down on her forever.

Light's soul numbed her, drowning out the pain even further. At first it was a relief, letting her concentrate and fight harder. She had nearly broken through, only a few of his noxious tendrils sticking to her. But then the cold began to make her sluggish, chilled to her center.

Raven began to fall back, deeper into Light's clutches. She still pulled, but she was tired and weak. Her whole body seemed to be tingling with the reminders of whatever Phobia was doing. Even if she made it out, what would she be going back to?

Her power over Light faded with every second, to the point where he was beginning to be able to move once more. Raven caught glimpses of what was going on in the gym, the visions getting longer each time they happened. The longer Light's freedom got, the weaker she became. She caught sight of Phobia bringing the bat down on her arm and there was an answering twinge in her soul self. It actually hurt enough to make Raven flinch – it was probably broken.

The vision disappeared and the battle within resumed, Raven found that she was inextricably being drawn deeper, no matter how hard she fought, she was only buying herself more time. It seemed inevitable. Despite that, she couldn't just let herself fall. She couldn't just give in.

The next time Light regained control of his vision, Raven saw Beast Boy.

_Beast Boy._

The changling was not only up and moving, but heading directly towards Phobia, heedless of his pronounced limp. He snarled, shifting into a wolf, leaping towards her before she was able to turn. Even caught in Light's twisted soul, she could feel Beast Boy's concern and love for her, his anger at Phobia and Light.

Her heart lifted, knowing that Beast Boy was okay. Suddenly, the fight against Light didn't seem that difficult. She pulled away, farther than she had been since she began. Vaguely, she heard Light swear and turn his attention outward. She followed his gaze and saw him lifting his wrist towards Beast Boy, who had ripped the reddened bat out of Phobia's hands and proceeded to corner her. Light's wrist blaster charged up and Beast Boy still hadn't turned –

_No!_

Raven pulled, not away from Light, but instead grabbed _his_ soul and twisted it to the side. Light yelled and fell to his knees, his hands scrabbling at his chest. Instead of Raven trying to pull herself out of Light's soul, she wrapped around it and started pulling his soul out.

She heard him mumbling, both in his head and out loud.

"Get out, damn you!"

_-bend her, break her, get her out-_

Raven pulled further, feeling the very edge of her soul self break free.

"Stop it! Get out, you evil, twisted little-" He broke off with a scream.

_-damn her! get free and make her pay, make her cry, make her-_

She could see that Phobia was down, she didn't know if the woman was dead or unconscious. Beast Boy hadn't shifted and the wolf was running as quickly as his bad leg would let him towards Light.

With a wrench and a silent yell, Raven broke free of Light, taking his soul with her. As soon as the last tendril left his body, he crumpled, not moving or even breathing. Her physical body was still breathing because she had left the tiniest bit of her soul back there, allowing it to keep her heart pumping and her breathing normal. She ripped every last bit of Light's soul out. She had essentially killed a man. Beast Boy paused, his hackles up and growls resonating from his chest as he stared at Light.

Despite the victory over Light's soul, Raven knew she didn't have a ton of time left in her soul self. She quickly bound up the man's core, slipping it back into his chest. Immediately, he began to breathe, but he wouldn't wake up until Raven lifted her incorporeal shackles. He wouldn't escape.

Raven drifted in the air, feeling weakness pull her down. She had to get back to her body, but first things first…

Once Beast Boy realized that Light was no longer a threat, he had returned to Raven's body. He shifted into his human form, crawling the last couple of inches to her side. His hands hovered over her, clearly unsure what to do. "Rae?" he said softly. Looking over her, he kept talking, "Raven, come on. Open your eyes, okay? You just gotta- oh, man." His voice cracked and made her move all the faster. He fumbled for his communicator with one hand, calling anyone who was near. "Rob, Cy, somebody, get an ambulance over to the school!"

"I'm on my way, B," Cyborg answered. Beast Boy didn't even look like he'd heard him. He put the communicator off to the side, letting his now free hand join the other that was pressed just below her ribs. His hands were suddenly red.

She stopped just outside her own body and touched Beast Boy's leg, putting what little spark of healing energy she had left into him. It wasn't enough to heal the broken leg entirely, but it was only slightly fractured now.

He jerked as his leg healed up, looking around. _Raven?_ He stared down at her body. _Are you in there?_

_'M here_, she whispered, brushing his shoulder with a spark.

"What'd you do that for? What about," he glanced down to where his hands still pushed, "what about you?"

She followed his gaze. It was going to hurt like hell when she returned, but she'd probably survive it. _Wasn't enough to heal it all._

"But you'll be okay, right?"

_Of course_, she told him. Maybe.

"Light?" he asked, not even turning to check on him.

_He won't be moving for a while. Not_ _'til I release him. Nothing to worry about. Phobia? Is she…?_

"No," he said. "She's still alive. Wasn't my decision, though. Robin decided that a long time ago. Her and Light have to stay alive."

_They do. We have to stay better than them_. She felt lightheaded, even in her soul self. Probably not a good sign.

"Are you gonna be okay when you get back in?" He sounded very concerned. Raven eyed the crimson on his hands and wondered just how much blood she had already lost.

_It might be a little rough. _Raven edged closer, feeling the lure of her body. She wasn't looking forward to this.

"I'll be here," he promised. "Won't leave your side."

She hesitated for a minute, then took the plunge and slipped back into her body. As soon as she was settled, there was no room in her mind for anything coherent. There was just the fire. Every inch of her burned, nothing appeared to have escaped Phobia's rage. Then again, after forcing Phobia to relive some of Martha's memories, maybe she should have expected it.

Her eyes snapped open and her body went rigid. She tried not to move, but it was impossible. Parts of her hurt more than others, but the brand on her side was the worst. Shit, she had underestimated it. It was worse than she thought.

She squeezed her eyes shut, feeling tears leaking out the corners. Her jaw hurt, not only from Phobia, but because of how tightly she was keeping it clenched.

"Raven. Hey, look at me."

Listening to him, Raven forced her eyes open and locked them on the man above her. He smiled tightly, his hands pressing against her side. "You're going to be fine. Cy's on his way here, we've got an ambulance coming."

The fire was starting to lessen. She had to tell him. Raven breathed out through her clenched teeth, "I…I m-might have lied."

He frowned at her, "You might have lied? About what? No," he shook his head, "it doesn't matter. You can apologize later, okay? I'll hold you to it."

"Lied 'bout be-being okay."

She closed her eyes for just a moment; she just needed to gather her self-control again. She took one deep breath and then another. Feeling a little calmer, she started to pay attention again. It was weird, Beast Boy was talking as if he had been for a while, but she hadn't heard anything.

"…swear to-to Azar that if you don't cut this out, I'm gonna sic Starfire on you! She'll go nuts! Open your damn eyes!" Beast Boy yelled.

With a threat like that, she had to. She breathed a little easier, the fire nearly gone. She even managed a tiny smile when he paused in his rant to stare at her. "S'okay. Doesn't hurt so much now."

Why did he freeze like that? "Rae…just keep your eyes open, okay?" He sounded so scared.

When the burn in her side went from just warm to cold, she realized what was happening. Keeping her eyes open was suddenly a struggle, she just felt like she was tired and wanted to go to sleep.

"Stay awake, Raven," Beast Boy ordered. He was leaning over her, still keeping pressure on the wound in her side. How had Phobia managed that one, anyway? "Don't close your eyes, do you hear me?"

She nodded slowly, trying not to worry him anymore. She became aware of noises outside the gym as Beast Boy glanced towards the door. Lots of people. Sirens? Cars? She wasn't certain.

"The ambulance is here. Just keep your eyes open." Beast Boy repeated those words like she did her mantra. She really did want to listen to him. But the cold just kept getting colder and her eyes just kept getting heavier. What if she…

"Beast Boy?" she asked, knowing that even if she whispered, he would hear her.

He bent down, not even acknowledging the shouts from behind him. "Yeah?"

She did her best to smile, "I lo-"

"Step aside!" Men dressed up in uniforms pushed Beast Boy away and she was surrounded by unfamiliar faces. One of them covered up the wound Beast Boy had been holding closed, the other one was taking a pair of scissors to her sweatshirt. She tried to sit up, but they held her down.

"We need you to stay down, ma'am," one of them said, pushing her shoulders down. "We've got to get this bleeding stopped. Call ahead, tell them we've just multiple incisions, broken bones, fractured-"

The ceiling was spinning above her as she was moved, making her head churn. She tried to turn her head to the side, only to find that she'd been strapped into a head brace. Fighting the nausea, she closed her eyes.

_Raven, I'm right with you. Everything is gonna be fine. Just don't close-_

"Ma'am, can you open your eyes? Can anyone get a response?" The voices got louder and then they dimmed, as if the volume had been turned almost all the way down.

The words faded away into a quiet mumble, Raven strained for any sound of Beast Boy's voice, but it was lost in the tumult. And then everything was silent.

* * *

><p>Don't hate me! The next one is up! Just keep reading!<p> 


	20. Hypnophobia

_Still don't own Teen Titans. But I wish I did. It would make my year._

Hypnophobia. Fear of sleep.

* * *

><p>"<em>Weren't you afraid of…?" Beast Boy asked. The stone floor beneath him wasn't the most comfortable, but at least it kept out the wind. He shifted slightly, resting his head back.<em>

_ Raven smiled at him, "Dying? Of course I was."_

_ "How did you go through with it?" That was one thing he never understood about Trigon's ascension. Why did Raven just give in and let herself be, in every sense of the word, killed?_

_ "I had to." She paused, the communicator shifting views as she passed it from one hand to the other._

_ "No, you didn't," he told her. "We would have fought him."_

_ "Fought and died. Just like me. If we had stood together as regular Titans, we would have died." She stated it like a fact. Maybe she was right._

_ "So why go through with it then?"_

_ "If I had stood and fought with you against my father's armies, he would have killed all of you before forcing me to become the portal," Raven said quietly. "By walking into it, I was able to plan it out. To give each of you a fighting chance at saving the world."_

_ "You still…died." You'd think he'd be more accustomed to the word and concept of death, but honestly, when it was one of his friends, it truly terrified him._

_ She shrugged, "When given the choice, I'd choose dying for you over going on without you every time."_

_ He hesitated, and then smirked, lightening the mood, "For me?"_

_ Raven flushed. "For Star, Robin, Cyborg. And yes, for you."_

_ Honestly surprised to hear her admit it, Beast Boy's grin tempered itself, becoming genuine. "You're a good friend, Rae. And you know I'd do the same for you. In a heartbeat." He watched the surprise flit across her face and added, "Though your life would become so much more boring without me."_

_ "How could I go on?" She deadpanned._

_ He twisted his mouth to the side, "Well, I guess you're just gonna have to force yourself to get over me and try to live a half-life on your own."_

_ "Good thing neither one of us will be making that choice again anytime soon," Raven said, a faint smile on her face._

_ He smiled back, "Good thing."_

Beast Boy stared at Raven with heavy eyes, replaying those words over and over in his head – "_I'd choose dying for you over going on without you every time,"_ -and wishing she'd chosen differently, just this once. He couldn't help but feel he had been given the short end of that stick. It would have been easy to fall asleep. Much more difficult to keep on going alone.

She was hooked up to a whole slew of monitors and machines. He didn't know what half of them did and never bothered to ask. The nurses who came in tried to chat with him the first couple times, but after a day of his silence, they just came in, did their work, and left. An uneaten meal sat by the door. Raven certainly wasn't up to eating it.

She hadn't woken up nor even moved since she was brought out of the ICU. They had stitched up the gash in her side, splinted her broken bones, set the fractures to healing, and given her a transfusion. He really didn't care for that last one. It made her smell wrong. Robin and Cyborg had been excited after the first day, when it was clear that her injuries were healing up a lot faster than any normal person's. They thought it meant she'd be waking up soon. But that had been five days ago.

With her bones nearly healed and little left to speak of their fight other than slightly red scars, there shouldn't be any reason for her to still be asleep. And yet…

"Beast Boy?"

He didn't turn, recognizing Starfire's voice anywhere. She had been technically released from the hospital, although none of the Titans strayed far from it. Despite the fact that she'd made no move to talk about her experiences with Phobia, she had tried to apologize to each of the boys. All of them had brushed it away and they hadn't said any more about it.

The alien girl sat across from him, brushing Raven's hand with hers. "Hello, Raven."

Even though there was no response, it didn't deter Starfire from speaking. Beast Boy dully wondered if Starfire's daily visits and chats were for Raven's benefit or for his.

"Ms. Hawkins was taken into custody today. There were some concerns about transporting her, but it looks like the Justice League was made aware. Martian Manhunter arrived this morning to escort her to prison and set up some safeguards for the wardens," Starfire said quietly, her eyes never wavering from Raven's face.

"He attempted to awaken Dr. Light, but was unable to do so. Whatever you did to him must have been quite strong. He said that it was as if Light was awake and able to comprehend everything that went on around him, but he's unable to move, speak or open his eyes," Starfire didn't sound disappointed by that. "Martian Manhunter said that he would make no further attempt to release Light until you awakened. He seemed impressed," Starfire smiled slightly. "I think he'd be interested in sitting down and talking with you when you are better."

Beast Boy's hand tightened imperceptibly on Raven's at the mention of Light's name. He hadn't forgotten anything from their fight and he remembered in detail the look on Light's face when he went after Raven. That man could waste away in his hospital bed for all he cared.

"Robin mentioned returning home in the next couple of days. If you awakened, of course. It will be nice to return there. You haven't been back since before the Brotherhood, have you?" she asked Raven, as if she anticipated an answer. After a tense and silent moment, Starfire continued. "I stopped in once for a night when I was passing through, but without the rest of you there, it didn't quite feel like home."

Starfire was quiet for a minute, but Beast Boy didn't make any move to fill the stillness. Then he heard a faint sniff and Starfire's voice wavered slightly, "I wish you were awake. I know that you saw everything that Phobia did and I wish…I wish I had someone to talk to about it. Someone who understood without me having to explain it. Robin's tried, but I just can't…he would think differently of me."

She sniffed again, "Cyborg isn't speaking much. I think he feels that it's his fault, for taking so long to return to the gym. Robin swings between working like a fiend and spending time here or with me. He misses your opinion on things. He told me once that he felt he could speak with you about everything and you would always give him a straight answer, whether or not he wanted to hear it. You seem to know things about people without ever meeting them. You understand them. You know how people work and when Robin is too invested in things, he sometimes loses the ability to look at them from a distance. You always make things clearer. He needs someone like that."

Starfire took a moment and wiped her face. "Robin said that he would have been here, but he had to go down to the police station to finish writing out the reports. He'll probably be over later. Cyborg went with him to give his statement. Beast Boy gave his statement and yours a few days ago, so you won't have to worry about that. I've tried speaking with Beast Boy about leaving, but he refuses. I expect you'll be speaking to him when you realize how much time he's spent here."

He didn't rise up to her bait. He had been at her side ever since the ambulance. The only times he had left during the past six days were to use the bathroom or wash up quickly. Otherwise, he'd been here, just like he told her he would be. The police had come to the hospital to get his statement, but it had been Officer Campbell, who had been quick and understanding about it.

"Robin told me that-"

"Excuse me? I'm sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt," someone said at the door.

The voice sounded vaguely familiar, but Beast Boy couldn't place it. He turned, making sure he knew who it was.

Martha stood in the door, her hands twisting together. "Hi. I don't…I don't know if you remember me, but I'm-"

"Martha," Beast Boy said, standing up. "No, I remember." His voice was hoarse with disuse. Honestly, he couldn't remember speaking much after Campbell had gotten his statement. "How are you feeling?" He motioned for her to come in and shook her hand.

Starfire pulled up another chair for Martha on Beast Boy's side of the bed. The girl smiled and took the seat, "I'm all right. I was just released an hour ago."

Beast Boy noticed Star's look and did the necessary introductions, "Star, this is Martha Staffers. Martha, this is Starfire, a friend. I'm not sure you remember Raven."

Martha's eyes were currently on the grey-skinned girl, "I remember her. She saved my eyes. And helped me. She got this from that man?"

Beast Boy returned to his chair, his hand slipping beneath Raven's with practiced ease, "Yeah."

"But she's…he didn't…?"

"No," he said firmly.

Martha breathed out in relief, "Good."

Beast Boy nodded, turning his attention back to Raven's face. "Yeah."

"How long has she been asleep?"

"Six days," Starfire answered, when it was clear Beast Boy wasn't going to answer. "She's been healing herself, but she hasn't woken up yet. Hopefully, it won't be long."

"And the two that did this to her, they're gone?" Martha asked.

"They're in custody, yes. The man that hurt you won't be able to hurt anyone else." Starfire was clever enough not to mention that Light was in the building. Martha didn't need any more reminders of that night.

"Good. That's good." She sat quietly for a minute before she sighed, "I guess, I just wanted to say thank you. To both of you. All of you."

"You don't need to. It's our job," Starfire said easily, smiling at the girl.

"I know. But I wanted to. When I heard Raven was here, I had to come and let her know that," Martha said. She stood up and touched Raven's wrist. In the process she brushed Beast Boy's fingers. "Thank you."

He didn't move or answer. Martha left shortly after, saying a quiet goodbye to Starfire on her way out. The alien didn't make any comment on his manners, but he felt her disapproval. He just couldn't bring himself to care.

Starfire stayed for a few minutes longer, talking with Raven about which Titans had been returned home, which villains still ran amok. Beast Boy tuned out, not really listening. She got up and left soon after, touching Beast Boy's shoulder as she passed by, but didn't say anything.

He remained in his seat, dozing in and out. He hadn't gotten a truly good night's sleep since she ended up in the hospital. Too many dreams. When he woke up for the fourth time, more than six hours had passed and he was just in time to see Starfire, Robin, and Cyborg entering.

"Hey, B," Cy said quietly. "How's she doing?"

Beast Boy shrugged, rolling his shoulders.

Robin passed him a bag, "I brought you some food. Please, eat it. I know you didn't eat anything yesterday or today, so please, just eat it?"

Beast Boy took the bag so as to avoid any arguments. He unwrapped the veggie burger and ate it in a four bites, tossing the wrapper in the trash. Robin made a sound like he was going to make some sort of comment, but he stopped himself. Beast Boy's stomach stopped the painful cramping it had been doing all day and got quiet.

Cyborg and Robin never stayed long when they visited Raven. Beast Boy couldn't find it in himself to get upset at them for that. They were incredibly busy and they knew he would call them if anything changed. They didn't need to stay with her and they still visited at least once every day.

"The doctors say they're not entirely sure why she isn't waking up," Robin said after they had finished their meals. "The damage to her head wasn't as extensive as the rest of her, which would be one of the only things to cause this type of coma."

"Wasn't a head injury," Beast Boy said.

He could nearly feel their surprise. He had only given Campbell a very basic statement, leaving out the more unbelievable aspects of the fight. He hadn't told his team much more beyond what they absolutely needed to know. In addition, Beast Boy was pretty sure that he hadn't spoken to Robin or Cy since Raven had arrived here.

"Then what was it?" Starfire asked quietly.

Beast Boy glanced up, "She used her soul self to keep Light contained. I think…it might have been damaged and then Phobia was going after her actual body at the same time. I don't think it's anything physical that's keeping her from waking up."

"Well…that's good, right? It's just a matter of time," Cyborg said.

Beast Boy shrugged, feeling his various cuts and bruises pull. "Maybe. Or maybe her fight with Light injured her more than she could handle. Maybe the physical damage was too much. You didn't hear her before the ambulance showed up. She wasn't…it wasn't looking good."

They all watched him, as if they expected him to break down. They'd just keep waiting. It wasn't going to happen. Not in front of them. And not when there was still a tiny shred of hope left. After a tense moment, Robin looked away from him and turned his attention onto Raven.

He stared at her, his jaw tight. "She'll be fine."

"She's died before and returned," Starfire added.

"It's just a matter of time." Cyborg stood up, nodding at the girl on the bed. "I'm going to head back to the hotel. Rob, Star?" They nodded and stood up, too. Cyborg looking at the changling. "B, do you think-"

"I'm staying here," he said, his tone broking no argument.

"All right. Sleep well, man." The cyborg patted him on the shoulder before leaving.

"Goodnight, Beast Boy." Starfire smiled and Robin nodded, tucking Star beneath his arm as they left the room.

And then there were two.

Beast Boy stood up, pacing around the room for a few minutes. He checked the clock, then walked to the door and pulled down the small set of shades. Then he shifted into a mouse, taking refuge beneath the bed. Moments later, the door opened and the nurse assigned to Raven's room checked her vitals and charts before turning off the light and shutting the door behind her. Beast Boy shifted back into his normal form, knowing that no one else would come in unless something drastic happened.

He took what had become his usual place at night, lying next to Raven on the tiny twin bed. Not wanting to move her, he lay on his side facing her with one arm over her stomach. He never slept long usually, but he might tonight. The time, worry, and stress were just starting to wear on him.

_Here's the deal_, he told her silently. _I'll sleep right now, and in the morning we'll both wake up. Okay?_

There wasn't even the vague sense of comprehension that usually came from their silent communications. It was like he was just talking into a void.

He tugged her closer, pressing his lips into her hair as his eyes closed. _I miss you. Wake up._

The night passed in bursts of fitful dreams for Beast Boy. Dreams of the scene on the rooftop, dreams of blood, dreams of constant silence in response to his pleas. Still, he did he best to push them out of his head when he woke up, trying to get more sleep. Because if he slept long enough, she would have to honor their deal. Eventually, when he woke up, she'd be up and smiling at him.

"Poor little changling," a voice said from the doorway.

Beast Boy jumped out of the bed in a minute, between Raven and the door. He knew his growls would draw attention from the medical staff, but he couldn't stop. Light just smirked.

"Is she dead?" Light asked, as if he were checking the time.

Beast Boy didn't answer, but Light glanced beyond him to Raven's monitors. "Ah, just sleeping. I wonder what she's dreaming about. Or who."

Light took a step into Raven's room and Beast Boy was instantly in front of him, one hand on either side of the door, keeping Light out. "Come on, Light," Beast Boy said quietly. "Go ahead and make a move. I'm begging you."

"So eager for another fight?" Light asked, stepping back nonetheless, "I thought you righteous types frowned on excessive force."

"Killing you wouldn't be excessive enough."

"Perhaps not." Light looked past Beast Boy again, "She does look rather delectable, all vulnerable like that."

Beast Boy snarled and slammed Raven's door shut behind him, grabbing for Light's arm. "That's it, you're going to prison, either willingly or in a body bag but I'm not-"

He trailed off as Light's face smiled and said, "You never learn, do you?" Then he vanished. His heart frozen, Beast Boy turned back to Raven's room and pulled on the knob.

It didn't budge. Beast Boy looked in through the glass window – hadn't he drawn the shades before heading to sleep? – and saw a second Light leaning over Raven's bed.

"No!" Beast Boy yelled, slamming his fist on the door.

Light glanced up and smirked at the helpless changling. Beast Boy tried shifting into a bear or rhino or something that could break down the door, only to find that he was unable to. He couldn't do anything. Light bent down over Raven and all Beast Boy could do was watch and-

Beast Boy woke up, sitting straight up and his heart pounding as if he had been running a marathon. Raven was still asleep next to him. There was no one else in the room but him. Light was a few floors down, in a guarded room, in a coma-like state, completely incapable of anything. Everything was fine. He glanced down at the sleeping girl. Well, almost fine.

Knowing he wasn't about to get any sleep now, he got out of the bed and went into the bathroom. Splashing some lukewarm tap water on his face, Beast Boy tried to wipe away the last dregs of his nightmare. First real nightmare he'd ever had. Fantastic.

What would he do if she never woke up?

The thought came unbidden and unwanted, but there it was, out in his head now. No ignoring it any longer. His chest felt tight as he thought about it. What the hell would he do? Things just couldn't go back to normal. Could he live in Titan Tower every day, looking at all the places Raven once sat before he had ever gotten to know her? That'd be horrific.

'Course, he couldn't exactly stop being a Titan, either. Maybe he'd just continue on as he had been, handling assignments out of the country as needed. Only stopping in for short breaks with other Titans from time to time. He would be the perfect candidate for it. It was amazing how many people ignored a green bird flying around or failed to look down and see a green mouse. Plus, he could handle assignments in pretty much every climate – ocean, tundra, desert, sky. There was always an animal for the occasion. So, that's what he'd do. Go off on his own. Alone. At least he'd have his communicator, so he could still talk to Ra-

Ah. Right.

He wiped off his face with the small towel, pressing his palms into his eyes. Fact was, he wasn't going anywhere for the moment, so there was no point in considering any other routes right now. She'd probably wake up and everything would be fine. He wasn't going anywhere, not until she woke up. That was his job right now.

He walked back into the main room, leaving the light on in the bathroom and partially closing the door. He took up his regular seat, taking Raven's hand in his and using the other to prop up his chin. His eyes slid shut a couple of times and he kept jerking himself awake just before he fell.

"Why don't you just lie down?"

Beast Boy snorted and kept his eyes closed, "'Cause then I'll just have nightmares."

"I thought you didn't get nightmares."

"I do now, ever since you-" he cut himself off and froze. He managed a tight smile, "Oh, great. So I get to suffer through these kinds of dreams, too? _Awesome_."

He dreamed that her hand tightened on his, "Beast-"

"No," he said quietly. "I'm gonna wake up and you're still gonna be asleep and then it's all just gonna be that much worse."

He didn't dream anything else from her for at least two minutes and still he didn't move. If he opened his eyes now, she'd be asleep, because she'd never woken up. All he had to do was open his eyes for a second and look at what he already knew to be true. Just a second.

Beast Boy swallowed and opened his eyes.

Raven was watching him, a tired smile on her face. Her eyes were rather sunken in, as if she hadn't been sleeping for the past six days. Her skin was paler than it should be and her eyes were a little dull, but they were clearly open.

"You're awake," he told her. He didn't move an inch.

She smirked and sat up a little, "I noticed."

"And I'm not dreaming?"

"I don't think so, no. You could always pinch yourself to-"

"Ow."

"Hmm. Well, there you go. Not dreaming."

"Huh."

Raven stared at him for a second, her head tilting to the side as she squeezed his hand, "You're scarily calm about this. Are you sure you're okay?"

"You're awake."

She sighed and leaned forward, "_Yes._"

"For real?" he asked.

Raven grabbed him by the front of his shirt and pulled him so he was sitting on top of the bed, touching her forehead to his. _Yes. Real._

He hesitated for only a moment more before closing the rest of the space between them and hugging her tightly. He squeezed his eyes shut as he felt her arms wrap around him. "You are an idiot," he mumbled into her hair.

She tried to sound offended, but her words just came out muffled, spoken into his neck, "Pray tell, how am I an idiot again?"

"You shouldn't have done that. You shouldn't have gone after Light like you did and let Phobia go after you." He wouldn't tell her how terrified he had been when he had woken up and seen her lying on the floor, as if she was already dead. Light had made him angrier than he had ever been before, but he had never been so close to losing his control than when he had seen Phobia bring the bat down on Raven.

"I'm sorry," she mumbled.

He laughed shortly, kissing her temple, "No, you aren't. You'd do the exact same thing again when given the chance." His humor faded as he remembered the scene in the gym and he pulled her tighter against him, "I thought you were dead, Rae. I didn't…it was…"

"I'm so sorry," she repeated, quieter now.

Beast Boy let his arms loosen, bringing up both hands to cup her face. She smiled and wrapped her hands around his wrists. "I missed you," he told her.

"I missed you, too."

He glanced down at her mouth and dipped his head towards her-

The door swung open and a barrage of nurses and doctors entered, one of them speaking loudly, "You're awake! The monitors just went off and…"

Beast Boy slipped off the bed, leaving room for the medical staff to work, but kept a tight hold of Raven's hand. One nurse glared at him, "You shouldn't even be here at this hour, sir."

He met her gaze and didn't say a word. She must have seen something, because she flushed and backed down, turning her attention on to Raven. She answered question after question, but Beast Boy didn't pay any attention to what she was saying. Every few moments, he would squeeze Raven's hand and she would return the pressure, just letting him know she was all right.

When the questions finally began to slow, Raven smiled at him. Beast Boy felt every bit of tension just wash out of him. So what if Light was still alive and the JLA was getting involved and the past year had been hell on everyone. Beast Boy grinned and winked at her.

As long as he had her with him, he could handle anything else the universe had to throw at him.

* * *

><p>Only a few more chapters left, guys. At least two, maybe more. Hope you'll stick with me through the end. :)<p> 


	21. Wiccaphobia

I have no excuses, so I make none. Here is a chapter for you. For those of you who stick with me during my horrendously unacceptable absences, know that I am so very grateful to you. I hope this is all right.

I own nothing. Clearly, I cannot be trusted with a deadline and would therefore have no place working with the Titans. They are very punctual people.

Dedicated to . , for making me laugh as never before over a review.

Wiccaphobia. Fear of witches and witchcraft.

* * *

><p>The next four hours or so seemed like a blur of sound and movement for Raven. The nurses and doctors huddled around her, checking vitals, asking her questions, trying to go over what happened to her again and again. They unhooked some machines while adding others, they talked about giving her transfusions while taking some blood for testing, they kept explaining what happened to her without understanding it.<p>

When the hospital staff was finally starting to leave, the Titans came in and all of the questions started over again, muddled in a cacophony of cries and explanations and hugging.

"I can't believe you're awake," Starfire cheered right upon entering the room. "We were so worried about you-"

"That was a huge risk you took, Raven," Robin's voice was serious but anyone could see that he was relived she was all right. "Don't ever do that again, or-"

Cyborg grabbed her hand, almost on the verge of tears, "I am so, so sorry, Rae. The bus driver had been blasted hardcore and he was cooking from the inside out. I had to get him to the hospital and there were all the people from Light's earlier explosion there and they wanted a statement-"

Starfire hugged her, "Beast Boy never even left the hospital and you had a visitor come by. The girl from the hotel, Martha. She wanted to wish you a speedy recovery and-"

"Phobia is already being transported to jail. Light has yet to wake up from whatever you did to him. Martian Manhunter and a few other members of the JLA are here to see him along, but I'm not sure-"

"- and then I had to wait for police backup, even though I didn't need the backup, but they were concerned about the ambulance staff and I won't ever forgive myself for being so late and letting them hurt you guys so badly. I'm so sorry, Rae. I-"

Her head was spinning from how much movement was going on. She couldn't seem to keep up. Using her soul-self like that was dangerous. It kept all of her emotions close to the surface and they all were pushing uncomfortably at her self-control. She felt like all of her insides had been scooped out, scraping against her until there was barely anything left, and then having everything shoved back inside without reason. She glanced over at the only constant thing so far, a calm green shape that didn't ask her things or talk at her or poke at her.

Beast Boy seemed to know exactly what she was thinking. He tugged Cyborg away from Raven's bed gently, "Dude, it's not an issue. You did the best you could and it all ended up okay."

He intercepted Star's next comment before she could make it, "Guys, she just woke up. Let's take everything a little calmer. Okay?" As soon as he finished talking, he returned to Raven's shoulder.

Raven noticed the way Robin eyed the changling. He suspected something was up. Well, she could just let them all know. Now, before things got awkward with secrets and hiding. She straightened up a little in her bed, glancing at Beast Boy. She had a second of doubt – what if he didn't want her to say anything?

She opened up her mouth to ask or mention it quietly or something, just so she would know. He smiled at her and she hoped she was right because she was going to say it anyway and –

"Excuse me," a deep voice cut her off before she could start. "I am so sorry to be intruding."

Robin and Beast Boy were both on their feet and between Raven and the door before she was able to turn fully to face the man. He was large, with skin darker than Cyborg's and eyes that seemed to look right through a person. Raven stared at him as he stared back and she could feel the gentle pressure of his telepathy. She blocked him out, her eyes narrowing.

"I'd appreciate it if you didn't do that again," she said quietly.

He inclined his head, ignoring the confused looks of her friends. "My apologies once again. After coming across your…work in the floor below, my curiosity of your abilities was almost too much to bear."

He looked at her friends and finally addressed them, "My name is J'onn, but you may know me better as-"

"Martian Manhunter," Robin said, drawing J'onn's attention.

"Batman's protégée. He'll be pleased to hear that you are still making use of your detective skills, Robin. But please, introduce me to the rest of your team," J'onn said.

Raven wasn't entirely convinced of this man's intentions. He was a telepath who she had blocked out completely, and he had done the exact same thing. He knew who they were. But she sat quietly as Robin went through their names.

"Starfire, princess of Tamaran."

"Cyborg, mechanics genius."

"Beast Boy, animal shape-shifter."

"And Raven, sorceress from Azarath and former pupil of Azar."

J'onn's eyes locked on Raven. "Sorceress, indeed."

She didn't like the way he said it. Nothing he said could possibly be construed as threatening and yet she felt incredibly uncomfortable under his gaze. "And you, Martian Manhunter. Telepath and the last surviving green Martian."

His head inclined again, "We both know what it is to be so very unique, do we not, daughter of Trigon?"

"Did you want something?" Beast Boy interrupted. "It's nice that the JLA is checking up on her after she took care of one of your messes, but she's only just woken up."

"One of our messes," J'onn turned over the words on his tongue. "Yes. That is why I wished to speak with you, Raven."

She hadn't even gotten out of bed yet and she's already discussing Light. "What about him?"

"What did you do to him?" J'onn asked.

From the looks on her friends' faces, they had been wondering the same thing. What should she say?

_I entered his body?_

_ I ripped out his soul?_

_ I kept him in a coma that only I could remove when, or if, I woke up?_

_ I shackled his soul so he couldn't move of his own free will, but was aware of everything?_

_ I killed him?_

_ And then brought him back?_

"All I did was keep him contained," she said slowly. "He wouldn't be able to move, but he can breathe. And he can hear everything that was said around him. He's conscious."

J'onn stepped closer to her bed. "It was more than that. A simple containment I could have removed. But it proved impossible. What did you do?"

She met those probing eyes with her own calm gaze. "I contained him. That's all there is to it."

He stared at her and she stared right back. She felt him pushing at her mind again, seeking a way in. From what she had read, Martians used their telepathy as communication. She used hers as a weapon against her father. Not much could match Trigon's strength, not even a Martian.

Their silent battle of wills went on for only minutes, but it felt much longer for Raven. Despite her natural ability, the fight with Light had drained her and left her feeling weak and kitteny. She didn't know how much she could withstand of this holding pattern.

_Fine_, she thought. _No more holding._

With a force of energy that was akin to a shove, Raven pushed J'onn's mind away from her. Having not expected an offensive move, J'onn was physically moved back a foot.

Silence reigned in the room as the Titans took in what happened. They may not know the details, but they knew someone had crossed a line.

"I'll wake Light up later today. And then you can escort him to prison,  
>Raven said firmly. She made sure J'onn was paying close attention as she emphasized, "<em>Only <em>escort him."

Even with J'onn's defenses, Raven felt his surprise. He didn't think she had known that the JLA had done to Light. Well. Now he did. She also knew that he hadn't been involved in the initial decision to mind-wipe Light. If he had been, would he have voted for or against it?

J'onn recovered instantly. "I am glad to hear that and I will be happy to oblige. Should you need my help in any way, please do not hesitate to call upon me."

"Thank you," Raven responded in a monotone voice. She could play this part just as easily as he could.

J'onn headed towards the door, nodding at the Titans as he left, "The pleasure of meeting you was all mine."

No one spoke for a full ten seconds after the door shut. Then they all turned to Raven.

"What was that?"

"Did he hurt you?"

"What did you do to him?"

"What did he mean?"

She held up a hand and closed her eyes against the headache that was starting. "I'm fine," she told them. "Just…give me a minute."

"You told him you knew about Light," Robin said once her hand fell.

She nodded.

"Might not have been the best move."

The response didn't come from Raven, but from Beast Boy, still standing at her side. "They have to know that others aware. That other people don't think it's right. Or maybe they'll start doing it to everyone who argues with them. They have to be held accountable."

Robin stared at him and then slowly nodded. "Yeah. I guess you're right. Still, I wish we could have held that bit of information for a more opportune time."

"Well," Cyborg shrugged, "it's out now."

"And if I am not mistaken," Starfire added, "Raven only admitted to her awareness of the Justice League's actions, not the rest of us."

Robin glanced at her and grudgingly acknowledged that, "I guess that's true."

She tried to smother it with her hand, but Raven's body betrayed her, making her yawn widely.

Beast Boy saw immediately, "All right, guys. Raven needs to go to sleep."

"But she just woke up!" Starfire looked scared.

Raven reassured her, "Don't worry, Star. I finished most of the healing, I just need to rest a little."

"Are you certain?"

"Yes, Star. I'm certain," Raven said with a smile. "I'm just a little…worn out."

Robin squeezed her arm, "Get some sleep. We'll be back later today or tomorrow. And it's good to have you back."

Cyborg hugged her as best as he could, "Don't ever scare us like that again, okay?"

Raven cursed how reactive her emotions were as tears pricked the back of her eyes, "Okay."

"Sleep well, Raven. But not for so long this time." Starfire smiled and waved goodbye.

Beast Boy trailed behind the others, "I'll catch up with you guys later."

"Sure, BB."

Cyborg shut the door behind him, leaving Raven and Beast Boy on their own.

"You sure you're okay?" he immediately asked. "I wouldn't have thought that you'd snap at a JLA guy. Especially not J'onn."

"He pushed me," she told him.

"You've been pushed further by others and haven't acted like that."

"No," she told him. "He tried to look into my head. He _pushed_ me." She tapped her temple. "And after everything this past week…I'm kind of done being pushed by anyone. Especially by the JLA."

He looked angry, but it was quickly pushed aside. Even so, she felt the surge of hostility surge from him and winced.

"Rae? Is it hurting?" he asked, the anger disappearing immediately.

"No," she told him, rubbing her eyes. "I'm just…tired, I guess." Unable to keep her defenses up to block wayward emotions, was more like it.

"Okay, I'll let you get some sleep."

She hadn't forgotten Starfire's comment earlier, "Will you go and get some sleep?"

"I'll sleep, yeah."

Interesting phrasing. "…you aren't going to leave the hospital, are you?" she asked, without needing an answer.

"Not until you do." He smirked as he slid into a chair, but it didn't quite hide everything. Now that she had time to take a breath, Raven really looked at him – the shadows under his eyes, the way his clothes were hanging a little looser, his hair was disheveled, and even though it had almost disappeared now, the marks of intense worry were still apparent in the lines of his mouth.

He had been genuinely terrified that she wouldn't ever wake up.

She had apologized and deep down he understood and would have done the exact same thing in her place. But still. She had nearly left him forever. Unwillingly and under much duress, but it still might have happened. If it had been him that had fallen asleep…Raven's stomach clenched tightly. How in the world could she apologize for something like that?

Raven sat up a bit and moved over in the bed. Beast Boy was immediately on his feet and at her side, "What are you doing?"

"Making room," she told him.

He looked startled for a moment before smiling. "You don't need to do that."

"And you don't need to stay here."

"Yes, I do."

"Then I have to make room."

"You really don't."

"Just stop arguing and get in."

Mercifully, he did as he was told. It took a moment of awkward shuffling around, but eventually Beast Boy lay flat on his back and Raven curled into him. He held her a little tighter than necessary, but she wasn't complaining.

"You sure this is okay?" he asked.

They had done this several nights already, why wouldn't it be okay now? "Of course."

"And you're not in pain?"

"Beast Boy," she blew out her breath in exasperation, "I'm really all right. Just very tired."

"It's more than tired," he noted, but he wasn't being argumentative. Just worried.

She sighed, closing her eyes. "Yes. A lot more."

Beast Boy was silent, but she knew he wasn't sleeping. Finally she lifted her head up, staring him in the eye. "Just ask whatever you want to ask so we can get some sleep."

"What happened?"

She put her head back down. "You know what happened."

"Raven."

She took a moment to collect her thoughts. He did deserve to know. "After Light threw the bomb, I lost control over Phobia. She and Light were both up and it looked like you were unconscious. I couldn't move to you in time, so I used my soul-self."

"And you went after Light, even though Phobia was coming towards you," Beast Boy said, his voice making his chest rumble beneath her cheek.

"Light was the bigger threat and you know it," she told him.

She felt him sigh. "And then what?"

"I went into him. Into his soul. If I could subdue him from the inside, he wouldn't be able to move on the outside."

"It took a long time. Phobia had enough time to…and I was able to wake up and go after her before Light fell."

"His soul is strong. Just in all the bad ways. And my demon side wasn't exactly opposed to his way of thinking. I nearly lost myself." The admission was out before she could censor her words.

Beast Boy's fingers tightened on her hip. "What would have happened if you had?"

"Nothing good."

For a minute she thought he would ask her what that meant, but he surprised her and moved past it. "Go on."

"I couldn't overpower Light's soul within his body. But I could twist it, which is how I kept him from firing on you." The next part was the worst, but her mouth was on autopilot. "And then I just tore it out of him completely."

"What did that do to him?"

She took a breath. "I…I killed him. For an instant only, but I still did it."

For a minute Beast Boy didn't move and Raven's heart jumped into her throat. He would hate her now, he would judge her for doing that and she couldn't blame him. She was judging herself.

"You brought him back to life," Beast Boy said quietly.

That didn't sound like what she did. She had killed him and undone it. Bringing someone back to life sounded much more…benevolent.

"Because I took his life to begin with."

"Raven," her world turned as Beast Boy shifted suddenly, tilting her on her back and leaning over her, still holding her tightly. "Light wouldn't have hesitated to kill you or me. Or anyone else who got in his way. And he would only kill after he'd done even worse things." His eyes were bright as they stared down at her. "You stopped him the only way you could and then you undid it and kept him from escaping or hurting anyone else."

"But I took his li-"

"And gave it back to the undeserving bastard," he interrupted. "Rae, I'm not saying that this should be your way for every baddie we go up against, but in Light's case, it was the only thing that would have stopped him. And he _had_ to be stopped."

She nodded slightly, not entirely convinced, but feeling more at ease. Beast Boy stared at her for another second before returning to their original position. Raven settled against him before finishing off the rest of the tale. "I encased his soul, so he's down there, able to hear everything that's going on. He just can't move of his own free will. As for everything else, well, you called the ambulance and that's all I remember."

Beast Boy was quiet and Raven's eyes slipped closed, thinking the conversation was pretty much over.

"You were going to say something," he said, startling her.

"No," she mumbled, closing her eyes again, "I'm half asleep."

He kept going, "No, I meant in the gym. Just as the ambulance was showing up."

Raven's eyes shot open, but she didn't turn to face him. In the moment, she knew that she would have admitted everything to him. But now? Neither one of them had said anything to their friends, except for Cyborg. What if whatever they had was only for the time being? Something they had built up around the fear and anger at Light? Of course, she knew on her part it wasn't, but how could she be sure of him? He cared about her, obviously. But anything more than that? What if it wasn't like she thought?

"Did I?" she finally asked, hating herself for not taking the plunge and just saying it.

He hummed in his chest, neither a yes nor a no. "We should get some sleep."

Thrown off by his change in topics, she didn't say anything until he added, "Sleep well, Rae."

"You too. And thank you. For staying here and watching over me."

"Always."

The tone behind the single word made her flush a little, but they both really needed some sleep at the very least. So putting aside any other questions that she wanted to ask, Raven closed her eyes and fell asleep.

She woke up some time later, not entirely sure what had woken her. She was alone and the room was dark, disconcerting her for a moment.

"Beast Boy?" she asked. Her voice sounded a little scratchy and nothing answered it.

With a tremendous effort, Raven sat up. It felt like she hadn't moved in days. Which is exactly what happened.

Slowly, knowing her own limits and pushing them anyway, she swung her legs over the side of the bed. The ground seemed a long way off and she stared at it in annoyance. Taking a breath, she dropped as slowly as she could, hesitating as her feet made contact. Her legs tingled, having slept for too long and unwilling to do any sort of work now. She ignored it and put her weight on her feet, making sure she had a strong hold on the bed.

It was an uncertain few moments, but eventually she raised her hand from the bed, standing on her own power. With that victory under her skin, she eyed the bathroom door. No way she would let five feet and a door stop her now.

In all, it took her around fifteen steps and a very lucky catch on the counter, but she didn't actually fall. So it was with a contented smile that she washed up. Now, if only she had something instead of this horrid hospital gown. Thank Azar it was one that pulled over her head rather than tied at her back.

She was just drying off her face when she heard the main door open. There was a sharp intake of breath and she heard a familiar worried voice, "Raven?"

Opening the door, Raven saw the changling visibly relax when he saw her. He took a step into the room, shutting the door behind him. He had a bag over his shoulder and he watched her carefully.

"Hi," she said.

He smirked, "Hi yourself. You know, the doctor said you wouldn't be up to walking for another day or so."

She shrugs, "No one told me." She walked forward slowly, not wanting to fall now that she had an audience. By some miracle, she made it back to her bed, though she made no move to sit.

"What time is it?" she asked, not seeing a clock anywhere in the room. Further inspection revealed she didn't see her communicator or trace of her clothes anywhere in the room either.

"About eleven."

"At night?" There weren't any windows in her room.

Beast Boy nodded and placed the bag on the bed. "I brought you some of your clothes, now that you're awake."

Had he read her mind? Some days she wasn't certain that he couldn't. "Thank you." She opened it and found jeans, a tank top, a sweatshirt. She even managed to look at the underwear without blushing she was so grateful.

"Can you manage changing on your own?" he asked.

Was that an offer? "I think so. I'm sure a tremendous crash would signal you that I might need a hand."

"I'll keep a sharp ear then."

Raven took the bag and made the dangerous trip back to the bathroom. Once there she closed the door and started the arduous effort of changing. It took far longer than she had ever taken before and though her physical wounds had all but healed, they still ached and pulled as she moved. She sat on the closed toilet seat, her breathing embarrassingly rough for just the simple act of changing clothes. Never again would she take dressing for granted.

Beast Boy had even thrown in a brush. She pulled it out and dragged it through her hair. Amazing how tangled it had gotten just from her sleeping. She was about halfway through where there was a knock on the door.

"You okay?" Beast Boy asked.

"I'm fine. You can open the door," she told him.

He did, stepping inside to lean on the counter and watch her. It was as if he was scared she would simply disappear if he wasn't there to keep an eye on her.

"I'm okay, Beast Boy," she said quietly.

He smiled, "I know."

Raven's resolution had only gotten stronger with being properly dressed. "So, are you ready?"

His eyes watched her in a combination of confusion, wariness and a little humor. "For what?"

"I believe I have an appointment with a coma patient," she said, standing up. "And I'd rather do it now than when this place is crawling with staff and the JLA."

"Are you up for it?" he asked her. The humor was completely gone now.

"It needs to be done. And I think sooner is better than later."

He sighed, rubbing his eyes, "I won't let you in there alone with him."

"I wasn't asking you to."

"Fine. Then…shall we?" He gestured to the door.

Raven walked out in front of him, but only made it to the main door before she had to grab onto the doorframe to catch herself. Beast Boy was immediately at her side, holding on her elbow and steadying her. "You aren't up for this."

"Walking? No, not so much. But I can fix Light now," she said.

"Not if you can't get there," he told her. He stepped back from her and crossed his arms.

Two could play this game. She moved past him, holding onto the walls as tightly as she could to keep herself upright.

"What are you doing?" he asked her.

"Getting to Light. Like I said I would." The words were spat out through gritted teeth.

He walked easily behind her. Show-off. "You might not be heading in the right direction."

"I was literally wrapped up in that man's soul," she said quietly. "Do you really think I couldn't find him again?"

"So what, you're going to crawl into his room?"

"Yes. And then I'll fix what I did and he'll be back to his regular, monstrous self."

Beast Boy's steps faltered, "And you'll be in there, unable to walk under your own power."

"You could always come with me, help me and get me out safely, rather than irritating me every step of the way," she snapped. She could see the stairwell up ahead and she was already dreading stairs.

Without warning, her feet left the ground. She gasped, instinctively grabbed onto whatever she could get a hold of, which happened to be Beast Boy's shirt. With one arm beneath her knees and the other behind her shoulders, he carried her easily down the empty hallway, through the stairwell doors.

"I meant something a little less dramatic," Raven murmured.

He didn't smile or laugh, "I don't like this." He had a faint limp in the leg that had been broken. She'd have to remember to fix the rest of it once she got some more sleep.

"It has to be done."

They didn't speak again until they had reached Light's floor and Beast Boy's steps started to slow. A few nurses had made moves to intercept them, but either Raven's face or Beast Boy's glare had stopped them. Raven straightened up in Beast Boy's arms.

"Can you put me down? I think I'd rather be standing under my own power when I face him."

Beast Boy put her down and she walked on her own to the door. She could just see Light's face past the machinery. Some people looked peaceful while they slept. Angelic, even. Maybe it's because she knew what was really happening to him that she could see how his body was tense. As if he was fighting an all out war in his sleep. Fighting against her power.

Well, tough luck on him. He wouldn't and couldn't break the lock she had on his soul.

"Are you sure about this, Rae?" Beast Boy asked again from behind her.

"Yes." She pushed open the door and walked in, the changling close on her heels.

She walked around to Light's bed slowly, eyeing the restraints that were already hooked up on his wrists, ankles and across his stomach. They looked secure enough. Besides, he'd be weak from his sleep and still injured from their battle. He didn't have super fast healing like Beast Boy or power like her. He'd still be recovering. And worst case, she could just lock him up again.

"Rae…"

She held up her hand to silence him. Light could hear them. She didn't want him for one moment to think she was weak.

Raven stepped to his side, looking down on the man she and Beast Boy had almost died fighting against. The man she had, momentarily, killed.

"Evening, Light," she said quietly. "How has your week been?"

She imagined the expletives she would be hearing if he could speak. That made her smirk a little bit.

"I hope you realize that your room is being monitored by doctors, the Titans, the Justice League, and the authorities. You should also know that no one, and I mean _not a single person_, other than me can remove the lock that I have on you. And I don't have to remove it. No one would complain if I didn't. I could just let you waste away in this bed until you just give up and die."

She waited, letting him rage silently for a moment. "But, I'd rather you suffer through court proceedings. No one in their right mind would allow you to walk and you're far too coordinated to plead insanity. And I will happily take the stand and testify as to how Beast Boy and I, two _children_, managed to take you down and bring you to justice. And when they cart you away to serve out your life sentence, I'll be there to wave goodbye."

Raven let her fingers hover just above Light's temples. She took a breath and silently unlocked Light from the insubstantial manacles she had placed on him. The response was immediate.

His eyes snapped wide open and immediately filled with undisguised and complete hatred. "You little bitch. Did you think I'll just silently accept whatever judgment the feeble courts will impose upon me? Do you think it will matter? I'll break out, I'll track you down and then I exact whatever vengeance I feel like upon you, the mutant, and whoever else I come across. And I will be _thorough_, I promise you. I will-"

"Be quiet," Raven said firmly.

His eyes narrowed as he stared at her. "You can't stop me, little demon-girl. I will always keep coming after you. No prison can hold me and you can't keep your mental chains on me without incurring the wrath of other authorities. You can't do anything but attempt to hold me and fail every time. You-"

"I could kill you again," Raven said quietly.

Light's eyes widened and he actually shrunk away from her. "I thought that I had just…"

"Imagined it all? No. I ripped out your soul and killed you. Your heart stopped, Light. And then I restarted it."

She leaned over him. "If you attempt to come near me again, if you try to come near anyone else in your entire pathetic existence, and I find out about it, I won't hesitate to kill you. I can do it from a distance, with only a thought. And next time, I will not bring you back. Do you understand?" she asked him, completely calm. Her voice might be a bit quieter than she would have liked, but it didn't waver.

Light stared at her, his face paler than when he had woken up. He was terrified of her. Good.

She turned and walked away from him, her steps slow but controlled. Beast Boy walked behind her, not touching her or speaking to her until they were out of sight of Light's room. Then he picked her up in a hug.

"I think," he said as he spun her around a bit, "that was the most amazingly bad-ass conversation I have ever heard."

She smiled as he set her down on her feet, still holding on to her arms.

"Thanks for coming with me."

"It's not like you needed me. Hell, I don't think Light's ever been spoken to like that!"

"I doubt I would have been able to say any of it if you weren't there to watch out for me." The admission struck him, his wide grin fading into a smile.

"I've told you, Rae," he said, his hands tightening on her arms, "I'm always gonna be here for you."

He glanced down at her mouth and she did the same to his. She was the one that moved this time, stepping forward and tilting her head up. Maybe taking on Light had left her with an adrenaline rush or maybe it was having the confidence that wearing one's own clothes provides. Either way, she was going to kiss him and there was nothing he was doing to stop-

"Excuse me, but what are you two doing out here?" A nurse approached them, looking very cross.

Raven stepped back and Beast Boy let his hands drop until he was only holding her hand. He spoke up – did he voice sound a little deeper? – "Raven is a patient here. We were just taking a walk."

"Well I suggest that you," she nodded at Raven, "get back to bed. And you," she turned her glare onto Beast Boy, "shouldn't be here at this hour anyway."

He glared right back and Raven had to tug him away. They walked back to her room, Raven feeling annoyed and far too wired to sleep at the moment. She noticed that Beast Boy hadn't let go of her hand.

Her room was in sight when Beast Boy spoke up, "So how much longer have you got in here?"

"I want to leave tomorrow, if they let me," she told him. "I don't like being in here."

"The feeling's mutual," he said, smiling down at her. "And then head home to the Tower?"

She nodded. "That sounds good. Home. My own bed. My own books. I haven't read in so long."

"What'll you read when you get there?"

She shrugged, "Whatever I get my hands on first."

"Think you'll still have nightmares?"

The change in topics left her winded for a minute, but she caught herself. "Maybe. I don't know. Just have to wait and see, I guess."

His hand tightened on hers for a second and they were outside her door. "Well, if you do still get them, I'm always willing to share my bed. Just as a backup."

Her heart was pounding too loud, the admission sending her reeling. "I…um."

His eyes locked down for a minute and she could feel him pulling away emotionally, if not physically. "I was joking." His smile was forced. He was just as unsure as her as to what was going to happen when they left the city and returned home.

She couldn't have him looking like this. Not when he had done nothing to actually upset her. "I was just going to say, I think my bed is bigger. Unless you'd rather I sleep on the bottom bunk while you sleep on the top?"

It was like looking into a tiny sun as his eyes lit up. "I think I've outgrown bunk beds."

"Oh?" She couldn't help but smile.

He grinned back slowly, "Raven, I think that you and I should-"

Raven gasped as something exploded against her sense. She lost her balance and slipped back a little. Beast Boy immediately caught her, "What's wrong?"

She couldn't explain it. There had been a flash of something. A death? But not quite. Something different and not. There was a void somewhere there hadn't been before. Something was wrong. She searched for a moment and it all clicked into place. "Light. We have to get to Light."


	22. Epistemophobia

Look! A reasonable gap between updates!

This is the final chapter of this story. There will probably be an epilogue, but this story is pretty much finished. For those of you who stuck with me during my inexcusable gaps, thank you so much.

Thank you to everyone who reviewed. And thanks for loving Beast Boy and Raven. It just makes you cooler than other people.

I don't own the Teen Titans. I just love them and like to play with them.

Epistemophobia. Fear of knowledge.

* * *

><p>Raven's hands were shaking in the aftermath of whatever she had felt. Beast Boy was shocked at the suddenness of the change in mood. She was already moving as quickly as she could back down the hallway to the stairwell. She tripped and without missing a beat, Beast Boy grabbed her and held her off the ground.<p>

"If something's going on with Light, let me go and deal with him," he told her. "I don't want you down there with him."

"No," she grabbed his wrist. "Light's isn't causing the danger. He's _in_ danger."

For about a millisecond, Beast Boy just wanted to turn around and go back into Raven's room. He had absolutely no desire to go and help Light. Not after all the effort it took to just put him into the hospital. But then his common sense kicked in and he picked up Raven, heading immediately for the stairwell. He might not understand everything, but he knew how to move quickly.

He took the steps four at a time, even with her clinging to him. When he pushed open the door for Light's floor, he swung her off, holding onto her waist but letting her walk on her own. They passed by the cross nurse, who glared at them but let them continue on, and into the hallway that led to Light's room. He could hear people in the room in front of them, but he didn't see them until they turned the corner.

He stared at J'onn, the dark man looking surprised to see them. A woman was at his side, with dark hair and pretty curves, all dressed in black and white, covered with a large coat. Beast Boy's arm tightened around Raven's waist, his stomach twisting as everything fell into place. Of course they'd do it now, while everyone would be asleep.

He looked past the members of the Justice League, looking at Light's face in his room. Though nothing was physically different, Beast Boy could see by the set of his eyes and mouth that this wasn't the same man they had spoken with just minutes before. This was the old Light. The one they had beaten many times before. The man who's largest crime was trying to steal diamonds and light. The man they had only recently realized was just a mask. The JLA had really done it.

Is that what Raven had felt upstairs? Light's true character being smothered by these people? Had it felt like someone dying?

Raven didn't seem surprised to see them. She looked angry, but not surprised. She had felt it, after all. She focused not on J'onn, but the woman. The two approached them steadily, until it was clear that neither Raven nor Beast Boy were going to step out of their way. The four were completely alone in the hall, and Beast Boy couldn't hear anyone nearby. They were not going to be interrupted.

J'onn was the first one to speak. His steps faltered when he was within feet of them. "Good evening. I thought you would still be recovering."

"You mean you thought you'd be uninterrupted down here," Beast Boy said.

Raven stared at the two of them, "How could you?"

It was the woman that answered this time, "You don't know anything about it this man. Leave it be."

"Of course I know about him!" Raven shouted. "I was in his head! I know exactly what kind of man he is!"

"Then how can you defend him?" the woman asked, her tone sharp.

"Because this is not what you're supposed to do!" Beast Boy added. "You're supposed to be the _Justice_ League! Not judge, jury and executioner!"

"Don't lecture me on my duties," the woman snapped. "I've seen firsthand what this man did to one of my friends and he'll just keep on doing it until he's dead or stopped permanently."

"Your magical lobotomy didn't work the first time, Zatanna," Raven told her. "What makes you think it'll work this time?"

Zatanna turned her head towards the empath, "It worked."

"For a time," Raven said. "And when it broke, it left most of us unprepared to deal with the real Light. And he got his hands on other women."

"I've made it stronger this time," Zatanna told her.

Beast Boy stared at her, "And where does it stop? Will you do this to every criminal you come up against? And what about when people challenge you? Are you gonna do this to us, for arguing with you?"

"To a member of your own team?" Raven asked her quietly.

Zatanna went completely pale as she twisted her head around to glare at Raven. Beast Boy tensed. Two weeks ago, he probably would never have entertained the thought of fighting a member of the Justice League. Now, he wasn't so sure it wouldn't come to a fight.

"Yeah. I know everything," Raven told her. "How does it feel that someone outside knows about your dirty little secrets? Do you still feel like you did the right thing? Can you defend your actions to me?"

Zatanna reached for her coat and the reaction was instantaneous. Beast Boy crouched, a rumble starting in his chest. Raven's hands were lifted and glowing. Startlingly, J'onn reached over and took Zatanna's shoulder.

"This is not the way, Zatanna. They are right. We cannot do this to everyone questions us," J'onn said quietly. Though he didn't remove his hand, he made no more motion to stop her should she try to attack them. Beast Boy took a second to glare at the Martian before returning his attention to the magician.

She didn't move her hand from her coat and Beast Boy growled, stepping closer to Raven.

Raven raised her hand higher, her voice icy cold. "You may have magically lobotomized him, but if you even entertain the thought of doing the same to any of my team, you will severely regret it."

"Zatanna," J'onn's voice was just shy of a command.

She released whatever she had in her coat and let her hands drop. She shoved past Beast Boy and Raven, neither of them moving to make her way easier. Raven's powers disappeared back within her skin and Beast Boy fell silent. J'onn watched her go, his eyes impassive. Eventually, he looked back to the Titans.

"I will escort Light to prison tomorrow. I will say my farewells now. I doubt that you would…appreciate my attentions any longer. Thank you, for all that you've done," he said.

"You have to talk to them," Raven said quietly. "You have to make them see that this won't solve anything. This will lead them all somewhere that we can't risk going. We have to be the line that people won't cross."

J'onn looked at her carefully. "I will do my best, Raven. I can promise you that."

"Thank you," she told him.

The two of them stepped aside as J'onn walked past them, catching up with Zatanna. Raven's arms fell limp at her side once both of them were out of sight. Her eyes slipped closed for a minute and she sighed.

"Is Light…?" he asked her quietly. He was almost certain but he had to ask it anyway.

"Yeah. We're too late," Raven opened her eyes.

"Can you fix it?" Why the hell had he asked that?

She walked up to Light's window, pressing her palm against the glass. Light didn't look over at her. Letting her eyes slip closed, Raven exhaled slowly. Only a second passed before she lifted her hand up. "No. He's just…not there. Whatever she did, she just removed whatever makes this man Light."

Beast Boy felt sick to his stomach. He sure as hell had no lost love for Light and he knew, part of him _knew_, that Zatanna was right. Light wouldn't stop if they just left him. But there was a reason people had stopped doing lobotomies. Besides…in a way, it was almost wrong to commit this Light for the actions of the other one. Technically, this man hadn't done all those horrendous things. Not that it would stop him from locking Light up for life.

All that aside, he still couldn't believe that the Justice League went that far. They turned against one another. They turned against the people they called friends. How many other people, criminals or friends had they done this to? How far had this gone already? Jeez, they'd done it to _Batman_! Did they have no line at all? Who else was at risk?

He looked at Raven. She was pale and shaking. Thoughts of the Justice League were immediately gone from his mind. "Come on," he said, wrapping his arm around her waist again, "you need to get back to bed."

She made every attempt to walk, keeping quiet even when he knew she was done in. She wasn't lying when she said she was tired. He could feel it through their link - an aching, bone-deep exhaustion. He didn't know how she managed to stay on her feet for this long. Once they passed the angry nurse for the third time, he picked her up. She was so tired she didn't even argue.

"I don't know if I should be grateful or appalled," Raven said when they exited the stairwell.

"At what?" he asked, adjusting her slightly in his arms.

"Zatanna. On one hand, I know that it's wrong to change someone's very nature because it's not the way he should be. No one should have that power. On the other, I know that I'll sleep a little better knowing that we…that everyone will be safer."

He couldn't help it, "For a while."

She glanced up at him, a sad smile on her face. "Yeah. A while."

"Look," he said, pushing open the door to her room. "We can't do anything about him now. Zatanna's acted and we can't change it. So, we just have to keep an eye on him."

He let Raven down gently next to her bed. She slipped the sweatshirt off of her shoulders, eyeing him. "And if he goes back to the way he really is?"

"We warn people. And we stop him." Beast Boy shrugged. What else would they do?

Raven looked at him strangely and he stared back. "What?"

"You're just…" she shook her head, trailing off.

"Just what?"

"You always know exactly how to make things less complicated," she said.

He grinned at her, "Product of a simple mind. I have to keep things simple and straightforward."

"You don't have a simple mind, Beast Boy. You're much cleverer than you make people think." The smile she had while she was speaking vanished beneath a yawn.

"And you're exhausted." He nodded towards the bed. "Get some sleep."

"What about you?" she asked as she slowly edged up onto the bed.

Their altercation with Light and the Justice League meant adrenaline was still running through him. "I'm all right for now. I'll call Rob and let him know what went on."

"Okay," she mumbled. Her eyes were already closed and she was out before Beast Boy made it over to the bed.

"G'night to you, too," he murmured with a smile. When he pulled the blanket up and over her shoulders, she said something incoherent before shifting and falling silent. He dug in his pocket for his communicator and flipped it open, sliding outside the room and closing the door behind him. He dialed Robin and slid down the wall so he was leaning against the door.

Robin's voice was scratchy when he finally picked up, "Robin here."

"It's me."

"Beast Boy? Is everything okay? Has something happened with Raven?" Robin's voice went from drowsy to concerned in an instant.

"She's fine. But no, everything's not okay. We went down and woke up Light and-"

"You did that without us?" Robin yelled.

Beast Boy kept going, "That's not the important part. We woke him up and he was his usual psycho, bastard self. So we came back up to her room. Few minutes later, the JLA showed up."

"Dammit," Robin said quietly. "I thought they'd wait."

"Apparently not. Zatanna looked pretty pissed that we were there."

"You saw them? Did you speak to them?" Robin asked him.

"A little. We told her we knew what she did, she told us we didn't know what we were talking about. Raven made it clear we knew exactly what was going on and that we didn't think the mind-wipe thing was right. Then Zatanna may or may not have made a move to do the same thing to Raven and I."

"What the hell?!" Robin's shout brought the attention of one of the nurses.

Beast Boy waved her away, "Chill, dude. If that happened, do you think I'd be calling you?"

"What did happen?"

"Raven threatened her and J'onn talked her down. They left. But we can't do anything about Light. Raven tried, but she said whatever it is that makes him what he is, it's just gone."

"Zatanna's magic works in a way that we don't really understand," Robin was distracted. "So Light is back to being…"

"Castrated? Yeah. And going to prison for things that this guy's too wimpy to do."

"But if we let him go and he reverts again, it would be much worse." Robin sighed, "How's Raven holding up?"

"She's tired. For good reason. She doesn't want to stay in the hospital though. And physically, she's fine. She just needs to rest some more. Anything you can do about springing her early? Like, tomorrow?" Beast Boy asked. Everyone was anxious to get back home again and he knew that Raven would probably recover better there than in an unfamiliar hospital bed.

"I'll see what I can do," Robin promised. "Get some sleep. She's all right now. Everyone is okay. You can calm down."

"Yeah," Beast Boy rubbed his face. "Just a little difficult to that. We've all been so wired for the past year. And now it's like…I don't know."

"Get some sleep, B. We'll all feel better after we've gotten home and rested some."

"Thanks. All right, goodnight," Beast Boy said.

Robin said his farewells and hung up. Beast Boy stayed outside for a minute. Calm down. Yeah. He'd been at this for a year nonstop. How could he just turn off his instincts now?

Whatever. He would just deal with that later. Silently, he went back into Raven's room. She was fast asleep, curled up facing the door. Beast Boy took a seat in the single chair, stretching his arms above his head and his legs out in front of him. The one that Light had broken still gave him a twinge every time he extended it all the way. A nice unneeded reminder of that day. Still, it probably would have been worse had Raven not patched it up. Though his eyes had never left her, his thoughts were drawn back, as they always were.

What would happen when they got back to the Tower? Would it be back to the way they were before the Brotherhood? The thought caused an unwelcome twist in his stomach. He hoped not. So what then? She'd be his – girlfriend? That sounded weird in his head. 'Girlfriend' just sounded too juvenile. But it would be better than nothing. He couldn't go back to the way things had been before. And earlier, had it not been for that stupid nurse or for the JLA, these things might have been hashed out. Now, he was just left sitting here without any answers and his questions getting more and more unwelcome.

Fine. He'd just have to talk to her when they finally got a minute or two alone. He wasn't callous enough to wake her when she was sleeping, not when she needed it so badly. But tomorrow. Definitely. They'd talk and he'd get an answer.

Resolved and feeling a little more relaxed, Beast Boy threaded his fingers behind his head. His eyes slipped closed, but he knew that even if he fell asleep, it wouldn't be very deeply. He'd be right here in case something else happened.

And tomorrow. Tomorrow they'd talk.

* * *

><p>Well. Tomorrow didn't go exactly as he had planned.<p>

Raven slept in late, as she should have. Robin sprung her from the hospital, but that had meant Beast Boy had to go back to the hotel and pack up both their things the second he woke up. By the time he got back, the rest of the Titans were there and Raven was already looking worn out. Before he had a chance to talk to her, they were all piling into the T-car on loan from the Titans East, as their T-Car was still out of commission.

He thought he'd have an opportunity again when he took a seat in the back between Raven and Star, but Robin kept asking him questions about the Justice League and by the time he had a chance to breathe, Raven was asleep against the window. So, another opportunity lost.

For sure, once they got to the Tower he'd get a chance to talk to her. It was dark when they finally saw the Tower.

Cyborg spoke up, breaking the silence, "Been a long time, huh?"

"Certainly feels like a lot more than a year," Robin said.

Beast Boy glanced over to find Raven's eyes open for the first time in hours. She stared at the still distant T with a look of surprise on her face.

"What's wrong?" he asked, not wanting to draw any attention.

She looked at him and smiled a little, "I just didn't realize how much I've missed it."

"It will be good to be home," Starfire said, her eyes still drowsy from her own nap.

With hopes of catching Raven before she disappeared into her room, Beast Boy grabbed a pile of luggage after they parked in the garage. Together, the Titans managed to find their way up the familiar staircase up to the main room. When the doors opened, Beast Boy almost had to literally bite his tongue upon seeing Aqualad, Bumblebee and Speedy on their couch.

The trio had come to welcome them home and Beast Boy appreciated it. Of course he did. He loved his friends. But they had some really shitty timing sometimes! Raven glanced at him and smiled at something. He didn't know what for, but he made a face at her in return.

"I wanted to make sure Sparky got my car back in one piece," Bee said, arching her brow at Cyborg.

"Your car?" Aqualad asked, but she ignored him.

"I built you that car, of course I'll take care of it." Cyborg's arms were crossed as he addressed the heroine.

Raven and Starfire disappeared for a short time, no doubt checking to make sure their rooms were unscathed. Beast Boy let the luggage fall where he wanted, checking the fridge. It was pretty well picked, but the necessitates were there – water, bread, milk, some cold cuts, and condiments. He pulled out some plates and the stuff to make sandwiches.

"Well, we haven't got much, but help yourselves," Beast Boy told them.

The Titans descended on the food and for a while, the only sounds in the room were that of chewing. The girls came back in and made some food of their own, finding places to sit on the couches or kitchen. Happily, Beast Boy ended up on the floor near Raven, who was curled up on the couch, a plate of food tucked in her lap.

Despite the intrusion, Beast Boy couldn't help but feel content with his friends around him. For the moment, they were all safe and together, no one was stalking them, there were no obscenely dangerous criminals to chase down and for the first time in a long, long time, they were all home.

"Beast Boy?"

"Hmm?" He glanced up and realized Aqualad had asked him a question.

"What's been your favorite thing about the past year?"

"Favorite thing, huh?" he repeated.

"Yeah," Bumblebee was leaning up against Cyborg's arm – she certainly hadn't started out the evening like that. "I mean, it was full of horrible things, of course. But there had to be something that wasn't so bad. Something that made it worthwhile."

Well, that was easy. Beast Boy shifted and pressed his shoulder against Raven's knee. Even if nothing came out of this now that they were home, getting the chance to know Raven? Definitely made everything worth it. "What made worthwhile?" He grinned, "Easy. Coming home."

Starfire smiled at his answer, tucked into Robin's side. Her plate had long been cleaned and sitting on the coffee table. She yawned widely, attempting to cover it.

"I think it's time for bed," Robin said, trying not to smile at her. "Are you guys spending the night or taking the car home?"

Aqualad looked at the clock on the wall, "I'm all right to drive. I can take us home tonight."

Speedy nodded, "I haven't spent enough nights in my own bed to justify leaving it already."

Bee looked at her teammates, "I'll see you two tomorrow."

A tense moment followed before Raven said tiredly, "I knew it."

Starfire giggled and Bee grinned at both of them. Cyborg's face was so red that it matched his cybernetic eye. Beast Boy exchanged a grin with Robin. This could be blackmail worthy later on.

The tension dispelled, Speedy and Aqualad were seen to the garage. For a couple minutes, it was a confused mess of hugs and farewells. Eventually, Aqualad and Speedy managed to get into the car and drive off. The Titans waved until they could no longer see the red of the taillights. Cyborg herded all of them back inside and up to the main room once more. Starfire and Robin were cuddled together on the couch, the alien girl half asleep but unwilling to go to her bed. Cyborg and Bee were in the kitchen, talking quietly. From the way both of Cyborg's eyes followed Bee as she moved around cleaning dishes, Beast Boy knew it wouldn't be long until Cyborg admitted their relationship. He wondered what would happen. Would Bee stay with Aqualad, Mas, Menos and Speedy? Or would she move in with Cy? Cyborg wouldn't be given the option of moving out – they suffered enough the last time he left them.

So caught up in his thoughts, it took him a minute to realize that Raven hadn't come into the main room with them. She probably slipped off to her room. Which meant that she would be alone.

Finally.

Beast Boy left the main room, the couples too wrapped up in each other to notice. he walked through the halls, the easy familiarity making him wonder if the past year had really happened at all. Now that he was here, with all of his friends, it all just seemed like it had been one horrible, drawn out dream.

Finding Raven's room was a habit so engrained in him that when he found himself standing outside of the closed door, he didn't really remember the journey. He raised his fist and knocked on her door.

"Yeah?" she called through the door.

"It's me." He actually felt nervous.

There was a pause before she responded, "Just give me a second."

He waited none too patiently for her to open the door. When she finally did, he noticed the pile of sleeping bags, pillows and extra bedding on the floor. Her own bed was stripped of its sheets. "Having a slumber party?" he asked.

She smiled, "No. Though apparently a few were had in here. I was just changing my sheets before bed."

"Need a hand?"

"Please."

Together they put new sheets on her bed and replaced the comforter. Beast Boy tried to figure out how to ask what he wanted to and Raven was quiet. She kept looking at him, as if waiting for something, but she didn't say anything.

When they were done, Raven sat down on her bed with a sigh. "Thanks."

"No problem." He grinned and then shifted awkwardly as he realized that if he was going to speak up, now would be the time.

"Are you all right?" she asked him, frowning.

"Yeah. Of course," he reassured her. "I just…I wanted to talk to you."

She looked up at him, a faint smile on her face, "Okay. About what?"

Beast Boy stared at her and then threw his carefully planned words out the window and just opened his mouth. "About everything. The past couple weeks and what's going to happen now that we're home and if you even want to keep trying whatever this is, 'cause I know what I want to do, but I wasn't sure if-"

"Beast Boy," she interrupted. He stopped and took a breath, noticing the faint color on her cheeks. Was that a good sign or a bad one?

"Sorry for rambling."

"It's okay. I'm glad you decided to ramble," she smiled at him and Beast Boy let himself hope a little more that she was going to agree with him. "I've been wondering the same things about you. I know that I would like…that I want to try to-"

"Raven?" The door swung open and admitted the rest of the Titans.

Beast Boy stared at the door and swore under his breath, "Seriously?" This had to be orchestrated by someone. He couldn't actually have this horrible of luck.

"We were wondering where you disappeared off to," Robin said with a smile.

"Bumblebee and I were talking and we would like to make tomorrow a girls day out!" Starfire exclaimed, coming forward to stand by Beast Boy. Bee was standing just inside the door, watching Starfire with amusement and clearly unsure if she should enter Raven's room. Robin and Cyborg had followed Starfire inside, coming level with Beast Boy as they talked to one another about tomorrow's activities. Beast Boy tuned out, staring at the Titans who clearly weren't going to leave in a timely manner. By the time they did, Raven would be too exhausted to talk and he'd have to wait even longer.

He blinked, coming back to Starfire's conversation.

"…and after we get lunch, perhaps you and I could go to the shopping mall and-"

"Enough," Beast Boy said, his voice loud but calm. He grabbed Robin and Cyborg by the arm and herded Starfire out in front of them. "Everyone out."

He ignored the confusion on Robin and Starfire's faces. Bee's brows were raised in surprise as she too was herded out of the room. Cyborg just looked bemused at the whole thing.

Beast Boy pushed them all out of her room and into the hallway, "No one comes within fifteen feet of this door for the rest of the evening, all right? No arguments, no explanations. We love you all but leave us the hell alone for a bit, okay?"

"But-"

"Uh uh," Beast Boy said, holding up his finger. "Just turn around and walk silently away. Don't come back until I say so."

Cyborg took his friends and steered them away, "I'll explain it to you in the living room."

Beast Boy shut the door and sighed, relishing in the quiet.

Raven said from her seat on the bed, "You lasted longer than I thought you would. I thought you were going to lose it when you saw Aqualad and Speedy here."

He glanced back at her, "Been enjoying my frustration, have you?"

Raven stood up and walked towards him, leaning against the wall on the other side of the door. "Maybe a little bit."

"Thanks," he said sarcastically. He smiled to take the sting out of his voice. "With the way my luck has been going, the whole Tower could collapse in the next two minutes, so I'm gonna have to talk fast."

"By all means," she said with a smile.

"I want to know what you want to do now that we're home. I haven't told anyone anything, so if there was ever a time to back out, now would be it. You didn't say anything to anyone else, so-"

"Actually," she interrupted him again, quietly this time. "I may have mentioned it to Cyborg after the car accident."

"You did?" He was surprised. Pleasantly so. If she told someone about him, then maybe she wanted-

"Only Cyborg, though. I haven't said anything to Robin or Starfire." She looked suddenly worried.

"Why not?"

"I wasn't…" Raven rubbed her eyes. "I wasn't sure if now that we were back in the Tower, with everyone, if you still…if you wanted you and I to continue…"

Beast Boy stepped closer, though she didn't look up. Then he put his hands on her shoulders and he bent down to meet her eyes. He took a breath to steal himself and then spoke.

"I told you. I love you. That's not going to change on where we are or who we're around."

He smiled at her, but it wavered when she didn't respond after a minute. He didn't back away, but he loosened his grip, "Unless you want us to go back to-"

"No. I don't want that," she interrupted him, grabbing his wrist.

"Well, good." He grinned, his heart feeling about ten times lighter and all the knots that had been in his stomach unraveled.

She smiled slowly and looked around the room, "Well, look at that."

"What?"

"You said everything you wanted to and the Tower is still in one piece."

He chuckled and reached his free hand up to touch her cheek. She leaned into his palm and Beast Boy ducked his head down the few scant inches towards her and –

"Wait," she said.

Beast Boy hung his head. "You have got to be kidding me."

"No, I just…remember in the gym, just when the ambulances showed up? I was about to say something." Her eyes were bright and he imagined he could almost feel her gaze.

"Yeah."

"I wanted to tell you that now, without needing the threat of death, that I lo-"

Beast Boy kissed her, completely interrupting what she had been about to say. He didn't need to hear it. She made a noise of surprise, but didn't seem to mind his disruption. In fact, she lifted her arms to wrap around his neck and pulled him closer. He obliged, the wall behind her providing the perfect leverage. Despite the fact that he loved the way she tasted – like warm cinnamon and pears – he pulled away fairly soon.

"I already know," he told her quietly.

"Good." She sounded a little out of breath.

He returned to her mouth, holding onto her like she was his life line. She nipped at his lip and he returned the favor. He grinned against her as he felt a familiar touch in his head.

_I do love you._

Beast Boy pulled away and grinned at her. She smiled widely, looking as carefree as she'd ever been. They both jumped when someone pounded on the door.

"You two are together?!" Robin shouted.

Beast Boy laughed when Raven yelled back, "I think you're breaking the fifteen foot rule!"

"Cyborg was serious? You're really together?"

"We'll talk about it in the morning, bird-boy," Beast Boy said. "Now go away."

"I-in the morning?" Robin sputtered.

Beast Boy hadn't realized Starfire had been out there until she spoke up, "Since Beast Boy is spending the night with Raven, is it now all right if I spend the night with you?"

Raven and Beast Boy listened, but Robin was sufficiently distracted by Starfire's question. The sounds of them disappeared and the duo was left alone again.

"You know we're going to be facing the inquisition in the morning?" Raven asked him.

"Yeah," he said, still grinning. He leaned down and kissed her again, having absolutely no intentions of being interrupted again for the rest of the evening. Glad he didn't have to break away to speak to her, Beast Boy spoke silently to her.

_Good thing the morning is an awful long time away._


	23. Epilogue

"Raven, are you sure about this?"

"I've already said that I am, Beast Boy. Why do you have to keep asking?"

"It's just…I can't help but think you're doing this because I asked you to."

He looked so worried that she couldn't help but smile at him, "While I admit that you asking is part of the reason, I also want to."

"You're sure?"

Putting a hand on his chest, Raven leaned up and kissed him. When she drew back, Beast Boy's eyes were soft. "I'm positive."

"All right," he took her hand. "Then let's do this."

Raven let Beast Boy lead her up the stairs, though she wasn't entirely sure why. Well, of course she knew why. She loved him and when he asked her to do this, it seemed like a small thing to do to make him happy.

Besides, she'd never ridden a roller coaster before.

She eyed the small metal seats with a little bit of concern. The pier wasn't as transitory as a carnival, but still…she wasn't certain what kind of inspections theses had to go through.

"Don't think about it, Rae. Just get in," Beast Boy said from his seat.

She joined him, stepping gingerly onto the cart. Beast Boy grabbed her elbow and helped her into the seat. Two weeks after the fight with Light and she was still feeling the aftereffects on her soul. She could use her powers now, she just got tired a little faster. But every day, she lasted longer and longer. Soon, she'd be back up to her old strength again, though she wouldn't be trying that move on anyone else for a very long time.

Beast Boy stared at her in concern. She smiled and squeezed his hand, "I'm all right."

She sat down on the seat, and looked up towards the shoulder bars that came down. She reached up and pulled them down until it locked, securing her in place. Supposedly.

It wasn't like her to put her trust in something that wasn't her own power to protect her. But, she had promised she would try.

A kid who looked younger than her came by and checked that the harnesses were secure. He went through his job quickly, returning to the podium and pressing a button.

The carts jerked forward and Raven instinctively grabbed the handlebar in front of her. Beast Boy laughed and took her hand. "Just relax. It'll be fun and over before you know it."

She was tilted backwards as they started up the incline. Raven glanced over to the side and saw the rest of the pier far below them already, though they continued to rise higher in the air. She thought she caught a glimpse of Starfire and Robin getting off of the bumper boats, but she lost sight of them as the carts got even higher.

"How far up does this thing go?" she asked Beast Boy.

He chuckled and squeezed her hand, "Just a little more."

Raven closed her eyes, counting to ten. She had felt a similar drowning of dread the morning after Beast Boy had kicked everyone out of her room. Though, to be fair, that one was a bit anticlimactic.

_They had walked into the main room, hand in hand, and were greeted by complete silence from Starfire, Robin, Cyborg, and Bee. Raven knew she was blushing, but didn't let her gaze drop. Starfire and Bee both started smiling, but Raven's attention was directed towards the two boys._

_Robin still looked shocked and Cyborg was frowning at the two of them, despite knowing before anyone else. She shifted a little and then Beast Boy spoke up._

"_So?"_

"_So," Robin said. "This is really happening?"_

_Raven nodded, "Has been for a while now. Since you sent us to look for Light."_

"_Honestly," Beast Boy added, "probably even before that."_

_Robin sighed and glanced at Raven, "I feel like I should be doing the threatening big brother thing. But it's Beast Boy. I don't think it'll have the same effect."_

_She smiled, "Probably not."_

"_All I have to say," Cyborg said, "is that if you two start doing the coupley, kissing thing in front of me, I will make fun of you."_

_Beast Boy glanced at Bee and then back at his teammate, "Right back at you."_

_Cyborg flushed and didn't comment further._

_Robin broke in again, "So, you're serious? You're really together?"_

"_Yes," Raven and Beast Boy said simultaneously._

_Beast Boy squeezed her hand and left to go and get something to eat in the kitchen. Raven went and sat next to Star and Bee, who nudged and smiled at her until she rolled her eyes._

"_It's not like much is going to change, dude," Beast Boy said from the kitchen._

"_Sure," Robin muttered, sitting at the table across from the girls. Starfire slid out of the seat and next to him._

"_Come on," Beast Boy balanced two plates and a mug of tea in his hand and came back to the table, "You and Star are together. Bee and Cy are together. It's no big." He sat next to Raven and put a plate and the mug in front of her._

"_We're still the same people," Raven said quietly, picking at her bacon and eggs._

"_Exactly," Beast Boy said. "So stop freaking out."_

_ Robin rubbed his eyes and moved over so Cyborg could sit down once he finished making his breakfast. "It's just weird, you know? You two are just two people I never saw together. But I'm happy for you and if this makes you happy then-"_

_ Beast Boy popped a piece of bacon from Raven's plate into his mouth._

_ SMASH._

_ Everyone at the table jumped save one. Cyborg stood between the kitchen and the table, his breakfast spread across the floor amid shards of ceramic. His mouth hung open as he stared at Beast Boy. "Wha…?"_

_ Beast Boy kept his eyes on his plate, but Raven saw the smirk that spread across his face._

The smile from her memories vanished as the roller coaster paused. She blinked, realizing just how high up they were and her fingers tightened on Beast Boy's.

"You ready?" he asked with a huge grin.

She clenched her jaw, "No."

"Hey," he said, drawing her attention.

"What?"

"Everything's gonna be fine, Rae. It's just a ride."

"I know."

"I know you know," he told her. "But trust me."

Raven blew out a breath at his plea. She swallowed her fear with years of practice and managed a smile. "Okay."

_"Okay?" he repeated._

_ She smiled, "Of course, did you think I was really going to say no?"_

_ "Well…kind of, yeah."_

_ She didn't know whether to be hurt by that or not, so she frowned and faced him._

_ Beast Boy rubbed the back of his neck, "I don't know. But it's your room. I wasn't sure if you were going to be okay with the idea of…"_

_ "My boyfriend moving in?" she summed up drily._

_ He didn't say anything, but his eyes danced a little._

_ "We already live together. And we've shared a bed before. How is this different?" she asked him._

_ "Because it's your space. And the place you go to be alone. If I moved in here, I might bug you. I don't want to take away your space," he told her, shifting on his feet._

_ She smiled, "Well, you recognize that. So I know you know me better than anyone else. And you also know that I wouldn't be shy about asking for time alone if I needed it."_

_ "…and my stuff?"_

_ She smirked, "We can negotiate."_

_ He raised a brow, "Negotiate, huh?" He glanced at her headboard._

_ Raven took a breath and blew it out. This is what living with each other would be all about. Oddly, the idea of getting rid of things that really bothered him didn't bother her as much as she thought it might. "Yes."_

_ "So I can really move in here?"_

_ She rolled her eyes, exasperated, "Yes."_

_ He scooped her up in a hug and made her smile. "Love you, Rae."_

_ "I know. Now go get your things and we'll start making this official."_

The roller coaster dropped.

She squeaked, not entirely a scream, but definitely something close to it. They plummeted down, the wheels on the track sounding like thunder in her ears. The people in front of her were yelling and had their hands up in the air. Beast Boy was laughing at her side.

Once she got passed the fear, the instincts in her body that said dropping at speeds like this wasn't supposed to be fun, she realized that it actually kind of was. The speed, the thrills, and twists…it was like flying, though she wasn't in control. Slowly, she started to enjoy herself. Then she saw the loop up ahead.

Her hand tightened on Beast Boy's fingers and he squeezed back. "Keep your eyes open!" he shouted.

She pressed her head back against the seat and kept her eyes open. The horizon tilted and went underneath her, making her stomach jump in a fairly pleasing way. She couldn't help a little laugh escaping as they righted and bent through a few more twists and turns.

When they pulled up at the boarding area again, she was still laughing. Beast Boy watched her with a smile, "Not so bad, huh?" he asked.

Their harnesses jumped an inch with a click, releasing them from their seats. Taking her arm, Beast Boy helped her out of the seat and onto the platform. She took in his laughing eyes and windblown hair and wondered, with all the horror of the past year, how she had ended up here?

He took her hand with a grin and they exited the ride. Even though she walked a little slower, he never let her go to run off on his own, or pull her any faster than she was capable of going. He just walked at her side, sometimes leading and sometimes following. All this while, he chatted with her, smiled at her, and kept her firmly engrained in the moment.

Raven listened to his voice, waving as she caught sight of Robin, Star, Cyborg and Bee at a booth up ahead.

"So, what do you wanna do now?" Beast Boy asked her.

She smiled and glanced back at the roller coaster, then back at him.

His face lit up, "Really? You sure?"

Raven turned back to the entrance and walked with Beast Boy back to the roller coaster. "Positive."

He squeezed her hand gently as they got back in line. It moved quickly enough back up, getting Raven and Beast Boy back into the seats within just a few minutes.

Helping her in again, Beast Boy dropped a kiss on her cheek. He plunked down into the chair next to her and the harnesses clicked down. Once more, he took her hand and they stared at the track ahead of them.

Conscious of the hand in hers, Raven found herself smiling. Against all odds, here they were. Together. Healthy. Happy.

"I told you it was fun," he told her as the boy running the ride finished the checks.

She laughed, "You're right. It is."

The roller coaster clicked into motion.

* * *

><p><em>I know, long time coming and I'm sorry. :(<em>

_I hope this is all right. If you're looking for a bit more, check out my series of one-shots, Moments in the Aftermath. It's a sort of sequel to this and hopefully it will just be updated as thoughts come to me. I am working on a longer fic, but I'm trying to get more of that typed up before I start posting it._

_Thank you so much for all of you who read, who reviewed, who pestered me into writing faster/more. :) I really do appreciate it._

_So, this fic comes to a close. 300+ page monstrosity. Holy cow. Thanks for sticking with me. _

_And, of course, thanks for reading._

_EmeraldsAndDaggers_


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